


The Stripper

by sfscarlet



Series: Stripper [1]
Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-04-18 05:22:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 54
Words: 152,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4693628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sfscarlet/pseuds/sfscarlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin hates being dependent on Brian for money.  Will his solution this time be better than when he danced for Sap at Babylon?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The chill wind bit through his coat and scarf, despite his best attempts at wrapping them around his neck and body. He walked the two blocks from the bus stop to his apartment building and got out his key to retrieve his mail. Taking the mail, he climbed the six flights of stairs to his small apartment, laying it on the table while he unbundled his body. He raised the thermostat five degrees so that he could warm up his chilled body and put on some hot water to make some tea.

Sitting on the chair at his small two person table, he glanced through the mail. A bill for the water. A bill for the heat. A bill for my rent and the rent on my studio and shit a bill for the paints I ordered last week. Justin got out his phone and tallied up the total amount he owed. $1200. Shit I only make $1000 at the shitty diner and I haven't sold anything in months. 

The phone rang, jarring him out of his thoughts. "Hello."

"You okay? You sound upset?"

"Sorry Jake. I just got a bunch of bills today and realized again that this city is damn expensive to live in."

"I know."

"How do you do it? I mean you are a starving actor who also works as a waiter by day. Got any great words of wisdom?"

"I make do."

"Come on, tell me your secret. I'm desperate, man. Hold on, my water is whistling. Be right back." Justin turned off the burner and poured himself some hot water in a cup. Placing the tea bag and a packet of sugar in the cup, he allowed the tea to seep. "Okay, sorry about that. You were saying?"

"I do some stuff on the side."

"Tell me about it. I could do some stuff on the side. I've got to stay afloat for at least a year. I'm not going back to Pittsburgh before a year."

"I'm a dancer so my body is my best asset."

"Jake, stop being all evasive. Just fucking tell me what you do to make some extra money. I really need to do something."

"Okay. Fine. I work as a stripper for hire. I do birthday parties, celebrations, etc."

"You're a STRIPPER. I know you have a great body, but a stripper?" Justin quickly pictured his King of Babylon stint and realized he could do that too.

"How much does it pay?"

"Depending on what I'm doing, usually $250- $300 a gig."

"How often do you work?"

"Usually 6-7 times a month. I still get to try out for most of the plays and musicals that I want during the day as the gigs are usually at night. And during the weekends, I work at the restaurant for lunch and early dinner. I do all right."

Justin quickly did the math in his head. "Hey, do you think you could get me hooked up? I mean I could do that to earn some extra cash."

"Sure I could. Just let me make some calls. You have a great body and I'm sure you could be put in the rotation."

"Rotation?"

"Well. They first take your picture and add you to their book of clients. Then, depending on the request, they look through their models and give you a call."

"Well, it's a start. I really need the cash. Can you do it tomorrow?"

"No problem. I'll set it up. What you doing tonight? Wanna go for some drinks?"

"I'd love to but I have no money. Remember?"

"My treat. I might even get a little bonus for referring you."

Justin smiled for the first time in days, happy at the thought of making some easy money. "Okay. Let me grab a shower and some food. I'll meet you at 9:30. Tom's okay. I'd love to play some pool. Maybe win some of that bonus money off you before you get it."

Jake laughed. "Sure my friend. 9:30 at Tom's. See you there."

Justin finished his tea and stripped, placing his clothes in the hamper. He turned the water on and showered, running his hand over his taut body, thankful that he still had a flat stomach and didn't need to work out. _I hope this works out. If I get a few gigs a month, I'll be able to pay my bills and won't have to ask Brian for money._ Justin put on a long sleeve white shirt and a deep blue hoodie as well as his beige cargo pants. Going to the kitchen, he looked in the cabinets and small fridge to see what he had to cook and found some pasta and frozen chicken. He placed the noodles in a big pot of water and started defrosting the chicken in the microwave.

Getting out his phone, he pushed the 1 so he could speed dial Brian.

"Kinney."

"Hey, it's me."

"Hey. What are doing tonight?"

"Cooking dinner and going out with Jake to Tom's to shoot some pool."

"You're becoming a regular pool shark. Win any money lately?"

"That's why I suggested Tom's. Jake is a lousy player or he just lets me win. Don't know why, but he's always up for a game." Justin heard the ding of the microwave and turned the chicken over to the other side to cook. 

"At least you have one useful skill in New York."

"Ha Ha. What are your plans for the evening? Going to Babylon to find some hot tricks?" Justin teased, knowing his lover's habits.

"Not tonight. Gus is coming over. I'm watching him while the munchers attend some fund raiser for the Center. We're going to watch Toy Story 3."

"You're a great dad. I love the animation in that story. I wanted to be an animator when I was a kid."

"Speaking of art..."

"I've got to have time to paint in order to show it and I've been working a lot of hours so I can eat. That is a high priority of mine." Justin went to the stove and turned off the boiling pot of water and noodles. "Sorry to run, but my noodles are finished cooking and I have to eat before meeting Jake. Later."

"Later."

After he ate dinner, he placed the leftovers in several containers. His roommate knew that stuff in containers was not to be shared. Phil, his roommate was a friend of a friend of Daphne's cousin. They were on different schedules and he rarely saw him, but that worked out for both of them. He was a taxi cab driver who worked second shift, and that gave him time to audition for plays. Justin wanted to be up during the day too, but he wanted the light for his drawings and this worked out perfectly.

He had about an hour before he needed to leave to meet Jake and he took out his sketch pad. Jake's idea was the first real way of getting out of this financial rat race and he was excited which translated into wanting to draw. He drew some Rage panels since Michael had been after him to work on their new storyline. After drawing three panels, his hand was starting to cramp and it was time to leave.

Justin arrived at Tom's and went straight to the pool table. He finished racking the balls and Jake walked up to his side. "I see you found us a table already. Eager beaver, aren't you." Jake signaled the waiter to come take their drink orders and ordered two Fat Tires. "Okay. Let's play or shall I say, it's time to lose some money."

Justin grinned and broke the balls. After missing his third shot, it was Jake's turn. "Off your game Taylor? Usually I don't get to play until you've sunk 5 balls." Jake took a drink of his beer and shot the cue ball.

"I'm just excited. I can't believe you've been keeping this secret from me for so long. I could have been making some good money all this time instead of digging into my savings." Justin picked up his stick and sank four balls in a row. "There. Is that more what you're used to?" Justin grinned as he lined up another shot. "Better start digging into your wallet. I only have two more balls to go." 

Justin won that game and the next one as well. "Let's sit. I've been standing all fucking day."

They grabbed their beers and went to the small table in the far right corner of the bar. Justin took several draws from his beer. "So how long you been stripping?"

"A couple years."

"Seriously. And I've known you for 6 months and didn't have a clue. I'm a moron." Justin took his fingers to his forehead and bounced them off of it.

"No. You've never really said anything about money, so I assumed you were doing okay." Jake waved to the waitress to bring another round.

"Do all your friends know about the stripping, but me?"

"Justin, it's no big deal. For every successful actor, model, painter out there, there are thousands who just want to make the first break. We all have to support ourselves somehow." The drinks arrived and he paid for them. Pushing one over to Justin, he continued, "I love to dance and when I couldn't find gigs in plays and musicals I thought about other places to dance. I mentioned to Peter that I was looking for other outlets and he turned me on the stippergrams. The pay is great and you only work a few hours a gig. It's not like a club where you'd be there for 6-7 hours and the patrons are pawing you all night. Besides with a club you have to work your way up."

"I know," Justin said with a little tinge of regret.

"You were a club dancer? I just can't see that." Jake took a long draw of his beer. "Shoot, you got to tell me about that one."

Shrugging his shoulders, he said, "It was years ago. I needed money and I didn't want to ask Brian so I got hired at Babylon to be a go-go boy."

"Wow. That's cool."

"No, not really." Justin shook his head in disagreement. "I wasn't making much money until the owner said I could work the big shifts if I blew him. I did and then, well, let's just say that he felt I owed him and I really didn't like the payment plan."

‘I'm sorry." Jake played with his beer, unsure what to say to Justin's story.

"I learned a really valuable lesson. Know when to ask for help. But hey... this is different. I'll be hired out for specific events. Can I say no if I'm busy?"

"Sure, but don't be busy real often. They won't call you back." 

"Yeah. But I don't think Brian would appreciate it if I had to work as a stripper at some party while he was visiting." Justin grinned at how that conversation might go. Not.

"True. Why don't you just ask him for the money? Problem solved." Jake finished his beer and nodded at Justin to see if he wanted another. Justin nodded back and Jake waved to the waiter to bring two fresh ones.

"I could, but I don't want to. He'd give me the money. He has it in abundance, but I want to make it on my own." Justin pushed his empty bottle toward the waiter when he brought new bottles.

"Okay. Well, I'll make the call tomorrow and you should have your shoot scheduled for sometime this week. I know Jose will love you."

"Jose?"

"Yeah. He runs the place. Remember, I told you that you'll go for a photo shoot so that they can put you in their portfolio of strippers and can choose you when they get a job. "

"Thanks Jake. You're a lifesaver. But hey, it's getting late and I need to head out. I've got class at 10:00 and since it's costing me a fortune to attend this one, I don't want to miss it."

"Sure thing, Justin. Let me know how the photo shoot goes."

"Will do."

Justin left the bar, a little skip in his step as he made his way home to his tiny apartment. Sleep came easily that night as he dreamed of having time to finally work on his art.


	2. The Stripper-  The Shoot

The photo shoot was set for later that week.

“Next” 

The brunette with the clipboard touched Justin on the shoulder, “That's you.”

Justin looked at the woman, giving her a tentative smile. “Uh thanks. My mind was somewhere else.”

“You'll be fine. Your smile will win everybody over,” she assured him.

The photographer eyed the new model. “Stand on the X and look at the camera. Did you bring some music?”

Justin pulled out a CD of “Give me the Beat” and placed it in the player next to the small stage.

Smiling, he pushed the button and thought of being at the King of Babylon contest, well more specifically after the contest. There was no pole for him to embrace but he eyed a chair and walked over to it to add to his “stage”.

The thumpa thumpa starts and Justin is lost in the beat. He runs his hands down his torso, ghosting his cock through his pants. Remembering that this is for heteros, he thinks of Daphne and his semi erect cock goes down. Licking his lips he slowly unbuttons his shirt as he moves his hands back up toward his nipples. As the shirt is unbuttoned, he finds his nipple ring, tugging it gently as he takes his other hand and moves it down toward his pants. His hips gyrate in slow circles and he eyes start to glaze over. When his fingers hit the top button of his jeans, he starts to unbutton them.

“Stop,” he hears a voice call out from the audience. “I think we’ve seen enough. Your tape will be added to the cue.”

Justin looked at the woman in confusion. “But I didn’t finish.”

Nodding her head, she explained, “Honey…. You didn’t need to finish. If I let you finish your little dance there, I think you might have been attacked by the film crew. I’m sure you will be called frequently.”

Smiling, he started buttoning his shirt. “Thank you.” He held out his hand to shake hers and she returned the hand shake.

“I might just have to come to your first birthday party… just to see the end of the show.”

Justin blushed and gathered his music and coat and left the studio. Once he was in the lobby, he pulled out his phone and called Jake.

“Yo. This is Jake.”

“I just left the shoot. I think they liked me. The lady said something about being attacked by the film crew.” He laughed as he recounted the conversation.

“You’re a natural.”

“I hope I can dance for a bunch of straight people. Music just triggers visions of Brian and Babylon. I do not think the company would be too pleased with me if I couldn’t show enthusiasm.”

“Don’t worry. Lots of gigs ask for gay dancers. We’re in New York and anything goes.”

“Really?”

“Yep. I’ve done quite a few birthday parties for guys. It’s fun. Sometimes I even get lucky and get to be the birthday present.”

“Not sure I would like that.” Justin frowned at the idea of going home with random strangers.

“You never said anything about being monogamous. You pick up guys, right?”

“No. We’re not exclusive. But I don’t go home with anyone but Brian or a trick we pick up together. I’ll do someone in the back room, but that's all. Too many things could go wrong if you went home with an unknown trick.” Justin smiles at his own words. Brian was an unknown when he took him home. He often wondered what would have happened if he’d been taken home by someone else, but never let those thoughts congeal. He’d been with Brian and that had worked out well for both of them.

“Okay. Catch you later. Tom’s?”

“Not tonight. I need to work at the diner. But maybe Thursday or Friday.”

 

Two Weeks later

Justin walked into Tom’s, the local equivalent of Woodys. He’d been busy these last few weeks since his “interview photo shoot”. This was one of his first nights off as he’d been working as the stripper birthday man and a few shifts at the diner. He spotted Jake at the pool table and walked up to his friend.

“Anyone got winner?” he said casually.

Turning around, Jake smiled and hugged his friend. “Coming out to join the peons I see.”

Laughing Justin shook his head as he flagged down a waiter. After giving his order for a beer, he said, “Nah. Just been incredibly busy. Either I’m working at the diner or I’ve been delivering “birthday dances.” I can’t thank you enough for the referral. For the first time since moving here, I have money in my pocket and I’m not worried where I’m going to get the money for rent.” Justin smiled as he picked up the cue to ground chalk into the tip.

“Glad to be of service. “ Jake picked up the rack and arranged the balls in the correct order. Moving them to the dot on the table, he lifted off the rack and positioned himself at the corner so he could break the set up. “So when’s your next show?”

Justin frowned slightly. “Well…. I may have money in my pocket but I have little time to paint. I’ve got to come up with a solution to that one.”

“Can you give up your diner job?”

“Not sure. I would hate for the birthday thing to fall apart and I have nothing to fall back on. But if I have no time to paint, then there is no reason to be in New York.”

“True.”

“I’ll have to talk to John at the diner, see if I can cut back my hours to 10 a week. I was working 30, but the birthday gig is more than making up for the loss of the 20 hours.”

“Let’s worry about your financial future later and play some pool. Since you aren’t working tonight, let’s say we hit the clubs too. I bet you haven’t had any in a while either.” He grinned as he stood up after sinking the # 4 and #10 ball. 

Justin lined up his shot, but missed the ball. “Sounds like a plan.”

The two friends played three games of pool; Justin won the last one but Jake won the first two. 

“Let’s dance. I hear the thumpa, thumpa calling me.” Justin said as he laid his cue on the rack on the wall. 

They went to the club where they danced until 2:00. Justin was tired when he left, but he called Brian when he got home.

“Late night tonight, huh Sunshine?”

“Been busy. Went with Jake to Pulse. Felt good. Hadn’t done that for a while.”

“All work and no play makes Justin a boring man and we wouldn’t want that.” Brian caressed himself as he listened to Justin’s voice.

“What are you wearing?” Justin asked as he lay on the bed after stripping down. 

“I’m on the bed, wearing nothing at all. And you?”

“The same. Run your hands down your chest. I wanna feel the tight muscles in your abs. Imagine I’m licking your chest, exploring each muscle as it ripples under my finger tips.” Brian’s breath hitched as he ghosted his fingers over his abdomen.

‘‘Now move them slowly down, feel your cockhead as it throbs on your belly.”

“Yes,” Brian said.

“Grab the lube that’s sitting by the bedside table. Squirt some in your hands and then grab your beautiful long cock as you stroke it to full hardness. Pretend it’s me, touching you, stroking you, holding you… hearing you moan in ecstasy is making me go faster. Now take your other hand and play with your balls.”

“Ahhh,” Brian said as he moaned in ecstasy. 

“I’m coming, Brian. Come for me. Come for me now.”

Both men shot at the same time and all that could be heard over the phone lines was heavy breathing. 

“Thanks, I needed that.”

“Anytime Sunshine.”

They both were silent as their heart rate returned to normal, each man recognizing the futility of expressing their longing for the other.

“When you coming up next?”

“I’ve got a meeting in two weeks. It’ll be late though. The owner loves baseball and always wants to go to a Yankee’s game. Why is it that everyone’s favorite pastime is baseball? It really should be fucking, now those are balls I can get into.” Brian grinned at his statement and Justin just laughed.

“Two weeks it is. I should be home by the time the game gets out, if not soon after.”

“Later.”

“Later.”

 

Two weeks later

Justin went into the office of Strippergrams to pick up his assignments for the next week. He had four gigs and was glad to have given up most of the hours at the diner. He had a birthday party for a guy this evening. _That should be fun. I always think of Brian when I’m doing those gigs and with Brian coming in tonight, I can release my energy from the gig with Brian rather than jerking off all by myself._ The gig was in Manhattan at a restaurant he hadn’t recognized since it was probably new. _This will work out great. After the gig, I can get to the Mondrian pretty quickly._

Justin was excited since he hadn’t seen Brian in a month and after the gig tonight he had lucked out and was free for two whole days. Lucky for him, Brian was coming early in the week- Tuesday through Thursday instead of the usual weekend. He really didn’t want to explain to Brian that he would have to work most of the day Saturday and Sunday. He hadn’t told Brian about his new job, wanting to wait until he was more financially secure. At least this time he wasn’t being asked to blow the owner for the opportunity to work. 

Looking at his watch, he noticed the time, realizing that he had most of the morning and all afternoon before he had to be at the gig. He quickly walked to his small studio where he changed into his “painting shirt”, uncovered his latest piece and mixed his palette. Turning up the music he lost himself in his art. Life was good. Knowing he had a tendency to get lost in his art and forget the time, he always set an alarm to notify him if he needed to stop. Unfortunately the alarm went off too early for his liking but he knew it wouldn’t do to miss the gig. After cleaning his brushes and setting the canvas to dry, he locked up the studio and walked home to prepare for the gig. It was a birthday party for a guy but it didn’t matter as his costume was always the same; white shirt with snaps, black bow tie, and black pants that came apart at the sides with a good yank. Today he was feeling feisty and wore his blue jock strap, the men would get a show they should enjoy and he should get some good tips.

 

Brian placed his suitcase on the bed and yanked off his tie. It had been a long day; starting off wrong when Lindsay called him early in the morning to tell him that Gus’ tuition had gone up $100 month and could he see to give them the extra money for just a few months until they finished paying off the car repair bills. When he got to the office, Cynthia had informed him that Starbucks had been broken into overnight and the place was not open until the police could gather the evidence. His morning coffee fix being filled by the “coffee” that they offered Kinnetik staff. It was good coffee, but it wasn’t his normal double latte with cappuccino. His day just continued to be underwhelming when his first presentation was delayed due to an accident on I-79 that snarled traffic for hours. When it was finally time to leave for the airport, another accident almost caused him to miss his flight. The beginnings of headache pulled as his eyes, but the thought of seeing Justin this evening helped lift his spirits. 

When he got to the hotel, he had a message from his host saying they were going to dinner tonight instead of the ball game. That suited Brian fine. He hated baseball but since he was being entertained and not the other way around, he couldn’t exactly refuse. He set the alarm for an hour later and lay down on the bed, hoping to get rid of the headache. When the alarm went off, he cursed as he wasn’t totally rested but went to the bathroom for a quick shower and to redress for the evening. 

His host picked him up in the hotel lobby and grabbed a cab. “I hope you aren’t too disappointed about the game, but I was reminded that I had agreed to attend a birthday celebration tonight and we can attend the game tomorrow.”

“A good dinner is always appreciated,” Brian said as he inwardly cringed at the thought of attending a hetero birthday party. He’d been to a few of those in his time, and there was frequently some female stripper who jiggled her breasts and showed her ass, neither one of which did anything for Brian. While he didn’t hide his sexual preference, many of his accounts did not know. As he was fond of saying, “Unless I’m fucking you, it’s none of your business.” The cab dropped them off at Barolo, a small Italian restaurant . When they were greeted by the Maitre D, they were lead to a private room in the back of the restaurant. _Shit!! Oh well, just a few hours till I see Justin and can nail him into the mattress._

The room had seating for about 20 guests and Brian was seated with the owner of The Drawing Center, an executive from Citysites, the realtor, and his client, Peter, owner of Influence Graphics. Peter introduced Brian to the small intimate group and Brian was pleased at the makeup of the group. Dinner was a traditional Italian lasagna with garlic bread, but Brian ate little due to his no carbs after 7:00pm self imposed rule. About 9:00 pm a man from the table at the far edge of the room stood up. 

“Welcome everyone. As you all know it is Sean’s birthday today and we are celebrating. As a special present we thought we would provide some entertainment for his pleasure.” Looking at the waiters, he motioned for them to dim the lights except in the front of the room and all eyes moved to the area. “Happy birthday Sean!!!!” 

Music came on in the room and Brian recognized the familiar thumpa thumpa of “Give me the Beat”. Expecting to see a blonde bimbo follow the music, Brian was surprised when he saw a blond male come out and that male was Justin, his Justin. _Fuck! What the Fuck! So this is his new job!_

 

TBC


	3. The Stripper- Party Time

His host, Peter, looked over at Brian to see what his reaction was to the stripper. Mistaking the furious look on his face, he says, "We can leave if this makes you uncomfortable. I thought..."

 

"No. It's fine. The stripper is quite good. Do you think I can talk to him after the performance?" Brian said calmly, even though he was seething inside.

 

"Sure. Sean said he saw the guy a few weeks ago at a birthday party and he stuck around for a while afterwards. I think he might even have gone home with the guest of honor. Sean's in a relationship, so he wouldn't take him home, but maybe you can get lucky. He sure is a looker." Peter said as he watched Justin gyrate across the floor, giving the guests a nice view of his bubble butt. 

 

"Yes. He's a real looker."

 

During his performance, many of the guests went up to tip Justin but Brian decided he wouldn't interrupt the dance, preferring to wait. When he finished Justin flirted with the owner of Citysites. Brian knew they had no rules especially when the other person wasn't in town, but he was in town and supposed to meet Justin in just a few hours. It was time to pull out the Kinney charm.

 

Walking over to the table where Justin and the other men were talking, Brian sat down and waited for Justin to look his way. In just a quick moment Justin recognized Brian.

 

"Hi," Justin said awkwardly as he read Brian's face.

 

Brian looked at the man Justin was talking to and gave him a quiet smirk. "Mind if I borrow our entertainment? He's an old friend of mine and I haven't seen him for awhile."

 

The man frowned slightly but saw the ease of the two men and nodded. "Maybe when you're done catching up?" he said hopefully.

 

Justin nodded without agreeing to anything.

 

Brian searched for a quiet place to talk to Justin but didn't see anything remote; instead he pulled him into a corner in the back of the room. "So... this is the mysterious new job?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"We need to talk," Brian was just as surprised by the words as Justin was. Talking things out was for lesbians and he was definitely not a lesbian.

 

"I know, but I needed..."

 

"You still planning on coming to the hotel after the party ends or were you planning on going home with one of the guests?"

 

"I told you I would meet you after work." Justin looked into Brian's face, recognizing the intense anger and the scrunched brow, indicating he was getting a headache. Knowing he was in trouble, he added, "Unless you've changed your mind?" Justin put his hand on Brian's neck, pulling his head toward him as he whispered, "I was thinking of you the whole time I was dancing."

 

Brian pulled back from the embrace and frowned. "No. I haven't changed my mind. I'll see you at the hotel, but don't think this discussion is over. This isn't the time or place to talk." Brian turned and left Justin in the corner as he sought out his host. 

 

"There you are. I saw you talking to the entertainment. Setting up something for later on," Peter said as he nudged Brian in the ribs. "He's one hot number. Makes me want to wish I wasn't with somebody."

 

Brian refused to take the bait. "Thanks for dinner, but I've got a headache. I'm going to head back to the hotel. I'll see you in the morning." Brian headed toward the front of the restaurant.

 

"Sure." Peter followed him. "The New York weather can play havoc on all of us. Let me get you a cab. I'll talk to you in the morning."

 

Brian shook his head in acknowledgement. Luckily a cab came to the curb within a minute. "I'm looking forward to talking tomorrow," Brian said as he got into the cab.

 

Still furious with Justin, Brian was too angry to think of their upcoming reunion. When Brian got to the hotel, he poured himself a generous glass of Jim Beam, drinking it down without really tasting the liquor. Quickly downing several more shots, before he put the bottle away, he reviewed the last several conversations he'd had with Justin. 

 

**"How you doing?"**

**"Good. Working and painting."**

**"So you're getting more time to paint. That's good. Did you sell some of your pieces?"**

**"Not yet. But I think I'm close to getting a few pieces in a show."**

**"Excellent. Just give me a month or so notice this time. I'll come see it."**

*******

**"I haven't heard from you. What's the use of you having a phone if you never keep it on?"**

**"Sorry, forgot to charge it."**

**"Justin a phone is not an accessory. KEEP IT CHARGED!!"**

*******

**"Hey."**

**"Hey, you sound tired."**

**"I am. I've worked four straight days and been painting a lot."**

**"Tell your boss you need to take a few days off."**

**"Can't, they won't put me on the schedule."**

**"I'll let you sleep. Later."**

**"Later."**

 

**

 

_Justin hadn't lied, he just hadn't told him the truth. He was painting more since he wasn't working at the diner. But he was pedaling his body to make money. True, he wasn't selling it like he did at Babylon, but pedaling it the same. I wish he would just let me give him the money._

 

 

Since he left at the height of the party, he knew Justin probably wouldn't arrive for at least an hour. He undressed and flipped on the tv while he lay on the bed. The jarring of the phone woke him from sleep.

 

"Is this Brian Kinney?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Mr. Kinney, there's been an accident involving Justin Taylor. He lists you as an emergency contact."

 

Cold shivers ran through his body. This can't be happening. "Is he okay?"

 

"I'm calling from Lenox Hill hospital. He's in the Emergency room."

 

"I'll be there right away."

 

 

 

 

Justin

 

 

Justin knew he was in deep trouble with Brian. He could read the Brian Kinney manual well; he had actually written many chapters in it, and he recognized the telltale fury in Brian's eyes. He just knew that if he would explain it to him, Brian would be okay with the new job. He continued to mingle with the guests for another hour or so and then thanked the host for using Strippergrams and was paid for the gig.

 

Going in the bathroom, he changed into street clothes, preferring not to travel dressed in his work clothing. New York could be a dangerous place and dressed to the nines, even if his clothes were not expensive, he could be mistaken for someone with money and just asking for a mugging. Dressed in his cargoes and hoodie, he blended into the crowd.

 

He walked to the front of the restaurant and hailed a cab. Brian was waiting for him and he didn't want to take public transportation since it would take twice as long to get to his destination. He knew Brian would listen to reason and then they would have sex all night. He got hard just thinking of Brian's dick in his ass. After giving the cabbie the address he closed his eyes, reliving his show, which had garnered him a particularly large tip, and thinking that maybe he "felt" Brian in the audience resulting in a better than normal performance.

 

Lives change in an instant. It only took a moment for Chris Hobbes to swing the bat at Justin's vulnerable head and it only took a moment for the driver of the car to feel around the floor for his cell phone, but at that moment he veered onto the cab that was carrying Justin. As a passenger he wasn't wearing a seat belt and was flung to the other side of the cab where he lost consciousness as a result of the impact. When the paramedics pried open the door, he was still unconscious, having hit the same side of his head as he did during the bashing. Before arriving at the hospital he woke up and the paramedics placed him in an exam room.

 

The doctor came in, introducing himself. "I'm Dr. Axel. Do you know where you are?"

 

Justin looked around at the unfamiliar walls, trying to get his bearings. "No. Where am I?"

 

"You're at Lenox hospital. You were in a car accident. Do you remember that?"

 

Justin thought for a few moments. He remembered being at a restaurant, dancing and being given tips, but nothing else. He looked down at his clothing, confused. "Where are my clothes? These aren't my clothes." He picked at his gown.

 

The doctor saw the bag with his belongings and showed them to Justin. "Are these your clothes?"

 

Justin peered in the bag, feeling a sense of relief come over him. "Yeah. Thanks."

 

"Is there anyone we should call?"

 

"Um.... I'm not sure."

 

"Do you know your name?"

 

Justin blinked several times, trying to force the information to his mind. Crying at his frustration, "No.... Can you help me?"

 

The doctor patted his hand. "We'll do our best. Right now, why don't you rest and I'll be back."

 

Justin nodded his head in agreement and lay down on the gurney, closing his eyes in exhaustion.

 

Dr. Axel found the nurse in charge of admissions. "It appears that Mr. Taylor has amnesia. Does he have any contacts in his belongings?"

 

"Yes. I already called his emergency contact. A Mr. Brian Kinney. He's on his way."

 

"Good. Let me know when he arrives. I'll want to talk to him before he sees Mr. Taylor."

 

"Okay Dr. Axel."

 

TBC


	4. The Stripper- Truth of Consequences

Brain dressed quickly, grabbed his key card and cell phone and hailed a cab to take him to the hospital. His mind raced, thinking of all the things that could have happened to Justin. _Did he hit his head, was his hand hurt, did he break something. Who did he need to call? Shit! He'd have to call Jennifer and what was the name of his boss? Where was he working? For fuck's sake, he was working as a birthday party stripper. What the hell had possessed him? After I know he's okay, we are going to have a little chat._

 

Before his cab came to a complete stop, he threw money at the driver and rushed into the hospital.

 

"Where's Justin Taylor? I received a call that he was here."

 

The nurse looked up at the handsome man and glanced at her paperwork. "Let me call the doctor for you. If you'll have a seat over in the chairs, he'll be here in a minute."

 

Brian went to the chairs, looking at the clock on the wall. It was 3:00 am; no wonder he was tired. _How long had Justin been here? He'd left the party about midnight. What happened between then and now?_ He ran his hand over his face and hair and put his head in his hands. He raised his head as he heard footsteps coming toward him and the doctor tapped him in on the shoulder. 

 

"Mr. Kinney?"

 

"Yes. How is he?" Brian asked as he swallowed hard, wishing the doctor could tell him that Justin was just banged up.

 

"Why don't we move to the patient area?" He motioned toward a small room to the side of the waiting area.

 

Brian followed the doctor as a chill ran over his body. He could feel the rivulets of sweat under his arms and his heart racing as he waited for the latest news. Sitting in the chair that the doctor motioned toward, Brian looked at the doctor. 

 

"Mr. Kinney, Mr. Taylor was brought in a few hours ago. He was in a car accident. Apparently he wasn't wearing a seat belt and the impact threw him across the back seat into the side of the cab. He must have hit his head because he was still unconscious at the scene." 

 

Brian shook his head, waiting for more information. "Just fucking tell me!! Is Justin okay?"

 

"As far as we can tell, he has no broken bones or internal injuries."

 

Brian breathed a sigh of relief, but then another chill ran over him. "What the fuck are you trying to tell me? If he's not hurt, then why the fuck is he still here?"

 

"He's had a mild head injury. We need to watch him for a few days."

 

"Shit! Again!"

 

"Mr. Kinney, has Mr. Taylor had a previous head injury?" The doctor nodded and made a mental note to put this in Mr. Taylor's chart.

 

"Yeah. He was hit in the head with a fucking baseball bat when he was in high school. He was in a coma for three weeks and in rehab for a while." Brian stood up and walked to the window, seeing only the lights of New York. Normally he enjoyed the view, but tonight it didn't even register.

 

"I see. That explains some things."

 

Brian turned toward the doctor and practically yelled, "What the fuck is wrong with him? Stop talking in circles, doc. Just say it."

 

Used to family members being upset, the doctor did not react to Brian's loud voice. "Mr. Taylor appears a little confused. He didn't know who he was when he was brought in."

 

"So he's awake?"

 

"Yes."

 

Brian started walking toward the doorway and the rooms, but stopped when he realized he did not know which room Justin was in. "Then why am I out here instead of with him? Show me where he is so that I can be with him!"

 

"I just want to warn you that he doesn't remember much of anything before the accident."

 

"Fine. Well. Let me deal with that. Just take me to his damn room!"

 

"We'll talk later, Mr. Kinney." The doctor walked toward the hallway and motioned for Brian to follow him.

 

Brian followed the doctor, thinking that this time he was going to handle Justin's injury differently. He'd learned his lesson the last time and he wasn't going to stay on the side lines. Taking a deep breath, he stood outside the door and willed his heart to stop pushing through his chest cavity.

 

Justin was sleeping in the bed, the white sheet pulled lightly over his body. He looked fine, except for a few scraps on the side of his head. _Fuck, at least they didn't have to drill a fucking hole in his head. Confusion, my ass. God, what if Justin had amnesia again, and didn't remember... no, he wasn't going to think that. This time will be different. I'm here for him. This time he won't wonder if I care._ Brian pulled up the chair from the corner and sat next to the bed, lightly holding Justin's hand. Justin didn't stir. Brian watched him sleep for awhile and then lay his head down on the arm of the hand he was holding. Closing his eyes as he allowed the lull of Justin's heart beat to sooth his nerves. A few hours later, the nurse came in to wake Justin, checking on him. Brian woke as the nurse entered and sat up in the chair. 

 

"I'm just going to take your vitals,"

she said as she watched her patient flutter his eyes.

 

Justin nodded, appearing to understand. The nurse took his blood pressure and checked his pupils. "What's your name?"

 

"Justin Taylor."

 

"When were you born? October 22, 1982."

 

"Good. Why don't you rest and the doctor will be in later." The nurse left the room.

 

Brian looked at Justin as he rubbed his eyes. "Hey," Brian said softly. _He knows his name and his birth date. That's got to be good, right. Maybe he isn't as confused as the doctor thinks._

 

Justin looked at Brian, focusing his gaze and trying to remember why he was here. "Brian...? What happened?"

 

"You were in an accident. Hit your head. You're in the hospital."

 

"Oh. So tired." Justin lay his head back down and was sleeping in a few moments.

 

Brian clasped his hand again, laid his head back on Justin's arm, and allowed himself to be lulled to sleep again. 

 

A few hours later, the nurse came in again, waking Justin to check on him. 

 

Justin sat up again, rubbed his eyes and tried to focus. "What happened?"

 

Brian said quietly, "You hit your head. You're in the hospital."

 

"Oh.... Can I go home?"

 

"Not yet. Soon."

 

"Okay." Justin looked outside, looking at the raindrops hitting the window. "It's raining."

 

"Yeah. How's your head?"

 

Justin put his hand to his head and shrugged. "Okay."

 

"Good. Why don't you rest some more. I'll be here when you get up."

 

"Okay." Justin lay his head down and he was out in a few moments.

 

Brian looked at the clock on the wall. _Shit. I guess I need to call Jennifer._ He covered Justin up with the blanket, leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Later," he whispered and walked out of the room to go the family waiting area where he got his cell.

 

_When did I become so fucking domesticated that I have Jennifer's number in my phone?_ Pushing the contact button on his phone, he searched for her number and called.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hi Jennifer." 

 

"Brian what's wrong?" knowing that it had to be serious for Brian to say Jennifer instead of his affectionately playful Mother Taylor.

 

"Justin's in the hospital. He was in a car accident. Seems he hit his head but he appears okay."

 

"Where are you? I'll be right there."

 

"We're in New York. He's at Lenox hospital."

 

"Okay. I'll catch the first flight out."

 

"Okay. See you."

 

Brian placed the phone in his pocket and went in search of coffee. 

 

TBC


	5. Dream a Little Dream For Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Justin's thoughts are in bold and Brian's are italicized. Wanted the reader to be able to hear both their thoughts so this is how I'm writing the chapter.
> 
> Justin is awake but there is a problem

Justin slept, but his mind was not quiet. **Where am I? The doctor showed me a bag with a tuxedo shirt in it. I remember asking where my clothes were.**

**I'm in a tuxedo and I'm dancing, well almost stripping in front of a group of men. They're placing tips in my thong, lots of tips. I'm talking to a man who is trying to pick me up and then I see Brian. Why is Brian there? Why does he Iook angry?**

**I'm so confused. Are these memories or just dreams? I wish I would wake up and someone would tell me.**

Brian found the coffee, methodically fixed it with three sugars and a cream. Bringing it to his mouth, he took a sip and grimaced at the bitter taste. This was even worse than the coffee at Kinnetik. He took a few more sips, and then threw it away, unable to stomach the drink. He desperately needed a cigarette and walked out the door, looking for the smoking area. 

The signs warned that there was no smoking on premises. Cursing at the do-gooders who wanted to watch over everyone's health, he walked to the edge of the hospital ground and lit up. Inhaling the smoke into his lungs, he felt the calming burn. His mind raced as he relived the last twenty four hours. Coming to town expecting a nice long weekend where he would get to pin Justin to the mattress the majority of his visit, only to find out that Justin had turned to being an "entertainer" for some god-damn stripper company to pay his way. _Why couldn't he have asked me for the money? I would have given it to him. I know, he needed to do it on his own. Stupid twat and now he was lying in some hospital bed with another head injury. Shit!_ Brian inhaled the last drag of his cigarette and crushed the butt with his heel. Traffic was picking up. Jennifer would be here soon. 

Walking to the hospital, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror and was startled for a minute. He looked for shit, his hair uncombed and his white shirt slightly wrinkled. _I'm not here to woo some client; who the fuck cares what I look like._ He went up to Justin's room, hoping he was awake again.

"Hey."

Justin looked toward the door, smiling as Brian walked in. "I was in a tuxedo."

"Yes." Brian tried to keep his face neutral; he didn't want to start anything with Justin now. There would be plenty of time for that discussion later.

"We're in a hospital?"

"Yeah and I must say that white is definitely not your color."

Justin smiled at Brian's attempt at humor. "You're here."

"Twat. Of course I'm here. Wouldn't want you to win over all the male nurses with your winning smile."

"My head hurts. What happened?"

"You were in an accident. You hit your head."

Taking in Brian's words, he nodded, trying to hide his confusion. "Okay. How did you get here?"

"I drove, twat."

"No. I mean why are you here?"

"I'm listed as your emergency contact."

"Oh." the perplexed look on Justin's face told Brian that he didn't know why Brian would be his emergency contact. "Justin. Talk to me. Tell me what you remember." Brian put his fingers on his forehead, fighting his headache.

"Not much. I walked to the cab and then I woke up here."

"Do you remember what you were doing before you walked to the cab?" Brian looked at Justin, willing him to remember the whole evening. He didn't want Justin to deal with another loss of memory like the Prom. That night's event was one of the most difficult times in their relationship and while Justin stated he had remembered the bashing, it was still a painful memory for both of them. Every time Justin went to a garage, he saw the slight hesitation in his partner's face, and inwardly sighed at his discomfiture.

Justin looked at Brian, reading his face, recognizing the fear and hoped that he had the correct answer. "I was in a tuxedo," he said as he remembered the bag the doctor showed him.

Brian let out a sigh of relief, nodding his head in agreement. "What were you doing?" Brian asked, wanting to know if he remembered the party but not really wanting to address that issue at this time. 

Justin hesitated a few moments. "Working?"

Brian urged him, "Tell me about it." 

"Uh... " Justin remembered seeing the tuxedo shirt and tie in the bag. Racking his brain for a job that would suit that dress, he said, "I'm a waiter. I work at Mondrian's." Justin smiled, seeing the sign of the restaurant in his head. He saw himself walking in there in his tuxedo shirt and was happy that he remembered the name.

"That's a nice place." Brian was a little taken aback by the response, but he wasn't alarmed yet. "Justin, why are you working as a waiter?"

"I'm a waiter. End of story. I work for money. Why else would I work?" Justin that was the oddest question that Brian had ever asked him.

"Justin, do you know where you are?"

"In the hospital." He looked at Brian with a smirk.

"Do you know what city you're in?"

Justin leaned back in the bed and closed his eyes for a few moments. "Pittsburgh, where else would I be?"

Brian stood up and paced the room. This was a lot more complicated than he thought. He'd have to talk to the doctor and discuss this new development.

Justin watched Brian pacing, recognizing it as a sign of distress. He didn't know why he knew that, but he did. He didn't understand why the situation would distress Brian. He was okay, not even really beaten up from the accident. "Brian, what's wrong? Why are you upset?"

"I'm fine. I'm going to go look for the doctor. I'll be back." He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on Justin's lips and left the room to search for the doctor.

Justin watched Brian leave his room and reviewed the conversation in his head. **I work as a waiter at Mondrian's and I'm in Pittsburgh. What is wrong with those answer? Something is wrong, I just can't put my finger on it. Shit! Why won't he talk to me?**

Walking to the nurse's station, he ran into Jennifer as she was headed toward Justin's room. 

"Brian." She leaned forward to hug him and he allowed it but barely placed his hands on her back. "How is he?"

"You got here quickly. He's conscious but we've got a problem." Brian ran his hands through his hair and squeezed his eyes tight.

"What's wrong? Brian, tell me." Jennifer's frown had reached her eyes.

"He's confused. He thinks he's a waiter and that we're back in Pittsburgh."

"Shit... Sorry... well, he is a waiter, but he thinks we're in Pittsburgh? What if he doesn't... wait, he remembers you right? Please tell me he remembers you. I remember last... never mind, I don't want to go there, but... damnit!"

"No need to curb the fucking language in my case... and yeah... way ahead of you on that thinking. He does remember me, but I don't think he remembers us. Together. He asked why I was here, as if he didn't expect me to be here. I told him I was his emergency contact and he looked very confused. I think, he's making up stuff on the fly, not wanting to alarm anyone, but I read Justin Taylor very well. After almost eight years in my life, I recognize those looks, even if he doesn't. Also, I don't think he knows he's an artist. It sounds like he thinks he's a waiter to earn money. I mean he is a waiter, just not where he thinks he is."

"Oh my God, Brian... that's... I'm so sorry." She leaned to hug him and he allowed a short one.

"Sorry's bullshit, Jennifer. We've got to figure out a way to tell him that he's in New York, but then we have to figure out a way to tell him he's going back to Pittsburgh. This won't be easy since he doesn't think we're a couple, or at least I'm fairly certain he doesn't."

"Why don't you go find the doctor? I'm sure he has some ideas; he probably deals with this all the time. I'm going to see Justin."

"Okay. Jennifer, just..."

"I know, I won't say anything too telling until we speak to the doctor. The doctor will probably want to ask questions to figure out what he thinks is going on with Justin, unless he already has and didn't tell you."

"I honestly don't know, but I'm definitely going to see what he thinks we should do and ask when we can take Justin home."

Jennifer made her way to Justin's room and knocked on the door. She heard the "come in" and immediately went to Justin's bed and kissed his forehead. "Sweetheart. I'm glad you're okay."

"Ah.... Hi mom. Why are you here?"

"Brian called me. I came as soon as I could."

**Brian called her. Why did he do that? Since when do Brian and my mom talk to each other?**

"Brian said you were in a car accident, in a taxi. Why were you in a taxi? You usually ride the subway." She realized her mistake as soon as she said subway.

"Subway? There's no subway in Pittsburgh. What the fuck?" Justin closed his eyes and laid his head on the pillow, feigning tiredness.

"We can talk later. Why don't you rest? I'll just sit here and keep you company."

Justin nodded and lay quietly in his bed; hoping sleep would come soon so he would not have to explain something he did not have an explanation for.

After leaving a message with the nurse, Brian returned to Justin's room. He motioned for Jennifer to join him outside the room so as not to bother Justin.

"Brian.... I think you're right. I made the mistake of asking him why he was in a taxi versus a subway. He closed his eyes and feigned sleep almost immediately. I think he's beginning to think something is wrong, but doesn't want to admit it."

"Shit, Jennifer."

"I was so relieved to see him, it just came out."

"Whatever. It will come out soon enough. We have to tell him he's in New York. He'll figure that out as soon as he steps out of the hospital." Brian's hand waved toward the window where New York's skyline was evident.

"True. Did you find the doctor?"

"No, but I left a message for him to come see us. Why don't we go in to the room? Hopefully, he will be here soon."

"Brian, why don't you take a break? Do you need to get anything? Have you eaten? I can sit with him while you get something to eat and maybe some fresh clothes."

Brian said, "I'll wait for the doc. If he lets Justin leave, I can get something when I take him back to the hotel."

"That's right. Justin said something about seeing you this weekend. He was pretty excited. I'm still not used to the two of you being in different places."

Brian shrugged, he was not going to admit to Jennifer that although it had been almost a year, he was still not used to not having Justin around. "Let's go in. Maybe sleeping beauty will have woken up again."

About an hour later, Dr. Axel came in to check on Justin. Justin had woken up from his nap shortly before his arrival. 

"Mr. Kinney wants to know when you can go home. Why don't we have a little chat and I'll check you out and then we will decide. Mr. Kinney and ..."

"I'm Jennifer Taylor. Justin's mom."

"Ms. Taylor, will you step outside while I do my exam and then we will have a better idea of things."

Brian and Jennifer walked out of the room and down to the waiting room where they both fixed some coffee. 

"I can't believe he hit his head again. At least this time, he remembers the event. He told me he was working right before the accident."

"But why was he in a taxi? He says that cabs are too expensive and usually takes the subway," Jennifer asked Brian.

"Maybe he was in a hurry to see me?" Brian grinned, knowing that while Jennifer accepted their relationship, she really didn't want to think of those activities.

Blushing a little, Jennifer said, "Oh."

They sat down on the small green couches in the room and pretended to pick up and read the magazines that were on the table. A television in the right corner of the room was droning on about the upheaval in Egypt. Neither of them paid any attention to the news commentators.

Looking at Jennifer, Brian said, "Now comes the part where I get yelled at by your oh so adoring son and I get to convince him that he needs to come back to Pittsburgh with me for a while."

"He should come back with us; he needs someone to watch over him. He should be with you. But, if there's anything I can do..."

"I have some presentations that I really should attend; can you possibly come over and be with him for a few hours on Monday? I'll call Cynthia about rescheduling my clients for next week."

Jennifer took our her I-Phone and opened the calendar feature. As she scanned the entries, she nodded as she reviewed her calendar. "Luckily I only have a few meetings next week and I'm sure they can be rearranged."

"Good. As soon as the doc releases him, we can get this show on the road. Hopefully he can be released today. At least he's awake and coherent."

"Yes, at least there's that." Jennifer was far more relieved than she was letting on. She couldn't believe her baby was in another accident, but she also knew whose company she was in and it wouldn't do to rehash previous events and traumas. She could only hope that with Justin actually being with Brian, even if they didn't remember being together, maybe being in Pittsburgh and back in Brian's loft might trigger something. Jennifer picked up the magazine and flipped to an article about redecorating your kitchen, but did not read it.

Dr. Axel stepped by Justin's bed and shone a light into his eyes. Satisfied with Justin's reactions, he asked, "Mr. Taylor, what year is it?"

"2007'

"What month is it?"

"June"

"How old are you?"

"24"

"Where are you?"

"In the hospital."

"Do you know what city you are in?"

Justin grinned. "Yeah. Sure. Pittsburgh. I've always lived in Pittsburgh."

"Who are the people that were in the room with you earlier?"

"My mom and Brian."

"Who is Brian?"

"A guy I know."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I wait tables. You and Brian ask a lot of the same questions."

"Can you tell me about the accident?"

"No."

"I see. What do you remember?"

"The last thing I remember is walking on the street."

"Mr. Kinney told me that you told him you were at work before the accident, is that true?"

Justin felt tears well up in his eyes, and wiped them with his hand. "I was hoping that was a good answer. Evidently it was since he stopped asking questions."

Dr. Axel shook his head, waiting for Justin to continue. "I had a head injury when I was in high school and Brian witnessed it. He took it really hard that he couldn't do anything to stop it." Justin listened to his words and stopped short. I know there is more to this story, but I can't seem to remember. Damn!!!

"Well according to the information Mr. Kinney provided on the insurance forms, your general information is correct. There is no concussion. Medically, you are fine to discharge."

"Thanks doc." Why is Brian filling out medical forms on me? What am I not remembering?

"I'll fill out the discharge forms. If you start experiencing headaches or seizures, you need to notify your physician immediately."

"Okay."

Dr. Axel left the room and went to find Brian and Jennifer. "Mr. Kinney and Ms. Taylor, I've completed my exam and feel that Mr. Taylor can be safely released; however, it appears he has some memory lapses."

"I know. I was going to ask you about that. How should we handle this? He thinks he's a god damn waiter instead of an artist and he thinks he's in Pittsburgh for fuck's sake."

Dr Axel was slightly taken aback by Brian's language but he'd heard worse in his many years. "That's a tricky question."

"The last time this happened, my psychologist friend said we should re-enact the scene of the accident so it might trigger his memories. It didn't fucking help at all and I'm not too thrilled about putting him into a taxi and recreating another accident. He thinks he's in Pittsburgh, we can't exactly make a backdrop stage when he leaves the hospital and I don't want him going back to his apartment."

Nodding his head in understanding, he motioned for the two of them to follow him to the corner of the lounge. He poured himself some coffee and sat down. Brian and Jennifer sat opposite the doctor and waited. After taking several sips of the drink, he spoke, "From his answers I don't think he knows that you're his partner, Mr. Kinney. He knows who you are and that you are important to him, so you're going to have to go slowly on this one. In time, maybe even a few days, he might remember. He remembers a lot of immediate information; his age, the month, the year, but he doesn't remember the accident. That's not unusual and he may never remember it or the events leading up to it. How long have you been partners Mr. Kinney?"

"I've known him for 8 years, we've been partners almost 3 of those."

"So this is not a recent development?"

"No. We have a long history; albeit turbulent at times, but there is a definite history."

"That will be in your favor. He may start to draw on his other memories of the two of you, but until then you have to take it slow. I suggest he not go home with you. It might really confuse things." Turning toward Jennifer, "are you in a position to take Mr. Taylor home with you?"

"Of course." Jennifer looked at Brian, seeing the anguish and hurt in his face and felt for him. "Brian, this time you are welcome any time in my home."

Brian nodded at the words, but did not say anything in response.

"I suggest you tell him that he is in New York and not Pittsburgh, Mrs. Taylor. It might be better coming from you. I'll let him know that he needs to be with someone and shouldn't go home alone since he's apparently confused."

"Thank you, Dr. Axel."

"I'll be in to sign the discharge papers in a little while."

"Good. Why don't you go talk to Justin and explain why he's going home with you. I'll call Cynthia and have her make reservations for the late this afternoon. I need to let her know to reschedule all but the most important meetings for the next week or so."

"Okay and ....thank you, Brian."

Jennifer walked down the hall to Justin's room where she found the young man watching the rain fall on the window pane. "I didn't know you were that fascinated by the rain."

Turning at her voice, Justin smiled. "Nah. There's nothing on TV to watch. Lots of boring talk shows on during the day." Justin sat on the bed looking like a lost child in a man's body. "Hi Mom. What's the verdict? Do I get to go home or stay in this lovely hospital?"

Jennifer walked over to the bed and sat next to Justin, reaching out for his hand. "Sweetheart...."

"I'm not 10 years old anymore. Don't treat me like a child." Justin bristled.

"Okay. The doctor says you can leave here, but you need to come home with me."

"I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter."

"Honey. You are fine, but...."

"But what? I got a little banged up. No reason for you to watch over me." Justin stood up and walked to the window where he watched the rain again.

"Justin.... You are a little confused and the doctor feels that you need to be with someone."

Justin turned around and shouted, "I'm fine! I don't need you to be with me."

Brian returned from making his phone calls. "Justin. Calm down. Your mother is only following doctor's orders. Now quit being a drama queen."

He started to open his mouth to argue with Brian and his mother, but the adrenaline abated as quickly as it had hit. Brian is still here. What am I missing? How does he know me so well? "Okay. I guess I'll see you around Brian. Can I at least go to my place and pick up some stuff?"

Brian smiled as he saw that his voice still made Justin calm down in the face of a queen out.

"Sure. We can swing by your place on the way to the airport."

Jennifer shook her head at Brian's words, but it was too late.

"The airport?" Justin looked between the two people and put his head in his hands as their words washed over him. "What the fuck!!"

TBC


	6. If It's Tuesday. It Must Be New York

Brian and Jennifer looked at each other, trying to nonverbally determine who would talk and eventually Jennifer decided she should take the lead. Sitting down on the bed next to Justin, she turned toward him and pulled his hands away, gripping his chin and moving it so he could see her face to face. 

"You're in New York, Justin, but we need to take you home to Pittsburgh." She decided to make the explanation as short as possible, allowing him to process the information and ask questions as he saw fit. "We'll stop at your apartment and pick up some of your things." 

He looked between the two of them, saw that they appeared to trust each other and he shook his head. 

Justin looked around the room, eyed his bag of clothes, but remembered they were pretty dirty. "What am I going to wear on this airplane ride? I don't think I want to show up in a hospital gown?" 

Smiling, Jennifer shook her head. "Of course, sweetheart. I'll go down to the gift shop and buy you some clothes." She headed toward the door. 

"I'll go with you. I need to make sure that you don't buy him some hideous running suit." Brian walked out with Jennifer and waited till they were away from Justin's room. "I'm going to call his friend Jake and fill him in. In the meantime, I'll go to his apartment and remove any signs of his painting. Luckily he has his studio and does the majority of his work there. I'll pay his rent through the end of next month and I'll call Cynthia to forward his mail to the Loft." 

"Thank you for doing this. I wouldn't think of all the details." 

"His memory better return soon. This is bullshit. Walking around like he's not a fucking artist." 

Brian left Jennifer at the hospital and took a cab to Justin's apartment. In the cab, he pulled out his phone and called Jake. 

"Hello?" 

"It's Brian. Justin's Brian." 

"Hi. Got a gig for me?" Jake's adrenaline shot through his veins. He had given Brian his phone number one time when Justin introduced them to each other. He asked Brian if he ever needed models for ads and had given him his phone number "just in case". 

"No! Justin's been in an accident. Can you meet me at his apartment?" 

"Shit!!! Is he okay?" 

"Okay is relative. Just fucking meet me at his apartment!!! I'm on my way now." 

"I'll be there in ten minutes." 

"Good."

***

Jake was sitting on the floor by the door when Brian arrived. Taking his key out, he let himself in to the small apartment. "Jesus Justin, you really are a slob," Brian said as he eyed the dirty dishes in the sink, the random three socks strewn on the floor in the living area and the unmade bed in the corner. "Doesn't even have a fucking dishwasher in here." 

Brian reached into his pants pocket and took out his wallet, pulling out $50.00 and handed it to Jake. "Clean up this shit!! Justin and his mom will be here in a few hours to pick up some stuff to take to Pittsburgh. I got to call his boss at the diner." Brian eyed Jake as he said the diner and saw the visible flinch of the young man. "Do you know anything about the other job he's been working, Jake?" 

Hearing the undercurrent of fury in Brian's voice, Jake wasn't sure he should answer him. "Yeah. I know." 

"What the fuck was he thinking?" Brian rolled his eyes. He didn't have time to have this conversation. "Where's that number. I gotta call them too!" 

"I'll call for you," Jake volunteered. 

"Fine. I'll be back in a few hours with Justin and his mom. This place better be clean." Brian stormed out of the apartment and hailed a taxi back to his hotel. 

"This is Mr. Kinney. I need to check out unexpectedly. Have someone pack my bags and deliver them to the front desk. I'm in room 712." 

"Absolutely Mr. Kinney. We will have them ready when you arrive." 

***

Jake watched Brian leave the apartment and spoke to himself, "Justin, you really do have a way with men. Brian is hell on wheels. I can't believe I just took $50.00 from him to clean up your shit. I wouldn't believe it myself except here I hold the Ben Franklin in my hand. Guess I better get started, he'll be back soon." 

Jake picked up the dirty clothes and removed the sheets from the bed. He put on fresh sheets and put the others in a laundry basket to take with him. He washed the dishes in the sink and made sure any sign of Justin's art career was out of sight. From what Brian said, Justin didn't remember that part of his life and he didn't want to confuse his friend. He hoped that Justin would remember him- _Jesus that would suck if he didn't recognize me._ He sat on the couch, grabbed the remote and found Top Gun on the Classic Movie Channel. Settling in to watch it, he waited for Justin and Brian to return.  
***

The cab took Brian by the hotel where he paid the bill and had the hotel send his bags to the airport. He didn't think about the cost, just knew he needed to make this go as smoothly as possible. He needed Justin home where he could keep an eye on him and keep him safe. Arriving at the hospital, he returned to Justin's room, hoping he was ready to be released and had accepted his return to Pittsburgh. 

Not bothering to knock, Brian entered the room. Justin looked up as he walked in the door and smiled. "Your place was a mess. Jake is cleaning it up now." 

Frowning at the statement, Justin took a few moments before answering. "You went to my place?" 

"Yeah. Didn't want Jennifer to find your stash of porn," he said tongue in cheek. 

"Oh." He's grinning. I really don't have a stash of porn. That's good. Jake... I know Jake.... Yeah. I do. Shaking his head in answer to his verbal conversation. 

Brian saw the hesitation on Justin's face and guessed he didn't know who Jake was. "I would ask what's going on in that head of yours, but I really don't think I want the answer to that question. Where's Jennifer and can we leave? I hate hospitals." 

"Mom's getting me some medication at the pharmacy. Evidently the doc wants me to have some shit in case I get antsy." 

"So you can fly this coup?" 

"I still don't understand why I have to go back to Pittsburgh. I'm fine." 

"Trust me, Justin. Fine is not the correct word. You are not "fine" when you believe that you are in Pittsburgh when this is New York. End of discussion." Brian leaned over and kissed Justin on the lips, and then straightened up and buzzed the nurse. 

"Justin's ready to leave." 

"I'll order a wheelchair." 

Brian walked over to the window as he stared at the bizarre scene outside. Seeing the rooftop air conditioners and the backs of buildings was always a little disconcerting, but to see it from this height without a balcony was even more startling. 

"What you looking at?" 

"Nothing. This isn't a view I typically see. Normally I'm standing out on a balcony and overlooking the bustling city. This looks sedate compared to my normal view of New York."

"So you come here often?" Justin asked, hoping to gain information for the holes in his memory. 

"As often as I can," Brian said, not thinking about the information and how Justin would respond. 

"So your work brings you here a lot?" 

Brian turned around, hearing the hesitation in his voice. "Stop fishing, Justin. I know this is frustrating, but you're one of the strongest men I know. Asking questions isn't going to return your memory. I know. Just give it time." 

Justin looked at Brian, trying to fit the pieces into his memory. _He knows more than he is telling me. And this is more than what happened at the prom. I think ...Shit I don't know what to think. I'll have to trust him and my mom._

The nurse brought the wheelchair and Justin reluctantly got in it. "I guess this means I'm going to Pittsburgh." 

"Smart man," Brian responded, hoping that Justin would maybe recognize the phrase. As he looked at his partner and didn't see any recognition, his heart sank just a few more inches. 

The three of them met the cab at the front of the hospital and it took them to Justin's apartment where Jake was eagerly waiting. 

"Hey man," Jake said as he greeted Justin with a hug. 

Justin did not return the hug as he didn't recognize the man, but managed to say, "hi". 

Jake shrugged and addressed Brian, "I cleaned up the place. I'll take his laundry to the laundromat and get it cleaned." 

"Good. I've arranged for the rent to be paid for the next two months and the mail to be forwarded to me." Handing Jake his business care, he said, "Here's my card, if you need anything else. Did you take care of the other phone call?" Brian sneered as he thought again of the party last night. 

"Yeah. They said..." 

"I don't need the details." 

Brian turned toward Justin and watched as he looked at the unfamiliar surroundings. "I think you can find the bedroom in this matchbox. I'll help you get some clothes and your toiletries."

"You've been here before?" he asked. 

"Yeah. This is where you live, in this lovely one bedroom hole in the wall," Brian responded. "Look, I know this is all new to you, but we don't have time for show and tell, we have a plane to catch. Go to your room and pack some clothes, I'll get your toiletries." 

Justin walked into the bedroom and stood in front of the dresser. Pulling out the drawers, he grabbed five shirts, five pants, socks and underwear and placed them in a duffle that had appeared on the bed. Looking around the room, he couldn't see anything else he needed so he waited for Brian to return with his toiletries. Brian placed them in the bag, zipping it closed. 

"We need to leave." Opening the door to Justin's place, he watched Justin and Jennifer leave. Turning toward Jake, he said, "Keep an eye on the rest of his stuff. Check the place out a few times a week. Stay here if you want. Make sure no one thinks it's empty. Wouldn't want New York's finest to squat here since the renter is indisposed. I don't know if, or when, Justin might be back. If whatever the fuck this is takes a long time I'll let you know and you can get his stuff packed and sent back to me. Otherwise, fuck! Who the fuck knows what'll happen." 

Shaking his head in understanding he said, "Keep me updated then? I... I don't know what to say. He's a really great guy, one of my best friends. Can you call me in say a week?" 

"I'll call you." 

Brian carried the bag down the stairs and hailed a cab, telling the driver to drop them at the airport. At the airport, he went to the ticket counter and checked them in. He was thankful that Justin had his ID on him so he could verify who he was. Finding the ID in his shit hole apartment would have been a pain. Jennifer checked in and the three of them made their way through security. 

After going through security, Justin announced, "I'm hungry." 

Brian laughed. "At least some things don't change. What do you want to eat? We have about 45 minutes until we need to board the plane." 

Looking at the multitude of choices, Justin chose Au Bon Pain. Feeling for his wallet, he realized he didn't have it. "Can you buy me a sandwich? I'll pay you back." 

Placing his hand on Justin's lower back, he steered the young man toward the restaurant. "I'll buy your sandwich, Justin, but you don't need to pay me back." 

Justin shrugged, but didn't argue. He was hungry and just wanted to eat. After Justin ordered, Brian ordered soup and a salad and Jennifer ordered a sandwich. They waited at the small table in the back of the restaurant. Jennifer gathered napkins and plastic silverware as Brian stayed with Justin. 

Watching Justin in the crowds of the airport, Brian was relieved to see that Justin didn't appear to suffer from his aversion to crowds as he did after the bashing. He hoped that aversion would not return. 

"I still don't understand why I have to go back to Pittsburgh. I'm fine. I don't have a concussion and the doc released me." 

This was the third time Justin had expressed the same idea since leaving the hospital and it was wearing on Brian. "Who was the guy in your apartment earlier?" 

"Jake." Justin was proud that he remembered his name. 

"How do you know Jake?" 

Justin stared at Brian, fuming internally at his inability to remember. "He's a friend." 

Brian was impressed with Justin's quick ability to answer question without knowing the answer. "What does Jake do?" 

Justin hesitated, and then said, "I don't know." 

"Right. You don't know. You just guessed that Jake was a friend since he was at your place. That is why you need to come to Pittsburgh, Justin. You have memory holes. We want you safe." 

_He wants me safe. We're in bed, naked. I asked him about barebacking. He got angry, told me he wanted me safe._ Before Justin could respond, Jennifer brought over their food. "Here, Sweetheart. I brought you mustard and mayo too. I know that's how you like to eat your sandwiches." 

Slumping in his chair, admitting his defeat, he murmured, "thank you," and opened the packets to fix his sandwich. He ate in silence and Brian and Jennifer respected his silence, but were disturbed as he usually couldn't stop talking. 

They finished their quick lunch and walked to the gate where the airline attendant was announcing boarding. Since they were flying first class, they boarded the plane and found their seats. Justin chose the window and Brian took the aisle so he could stretch his legs. He ordered two bottles of Beam, one for him and one for Justin. Justin may not have his memory, but I know he hates flying. Jennifer smiled at the gesture. 

It was a short trip and no one really talked during the flight. After departing, they grabbed their luggage and took a cab to the city. Brian had already arranged to have his luggage delivered to his loft and had the super place it inside. Justin watched the scenery as the cab sped by and was pleased that at least this seemed familiar. They arrived at his mom's condo and the cab driver took out their luggage. Brian helped Jennifer take it to the condo where she let them in. 

Justin looked around and was stunned when he didn't recognize some of the items. "Mom, where are we?"

 

TBC


	7. Welcome To Pittsburgh

Justin looked around the unfamiliar living room, turned toward Jennifer and asked, "Mom where's dad's chair? And what happened to the end table that was next to it. Where did that painting come from and where are we?"

Jennifer looked at Brian, silently asking for guidance but they were both flying on instinct here and neither knew what to say. Jennifer said, "Your father's chair is at his place and so is the table."

Justin sat on the couch, placing his head in his hands. "So, dad doesn't live here?"

"No."

"What happened?"

"We divorced six years ago." Jennifer's heart tore as she listened to each of Justin's questions, reliving that difficult time in her life when Justin first asked her the same thing. ‘Why are you getting a divorce? Is it because I'm gay?' She had answered him honestly then and would do so again. He would hopefully have an easier time accepting the information this time. At least this time he had Brian's support and she was accepting of his relationship of Brian. They had all come a long way.

Justin did the math in his head. Six years ago he would have been 18, graduating from high school and had been hit by Chris Hobbes. The prom. Brian came to his prom; he remembered that or did he just imagine that? "My prom... you came to my prom?"

Brian smiled at his question and said, "Yeah, I came."

Nodding his head at the affirmation, he chose not to continue the questions. "Dad and you are divorced and it happened about the time of my prom."

"Yes. You look tired, Justin. Why don't you go to your room and take a nap?"

Justin started to argue but then realized he was tired and a nap sounded like a good idea. Maybe a nap would help him fill in the gaps. "Where's my room? Wouldn't want to end up in the wrong place," he said with a little laugh.

Relieved to hear him joking, Jennifer walked upstairs and showed him his room. "I'll cook something for dinner. You have any requests?"

"No. Not really." Justin said as he started to unbutton his shirt.

Taking the cue, Jennifer left him alone and returned to Brian down stairs. "Are you staying or do you need to take care of things?"

"He'll probably sleep for a few hours. He could always sleep more than anyone I know. I'll go back to the loft and unpack, shower and take care of a few things. Why don't I come back tonight for dinner?"

"That sounds good. And Brian," Jennifer hesitated a few seconds, "Thank you. I know this must be hard for you, but be patient. He will remember. He has to."

"I hope you're right." Brian called for a cab and waited in the foyer for it to arrive.

Brian took the cab to the loft and was pleased when he opened his door to find his suitcases by the door with a note from the super telling him that they arrived at 2:00 this afternoon. Brian took them into the bedroom and quickly unpacked. Hanging his suit up, he remembered he was suppose to meet Sean to discuss the deal. Making a mental note to call Cynthia when he finished unpacking he grabbed a quick shower to wash away the travel stench.

"Cynthia, I'm back."

"How's Justin?"

Long ago he would have been annoyed at the question, but he had changed and his most trusted friends knew his true feelings for the blond. "Physically he's fine, but he doesn't remember the last 6 years."

"Ouch. What are you going to do?"

"I can't do shit! He‘s not a computer that I can buy extra memory for. He's going have to remember stuff by himself."

"I'm sorry, Brian."

"Sorry doesn't help Justin. Did you call Sean? He was expecting me this morning to talk about the campaign."

"Of course, I called. I told him we would have to reschedule. Do you want Ted to keep the appointment?"

Brian reviewed the details of the account in his head before responding. "Let Ted do it. Have him call me if he has any questions. My notes are in the file. He should be able to access them."

"Will do, boss. I've rearranged your calendar for the rest of the week and most of next week. I couldn't reschedule your meeting with Leo Brown. He's only available tomorrow at breakfast. Can you make that or do I need to send Ted?"

"No, I can make it. Justin rarely gets up before 10:00 and I can finish up with Leo before Justin is showered."

Cynthia laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"I find it amusing that you know Justin's schedule so well despite not even living with the man."

"I may not live with him, but I've known him for many years. Now, we were discussing work, not Justin. Anything else that needs to be taken care of?"

"No. I've got it covered. But Brian, please call and let me know how he is."

"Sure."

Brian hung up the phone and sat down, allowing the adrenaline to slow in his veins. The last 48 hours had been one non-stop curve starting with the damned birthday party. _What had the twat been thinking? I may never know if he doesn't recover his memories. Fuck! He needs to remember._

Closing his eyes, he fell asleep and didn't wake up until his phone rang.

"Kinney."

"You're back from New York. Did you have a good time? Well of course, you did. Were you asleep? I guess you didn't get much sleep since you were doing Justin."

"Enough Michael. What do you want?" Brian answered gruffly.

"We're going to Babylon later tonight and I thought you might want to join us. You're always a little down when you get back from New York."

_Shit. I'm going to have to tell them about Justin. Do I want to hear them yell now or later because I didn't tell them? Maybe seeing familiar faces will help him remember. He does remember stuff up to the fucking Prom._

"I have to go to Jennifer's. Justin was in an accident and he's staying there until he recuperates."

"Justin was in an accident. Why didn't you tell me? Is he okay? Have you told Ma? ...."

"Slow down, Mikey. It happened in New York. His cab was hit. He was banged up but he doesn't remember most of the last 6 years."

Michael listened and then it hit him. "Shit! He doesn't remember the last six years.... That means he doesn't remember ...."

"Yeah, Mikey. Justin knows who I am and he remembers the Prom but he doesn't have a clue that we're partners."

"That sucks. What are you going to do?"

"Mikey, I don't know. I'll be there for him."

"Can I do anything?"

"Let everyone know. I'll let you know when you guys can visit. Maybe seeing you will help jog his memory."

"Will do. And Brian... I'm sorry."

"Sorry's bullshit, Mikey. It doesn't change a thing."

They hung up, not having any more they could tell each other. _Well that is one task taken care of. The gay grapevine will know about Sunshine soon enough. I better head to Jennifer's._

Justin undressed and got into bed. He felt like a child who was cranky and told to go to bed as punishment. Anger bubbled up inside him but then he remembered Brian's question about Jake. He really didn't know who Jake was. He might confuse someone for a friend and they could hurt him. Yawning again, he closed his eyes and allowed his body to sleep.

 

_I'm in a tuxedo and I'm dancing, well almost stripping in front of a group of men. They're placing tips in my thong, lots of tips. I'm talking to a man who is trying to pick me up and then I see Brian. Why is Brian there? Why does he Iook angry?_

 

_I'm in a tuxedo and Brian is helping me tie the tie. I hate those things. He's in a gorgeous suit, Armani I think. But why am I in a tuxedo? I ask him if I look okay and he tells me I look hot, but that I better get out of the room before he takes me out of my tuxedo. I smile at him and he kisses me softly on the lips._

 

_I'm in a tuxedo at an awards banquet. Brian is standing on the podium. I look around and Cynthia and Ted are at the table, but I don't know anyone else._

 

_I'm in a tuxedo and I'm dancing with Daphne. We're in a hotel ball room and lots of our classmates from St. James are here. Brian walked in and told Daphne she was beautiful and asked to steal her date. We danced on the dance floor, him twirling me as everybody watched. He dipped me and kissed me on the dance floor. It was so wonderful and then I walked him to his car so I could return to the dance. I hear him yelling at me and I turn catching Chris and his bat in the corner of my eye._

 

Justin sat up in bed, bits of information from the dream tried to push to his conscious level, but they couldn't travel that far. He felt that he had the information in his grasp, but groaned in frustration when he couldn't retrieve it.

He rubbed his hand over his face a few times, trying to wipe the sleep from his body. Looking around the unfamiliar room, it took a few moments to orient himself and remembered that he was at his mother's. He'd been in a car accident and his mom and Brian had insisted that he come back to Pittsburgh. She had said it was his room; therefore he decided to do some investigating and see if he could learn anything about himself. Evidently, there were some gaps in his memory and this might be a perfect way to fill some of them in. 

Walking to the dresser, he saw a picture of Brian, him, and a little boy. The little boy looked just like Brian. At first he was confused and wondered why Brian was with a little boy and why was he in the picture. He thought about it and then realized that the little boy must be Gus. He looked around and there were several other pictures of the little boy and Brian; some with him and some without. Yep, must be Gus. He looks to be about 7. _Shit! I did lose some memories._ Sitting back on the bed, he tried to remember anything about Gus but nothing came to mind. Hearing the cuckoo clock from downstairs chime six times, he decided he would go downstairs. Maybe he could get some other clues as he looked around his mom's house..

TBC


	8. The Pink Elephant In The Living Room

Justin put on his jeans and t-shirt and went downstairs. His mom was in the kitchen stirring the contents of a pot, but turned around when she heard his approach.

"You're awake. Did you sleep well?"

"Mom," Justin said as he shrugged. "I'm not five. Please don't patronize me."

Jennifer silently shook her head in acceptance of his statement. "Can you set the table for dinner? Molly will be here and Brian said he'd be back as well."

"Sure." Justin walked into the kitchen, but stopped. "Uh, Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Where are the plates and silverware?"

Jennifer swallowed hard as she heard the uncertainty in the question. Give me strength, she said silently. "The plates are in the cabinet above the dishwasher and the silverware is in the drawer under the cabinet. Makes it easier to unload the dishwasher."

Justin smiled a half smile and set the table. He didn't ask his mom where the glasses were, but decided to open the cabinets until he located them. Looking around the kitchen, he saw the napkin holder and placed napkins at each place setting as well. His stomach rumbled loudly. "When's dinner? I guess I'm hungry."

"Dinner will be ready in about half an hour. Molly had soccer practice so she should be home in a few and then she'll want to shower before we eat." She opened the oven to check on the food and satisfied that it was done, she shut off the heat. "Eat an apple if you're hungry. It'll tide you over." She grabbed an apple and sat down at the table to eat it.

Joining her at the table, Justin grabbed an apple and they sat in companionable silence for a few moments. "Mom, can I ask you some questions?"

Jennifer felt a cold chill come over her as she didn't want to be put in an awkward situation, but said, "Yes."

"There are pictures of me and Brian with a little boy in the bedroom. Is that Gus?"

"Yes."

"I thought it was. The little boy looks a lot like Brian and I remember babysitting him when I was in high school."

"You're very fond of Gus," Jennifer said as she threw the apple core in the trash.

"I wish I could remember."

"Give it time, Justin. You've been home less than a day."

Before he could say anything, the doorbell rang and Jennifer got up to answer it. Opening the door, she saw Brian on the other side. She reached out to give him a kiss on the cheek and he pecked her cheek in return. 

"Come in, Brian. Molly should be home in a few minutes and after she takes her shower, we'll eat." Jennifer gestured to Brian to enter her home.

Justin watched the exchange and was slightly confused by it all. Brian and his mother had not been friends, in fact that they had been very hostile toward each other. She blamed him for the bashing, along with other things, but now he was welcome with open arms and she even kissed him. The weird thing was that Brian kissed her back. 

Looking around for Justin, Brian spotted him by the edge of the kitchen archway. Seeing his confusion, he realized in Justin's mind he and Jennifer were still on each other's "bad list". Walking over to Justin he smiled but did not reach out for him, even though every muscle in his body wanted nothing more than to engulf the man in his arms. 

"Have a good afternoon?" Brian asked, trying to stay on safe topics.

"Sure. I looked around my room when I woke up. There were pictures of you and Gus in there. Even some of the three of us."

Brian recognized Justin's attempt at gaining information but he wasn't going to provide any at this time. "Yeah. He's a cute kid."

"Briannnnnnn," Justin said, the exasperation evident in his voice. 

"Justin, stop fishing for information. You'll remember when its time. Don't push it."

"Since when are you and my mom on the same wave length? She said the same thing a few minutes before you got here."

"She's a smart lady. I'm sure you'll remember more tomorrow. For now, why don't we watch some TV while we wait for Molly." Brian went over to the couch and picked up the remote from the side table.

"You even know where the remote is. That's creepy."

"I've been here many times. Of course I know where the remote is." Brian patted the place beside him. "Come on, sit. I'm sure we can find some anime on TV."

Justin walked over to the couch and sat next to Brian, allowing him to surf the channels until he found an anime cartoon. They watched TV without touching; both men aware of the strangeness of the situation, even if they had completely different ideas about just how strange it was.

After Molly came home and showered, she joined everyone downstairs. "I'm starving. When's dinner?"

"We're ready now. We were waiting for you to come home. Justin. Brian. Dinner's ready."

Justin sat across from his sister and stared at her. 

"What are you staring at, Jus?" Molly asked as she picked up her fork to stab some meat on the platter.

Justin turned red. "Sorry....It's just that in my mind you're still a little girl with a ponytail and not a ...."

Molly laughed. "Surprised you noticed, little brother. You're not exactly interested in girls. You and Brian have been batting for the other team for as long as I can remember." 

"Molly!" Jennifer said, obviously taken aback at her daughter's words.

"Mom. Everyone knows about Justin being gay. It's not some family secret."

Justin looked at Molly and his mother; and then to Brian, trying to take in this new piece of information, and hoping someone would make a comment, but no one said a word. 

"Oops." Molly said when she realized what she said. "Please pass the potatoes," Molly asked Justin.

Justin passed the potatoes and said to Brian, "Please pass the roast."

The food was passed and everyone ate in silence.

Frustrated at the situation, Justin put his fork down and said, "Stop it. I'm not invisible and you don't have to hide from me. Yeah my memory is missing a few pieces, but I can remember enough to know that we don't eat in silence. So please talk. Brian... Mom... Molly... I can't remember anything if no one talks about anything."

Jennifer shook her head in understanding. "Okay, sweetheart. Molly how was practice? Did you get to play forward again?"

"Coach said that I can play forward for the next game and see how I do. I made a goal last game and assisted in three others so he's impressed. I wonder if I'm going to make the varsity team." Looking at Brian, she asked, "Didn't you play soccer as a kid?"

"I got a soccer scholarship to college. Only way I was going to get out of the Pitts."

Her eyes lit up in excitement. "Wow. I didn't know that. Would you practice with me? I bet you could show me some cool moves."

"Sure. I play all the time with Gus. Even though he's only seven, he's pretty good with his feet." He smiled at Molly as he saw the female version of the "Taylor" smile on her face. 

"We used to take him to the park. I would sketch you two while you played," Justin said as he saw a vision in his mind of him sitting on a park bench, sketch pad in hand, as the two of them ran on the soccer field where spectators often gathered to watch.

Brian nodded his head and beamed at Justin for his new memory. "Yeah. You always said that you liked being a spectator, rather than a participant."

The words sounded familiar and Justin blushed as he remembered another afternoon in the loft.

"Justin," Jennifer said, a questioning lilt in her voice. 

"I'm fine, mom. Really. Just remembering something."

Jennifer blushed as she thought of events that might make Justin blush. "Oh."

Brian changed the subject. "Jennifer, how is business? Did you sell the large Tudor by the riverfront?"

"Not yet, but I have had some prospective buyers. It's a lovely old home, but needs some updating." Jennifer looked at Brian with a knowing look and he understood the message.

"I'm stuffed. That was delicious, as always. One day when you get tired of the Real Estate business, you should try cooking for a living."

Everyone laughed at Brian's statement. 

"And you would be her first client?" Molly teased. "My mom would have to make nothing but tasteless turkey sandwiches." 

"Well... ," Brian smiled as he looked at Molly.

Justin looked at the people at the table, threw down his napkin and walked toward the door. 

"Justin,.... Where are you going?" Jennifer asked, confused at his abrupt departure.

"Out." Justin grabbed his jacket and walked out the door.

Everyone watched Justin walk out the door, but no one stood to go after him.

"Brian...?" Jennifer asked as he watched his partner storm out.

"He's angry. He asked us to talk, hoping for someone to comment on Molly's statement, but we ignored the topic. It was the biggest pink elephant in the world to him." Brian stood up and took his plate to the kitchen and threw away the scraps. 

"Shouldn't you go after him? He trusts you." Jennifer asked and almost pleaded with Brian.

"If he doesn't come back in fifteen minutes, I'll go find him. He can't have gone far. He has no money. He's just queening out; a very Justin thing to do."

"How can you be so sure? I'm worried Brian." Jennifer wrung her hands a few times and then started clearing the table.

"He's been my partner for almost three years and I've been with him almost eight years. You get to know someone pretty well." Brian finished clearing the table and grabbed his coat. "I'll go find him. If I'm not back in an hour, call Carl and fill him in. See if he'd be willing to unofficially have his guys go look for Justin."

Molly stood up from the table to bring her plate to the kitchen. "Brian.... I'm sorry. I forgot. Justin and you have been a couple for so long...." Molly went to Brian and gave him a hug which he allowed.

Brian kissed the top of her head. "No apologies, no regrets, Molly. I'm sure when the gang comes over, one of them would let something slip. He'll be fine."

"Okay. Take care of him." She opened the door and watched as he walked out of their condo and onto the sidewalk. When she could no longer make out his figure, she closed the door and went to help her mom dry the pans from dinner.

TBC


	9. Jennifer's Truth

"Mom, do you think he'll find Justin?"

"Yes. Brian and Justin have a special radar and honing device between them. He'll find him and take care of him. That's what Brian does for people he cares about." Jennifer smiled as she remembered many instances where Brian came through for his "family".

"Mom, you have a funny smirk on your face. What aren't you telling me?" Molly went to the kitchen table and motioned for her mother to join her.

Jennifer dried her hands and put lotion on them and joined Molly at the table. "Molly, you said it yourself. Brian and Justin are a couple and have been forever. It just took me a long time to understand that."

"I know you didn't always like Brian. What changed?" Molly played with the salt and pepper shaker, twirling them on the table. 

Jennifer put a small tuft of hair behind her ear and said, "There really wasn't one thing that changed my mind, but a lot of little things. After his accident- the prom, Justin was very angry and I couldn't control him. I was afraid so I asked Brian to take him and care for him. He did and he didn't throw it in my face that just a few short days before that I had asked him to leave Justin alone and stay out of his life."

"You asked Brian to stay away!!! How could you?" Molly said as her voice raised a few octaves. Leaning for forward in her chair, she waited for an explanation, but couldn't fathom her mother saying something like that to Brian.

Jennifer swallowed hard. She had expected to tell Molly this story one day, but wasn't ready to face her own short comings. "I blamed him for the bashing." Jennifer hung her head in shame for a moment and then looked at her daughter. "But then when I couldn't control Justin; I knew I had to ask Brian and hope he would be more successful. Luckily, Brian loved your brother, even then, and took him in, cared for him and I got my son back."

Molly sat quietly as she took in the enormity of Jennifer's confession. Her mom had really disliked Brian at one time. She was glad that she didn't remember that time too clearly. She's always thought Justin and Brian made a good team. "You said there were more things; although that is pretty big." She said as she lowered her voice, but she still felt her heart beating a little faster than normal.

"The plane tickets he buys Justin to come home, the weekends he stays with Justin in New York, his attendance at every show Justin has ever had; including the first show at the GLC, the paints he buys Justin when he's in town-even though Justin can buy paint in New York, the tickets he bought us to see Justin last summer... I could go on for a long time. These are just the things he does for Justin. He helps Debbie and Michael and Emmett- all of them."

"But don't all couples do things for each other?"

"Yes, they do. Brian does things for everyone; not just Justin. He's very generous and I saw that he provided for those he cared about. Brian recognizes each person's value and needs and acts accordingly. While the things he buys for Justin are often things he could buy himself, by buying them for Justin he's letting Justin know he cares about him and his happiness."

"So he's kind of like a patriarch?"

Jennifer smiled at the analogy and nodded. "Yeah, the patriarch. Everyone in their little circle looks to him for approval, even your brother."

Molly thought about the statement for a moment, but then frowned. "But... I thought they were partners. Why would Justin look to Brian for approval?" Molly grabbed a soda from the fridge and returned to the table. As she popped the top off the Pepsi, she played with the tab, twirling it on the table. 

Jennifer hesitated. This was not her relationship, but Justin and Brian's. She toyed with the idea of not explaining it to Molly, but in light of the situation, she decided that this might help Molly understand some of the events that brought Justin here. "Justin met Brian when he was just a little older than you are now... 17"

"I know. I've heard that story so many times, I could recite the history of the two of them."

Jennifer smirked and nodded; there was no need to tell Molly everything about the Justin/Brian show. "When your Dad decided that Justin couldn't stay here if he continued to like ...."

"Sex with men," Molly filled in.

"Yes." Jennifer blushed as even now she had a hard time imaging the two of them together.

"Mom.... I'm not ten years old anymore. I know that Brian and Justin do it. They've practically done it in our living room with their clothes on."

Jennifer nodded again, choosing not to acknowledge her son's apparent lack of decorum. "Brian told your father and me that was no way for someone to live and he took Justin home with him."

"Wow. So Justin was living with Brian while he was in high school. That is so cool." Molly continued to twirl the pop top on the table as a smile that almost rivaled Justin's appeared on her face.

"Brian took him in, but... well... Justin and Brian.... They had their problems. Justin was always trying to please Brian, do what he wanted. Brian may have taken him in, but they weren't really together. It wasn't like it is now. Brian was just letting him live there."

"Mom... What does this have to do with what's going on? I'm really not following your story." Molly got up to throw her soda can away and sat back down.

"Justin has always wanted to be Brian's equal, his partner. Brian doesn't give out accolades. He celebrates accomplishments. So each time your brother did something that Brian was proud of, he let him know. Justin would seek out opportunities for Brian to be proud of him, hoping Brian would acknowledge that he cared."

Nodding at her mother's explanation, Molly said, "So Justin did stuff to make Brian proud. Okay, I get that. It makes sense. But doesn't Justin know that Brian likes him no matter what he does?"

"Brian loves your brother. Right now, your brother doesn't remember that and it is killing Brian. I hope he can regain his memory of the two of them soon. I don't want to think what this will do to the two of them if he can't remember."Jennifer got up from her chair and gave Molly a big hug. "I'm sure it will all be settled soon. Don't you have homework to do?"

"Yeah. Hasn't it been close to an hour? Aren't you supposed to call Carl?" Molly asked as she started up the stairs to do her room.

Jennifer looked at her watch and realized it had been close to an hour since Brian left. She picked up the phone and hit 4 on the speed dial. "Brian. Did you find him?"

"Shit! Yeah. I found him. We're in my car. "

"Okay. I'll leave the porch light on for you." Jennifer walked upstairs and knocked on Molly's door. "Brian found him and they're in his car."

"Thanks mom." Molly closed the door and sat at her desk to complete her biology homework.

Bbjbjbjbjbjbjbjbjbj

Justin walked down the block. His mom had said she'd lived there for over 6 years. From everything Brian, Molly and his mom had said it had been 6 years since the Prom and this is where his memories stopped. He hoped walking this area, one that would hold only recent memories would help him regain information. He looked carefully at each house, but nothing seemed familiar. It was so frustrating. He saw a small strip mall at the end of the block and walked quickly toward it, hoping that a store would bring back memories. As he walked down the sidewalk of the strip mall, he felt a heavy burden on his shoulders as nothing looked vaguely familiar. There was a small bench outside the drug store and he sat down on it, putting his head in his hands. 

Brian spotted Justin sitting on the bench, head down and his heart went out to his partner. Justin liked to be in control and this was most likely killing him. He wasn't sure what he could do to bring back his memories, but he knew he would keep trying and wouldn't give up. Justin had opened his heart many years ago and while he took a long time admitting what Justin meant to him, he wasn't about to give up on him. Brian walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder as he quietly said his name.

"Justin." Brian looked hopefully at Justin, but knew the answer before Justin spoke. "Nothing?"

"No." His eyes welled up with tears but he refused to cry. He shook his head in response.

"Don't push it. Want to take a ride to see Daphne?"

Justin smiled at the mention of his best friend. "Sure. I do remember her."

"My car's by your mom's place. I'm sure she'd like to see you. It's Sunday night so she should be home. We'll call her on the way." Brian gently put his hand on the small of Justin's back as he guided him back to the car. The gesture calmed both men.

Walking to the car they both were silent. Justin got in the passenger side and buckled his seatbelt. A flash of a memory flickered through his mind as he saw himself buckling his seat belt and Brian in a leather coat. He smiled at the memory.

Seeing Justin smile, Brian asked, "What's up?"

"Just a memory. I saw a flicker of us sitting in the car and you had on a leather jacket."

"That's good. Maybe the ride will push your memories some more." Brian turned the car toward Daphne's, hoping that she might be home. Daphne would be a good person for Justin to see since she had known him since Kindergarten. "Do you recognize the area?"

Justin watched as the unfamiliar cityscape passed his window. He was quiet and subdued. As he neared a somewhat familiar street, he perked up. "This looks vaguely familiar. Are we close to her place?"

"Daphne lives near here. I was hoping you would recognize the Schoolhouse apartments." Pushing the button on the steering wheel, he called Daphne, hoping she was at home. 

"Hi Brian. How's it going? You back in town?"

"Daphne. I got Justin here with me. We thought we could come for a visit."

"Sure. How long till you get here? The place is a mess." Daphne said as she picked up the clothing on the floor of the living room and stuffed it into the laundry hamper. 

"We're about five minutes out. How about we stop at the Fruit and Flower Mission and grab some ice cream? Rocky Road okay?"

"Perfect. I'll see you in a bit."

Justin smiled. "I remember a lounge chair and some ice cream. That is a real memory, right Brian?" Justin felt the beginning of an erection, but ignored it. Brian hadn't made any moves toward him and he wasn't going to push his generosity.

Brian slid his hand over Justin's thigh. "Oh yeah, twat. You got me to eat ice cream despite its fattening calories." Brian felt the beginning of the bulge in Justin's pants. This was the first indication that Justin might remember that they were a couple. His heart beat went up a few notches.

"Maybe we could try that again?" Justin slid his hand over Brian's crotch and ghosted over the slight bulge there.

Smiling at the suggestion, Brian's spirit lifted for the first time since the phone call Thursday night. Maybe sex with his partner would bring back some spectacular memories. "Okay, maybe later. But you know the ice cream was hot. I doubt if Ms. Chanders would like us to re-enact that scene. Me, you and a tub of vanilla ice cream- you're messy." Brian smiled as he remembered that night; Justin feeding him small tastes of ice cream and then strategically dripping it on his body as he licked it off of him. "We're almost to the store. Want anything else?"

"I'd kill for some cigarettes or don't I smoke?" Justin said as he tried to get more information from Brian.

Brian weighed his answer, but decided this piece of information was harmless enough. "You occasionally smoke, but you're always after me to quit."

Justin shook his head as he saw a picture of the two of them sharing a smoke outside a house. He racked his brain to place the house and realized it was Debbie's house.

You said, "Well don't think you've won. That it's over. 'Cause the second you do that, you're dead."

And I answered, "Not as long as I have you to protect me."

"You always had a photographic memory." Brian winced when he remembered that night. It was only a few weeks before the Prom and instead of protecting Justin, his presence resulted in him being hit with a bat. And here they were again, Justin with memory loss and Brian trying to protect him from himself. _Shit!! I didn't protect him then and I certainly didn't protect him now. If only he would have allowed me to give him money we wouldn't be in this position now having this awkward conversation._

"So that really happened? I didn't just imagine it." Justin asked, smiling at his new memory.

"Yeah, that happened too." Brian turned off the car. He was inwardly thrilled that Justin was remembering things and he seemed to be remembering things from 6 years ago. He hoped that didn't mean that they would have to relive the last 6 years. It was difficult enough the first time and he didn't want to think about how hard it would be the second time. "We're here. Let's go buy some Ice Cream so you and your favorite fag hag can hang out."

Justin and Brian bought the ice cream and some cigarettes and drove to Daphne's. Brian let Justin out of the car first, hoping that he would know the apartment, but Justin just waited for Brian to meet him and lead the way. Damn and here I thought that this would be easy.

They walked up the stairs and Brian knocked on Daphne's apartment. Daphne opened the door and gave Justin a hug and Brian a kiss on the cheek. "What are you doing in the city? You told me you had a new job and..." Daphne looked at Justin's face as he took in her apartment and saw Brian making a line across his throat with his finger and shaking his head at her comments. "Justin... Brian... What the fuck? You look like you've never been here before. What the hell is going on?"

tbc


	10. Dr. Daphne

Brian walked into Daphne's apartment and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as he handed her the ice cream. "Justin, why don't you sit down and I'll go help Daphne with the ice cream."

"Okay." Justin said as he walked toward the couch. Once Brian and Daphne were out of the room, he casually walked around the living room, hoping to see some familiar items that might jog his memory.

Brian followed Daphne to the kitchen, watching her as she scooped the ice cream into three bowls. 

"Brian... What the Fuck? Start talking." Daphne said as she looked at Brian's sad eyes and watched her best friend wander through her living room as if it was the first time he'd been there.

Brian sighed loudly, already tired of explaining the unexplainable. "In a nutshell. Justin was in an accident. The cab he was riding in was hit and he was thrown across the seat, hitting his head. It appears that he's lost six fucking years of memories. He knows who he is and who I am but doesn't know that we're together."

Daphne dropped the ice cream scooper into the sink, emphasizing her alarm. "Shit!! So that's why he's here?"

"Yeah. He got himself into this predicament but I'm not about to leave him in New York without his memories. No telling what he'd do. He might think that.... I'm not going there. Justin's mind is an amazing thing and he twists shit around all the time, even when he not suffering from a damned head injury."

She gave Brian a hug, which he allowed. "What can I do?"

"I was hoping that hanging with you might jog a few more memories. At least you're smart enough not to let information slide. I can't count on the gang to be so discrete."

"Operation memory is officially launched. Let's go in there. He's probably getting antsy."

Justin looked at the pictures on her wall. She was in some of them, but not all and unfortunately none of them brought a memory to the surface. Looking at her CD's, he saw she had eclectic taste and he recognized a few of the groups like Moby, but again nothing sparked a memory. When Brian and Daphne returned, Justin was holding a picture of himself and Daphne from the prom.

"You looked great," he said to Daphne as she walked into the room.

Watching as he held the picture in his hands, she could see him willing it to yield information. She waited for him to continue, hoping that the picture might spark more memories.

"You were there. I remember. We danced?" He looked at Brian as he asked the question.

"Yes." Brian grabbed his bowl from the coffee table and started eating the cold treat. Brian knew he remembered the Prom; they had talked about it earlier, but he didn't want to push the memory. He wasn't sure if Justin remembered afterward.

"You walked me back to the garage... He hit me. Chris hit me and ...." Visions of the hospital room flashed through his mind. He was in therapy trying to pick up a paperclip. He yelled at the therapist and swiped all the paperclips on the floor. He asked his mom repeatedly where his father was, but she always said he was busy. "You didn't come see me when I was in the hospital," Justin said as he looked at Brian, trying to figure out the turn of events. He racked his brain, but nothing new came. "But you're here now." Justin ate his ice cream, not saying another word.

Brian swallowed the spoonful of ice cream that he had placed in his mouth. _Damn, I don't want to go down that road again. How do I explain to him it hurt too much. Will he believe me? He doesn't know that we're together and that we've worked through that bad time. Damn that driver. Couldn't he have hit another car instead of Justin's._ "I'm here now."

Justin heard the words and saw the pain on Brian's face. "Why does that bother you? You didn't want to go to the Prom? I remember. You told me you didn't want to spend your evening with a bunch of 18 year olds. Right? You said that, right?"

"Yeah. I said that. You have a phenomenal memory."

Justin laughed. "Well if my memory was so phenomenal, I wouldn't have forgotten the last 6 years." Justin ate a few more bites of ice cream. "Why are you here, Brian. I know I'm not 18 anymore, but...."

"Justin, how long are you staying in town?" Daphne asked, recognizing the tension in the air.

"Hell if I know. Brian and my mom seem to think I need protecting. I can take care of myself. I don't need them," he answered, the venom of his words almost biting Brian.

Brian bristled at the anger in Justin's words. "Justin, we talked about this on the plane. When you regain your memories..."

"Damn it, Brian. I'm not a child and you don't have to placate me. I'm really not sure why you're even here, but I guess we're still friends or something. Otherwise those pictures of Gus, you and me wouldn't be in mom's home. I know you aren't going to fill in the blanks. Just answer me. Do we have more of a history?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for telling me the truth." Justin nodded at Brian, inwardly happy that he at least knew that Brian and him continued on after the Prom. "Daphne, what are you up to these days?"

Daphne gulped down the ice cream that was in her mouth as she scrambled to answer the question. "What do you remember?"

"Daphne, the last thing I remember is the summer after Prom. I missed graduation and when I got out of the hospital you and I went to the tattoo parlor so you could get your tattoo."

"That's your last memory?"

"Yeah. So I know you aren't going to fill me in on six years of activity, but at least you could tell me what you are doing now. Come on, Daph."

She took her empty bowl to the kitchen, sorry that is was empty as now she had nothing to keep her hands busy. She returned with a soda and popped the top. "I'm studying for my licensure exam. I graduated in August and I take my exam in December."

"Licensure for what?" Justin asked. At least someone was willing to talk to him about the present.

"Counseling. I'm a therapist and I want to work with traumatized patients. PTSD is my specialty."

"So you going to practice on me?" Justin half joked.

"No. It wouldn't be ethical since I know you so well. But if you want, I can refer you to someone." Daphne answered, looking at Brian as she spoke. While Justin didn't remember the last six years, her professional goals weren't going to change any of his memories.

Brian nodded at her discreetly, but she saw the acknowledgement.

"We should hang out while you're here. I've missed you."

"That would be great. I'm staying at my mom's. Do you know where that is?"

Daphne looked at Brian for confirmation of this statement and then she realized that if Justin didn't know about them as a couple, it would make sense that he would be at his mom's. _Oh how terrible for Brian. He finally gets his shit together and they are working at being a couple and then Justin gets injured and forgets it all._

"Yeah. I've been to your mom's place a lot. She has the best tea. Tell you what. I've got the afternoon free on Wednesday. Why don't I pick you up and we'll go to lunch. Maybe go shopping at the mall or something."

"Ok. I'll see you then." Justin got up and gave Daphne a big hug. "It's late. I guess we better go." He grabbed his coat off the coat rack and looked at Brian.

Brian stood up and went to Daphne as well. He kissed her check and whispered "thank you" to her. "I'll keep in touch."

She smiled at him and whispered back, "We'll fix this. We always do."

They walked to the car in silence. Justin opened the door and got in, buckling his seat belt as he looked at Brian. "Do you think any of that therapist stuff could help me regain my memories?"

Brian didn't like therapists and didn't totally believe in their mumbo jumbo, but if there was a way to "fix" Justin and they had the key, he was willing to try it. "I'm not sure, Sunshine, but we can talk about it."

"You called me Sunshine."

"Yeah I did. Is that okay?"

"It's fine. You call me that a lot. It's a special name. Just like you call Gus "Sonny Boy," Justin said as he was telling Brian a statement rather than a question. 

"Right again. Are you remembering other things, Justin?"

Justin leaned back in the car seat and looked out the front window. "No. It just comes to me. I can't push it."

Brian looked at Justin's sweet red mouth and pale skin. Wanting nothing more than to take him back to the Loft and devour his partner, it took all his self restraint to place his hand on Justin's thigh and squeeze. "It will come when it comes." Placing the gear shift in drive, he drove toward Jennifer's condo.

As they drove toward Jennifer's condo, Justin looked at Brian and said, "I remember the Prom, but I know a lot happened after that."

Shit! Justin don't go there. "Yeah."

"My mom asked you not to see me, but then she asked you to take me back."

"Yes," Brian answered. As a man who hated to talk, he knew that he would talk if it would help Justin.

"Why'd you take me back? I need to know. Maybe it will help me remember."

"We're almost to your mom's. We can continue the conversation there if you'd like, but it's late. Do you want to talk about it tomorrow?" Brian asked hoping that Justin would wait till tomorrow and then forget about the subject.

"I took a nap this afternoon. I want to talk now." Justin looked out the window and watched the scenery, trying to imprint landmarks in his brain.

"Ok. I need a smoke before we have this conversation. I'll join you inside in a few," Brian said as he parked the car outside Jennifer's condo.

"I'll have one too," Justin informed him as they walked to the front stoop.

They smoked their cigarettes in silence and then Justin opened the door. He went to the living room, turning on the light by the couch and sat down. Motioning for Brian to sit, Brian chose the chair next to the couch.

"Brian. This is very weird. I remember my senior year when I met you and I remember the Prom and a little while afterward. You're still here. I guess that means something, but I'm not sure what. I know you don't want to tell me everything that happened in the last six years, but will you help me fill in the blanks?"

"Twat. I said I would, but I'm not a Lesbian so don't expect hours of long conversations."

"Fair enough. I'll keep that in mind. Brian Kinney is not a lesbian."

Brian smiled at Justin's joke and waited for Justin to talk.

"I remember the Prom, you showed up, we danced and Chris Hobbs hit me with the bat. I know I was in the hospital for a long time but you didn't come see me. Then I came home and I ended up living with you. I may not have a lot of my memories, but I still have common sense. I don't remember why you didn't come see me. Since I know all the other stuff, it's not really a missing memory."

"You're right; it's not a missing memory. It's not missing because we never talked about it."

"We never talked about it? Well we can talk about it now." Justin said as if his statement would get Brian to talk about something that they never had discussed in the past.

"It happened 6 years ago, Justin," Brian said not wanting to explain to his partner why he did something six years ago. _If I'd gone to see Justin in the hospital and told him what he meant to me, it would have spared both of us a lot of heartache. But hindsight is 20/20 and while Justin did not have his memories for most of the last 6 years, justifying to him why I did or didn't do something wasn't going to change their relationship now. Or would it? no regrets, no apologies._

"So. I still want to know," Justin said as he silently hoped that this new information might give him insight into his current life. Obviously Brian was a part of his new life, or current life. He just wanted to understand his place.

 

Brian stood up and paced the small room, feeling like a caged animal. "I didn't come because I couldn't do anything. No amount of charm or money could make you well and my presence there was not going to make you get better," he said this very softly, hoping that Justin would hear him and accept his response, not continue to grill him.

"But you're here now."

"I'm here now."

"Justin," Jennifer called as she walked down the stairs. "I thought I heard the door open." She bent down to hug him and he allowed it but did not return the hug. "I thought you had him in your car? That was almost two hours ago," she said to Brian. Taking another look at the two men, she realized she had interrupted something. "I'm sorry. I was just worried. I'll leave you two alone."

"It's fine. I was just leaving. I'll see you tomorrow." Brian grabbed his coat and walked out the door. _Shit! I don't want to talk about the prom. How do I explain to him that I was a fucking coward, afraid to admit my feelings and afraid that he would die and it would just kill me? How do I explain that we never talked about my absence, even though Jennifer knew I was there? Is it really fair to talk about what happened in the past and my mistakes and what I would do over? Shit! This is so fucking complicated. I'm getting a headache. Thank you Jennifer for interrupting, but if I know Justin, he's like a dog with a buried bone and this won't stay buried._

Jennifer stared at Justin and saw tears in his eyes, but did not say a word.

"Oh Mom. Do you think he'll be back?"

TBC


	11. The Truth Hurts

Jennifer chastised herself for not listening a little closer to the conversation before interrupting. Her son was crying, again, and while Justin was a grown man and more in touch with his feelings than Brian, she knew this was horribly difficult for him. This time Brian was here, but he didn't understand why and he couldn't reach out for the support of his partner, the man who loved him more than anything in the world. She'd come to accept Brian as an integral part of her life as well as Justin's and to see both of them in pain was heart wrenching. Still she had to tread lightly while reassuring her son that his partner loved him without telling him that huge piece of information.

 

"Justin," she said as she sat down beside him on the couch. "He said he would come back tomorrow. Brian always is a man of his words."

 

Looking at his mom, Justin heard the sincerity in her voice and the truth to her words. Brian never said he would do something if he wouldn't. He was like that, truthful to the point of hurt sometimes. "Yeah, he is." Justin took his sleeve and wiped away his tear tracts and reached for a Kleenex and blew his nose. 

 

He got up to throw away the tissue and looked around the unfamiliar room filled with pieces from his childhood. There was the cream sofa his mom had bought when he was 12 and she had strictly forbidden him and Molly to sit on, preferring only "the adults" use it. _I guess I'm an adult now since I'm allowed to sit on it. I just wish I had all those memories that made me an adult. He looked at the piano in the far corner filled with more pictures._ Walking over to the piano, he picked up a picture of his mother with a much younger man. They were smiling at the camera. "Where's Tucker?"

 

His mother tried to hide her surprise at the question, but inwardly rejoiced at this question. Tucker had come into her life several years after the prom, shortly before the bombing of Babylon. Did Justin make that huge leap in this short time? "He's at a teacher conference in Philly. He'll be back on Thursday."

 

Justin walked around the bottom floor of the condo, pulling open cabinets, drawers and looking at Knick Knacks on several shelves. He saw men's vitamins, a man's sweater on the coat rack and several bottles of Fat Tyre in the cupboard. "How long have you been together?"

 

"Almost 4 years."

 

Justin returned to the couch, putting his head in his hands and sighing loudly. "Shit! How am I ever supposed to remember all this? At least I seem to recognize the players in this bizarre game of _Justin's_ life. I'm going to bed, maybe when I wake up this will all be just a bad dream and I'll remember everything."

 

"Okay, sweetheart." Jennifer leaned over and gave him a hug and kissed his forehead.

 

Justin stood up to ascend the stairs for a second time that day. "Mom...." He stopped after walking three stairs and turned around to look at Jennifer staring at the piano. "Can I ask you a question?"

 

Jennifer turned to look at Justin. "Sure. What do you want to know?"

 

"I know you won't fill in the last six years, but can you at least tell me if I was happy? Did I like my life? Will you tell me that much?"

 

Jennifer hated seeing the uncertainty on Justin's face. He wanted reassurance that if he remembered, it would be a life that he was at least enjoying. "Yes, Justin, you liked your life. You were happy and I'm sure you will be happy again." Walking to Justin as he stood on the stairs, she gave him a hug, thankful that he was alive and not in a coma like the last time he was injured. She hated seeing his pain and as all mothers in the world, wished she could magically make it go away. "Sleep well sweetheart, and I'll see you in the morning." 

 

Returning to the main floor, she turned off the lights in the kitchen, checked that the doors were locked and then followed Justin up the stairs to her bedroom.

 

Looking in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, there was nothing familiar or vaguely familiar about this situation. _I'm not even sure if I've ever lived here. Mom showed me a room and said it was mine, but the room didn't look like anyone lived there; it was more like a guest room. I was in New York so that makes sense that I wouldn't live here._ But.... " Justin spit out the toothpaste and slammed down his hand on the sink. "FUCK... FUCK, FUCK!!!"

 

Startled by the sudden noise, Jennifer raced to Justin's room, hoping to find the room intact, not being destroyed by an angry young man. She remembered how frightened she had been to find Justin throwing his possessions at the walls and on the ground when she brought him home from the hospital after the bashing. She had realized then that she needed to bring him to Brian in hopes that he could help him. This time was different. Brian would gladly take Justin in, but as a result of the memory loss, it was not a good idea. "Justin, are you okay?" Jennifer yelled through the door.

 

"Fuck!!!" he muttered quietly. "I'm fine, mom. You can go to bed, I'll be okay... hopefully." He lowered his voice for that last word. He winced at the pain in his hand and decided sleep would be good. He at least didn't have to think while he was sleeping. His mother had put out the pills the doctor's had provided in the bathroom and had told him earlier that a sleeping pill had been prescribed if he wanted to use it. He'd been adamant earlier that he didn't need "a fucking sleeping pill", but now thought it might be a good idea. He read the label and took one pill as directed. 

 

After shutting off the light, he walked to his room where he started to get undressed. He was down to his underwear and begun to take them off, but stopped when he got them half way down. _Do I sleep in the nude? It seems weird to sleep in my underwear, but even stranger to sleep in my shorts._ He settled on keeping his shorts on and climbed into bed. Closing his eyes, he fell quickly asleep.

_Bjbjbjbjbjbjbjbj_

Brian left Jennifer's house and drove toward Daphne's apartment. According to the clock on the dashboard, it was only 10:00 and she should still be up. Hitting the blue tooth on his steering wheel, he directed the car phone to call Daphne.

"Oh, hi Brian." She answered after the first two rings, surprised to hear from him again tonight. "Is Justin still with you? I thought you were taking him to Jennifer's?" 

"He's at Jennifer's." 

She was gonna ask if he was okay, but there's no way he'd be calling her if he was. And given the situation... "Why don't you swing by? I'll be up for another couple of hours. We can brainstorm operation memory." 

Brian toyed with turning the car around and drinking himself into oblivion but he knew that route wouldn't help his situation. Silently he cursed himself for making the call to Daphne, knowing that she would pick up on his need to talk about Justin. _Shit I am so fucking screwed. When did I turn into a cwazy wesbian? She knows me almost as well as Justin does._ Walking toward her apartment, he felt a sense of déjà vu, but this time he was alone, unfortunately, very alone. 

__

__Knocking on the door, he questioned again if this was a good idea, but decided that Daphne was the most appropriate person for this conversation; after all, she'd been there when it happened, when everything had happened, all the ups and downs. Before he could turn away, she opened the door and beckoned him in._ _

__

__She'd poured a glass of Beam for him and gave it to him as he settled himself on her green velvet couch. _Leave it to Daphne to have a green velvet couch. He remembered teasing her and Justin when they picked it out, but it really was very comfortable, not that he would ever admit to it. They had just come back from one of their all day shopping extravaganza's; buying all sorts of shit from Pier I and Ikea but they both oohed and ahhed over their "bargains" while he inwardly wondered how this man could be such a talented artist but such a poor consumer of material goods. He'd teased him about his "lack of decorating skill" but they had begun a tickle fest with him as the prime victim and he soon called a truce. They had gone out for ice cream and then he and Justin had returned to the loft where they enjoyed an evening of fucking. ___A small smile came to his lips as he remembered that day and evening, one of many wonderful memories that his partner could no longer enjoy and then he frowned at the current situation._ _

___ _

___Daphne watched Brian as he alternately smiled and frowned in a matter of minutes and guessed that he was remembering things from his and Justin's past. "It's a good thing Tom isn't here. He might be jealous of Brian Kinney visiting me twice in one evening," she said deciding that levity would probably go over better than solicitation, after all this was still Brian ‘fucking" Kinney she was talking to._ _ _

___ _

___Brian smiled at her attempt and raised his glass of Beam, downing it in one swallow and handing it to her to refill. "Justin was asking why I wasn't at the fucking hospital after the Prom," he said, ripping the wound wide open rather than skirt over useless words._ _ _

___ _

___"And what did you tell him?" Daphne asked as she saw the unspoken pain in Brian's words._ _ _

___ _

___"Nothing. Jennifer interrupted us and I left. Fuck Daphne! I'm here this time."_ _ _

___ _

___Daphne nodded and refilled his glass of Beam a third time, keeping silent count._ _ _

___ _

___"I did go, but I don't think he knows that - or this Justin doesn't know that. Shit! It was hard enough when old Justin found out; he was furious with me but by that time, we were in a good place and he understood me pretty well so he just accepted that I was a major fuck up back then and we really didn't discuss it. New Justin doesn't really know me - now or then - and he's asking why I didn't come. I can't tell him."_ _ _

___ _

___Brian answered in a truly sarcastic manner, "Oh well you see I was a chicken shit coward and couldn't admit I cared for you. Oh and let's not forget that Mother Taylor didn't want to see my face as she blamed me for your injuries. And I decided that you were better off without me - and were too young and couldn't possibly know your mind so I just had to let you heal and stay away." Brian stood up and walked to the picture Justin was viewing earlier. Picking it up he fingered Justin's outline and left his finger on the space on his head where Justin was hit with the baseball bat._ _ _

___ _

___After a few moments he put the picture down and turned toward Daphne. "How can I explain to Justin who I was then when he doesn't know who I am now? I don't want to scare him away. He's not very sure of my place in his life and I can't explain what we are now." Brian hit his hand against the wall by the kitchen. "FUCK! SHIT! THIS IS JUST FUCKING CRAZY!" Brian turned his back and slid down the wall, feet on the floor, knees pointed to the ceiling. He laid his head down between his knees, as he attempted to hide the tears that were falling down his cheeks._ _ _

___ _

___Daphne's heart went out to Brian. She loved Brian; he was as much a part of her life as Justin. He'd been there for her countless times and now it was her turn. Not that she was here due to an obligatory feeling, but because she wanted to help._ _ _

___ _

___She'd known Justin since kindergarten where they bonded over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They'd been the only kids who didn't want to trade their lunch that first day at school and it was an instant bond. They used to laugh at all the other kids when they wanted to trade lunches. By not trading their lunch, they had more time to play on the play ground, a much better use of lunch time than haggling over a stupid sandwich._ _ _

___ _

___She allowed Brian some solitude, going to the kitchen and putting their bowls and spoons back in the cabinet from earlier in the evening. She wiped down the kitchen counters where a few dribbles of ice cream had splattered and put her lunch box on the counter to get ready for her busy day tomorrow. She quietly listened to Brian in the living room and when she no longer heard the muffled sobs, she returned and slid down the wall, sitting next to him._ _ _

___ _

___As she waited for his acknowledgement of her presence, she tried to find an answer to his problem, but was as stumped as he was at this latest twist in their lives. How could honesty backfire? She would have never thought that changes in Brian's behavior (for the better) would ever be a cause for confusion and query. She was brought back to reality by Brian's quiet voice._ _ _

___ _

___"Sorry about that," he said as he wiped his eyes with her shirt._ _ _

___ _

___"No apologies, no regrets, Brian," she quoted him, using his famous words._ _ _

___ _

___She received an upturned eyebrow and a small smile for her efforts. "I've changed for the better. I can't tell Justin what an asshole I was and have any hope of him falling in love with me again."_ _ _

___ _

___"He fell hopelessly in love with you after your first night together. What makes you think that this time will be any different?" Daphne touched his arm and gave it a little squeeze._ _ _

___ _

___"Yep, he did. The little twat." He thought for a moment about that fact. Justin did fall for him, knowing then he was a complete asshole. Huh... maybe it could work again, honesty that is, not being an asshole again. Not only would that not work, but there's no way he could do that again, especially if - no when, he had to think when - Justin got his memories back. "I guess the truth is my only choice."_ _ _

___ _

___"There are always choices, Brian. Just look at this as a once in a lifetime opportunity to do it right the second time. Justin loves you, even if he doesn't remember that right now. You just have to be yourself. Don't change who you are now, but try to remember who you were then too." Daphne stretched her legs in front of her and leaned forward to stretch her back. "Want to go back to the couch? You old folks probably can't sit on the floor for a long time?"_ _ _

___ _

___Brian started to answer with a quick retort, but realized Daphne's desire to stop him from beating himself up both physically and mentally. "My clothes will have to go to the dry cleaners now; I'm sure they are so full of dust and who knows what else, they're starting to itch my skin."_ _ _

___ _

___"Right, Brian." Daphne got up and put out her hand for Brian to grab in order to pull himself to a standing position. "You're strong for a girl," he teased._ _ _

___ _

___"I've been taking self defense classes. Some of my clients could get violent as they relive their traumas." She walked to the kitchen to grab two waters, deciding that Brian didn't need any more liquor and he was too polite to refuse her offer. She knew if he wanted to drink, he could leave here and go to Babylon, Woody's or back to the Loft or even Britin, but she would not be responsible for adding to his liquor consumption. Besides, she figured their little tête à tête had sobered him more than any amount of food or water could._ _ _

___ _

___Brian brushed imaginary dirt from his pants and sat back on her velvet green couch. Twisting the water, he took two long drinks, almost emptying the bottle. He played with the paper, trying to find the corner so he could play with it. Playful comments aside, it was hard not to refocus on the reason he was here. "Truth," he stated, not sure where to go with that thought. "What is the truth?"_ _ _

___ _

___Daphne settled at the end of the couch and leaned toward Brian. "Everyone's truth is their interpretation. What is your truth?"_ _ _

___ _

___Brian looked at the water and drank the remainder of the bottle. "My truth then or my truth now?"_ _ _

___ _

___She was in therapist mode and knew she had to be careful. Therapy with friends was never a good idea, but she couldn't turn off the therapist in her just because Brian needed her. "The truth is truth."_ _ _

___ _

___"I couldn't admit to myself how I felt about Justin, so if you asked me, then, why I didn't go ...."_ _ _

___ _

___Daphne waited for Brian to continue but he just stared at the water bottle, attempting to take another sip from the empty bottle._ _ _

___ _

___"I was fucking scared to admit to myself that I cared for him. Me, Brian Kinney, caring about someone was absolutely ludicrous."_ _ _

___ _

___"You didn't go see him because you didn't want to show you cared?"_ _ _

___ _

___"Got it in one." Brian got up to grab another water and returned to the couch. Opening it, he again drank one long drink finishing a third of the bottle._ _ _

___ _

___"You say you didn't go because you couldn't admit you cared, but you did go, every night. Tell me a little more about that." Daphne encouraged as she made a triangle with her thumbs and forefingers._ _ _

___ _

___They both recognized the therapist in her at that comment. Daphne wanted to take it back, but this was Brian, talking about Justin. No matter how it sounded, she needed to ask. Brian didn't even think of complaining, he couldn't think of a better person to play therapist with than with an actual therapist who happened to be Justin's (and his, in a way, since he's being honest) best friend._ _ _

___ _

___"If I went at night, no one would know that I was there. I wouldn't have to explain my presence and I could watch his progress. It was the perfect solution- be there, but don't let anyone know." Brian looked at Daphne for any judgment but knew she wouldn't show any emotion._ _ _

___ _

___"Your secret was safe. No one would know that you cared and "Brian Kinney" would never show he cared."_ _ _

___ _

___Brian nodded."But she found out."_ _ _

___ _

___"She?" Daphne asked, knowing it was Jennifer._ _ _

___ _

___"Jennifer. The nurses told her I was there, but she still told me to stay away. She blamed me for the bashing." Brian tightened his fist and pounded his leg. The pain of his leg still less than the pain in his heart._ _ _

___ _

___"And that ruined your plan."_ _ _

___ _

___"She didn't want me around him. I couldn't watch his progress. It killed me to go away, but if I balked then everyone would know I cared." Brian remembered the afternoon when he played catch with Justin in Jennifer's yard. She sent Justin inside and asked to talk to him. He didn't argue, just went back to his car like a child who'd been punished. It was a memory that stayed in his brain and unfortunately it had not lessened in intensity through the years._ _ _

___ _

___"And the truth now is different than it was then?" Daphne asked as she watched his reaction._ _ _

___ _

___Brian shook his head, no and said, "No. I still care for him. But now I tell him I care." Brian mouth upturned a little as he remembered the last time he told Justin how he felt and the resulting blow job he'd received._ _ _

___ _

___"It's not that you didn't care then, but that you didn't want anyone to know you cared."_ _ _

___ _

___"Right. He knows how much I care now, but how can I answer his questions about before when he doesn't know me/us now?"_ _ _

___ _

___"You're afraid what he'll think?"_ _ _

___ _

___"He doesn't remember. I have to make sure that he trusts me." There had been periods in their relationship when trust was a huge issue. After the bashing, Justin didn't recognize Brian's feelings and actions and that did terrible damage to their relationship. When he first asked Justin to marry him, he had turned him down, thought it was because of the bombing. He didn't want Justin to think he cared just because he was in a car accident._ _ _

___ _

___"Trusting you is important."_ _ _

___ _

___Brian fidgeted in his seat. He'd long ago finished his second bottle of water, but didn't want another. He wanted a cigarette, or wanted to have something to occupy his fingers and mouth, besides words. He crossed and uncrossed his legs and cracked his neck by rolling it around. Revisiting this short conversation, he rewound the answers in his head. He sounded like a fucking 10 year old. _I have this big secret that I don't want to share, because if you find out you might not like me. But see, you're my best friend and I don't want to lose you so I have to tell this big secret and I'm afraid you won't be my friend anymore. Blah Blah Blah. I really am emotionally stunted. _____ _

____ _ _

____"Okay. I get it. I have to tell him that I was an asshole but that was then and this is now and I'm not that same asshole anymore."_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"I can't tell you what to do Brian; that is your choice. But I will tell you that no matter what's going on now, no matter what you can or can't say, no matter how you think Justin might react, this is still Justin and he may have a drama princess moment." Both chuckled silently at that, because he would, they knew it. "But he will feel that you care, he'll be able to connect the Brian he sees now with the Brian he thinks he knows." Daphne stated this softly as she inwardly did the happy dance with her feet. Brian had finally grown up enough to admit he made mistakes._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"But he'll think I'm an asshole." This sounded repetitive to his ears, but it was still a thought that bothered him. He didn't care if he was an asshole, but he didn't want this new Justin to think he was still an asshole._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Daphne decided that "therapist" Daphne could return to her slot in her brain and friend Daphne could return to the conversation._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Correction- You were an asshole- and sometimes you still are- but where Justin is concerned- ‘he was always on to you'. He saw through the Brian Kinney bullshit. I can't tell you how many times he told me ‘He sooooo lovesss me.' Admit it, Brian you love him." She said this playfully, but secretly wished he actually would admit this, she'd always wanted to hear him admit it, even if she knew it._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Love is for heteros and Lesbians and last time I checked I do not fit into either of those categories."_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Daphne shook her head in exasperation. "Men. And yes you may be gay, but you are still male. Last time I heard; you had a cock!"_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Brian laughed. "Yes, I have a cock and unfortunately it may be awhile till I get to use it. I guess my right hand will be getting a good workout for a while."_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"There's always Babylon or Woody's and Justin says the baths are always an interesting diversion." She play hit him on the shoulder, relishing the playfulness of her friend._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Well...." Brian answered, not willing to divulge more intimate information to Justin's fag hag. He hoped that soon he would find Justin in his bed where he belonged._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Daphne yawned, and gave her friend a hug. "You okay?"_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"No. But Justin isn't in the hospital and he's safe. I'll have to settle for that for now."_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"So... you're going to talk to him? About the prom?"_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Yeah. I guess. Thanks."_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Operation memory will be successful. I know it will be Brian. Go home and get some sleep. Justin needs you, whether he knows it or not."_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Brian smiled as he walked to his car. He'd figured out what to tell Justin about the Prom. Now he just had another 6 years of bad decisions to work through._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____ _ _

____TBC._ _ _ _


	12. The Memories Continue

Entering the loft, Brian saw his suitcase sitting by the door. "Fuck!!! ," he said as he was hit again with the enormity of the events from the weekend, trying not to hit the stupid suitcase. The old Brian would have picked it up and thrown in as hard as possible across the room, but the new Brian could deal with emotions better. At least that's what he was telling himself, not to mention it was a Prada suitcase. Picking up the suitcase, he dropped it on the bed and quickly hung up his suit and put the clothes in the drawer. Taking his toiletry bag to the bathroom, he put it in its place as well, thankful that he had a separate kit for travel and didn't have to unload the entire bag each time he traveled. He'd been going to New York to meet up with Justin every 3-4 weeks and had decided packing and repacking a kit each time was too much trouble. Justin would tease him that he was such a beauty queen and had to have "his products" all the time.

 

Exhaustion hit as the adrenaline dissipated from his body. He took a quick shower and got ready for bed. Laying there for hour with no sign of his mind shutting down, he got up, found an Ambien and hoped that it would work quickly.

 

The jarring ring from his cell phone woke him the next morning. 

 

"Kinney."

 

"Too much partying while in New York? It's nice to see you visiting Justin. I called your office and Cynthia said you weren't in yet."

 

"What the fuck do you want, Lindsey?" he squinted at the clock, seeing that it was going on 8:15.

 

"Mel and I have a last minute meeting at the GLC tonight and I was hoping you could watch Gus," Lindsay said with ease, knowing that he rarely turned them down when it came to seeing his son.

 

"I bet Justin would like to see Gus. What time should I pick him up?"

 

"I didn't know Justin came back with you."

 

Brian sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes at the bright sunlight intrusion. "He was in a car accident over the weekend."

 

"Oh my god, Brian. I'm so sorry. How's he doing? Is he okay?"

 

Brian got out of bed, moving to the curtains and closing them to block the bright light. "No. He got banged up a little, but the reason he's here is he has fucking amnesia."

 

"Amnesia... how awful. What does he remember?"

 

"Not a lot. His last apparent memory is the Prom and immediately after."

 

"Oh, wow, that's..." Lindsay wasn't sure what to say at that point. A number of emotions appeared, some expected and sympathetic, and some maybe not so much. "We can find other arrangements for Gus. Don't worry about it." Lindsay said quickly.

 

"No. I think bringing Gus with me to see Justin is perfect. He saw the picture in the guest bedroom at Jennifer's and figured out that the little boy was Gus. Seeing him might trigger some memories."

 

Lindsay blew some hair out of her eyes as she listened to Brian. "Bring him to see Justin? He's not at the Loft?"

 

Brian was already tiring of the conversation and not looking forward to having it numerous times today as word passed through the family. "No. He doesn't remember that we're together. He's staying with Mother Taylor's at the moment." Brian got out of bed and pulled the duvet toward his pillow. He carried the phone toward the bathroom. "Looks, Linds, unless you want to hear me take a piss I suggest we end this conversation. I'll pick him up at 5:00 and if plans change, I'll let you know."

 

"Briannnnn..."

 

"Good bye Lindsay." Brian said as he hung up the phone. There was no way he was willing to talk about where she probably would go, especially with her. _She may be Lesbian but still the thought of me pissing is not a vision she wants to have._

 

He had to meet Leo Brown in an hour and then head toward Jennifer's. Thankfully Leo was meeting him at the office.

 

After the meeting he called Ted and Cynthia into his office. "Ted, you and Cynthia will have to hold down the fort for a while. I'm sure you know about Justin and he's got to be my priority. Call me if you absolutely need something; otherwise I'm on vacation. Any questions?"

 

Both looked at each other and then at Brian, but Ted spoke first, "Do you think he'll be okay?"

 

"How the hell should I know? I'm not a fucking doctor!"

 

"Would it be okay to come visit? I haven't see Justin in several months," Cynthia asked. She was always fond of Justin and appreciated that Brian was a more pleasant person when he was around. She knew this latest development would leave her boss in a surly mood.

 

Brian thought about his conversation with the doctor and his suggestion about letting Justin be around familiar things/people. "Good idea. I'm bringing Gus tonight to visit him, why don't you plan on coming by tomorrow."

 

"Sure thing, boss." Cynthia leaned toward Brian and gave him a peck on the cheek. In the past, he would have been annoyed at the sign of affection but he ignored the sentiment. Cynthia and Ted were his most trusted friends and business associates and he accepted their place in his life. "We've got things covered here. Go, say hi to Justin for us."

 

Brian drove home and changed into jeans and a button down shirt before leaving for Jennifer's. As he drove he silently hoped that maybe Justin's memory would have miraculously returned while he slept, but he knew that in Brian Kinney's fucked up world, nothing would be that easy.

 

Brian knocked on Jennifer Taylor's door and Justin answered. "Brian..."

 

"Morning Sunshine. May I come in?" Brian asked when Justin just stood there not waving him in.

 

Justin smiled sheepishly, "Oh sure. Sorry." 

 

"Hi Brian. I wasn't expecting you till later. I thought you had a meeting this morning," Jennifer said as she wiped her hands on a dishtowel. "I was just making Justin some scrambled eggs. Can I get you anything?"

 

"No, I ate at the diner."

 

"Okay."

 

Brian sat down at the kitchen table and picked up the newspaper. He picked out the business section and begun reading the first news article. Justin watched him for a few moments and started to question him but was interrupted by Jennifer bringing his plate to the table. 

 

"I've got to leave in a few minutes. Do you need anything? I should be home by 4:00."

 

Justin glared at his mom. "I don't need a fucking babysitter. I'm fine!"

 

"Stop queening, Justin. It's too fucking early for that and I've already got a headache. Go, Jennifer. We'll be just fine."

 

Justin ate his food in silence as he watched his mom leave and Brian read the newspaper. "Since I do not appear to have a say so in my guardians for the day, what are we going to do all day long?" 

 

It was going to be a long day. "What do you want to do?" Brian tried to keep his slight irritation from becoming a major headache.

 

"I don't know what I want to do but I don't want to stay here."

 

"Okay. We'll go for a drive."

 

Justin smiled at Brian, surprised at his willingness to go somewhere. He locked the door behind them and then walked to Brian's Audi. "Where we going?"

 

"Where do you want to go?" Brian hated this back and forth question and answer, feeling like he was dealing with Gus rather than his partner, but he didn't want to give Justin too much information and overwhelm him. He remembered Gus' birthday party when Justin remembered the Prom the first time. He'd almost collapsed in Brian's arms when the memories hit. He figured nice and slow was the best solution; albeit not the one his body longed for. He wanted Justin in his arms sooner rather than later, but he would wait.

 

"Let's go see Michael. Does he still have the comic book store?" Justin hoped his memory of Michael was correct.

 

"Yeah. He still owns the comic book store. That's a great idea. We can go see Mikey."

 

They drove in silence for a short while, but Justin wanted more. "Brian, why are you here? I mean I kinda figured out that things are different. We were talking last night about the hospital and why you didn't come. You said yesterday something like ‘I'm here now.'"

 

Brian saw a Big Q in the next block and pulled his car into the lot.

 

"Did Michael move the comic store?" Justin asked as he looked around the unfamiliar area.

 

"No, twat. Michael did not move the comic store. It's on Liberty Avenue where it's always been. I'm just not going to have this conversation while I'm driving."

 

Justin watched as Brian turned off the car, but did not immediately turn toward him. Brian took several deep breaths and remembered the conversation he and Daphne had last night. This time I'm going to do it right. "Justin, what do you remember about that time?"

 

"Chris Hobbes hit me with a bat and then I was in the hospital for a long time. I kept wishing you would come see me, but you never did and then I remember getting out of the hospital, and getting Daphne to take me to your place."

 

Ripping the band-aid off worked last night; therefore he decided he should try the method again. "Justin...."

 

"Shit Brian! I may have amnesia but I'm not stupid. Obviously you and I are friends in the future- or now or whatever the fuck you call this." Justin waved his hand between them. "Just fucking tell me why you never came to see me when I was in the hospital. It's really not rocket science. It's a simple question."

 

"If you'd stop asking fucking questions that would help." He took a deep breath. Brian looked at Justin and saw the hurt and trepidation in his face and knew he screwed up yet again. "Sorry... I know this is hard."

 

Hearing the words, ‘I'm sorry' from Brian made Justin look at Brian, ensuring that he hadn't entered into an alternate universe. "Did you... did you just apologize?"

 

Frowning at the question, Brian remembered how he was toward Justin, actually the whole gang six years ago and his remorse was real. "Yes I apologized, now can I say what I was going to say?"

 

Nodding slightly, Justin looked at Brian and hoped the conversation would provide a little more clarity to his current situation. Regardless, Brian was sharing events from the past and that could fill in some holes in his memory.

 

"Things were different back then; I was different, Justin. It's complicated."

 

"Brian, my memories may be a little fuzzy about the last six years, but evidently you and I are still friends or maybe more - since you are here. So just - Shit! Please tell me." Clearly he could only hold his tongue for so long, especially when Brian still hadn't technically explained anything.

 

"I was a jerk back then- probably still am- but yeah- you're right I'm still here."

 

"Briannnn...." Justin tried not to whine, or beg, or something to get Brian to just say whatever he clearly wanted to say. His lips were tight and he could feel his hand cramping at the strain of his emotions.

 

"I was there- every night-." Brian winced at the words. Remembering that dark time in his life was something he avoided at all costs, but it was important now to remember and be truthful. Brian Kinney was always truthful, even when it cost him things he cherished. He hoped this conversation as well as future ones in the coming weeks wouldn't cost him Justin as he could not imagine his life without him.

 

Justin racked his damaged brain hoping to push a forgotten memory to the forefront, but failed to see any visions of Brian there. "You were there? I don't remember."

 

"You don't remember because you didn't find out till a few years ago and by then it didn't matter, water under the bridge. By the way, you were furious then too." Brian picked up Justin's cramping hand and began his usual gentle massage. 

 

"Since my current memories stop at the prom, I don't remember -even though it happened- but I do remember later and that is why I don't know it now?"

 

Brian laughed at the convoluted conversation they were having - then and now, like there were two separate time lines - a bad science fiction movie if there ever was one. Unfortunately, this was not science fiction; this was as real as it could get and he had dangerous waters to tread, now and in the future.

 

"Yeah, something like that. As I said, Justin, I was a jerk back then - I needed to know you were okay, but I thought you were better off without me and I couldn't do a damn thing to help you. Plus..." this was the hard part to say, "I cared, but I didn't want anyone knowing I cared. Staying away was the only option in my book." Brian felt the cramp dissipate, but he continued to hold Justin's hand. He missed feeling his partner's body and while this was not the feel he longed for, he relished what he could get. "I still care for you, but now everybody knows; it's no secret."

 

"You have changed."

 

"Yeah."

 

"Okay. Answer me one more thing, then. Are you here because you want to be or because you think you should be?"

 

"I want to be here, Justin."

 

Justin nodded his head and smiled a tentative smile. He was still trying to piece together the new version of Brian Kinney, but he seemed to find this one a little more to his liking than the one he appeared to remember from 6 years ago. "Okay. Let's go see Michael."

 

TBC


	13. Missing My Partner

Brian parked the car in front of Michael's store and walked to the passenger side door. The street was quiet since it was very early in the morning and Liberty Avenue didn't really start to wake up before 3:00. He often wondered why Michael didn't wait to open the shop till 2:00, but he knew there was always inventory to unpack and other duties that couldn't be completed when the clientele started coming into the shop. Michael seemed content and the shop was making money, especially with Rage figures and specialty items. 

 

As they walked to the door, Justin looked at the life size Rage cutout in the front window. Justin immediately saw the resemblance between Brian and the cut out and then a flood of memories hit him. Brian was Rage. He saw himself and Michael working on drawings in Brian's loft and then saw the two of them in bed, exhaustion finally winning over their need for sleep. He remembered the Rage Party where he and Michael were the guests of honor, but then he saw Brian fucking a guy, his Rage mask firmly in place. He saw himself as he walked out of Babylon with another guy.

 

Stopping short, he looked at Brian. "That's Rage? You're Rage?"

 

"Got it in one," Brian said flippantly, looking at Justin for more memories to come back, he cautiously waited for his reaction.

 

A frown developed on Justin's mouth as he said, "Ethan." Justin saw Brian wince at the fiddler's name; he knew he was remembering events of the past. Visions of a small apartment with few furnishings and Ethan playing the violin ran through Justin's mind. "I lived with him?" he asked as he saw his sketch pad and pencils on a bed in the middle of a room.

 

"Justin...." Brian started to answer.

 

Eyeing a bench on the side of the street, Justin walked to it and sat down, putting his head in his hands. Making his way to Justin, Brian sat down next to his partner and stroked his back with his hand. 

 

"You're here." Justin said as both a statement and a question.

 

"Yes."

"You wouldn't talk to me. I wanted to talk about the bashing and my feelings?"

Justin sat up and looked at Brian, seeing the pain in his eyes at Justin's questions. "You fucked Rage and I left?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Brian, did we ever talk about that time?"

 

"Not really, other than to tell you that you were never to play violin music in my presence."

 

"I was never to play violin music in your presence," Justin said in unison with Brian.

 

Brian smiled for the first time this morning as Justin remembered the quote from their reunion.

 

"Can we talk now?"

 

The smiled quickly faded to a slight grimace. Before he could sensor his words, he said, "Do we really need to talk about all that shit now?"

 

Justin bristled at Brian's angry words, especially after their talk this morning. He was hurt by the obvious anger. Needing to get away from the situation he turned and started running toward the next block. Brian watched as he quickly ran out of steam a few minutes later. _Damn, things have really changed. I'm going to go get him._ Brian walked toward Justin who had stopped and found another bench to sit on as he caught his breath.

Some things don't change. You still don't like it when things don't go your way," Brian said as he watched Justin heave as his chest tried to draw in the necessary air from his jaunt. 

Waiting till his breath was more even, Justin continued to look at the ground instead of directing his comments toward Brian. "Brian. Obviously we have a long history and the fact that you're still here means something. The Brian Kinney I knew after Prom was a pompous ass at times and never did anything he didn't want to do and never broke his promise. Are you still that Brian Kinney or has that changed too?" Justin turned toward Brian as he sat next to him, acting as if his recent behavior was nothing to address. 

"Still the same asshole. Ask anyone. I'm still a cruel heartless bastard, except when it comes to you and Gus." Brian said and then regretted his words immediately as he acknowledged Justin's importance in his life; but fuck, it was killing him not to tell Justin something of what they actually did mean to each other now. 

"So, I'm important to you?" 

"Yeah. Very." Brian said as he smiled. 

Seeing the smile, Justin thought about his earlier memory. "That's why you're still here?" Justin asked and hoped that Brian would give him this piece of the puzzle. Justin reached out to touch Brian's hand, the first time he'd done that since his accident and found the touch comforting. 

The electricity from his lover's touch was not lost on Brian and his body craved more, but he wasn't going to push the reunion. There had always been a physical reaction between the two men and he was slightly surprised that he was able to tamper the connection and not throw his lover on the nearest surface to fuck him to the wall.

Brian hated all this talk, but he'd told Daphne that he'd do whatever it took; therefore he answered Justin, not diverting the question with his usual answer, a kiss or quick fuck. "Yes. Got it in one. Told you that you were smart." 

_I'm important to Brian and he cares for me_ "When did I stop seeing Ethan?" 

"What do you remember?" Brian would have been willing to spend the entire day bringing Justin up to speed, but he didn't think that was a good idea. He caressed Justin's hand and then massaged it some more.

"I don't remember," Justin said after a few moments of thinking. He was enjoying Brian's touch, realizing that his hand was starting to uncramp. 

Brian rejoiced at the words. _Justin didn't remember the fiddlefuck. There were some advantages to this amnesia thing after all._ Before he could really absorb the thought, Justin continued his relentless questioning.

"I know I'm not with him anymore. Brian, will you answer one question for me?" Justin asked, hoping Brian would be his honest self. 

__Brian hesitated before he answered. _What if he asks about us? What should I tell him? Should I be truthful? He appears to trust me, but will answering him about our relationship harm him? Fuck! Justin why the hell were you in that restaurant dancing for fucking birthday parties? If you had been where you were supposed to be this would not have happened. He's going to figure it out sooner or later- the gang is going to say something and he's a smart fucker. I better be the one to answer him. Doesn't change the fact that his memories are gone, but maybe we can work on that together. I so wish that Justin came with an owner's manual._ __

"Yes. But Justin, think about the consequences. Do you really want to know the answer?" 

"I want to know so that I can move on with my life. Brian, I remember we fucked a lot when I was in high school and seeing the Rage cutout... I remember going to live with Ethan. I don't remember leaving him, but I know that I had to or you wouldn't be here. Am I right so far?"

Brian nodded his head, wishing he could use that as Justin's one question, but he knew he couldn't do that to him. 

"Brian did I go back to live with you after I left Ethan?" Justin asked, the hesitancy obvious.

"Not exactly. You went to live with Daphne, but we spent a lot of time together." Brian answered honestly. 

 

A silent tear ran down Justin's face as he looked at Brian. "It's like you're telling me a story about someone else. Thank you for giving me an honest answer; I just wish I could remember." 

Brian felt for Justin. Having the information was only half the battle; he needed to remember so he could have the feelings that were associated with the events.

"Give it time. You're remembering a lot more than a few days ago." Justin looked eagerly at Brian, smiling a little at his attempt to comfort him. "It appears that I have all the time in the world. Is there somewhere I need to be?" 

"No. Let's go see Mikey. I think he caught a glimpse of you running in front of his shop. He's probably thinking you're mad at him." Brian teased, hoping to spark a memory for Justin, but Justin just smiled.

Brian stood up from the park bench and pulled Justin's arm to help him to a stand. They walked toward the Comic shop; one hoping that the shop would bring back memories and the other fearing the memories that might be trigged.

The bell jingled as the door opened and Michael came out from the back area. Walking up to Justin, he reached out to hug him and Justin allowed the hug but did not embrace him fully. "Justin, do you know who I am?" Michael asked at the cool greeting.  
__  
_  
_"Sure. Ask Brian. I told him I didn't want to stay inside all day and asked if you still had your comic shop."__

"So you remember the shop?" Michael asked as he swung his arm in an arc to encompass the store.  


Justin's eyes flitted over the small shop, looking for familiar objects but didn't recognize anything but the front display case. "Sorry. Not really. I saw the cut out of Rage in the window though. That's cool. Did we write more than one issue?" 

"Yeah. We've been putting out one issue every two months since you moved to New York," Michael answered eagerly.

Leaning against the glass display case he swallowed hard at the information. "So we have how many?" 

"You've been gone three years so about 18 issues. Isn't that right, Brian? The last issue about the go-go dancer sold really well." Michael beamed at Justin, proud of what they had accomplished in a short period of time.

Looking for the nearest chair, Justin saw the stool behind the counter and made an immediate beeline for it. _Michael just told me that I live in New York. What the fuck? Why would I live in New York if Brian and I are a couple? This makes no sense._

"I've lived in New York for three years. I don't remember, " Justin said, hoping that his words would trigger a memory for him, but disappointed when they didn't. 

_____ "After the prom, Daphne told me all about the dance and Brian dancing with me but it took a really long time before I remembered the events. I remember you taking me to the garage and even trying to play that stupid song in your Loft...." Justin was quiet as he saw them in the Loft. _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Looking at Brian, he said, "You tried to help me remember. You have that same look in your eyes this time. You're sad that I don't remember. I'm sorry." Justin looked down on the floor, not wanting to see the hurt in Brian's eyes. "Brian can you take me home? I have a headache and I want to take some medicine."_ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____Brian was furious with Michael for mentioning New York and he'd forgotten the go-go dancer in the last issue. Rage usually mirrored parts of his and Justin's life and he mentally kicked himself that he didn't see signs before he came to New York. He could have confronted Justin about his dancing and they would have avoided this whole debacle. "Sure. You've had a lot of stuff thrown at you this morning." Turning toward Michael, Brian started to say something but changed his mind. He wasn't in the mood to have another discussion; he'd had too many and it wasn't even noon._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____They walked to the car and Justin looked at Liberty Avenue, taking in the sights and sounds that were unique to the area. Small street vendors were setting up their kiosks and he stopped to look at one where jewelry was sold. Eyeing a small bracelet, he looked at his wrist, expecting it to be there, but was surprised when it wasn't._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____"Lose something?" Brian asked as he watched Justin._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____"I don't think so. I remember these bracelets that Daphne and I bought. They were friendship bracelets and we picked them up at this kiosk." He looked around and saw the intersection behind the stall. "That's where I met Mel and Linds the second time. They'd been shopping and I offered to take their packages to their car. Then they took me home and I drew Lindsey and Gus." Justin listened to his words ‘I drew Lindsey and Gus' and something niggled at his brain, but it was just a little too far to grasp._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____"I remember that day. I came over to see Gus and there you were drawing in their living room. Lindsay told you what a great talent you had and encouraged you to be in the GLC show." Brian realized what he said after the words came out. _And here I was worried about one of the gang letting stuff slip. Justin hasn't said a word about his art. Shit! _____ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Justin stopped short of stepping into the street. "My mom came to the show."_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"She did."_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Justin pinched his nose, the pain from his headache starting to throb. "I need to lay down."_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"Let's go." Brian lead Justin to the car and without thinking drove to the Loft. When they arrived, he looked at his partner, the pain obvious on his face. _Screw the docs. Maybe the Loft will spark some memories for him. ___"Come on, let's get you a drink and you can lie down. Did you bring any of your pills with you?"_ _ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _ _ _

_______"In my pocket. You always said I was a Boy Scout."_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _ _ _

_______Brian motioned for Justin to lie on the couch and he went to the kitchen to get him some water. Bringing the water back, he gave the glass to Justin and Justin took a pill. Closing his eyes, he welcomed the dark and quiet. His brain really did hurt. Brian grabbed a light blanket from the closet and draped it over Justin. Sitting on the chair he watched as Justin's chest moved up and down in an even pattern._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _ _ _

________I wish I could make it all go away for him; be his prince charming and kiss it away- like those silly story books that Gus reads. No wonder his head hurts; he's been pushing his memories all morning and trying to fit six years of living into 3 hours. My head would hurt too. He remembered sketching Gus and Lindsay- I wonder if that means he'll remember his art. It kills me to think he thought he was a damn waiter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I miss his touch. So close, in my Loft, but not in our bed. It lies empty, waiting for his alabaster skin to lie on the dark sheets as I caress, kiss, and then fuck him into tomorrow. His moans, grunts and demands as our bodies entwine with each other. The talks we have as we enjoy a post coital respite. Maybe when he awakens- maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, next month, whenever- I will wait. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________TBC________


	14. Reunion

Brian watched Justin sleep for awhile. Sleeping peacefully, he appeared to not have a care in the world. Wishing that were the truth, but knowing they had a long way to go, Brian was still thankful that Justin was physically unharmed. Justin was regaining his memories and Brian was ecstatic that Justin remembered the GLC show. Hoping that his memories of later shows and events would come as quickly and easily, Brian wondered if Justin would ask more pressing questions about their relationship.

 

Watching Justin sleep made Brian realize he too could use some sleep as he had not slept well since he went to New York. Walking to his bedroom, he kicked off his shoes and closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would grace him as easily as it did Justin. Soon he and Justin were both sleeping, albeit not together but at least closer than they had in the last several weeks.

 

Brian woke after an hour and it took a few moments to remember why he was sleeping in the middle of the day. Quickly he glanced at Justin who was still asleep on the couch. Brian used the restroom, splashing water on his face to wake up, before returning to the living area. 

 

Bjbjbbjbjbjb

 

The pain pill quickly took effect sending Justin into dream land. _I'm in a gallery and there are waiters serving champagne. Brian is beside me, but people are coming up to me to tell me how wonderful I am, how talented._

 

 

_I'm at another party and there are a lot of people. I look around and don't recognize anyone. I look around and there is no Brian. I'm alone. They keep coming up to me and telling me how excited they are about the movie. I smile and tell them I'm excited too and I feel lucky to be here._

 

_I'm in the Loft, but its empty, except the bed- the walls are bare and there is no furniture. Brian is here with me and he seems happy._

 

_I'm standing by a house with a gun down the front of my pants- there is a guy next to me, urging me to walk up to the house- I go and I confront Chris- put the gun in his mouth- Shit!_

 

 

_Brian and I are in bed, he's lying on top of me and I slip out from under him, wiping away the tears as I get dressed. I grab my duffle and quietly leave._

 

Justin moans and yells "why?" several times but as long as he's not screaming Brian leaves him. Brian recognizes the signs of a nightmare; he's seen them often enough, but Justin is just dreaming. Justin thrashes and flails and sits upright screaming when he is having a nightmare, but today he is just quietly asking questions. _I wish I knew what he was dreaming, but then again, if I knew I might not want to fill in the blanks. Hopefully the dreams are memories that will help him fill in the blanks._

 

Brian turns on his computer and logs into Kinnetik to check his mail. He responds to several requests from Cynthia and Ted, but thankfully that front is quiet. He is eternally grateful for both of them and their willingness to run his business. Hopefully the crisis will end soon and he can return to work, but Justin comes first. Justin comes first. _I never thought I would see the day when I would think it or even say it, but it's true. The blond twat is more important than 100 accounts at Kinnetic._

 

Brian sees Justin as he sits up on the couch and runs his hands over his face. Looking at him, he says, "Hi... feel better?"

 

Justin stretches his arms over his head and brings his legs to the floor. "My head still hurts, but its better." His stomach growls so loudly that Brian hears it from where he is sitting.

 

"And let me guess- you're starving," he teases as he walks over to Justin. 

 

Raising his eyebrows in semi guilty agreement, he asks, "The diner? I want a milkshake."

 

"Sure." Brian helps Justin up from the couch and as they come face to face, Brian gives Justin a caress on the cheek. Automatically Justin leans into the caress and brings his lips up to Brian's giving him a quick kiss. Brian looks at Justin, seeing the tentative unspoken question but chooses to ignore it for now.

 

Justin's stomach takes that moment to growl even louder than before and Brian backs up. "Guess we need to feed the beast." 

 

"Brian...."

 

He turned around and looked at Justin, hoping that Justin will ask him about their relationship. 

 

Justin hesitated. He wanted to talk to Brian about his dreams, but he wasn't sure. Brian had told him he would be truthful with him, but some of those dreams were pretty disturbing and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know the truth. Still, he was comfortable in the Loft and thought this was a good as place as any to spend the afternoon. "I've changed my mind. Can we order in? I don't feel like being around a lot of people." Justin said.

 

"Sure. What do you have in mind?"

 

"Pizza? It's before 7:00." Justin teased, remembering Brian's no carb rule.

 

"What did you say?"

 

"Pizza. It's before 7:00. You don't like to eat carbs after 7:00. You say it makes you fat," Justin said with confidence. "I'm right, aren't I? You do say that? I'm not imaging things?"

 

"Yes. I don't like to eat carbs after 7:00. What kind of pizza do you want? I really shouldn't ask. You always want the meat lovers pizza- heart attack on a plate- but I do appreciate your love of meat," he said with tongue in cheek.

 

Brian picked up his phone and ordered the pizza and returned to the living area. "It will be 40 minutes. Want to watch TV while we wait?" Brian grabbed the remote and started to push the button.

 

"Not really. I had some weird dreams. I think the events actually happened. They seemed very real."

 

Hoping that this would not be a second round of why did you?? Brian nodded his head for Justin to continue.

 

Justin looked around the Loft, seeing its fully furnished contents. "I dreamed the Loft was empty but you and I are, were here. You were smiling. But now I look around and the place isn't empty."

 

Brian nods his head, but doesn't explain. He doesn't want to confuse Justin.

 

"It's a real memory?"

 

Thinking back to that time, Brian remembers Stockwell and the killing. He also remembers that Justin stood by him when all the "gang" wouldn't believe that "it was only business". Justin always had his back. "Yes. It's a real memory. The loft was bare. Everything was taken away."

 

Closing his eyes, he pictured the dream sequence in his mind. Movers were taking Brian's stuff away, but Brian was calm. He wasn't ranting and raving. The name Stockwell came to mind. That sounded right. "Stockwell..."

 

Brian nodded yes again.

 

Justin walked to the 52 inch television. "You've replaced the 50" plasma TV," Justin said as this had some significance.

 

"I always knew you were a size queen."

 

"He caught us- on the floor?"

 

Shit. Its showtime. "Yes."

 

"That was after the prom? I wasn't living here though?"

 

"Right and right." _Come on Justin, just push a little further and figure this out. I need you in my arms and under me and inside me. I need to smell your unique scent, turpentine and honey shampoo, although I could do without the turpentine. But right now, I would love to smell turpentine as that would mean you remembered not only us but the Justin Taylor the rest of the world knows- the artist._

 

"Brian... "

 

The buzzer rang announcing the arrival of the pizza. Brian buzzed the delivery person up, gave him a tip and returned to the kitchen. Taking out two plates he put two pieces of pizza on each and got out two waters from the fridge. Justin sat on the bar stool and Brian did the same. 

 

Justin had pizza sauce on the side of his mouth and Brian could not resist wiping it off. Justin leaned in to Brian and used his tongue to swipe off a little sauce on the edge of Brian's mouth. Brian moaned at the action.

 

Justin got the reaction he wanted and reached out for Brian's hand pulling him off the stool. Walking to the bedroom, Justin sits on the bed and pats the place beside him. Turning toward Brian, he reaches out to kiss him again, but this time he opens his mouth, licking Brian's lips. Brian's tongue reaches out to meet Justin's and they dance. Brian quickly wraps his arms around Justin and they fall backward on the bed. Inhaling the scent of his partner, Brian breathes deeply. Tasting the pizza from earlier is just icing on the cake so to speak as he tastes Justin's essence. 

 

"Justin...."

 

They fumble with each other's clothing and soon have divested their shirts; their chests touching and inflaming each other's skin. Neither man wants to stop the joining, but Justin pulls away and looks toward Brian's crotch, eyeing the bulge that he felt as he was kissing Brian. He caresses the cock through the pants and starts to unbutton Brian's jeans; Brian eagerly rises up so Justin can pull them off. 

 

Pulling off his underwear at the same time, Brian's cock springs free and Justin bends down to worship it. Opening his mouth, he deep throats Brian and swirls his tongue over the shaft as he comes back up. Licking the sensitive head, he plays with the slit, enjoying Brian's moans of enjoyment. Using his hand, he fondles Brian's balls as he deep throats him again. Brian is lost in the moment, forgetting for a while the difficulties they have endured in the past and especially the last few days. His world consists of his dick and Justin's talented hand and tongue and mouth. 

 

Justin stops pleasuring Brian's cock and slides up Brian's body to kiss him again. Brian sighs at the loss of those luscious lips around his cock, but is consumed again by Justin's tongue exploring his mouth. Reaching down, he undoes Justin's pants and without breaking their kiss, Justin divests himself of his pants and underwear as well. The two men are naked, Justin lying on top of Brian as Brian pushes his cock against Justin's. They thrust and hump each other like horny teens.

 

Brian wants more and hopes Justin does too. Reaching for the lube and the condoms in the drawer, he stops his kiss and motions at the objects he has placed on the bed. Justin grins and returns to kissing Brian and moves down toward his cock again. Lying on his side as he licks and swirls, he feels Brian take his cock into his mouth as well. Justin loves to 69 with Brian. Both men have become expert at enjoying and giving pleasure without forfeit of either. 

 

Brian feels his balls tighten and the tingling feeling in his spine and lower back announce his impending orgasm. Placing his hand on Justin's chin he signals that he is coming, hoping that he will recognize the implication. Justin gives him one last lick and suck and removes his mouth as he uses his hands to bring Brian to finish. Ropes of cum shoot over Justin's fingers and he leans over to share them with Brian. Afterwards, Brian returns to Justin's cock and quickly finishes Justin as well. 

 

Neither man is sated and they quickly return to kissing as they wait for their erections to return. When Brian feels his cock grow to its full 9 inches, he grabs the condom and tears the wrapper off with his teeth. After placing it on his cock, he pushes Justin onto his stomach and Justin quickly gets on all fours eagerly awaiting Brian. Quickly preparing his partner with the lube, he breaches the first barrier and hears the most delightful sound from Justin's lips. Justin pushes back, signaling his readiness and Brian slowly eases in and out of the tight hole.

 

Both men enjoy the leisurely joining, but after Brian hits his prostate with each thrust, Justin pushes back to meet Brian's strokes. Brian reaches in front and grabs Justin's cock as he times each thrust with a pull. Quickly both men are moments away from completion. Brian speeds up and shoots into the condom and yells, "Justinnnnnn."

 

While Justin is voicing his own cry of, "Briannnnn."

 

Moments after shooting, Brian removes himself from Justin and lies on the bed, sated and happy. "That was hot."

 

"Yeah."

 

Brian reached for the cigarettes on the night stand and grabbed the lighter. Sitting up in bed, he lit a cigarette and enjoyed the smoke. Justin grabbed the cigarette and inhaled, but coughed as he hadn't smoked except for the other night in front of Daphne's.

 

They sat in relative silence. Brian not wanting to analyze what happened and Justin wanting just the opposite. 

 

"You're here because you want to be." Justin said the now familiar phrase out loud. Justin took Brian's free hand and squeezed it. A warmth came over Justin, Brian and him-

 

"Why?"

 

"Why what?" Brian thought of a thousand questions that Justin would want answered and 995 of them he really didn't want to answer.

 

"If you wanted me here, why didn't you bring me with you? Are we having some kind of argument? Are you mad at me?"

 

Brian inwardly sighed. These were two of the 995 questions he didn't want to answer as the answers were complicated. Yes, he was furious with Justin but that had nothing to do with why he did not take him home. 

 

"Justin.... I didn't bring you with me because you didn't remember."

 

"Remember the hot sex we have?"

 

Alarm bells rang in Brian's head. _Shit. He still doesn't remember us. He thinks, damn maybe he does remember._

 

"What do you remember, besides the hot sex?" Brian asked, hoping his instincts were wrong. He wanted Justin here by his side as he regained more of his memories. Although it wouldn't be so bad now since Justin initiated the sex, it wasn't like he was taking advantage of him. But this was not what he wanted. He wanted his partner back, wanted the man who knew that Brian Kinney cared.

 

Justin was quiet for a few moments. "I remember Stockwell. And in my dream, I saw us lying on the bed and me leaving quietly. We were naked, but then I left. I kissed you and I felt the tears as they fell down my cheek." Turning toward Brian he saw the anguish on his face. "Why did I leave, Brian? Did we have a fight? I don't think so since we were sleeping together. Can you please tell me?"

 

_The one question that I can't answer. Shit! How do I get out of this one? >/I> _

 

 

TBC


	15. Out of the Mouth of Babes

Brian stepped out of bed, walking to the bathroom and grabbed a wet cloth to clean the two men. Returning to the bed he carefully wiped Justin and then himself and returned the cloth to the bathroom. _Shit. That didn't take nearly as long as I'd hoped._

 

Looking at Brian, Justin eagerly is waiting for an answer. "Brian?"

 

"We didn't have an argument."

 

"Why did I leave and why was I crying?" Justin asked, happy to have another memory restored. "Did you push me off another Kinney cliff?"

 

Brian winced at Justin's words, the pain evident in his question. Justin always could twist the knife deeper than anyone, but that was because he actually cared what Justin thought of him. 

 

"No. I did not push you off another Kinney cliff." The minute he said those words, he realized the half truth in them. He had listened to Lindsay and he had encouraged Justin to go to New York to follow his artistic dream. But now, hindsight had him questioning if this really was a good choice. After all, he was obviously struggling with his finances or he would not have been stripping to make ends meet. He winced slightly as he said the words, knowing that he didn't push Justin away, just encouraged a difficult path that maybe wasn't as well thought out as it should have been.

 

"Was this a recent event?"

 

"Not really."

 

"How long ago did it happen?"

 

Brian was tired of playing 20 questions with Justin and he knew from the questions that Justin did not really remember the event, but rather it was a vague picture. "Justin. We agreed to not play 20 questions. It isn't going to help you remember any more. The memories will come when they come." Brian leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips.

 

"But, how can I remember if you won't tell me anything?" Justin pleaded and got out of bed to walk around the room. 

 

Brian ran his hand through his hair and sighed loudly. Sex was supposed to be the end all, be all, and solve all their problems. Obviously the powers that be weren't going to resolve the situation quickly. Brian patted the bed beside him and motioned for Justin to return to his place.

 

Eyeing Brian, Justin decided to join him. 

 

"Can I stay with you? I did at least figure out that we're together." Justin smiled a little, a mix of want and need.

 

Brian didn't answer him, but instead leaned over to kiss him, exploring his mouth with his tongue and rejoicing in the fact his partner was in bed with him again.

 

After the kiss, Justin said, "I guess that's a yes."

 

Brian didn't answer him just raised his eyebrows.

 

"So... I remember the Prom and Rage and Ethan and that we're together. I know you have a son, although I can't seem to picture him in my mind, just the pictures I saw at my mom's."

 

"Yep. You're memory is improving."

 

"I know you don't want to play 20 questions, but would you be willing to listen to some of the dreams I was having. I really think they are real; they were too vivid to just be dreams."

 

"Okay, but I'm not promising anything."

 

"I saw myself putting a gun in Chris Hobbs' mouth. Did I really do that?"

 

"Shit, Justin!" Brian sat up in bed and ran his hand through his hair several times before answering. "That damn Cody Bell!"

 

"So I really did that?" Justin asked incredulously.

 

"'I don't know if you did or not, but you probably did if you're seeing it in a dream. It's too fucked up not to be real." Brian frowned, making a large grimace on his face.

 

"You don't know?" Justin asked incredulously. He thought Brian had all the answers and was now slightly confused.

 

Brian sat back on the pillows, hating this discussion. He really didn't want to know everything that had happened in Justin's life. After all, a little mystery was always good for a relationship. Secretly he was happy that Justin might have actually done what he said. He knew he thought of doing something similar many times, especially when Justin was having a bad day and his hand was really cramping. "No. I don't."

 

"Weren't we together at the time?" Justin asked, trying to remember the missing pieces in his life.

 

Brian hated seeing Justin struggle with his memories and try to fit the pieces in his head into a coherent timeline. While he didn't want to play 20 questions with Justin, he didn't think retelling the events were in his best interest either . "My turn to ask you some questions. Tell me about your dream. What did you see?"

 

"I saw me and a guy walking the streets. We were harassing couples who were making out. I had a gun down my pants and we walked to Chris' house. The other guy is egging me on, telling me I want to do this. I go up to Chris just as he is getting out of his car. We're in his front yard. I tell him to kiss the gun. He does and then I tell him to open his mouth and I put it in there." Justin slows down as he is retelling the dream or memory. He starts to cry. "Did I really do this Brian? I can't believe I would stick a gun in Chris' mouth. I hate him but...."

 

Brian gathers Justin in his arms, gently rubbing circles on his back as he cries. They are together like that for a period of time until Justin's tears slow down. As the tears end, Brian tilts his face upwards and gently kisses him. "I'm here," he whispers in his ear. 

 

"You know this memory thing may not be all it's cracked up to be; especially if I'm going to remember crap like that. I think some memories might be better off buried."

 

"Yeah, unfortunately there's no changing what memories come and what don't."

 

"God, this sucks. All these memories, dreams, whateverthefuck they are, I just... even some of the memories still feel like dreams, and I don't want the good dreams to feel like just dreams."

"As much as I'd love to continue your trip down memory lane, we need to shower and go pick up Gus. I promised Linds that I'd watch him while she went to the GLC," Brian said as he got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Turning on the water, he waited until it was a good temperature and then got in. Justin followed him into the shower and they enjoyed a little water play as they soaped and washed each other. 

 

"We do this a lot. I love taking a shower with you," Justin said as he both made a statement and asked Brian for affirmation at the same time.

 

"Saves on the water bill."

 

They both chuckled at that. Justin allowed Brian to wash his hair and then he soaped Brian's chest and then followed the lean body down to the wiry curls of his pubes. Opening his mouth he twirled his tongue around the mushroom head and fondled Brian's balls. Gaining a familiar rhythm, he quickly brought Brian to orgasm and watched as the cum sprayed on the shower walls. 

 

Brian turned Justin around and grabbed the lube from the soap dish and prepared Justin for joining for the third time that afternoon. He covered his cock with a condom and breached Justin gently. When Justin pushed back he started a familiar rhythm and quickly came again. 

 

They finished their shower and dressed again. 

 

As they were leaving the Loft, Justin asked, "Do I see Gus a lot? I mean will he know who I am? If not, you could leave me here. I'm comfortable in the Loft."

 

"Gus knows who you are. Don't worry. Now come on, twat. We're going to be late and I do not want to listen to Lindsay bitch about it."

 

"Ok."

 

After getting in the car, Justin sat for a little while before talking. "Do you know who the guy was in my dream? I mean, shit that was so fucked up. Why would I do that?"

 

Looking at the dashboard, Brian debated pulling over and having another discussion with Justin, but decided he really didn't have that luxury. "If I promise to talk about it later, will you let it rest?"

 

"Okay. I know you won't break your promise and I will hold you to it."

 

"Twat. I'm sure you will." Brian smiled, things were improving.

 

They pulled up to Mel and Lind's place and parked the car in the driveway. Walking to the front door, Brian knocked and Lindsay opened the door. She reached out to give Brian a kiss and hesitated when she got to Justin.

 

"You can hug me too, Linds. I promise, I won't break," Justin teased.

 

Laughing at his playfulness, she eagerly hugged Justin and ushered them in. "How are you, Justin?"

 

"I'm okay. Still fuzzy on some details of my life in the last six years, but I seem to be remembering a lot of stuff pretty fast."

 

Lindsay smiled a half smile and said, "Good. I'll go tell Gus you're here. He was busy playing some video game." Lindsay turned and went to find Gus, feeling a mixture of relief that Justin seemed fine, but worried what he did and didn't remember. There had been many tense times between them in the past and she really didn't want to relive those again. On the other hand, she hoped he would heal fast so he could return to New York where he belonged. He had a better chance of making a life as an artist if he was there instead of here with Brian.

 

Gus came barreling down the stairs a few moments later, making a beeline for his dad and Justin. "Daddy!!!" Gus ran into Brian's legs and Brian bent down to give him a hug and then straightened his body. "Momma says I get to eat dinner with you tonight. Can we go to see Grandma Debbie and have milkshakes? I haven't had a milkshake in a long time." Looking eagerly at his dad for confirmation of his request, he noticed Justin standing next to him. "Justin. Are you coming with us? You love milkshakes and Grandma Debbie makes the best in the world. That's what you told me." He reached over to hug Justin and Justin leaned down to allow the hug.

 

Brian really wanted to avoid the diner and Debbie's endless questions as well as whatever information she might divluge; however, he wanted to make Gus happy and so far all the memories Justin had today were positive. Making a quick decision, he said, "Sure, Sonny Boy. We can head over to the diner."

 

Lindsay looked at the Brian and Gus, loving the resemblance between father and son. At least, Brian had a positive relationship with Gus and she thought it ironic that Justin had encouraged Brian to have an active role in Gus' life. Justin, who changed Brian forever was now changed himself. For Brian's sake, she hoped this was only temporary. Bending down, she gave Gus a kiss and said, "Be good for Daddy and Justin. Mommy will come by tonight to take you home."

 

"Okay, Mommy. I'll be good."

 

Gus got in to the car and put on his seat belt and watched as Brian and Justin got in the front. "Can we go to the park on Saturday? Momma and Mommy are always busy doing stuff and I want to play on the big slide."

 

Saturday was two days away and Brian had no idea what his life would look like at that time. It was disconcerting to think that he had no plans for just two days in the future, but circumstances changed. Hating to disappoint Gus, he answered, "Maybe. I think we can try. Why don't you call me on Friday after you get home from school? You remember how to call me, right Sonny Boy?"

 

"Yeah. I hit 1 on the speed dial on the phone. I remember we practiced it a lot. Mommy showed me how to hit 2 for her and 3 for Momma and 4 for Grandma Debbie." Gus grinned at his knowledge. "Tommy Baker says that he hits 1 for his dad too. Isn't that cool?"

 

"Yes it is. We're almost to the diner. Are you hungry?"

 

"Silly Daddy. You don't have to be hungry for a milkshake. They're treats. That's what Justin always tells me. Right Justin?"

 

"Sure," Justin answers. He wished he remembered more of their conversations, but knows that Gus wouldn't understand. Hoping that Gus doesn't ask anything of him that requires former memories, he helps Gus out of the car.

 

The bell jingles and Debbie looks up from her place at the cash register. 

 

"Sunshine." She walked over and engulfed Justin in a huge hug. She noticed that Justin did not return the hug whole heartedly, but she had talked to Michael so she wasn't going to call him on it.

 

"Gus. I've got a chocolate milkshake with your name on it. Why don't you go sit in the back booth and I'll bring it out in a few minutes."

 

Gus smiled widely and Brian and Justin followed him to the back corner booth. Justin took out the menu, looking it over to decide what he would like to order. When Debbie came over he ordered a cheeseburger and a Coke while Brian ordered a turkey sandwich on whole wheat. Gus wanted a burger and she gave him a big kiss after she took their order.

 

"I had the best day at school today, Dad. We got to play soccer at recess and I made a goal. Playing at the park is good. Can we play this weekend? Justin, after me and Dad play soccer, we can go to your room and paint. You haven't been in town for awhile and I want to show you what I learned in art class. You know it's so neat that I play soccer with Dad and we paint together. I'm the luckiest boy in the world." 

 

Gus stopped talking long enough to take a big drink from his milkshake and then started up again. 

 

"Momma and Mommy are being nice these days. They don't seem to yell at each other so much. Did you talk to them Dad? It always seems that when you talk to them, they are much nicer to each other. Jenny is still a real pain. She constantly goes in my room and plays with my stuff. Girls are such pains. Did your little sister do that too, Justin? I want to keep a lock on my door, but Momma won't let me. Says silly stuff like what if there is a fire. I'm hungry. I can't wait for Grandma Debbie to come with our food." Looking at his dad's face go a little pale and Justin do the same, he asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

 

Brian didn't know what he was feeling. He didn't count on Gus saying anything about Justin's painting and how they paint together, but he knew that with his luck that would happen. He could at least tell "the gang" to be careful but Gus was only 8 years old and what did he know of Amnesia or all the other things that made his and Brian's relationship unique. He couldn't be mad at Gus but he wasn't sure how Justin would react to the words or if he would. 

 

Justin had remembered sketching Gus as a child and mentioning his mom coming to his GLC show, so maybe this wasn't the disaster that it could be. Maybe Sonny Boy's innocent remark would trigger a flood of memories for Justin. 

 

"No Gus, you didn't do anything wrong," Brian assured the little boy. "It looks like Debbie is bringing our food. Why don't you eat?"

 

"Great. I'm really hungry. I traded my tuna salad sandwich for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I wish Momma would let me eat peanut butter and jelly. It tastes way better."

 

"I used to eat peanut butter and jelly at lunch all the time. My friend Daphne and I would laugh at the other kids since they would spend half their lunch period trading sandwiches and we would be playing on the playground since we brought stuff we liked," Justin said. 

 

"Is that how you met Daphne?" Brian asked, not ever thinking about the subject before today.

 

Justin thought for a few moments. "I guess. I've known her since kindergarten and we both love PBJ's so I guess that's right. I'll have to ask her on Wednesday when we see each other." Justin bit into his cheeseburger and enjoyed the greasy burger.

 

Gus finished his burger and his milkshake. "Justin, since it's too late to play soccer, can we draw when we get back to Dad's place?"

 

Justin could feel something niggling in his brain, trying to push through, but couldn't figure it out. "Sure. I bet you draw way better than I do," he said as he ruffled Gus's hair.

 

"I want to be an ar...." Gus started to say, but was interrupted by Brian.

 

"Time to go." Brian stood up and grabbed the check. 

 

Gus and Justin looked at each other, but neither one spoke as they followed Brian to the cash register. Both seemed to understand that Brian cut them off for a reason, and even though they didn't know what it was, this was Brian... so they were quiet.

 

_Shit! Shit! Now I understand the saying, ‘Out of the mouths of babes._ "

 

TBC


	16. Am I The Color Of Your World?

Dinner had taken a while and it was almost 7:00pm when they arrived at the loft. As Brian unlocked the door, he said, "I bought the new _Star Wars_ movie with the latest CGI on it. We don't have time to watch the whole movie but we could start it and see the rest this weekend." He hoped that this would entice Gus to forget his idea of ‘painting with Justin'.

 

Gus thought about the offer for only a few seconds. "Nah. I don't want to leave in the middle. Let's watch it this weekend." Turning toward Justin, he said, "Are you going to be here this weekend? Have you seen _Star Wars_? It's Dad's and Uncle Mikey's favorite movie. I think they've seen it about a hundred times."

 

Justin laughed at Gus' enthusiasm. "Yes, I've seen the movie. My memory may be shot, but I do know that I've seen _Star Wars_."

 

"Justin, since we're not watching _Star Wars_ , why don't we get the art stuff from the shelf. I learned this new shading thing in art class. We were working on it at your last visit. Come on. I want to show you." Gus held out his hand, but Justin hesitated a little. 

 

Brian saw the hesitation and said, "Gus, I know you really want to show Justin, but he seems a little tired. Why don't you go get the Harry Potter book and read that instead?"

 

Gus looked toward Justin for affirmation and Justin smiled a tentative smile. "Okay, but this weekend, we better have time." He walked toward his space in search of the Harry Potter novel.

 

Looking at Brian, Justin said thanks softly. Before Justin could say anymore, Gus was back with a giant tome and the two of them sat on the couch while Justin read to Gus starting from the bookmarked page. They read for 30 minutes and the buzzer rang, announcing Lindsay's arrival. Gus took the book and returned it to his area and went to the kitchen to get a glass of milk. Brian let Lindsay into the loft, never as thankful for her early arrival as he was today.

 

Eyeing the two men, Lindsay asked," Everything okay? Gus wasn't any trouble, was he?"

 

"No, he was a delight. He just wanted to draw with Justin," Brian whispered in her ear. 

 

"Oh." Lindsay didn't want to talk about the issue and was thankful when Gus came out of the kitchen with his coat. 

 

"I'm ready. Dad said to call him on Friday and he'll let me know if we can go to the park on Saturday and Justin promised to draw with me too. It will be a great day. I can't wait till Saturday. Wait till I tell my friends that I'm going to be draw...."

 

"Ok, Gus," Lindsay quickly interrupted the young boy. "Tell your Dad and Justin good night. It's late and it's a school night."

 

"Nite Dad. Nite Justin. See you on Saturday!!"

 

Brian bent down and ruffled Gus' hair as he gave him a hug and said, "good night".

 

Justin followed suit and Lindsay and Gus left. As the big metal door pulled closed, the two men eyed each other.

 

"He's a whirlwind. Goes a mile a minute, don't know how Mel and Linds keep up with him sometimes," Brian said as started pulling off his shirt. Justin eyed his partner and his cock immediately responded, momentarily forgetting Gus and art and any other concern he could face. He might have forgotten many things and it was slow and painful to get them back, but he never forgot his hunger for Brian.

 

Going over to Brian he kissed him softly as he helped him pull off his shirt and then undo his pants. Slowly kissing Brian's chest and abs as he followed the smooth skin down his torso, he enjoyed the feel of his lover. When he got to the jeans, he pulled them down and watched with hunger as Brian's cock sprung free. He moved his hands down to the smooth erection and caressed the silky skin. Hearing Brian moan in appreciation, he continued to kiss him and caress him as he led him back to the bedroom. When they got to the few stairs, they let go of their kiss, hurrying to the bed to continue their activities. 

 

Brian reached out and pulled Justin's shirt off and then unzipped his cargos, divesting him of his clothing quickly. Soon their hands were exploring each other as if he they were new lovers. Justin played with Brian's balls and moved his hand to caress the perineum at random intervals. In turn, Brian ran his hands across Justin's back and played with his bubble butt, one of Brian's favorite toys. Justin was lying on his side and pushing his cock against Brian's cock with earnest. Reaching for the night stand, Brian grabbed the lube and condom, giving the condom to Justin to open. 

 

Brian flipped the lube open, squeezing some of the cold gel on his finger and moving it to Justin's crack where he proceeded to play with his hole, slipping the tip of his finger into the tight opening. Justin involuntarily opened his legs, breathlessly whispering, "more".

 

Brian happily obeyed the request and pushed his finger into Justin, twisting it gently to stretch him. Quickly, he added a second and then a third finger to his stretch, stopping only when Justin demanded, "now".

 

Justin had opened the condom and when Brian stopped, he quickly placed the latex barrier on Brian and then waited impatiently for Brian to join them together. The first push of Brian's large cock into him resulted in a sigh. "Yes, Brian." 

 

Brian pushed in and out as he continued to caress Justin from behind. They were still lying on their sides, Justin in front of Brian as Brian grabbed Justin's cock and pulled as he thrust into Justin. _Yes. So right. I fucking love this man. Come back to me, Justin._

 

Pumping quickly as he heard Justin's increased breathing, he shot into the condom and he felt the familiar squeezes around his cock as Justin's ass pulsed with his orgasm. Hating to leave the comfort of Justin's ass, he knew that he had to pull out and get rid of the condom. Regrettably he pulled out, holding the condom and quickly tying it into a knot and disposing it in the garbage by the bed. He returned to hold Justin in post coital bliss. 

 

Justin lay quietly, enjoying the embrace and opened his eyes to look at the room since he hadn't taken note of the décor earlier. Directly across from him was a beautiful painting; the colors calling to his heart. He studied it with the intensity that was his trademark. Hearing Brian's soft breathing, he gently moved Brian's arms from around his waist and got out of bed to study the painting. Walking over to it, he noticed the repeated swirls in the picture; small ones going into larger ones and into even larger ones, but the viewer would have to look carefully to see how the artist had incorporated the design into the whole piece. It was almost like those color dot things that were popular where the viewer had to sort of cross their eyes to see the hidden picture; however this was more subtle and genuinely beautiful. He thought the artist was very talented and would love to see if he/she had painted any additional pieces. He walked closer to examine the signature in order do some research on the artist. Hopefully the artist had completed more work and he could view some additional pieces.

 

Justin saw the signature in the right hand corner. He gasped as he recognized his name. Flashes and visions bombarded him and he put his hands to his head. If it weren't for Brian he felt he would have collapsed.

 

Brian had been watching from the moment Justin looked till he gasped. At first he was tempted on keeping Justin in bed, but knowing Justin, his tenacity would have made him look anyway, no matter what Brian might have said. So he waited, knowing that Justin would have some sort of reaction. Brian shot up out of bed the moment he heard Justin's gasp. He rushed over to him, placing his arms around his torso. Justin allowed the embrace and comfort Brian's arms provided. Brian gently guided him back to the bed where they resumed their earlier position of lying front to back. 

 

"I painted that?" Justin asked quietly, more of a statement than a question.

 

"Yes." Brian tightened his hold of Justin for a moment, hoping to give the young man reassurance.

 

"That's why Gus wanted to work with me?" Justin was trying to piece together this new information, but unlike the other memories he'd remembered today, these were more blurry. They were like flashes of a fuzzy dream that felt right, but you didn't really remember any details. Justin remembered there were several other pieces in the loft and got off the bed to look around. In the bedroom there were two smaller pieces next to the television and in the living room there was an even bigger piece that hung beside the entrance to the bedroom. "I painted all these."

 

Brian stood back from Justin as he walked around the loft, there if he needed him, but allowing him the discovery on his own. There weren't many walls in their home since it was a very open floor plan but almost every one of them had a piece of Justin's art on it. Justin stood in front of the larger painting in the living room, admiring the blues and greens and how the painting added personality to the subdued furnishing in the room.

 

A thought occurred to Justin that he just had to ask. "Am I the color in your world, Brian?"

 

"Yes," Brian answered without hesitation. "You add depth and perception and color." He walked over to Justin, placing his hands on Justin's shoulders, providing support without overwhelming him. 

Justin stood and looked at the painting for a few minutes and turned toward Brian, gently kissing him on the lips. "Want to watch some TV?"

 

Brian wasn't expecting that response, but was happy to comply with the request, hoping that Justin's memory was almost restored. "Sure. Any preference or you want me to choose?"

 

Justin walked to the bedroom to grab some sweats and a long sleeve T-shirt. "Not really. Maybe something light; I've had enough thinking for one day," he said with a little flippancy.

 

Brian followed Justin into the bedroom grabbing a pair of old faded jeans and a wife beater for himself, perfect for relaxing with Justin. Reviewing his collection of videos, he said, "What about _X Men 2_?" Justin was a comic geek, thanks to Mickey's influence and Rage and they loved joking about the latest in comic turned movies. It was old enough that he and Justin had watched it a few times; but each time they enjoyed it. It was pretty light and fit the bill. 

 

"Okay. Have I watched it before?"

 

The question hit Brian in the gut; having momentarily forgotten the reason for Justin's presence in his loft in the middle of the week. Without showing his surprise or disappointment at the question, he said, "Yeah. We have, but you've always liked it so either way it's all good."

 

Thinking about Brian's answer, he said, "Okay. I trust you." He walked out to the living area and went to the fridge to grab two beers. Sitting on the couch, he moved to the middle and waited for Brian to join him.

 

Brian turned on the movie and sat next to Justin, absently playing with his hair and caressing his neck. 

 

They'd been watching the movie for about half an hour when Justin asked. "Where do I paint, Brian? Can you take me there? I'd like to see it."

 

_Shit I should have known that Justin was still thinking about the painting! How the fuck am I supposed to answer that question?_

 

TBC


	17. The Artist

Brian's hand froze as he was twirling Justin's hair; thrown for yet another loop by his partner's evolving memory. Justin wanted to see his studio. Of course, his studio was in New York and he was not ready to relinquish Justin back to New York. He had a studio at Britin as well; he could take him there, but was this evading Justin's intention? Justin wanted to see his studio - the place where he painted and Britin's studio was a shadow of the one in New York. Something that Brian was happy to fix anytime Justin was ready, but Justin needed to be in New York to be a successful artist... Didn't he? The one at Britin was used only when Justin was in town and absolutely had to paint when his muse wouldn't let him wait to a more convenient time. Luckily for him, Justin was usually too preoccupied in their bed for his muse to strike during the infrequent visits to Britin. He knew if he hesitated too long, Justin would get suspicious.

 

Evidently his definition and Justin's definition of too long did not coincide. "Brian?" Seeing Brian's consternation, Justin asked, "Is this another one of those 20 questions?"

 

Brian choked back a chuckle. It wasn't funny, and it was painfully laughable at best. Justin was still too smart for his own good. Brian picked up the remote, shutting off the movie and walked to the window as he ran his hand through his hair several times. Looking out the window as the street filled with patrons of Liberty Avenue, he said, "It's complicated."

 

Turning toward Brian, Justin said, "It's complicated. Brian, what about the last few days isn't complicated. Will you or won't you take me to my studio? I was hoping that seeing it would bring back some memories." As he finished his statement, he stopped and listened to his words. "I do have a studio still? Right? Gus said that he was going to paint with me." Justin asked, the fear evident in his questions. "Or are these paintings old? Did something happen and I don't paint anymore?" Justin got up from the couch as he finished his questions and paced the room, fearful of the answers to his questions.

 

Brian had not turned from the window but hearing the desperation in Justin's voice, he turned and saw Justin pacing the floor. "Stop. I'll have to refinish the floors if you keep pacing," he said with a little levity, hoping the sarcasm would break the tension.

 

Justin stopped and looked toward Brian, but did not repeat his questions. 

 

"You are still painting. You painted the one in our bedroom a few months ago."

Justin let out his breath at the answer. "But..."

 

"Your main studio is in New York," Brian said admitting that this Amnesia thing was damn difficult. 

 

Justin sat back down on the couch, trying to take in all that Brian had said. "I'm still painting but my studio is in New York. That must mean I live in New York. But I thought we were together. You're ‘here' Why the fuck am I living in New York?"

 

"I told you it was complicated, Justin."

 

"I guess this is another one of those things you aren't going to answer?" Justin said as he laid his head in his hands. "I think I need to go to bed. Maybe when I wake up, I will remember everything."

 

Relieved that Justin did not want to continue the conversation, Brian eagerly said, "Sure. It's been a fucking long day. Sleep will be good for both of us." Brian kissed Justin chastely on the lips and pulled him up from the couch. 

 

After finishing in the bathroom, Justin went to bed, leaving the duvet pulled over for Brian. Waiting patiently for Brian, Justin closed his eyes and fell asleep before Brian came to bed. When Brian came to the bedroom and saw Justin sleeping, he retreated to the living room and moved to the kitchen. It was early, only 10:00 so he got out his phone and hit 5 on his speed dial.

 

"Brian. How's Justin. What time do you think you'll be bringing him home tonight? I've got an early showing tomorrow and wanted to get to bed soon."

 

"He's sleeping here," Brian said quietly, knowing that nothing was ever straight forward with him and Justin and this situation was no exception.

 

Jennifer hesitated before answering, measuring her words carefully. "Do you think that's wise?"

 

"He's had a full day; he remembered quite a lot."

 

"I see." Jennifer didn't want to pry but her motherly instincts were still on high alert. "Brian...?" the question evident in her tone.

 

"We went to Mikey's this morning and he remembered Rage and the fiddler. This afternoon we saw Gus who wanted to ‘do art stuff' with Justin. He remembered some stuff with the Pink Posse and the oh so charming and treacherous Cody Bell. He figured us out and then recognized his name on the big painting on our bedroom wall." Brian tried to keep his voice neutral throughout the list, but it was obvious to Jennifer that some memories he could have done without. 

 

"I'm sorry, Brian. I know Ethan was always a regret for both of you," Jennifer said with a little solicitation as she heard the pain in Brian's voice. "Wait," she said as she realized what else he said. "He remembered that you were together? That's wonderful, Brian."

 

"Hence why he's asleep in our bed," Brian said somewhat tongue in cheek.

 

"I'm so happy for you. I know this has been a very tough time for you." She yawned but wanted to clarify one more item, so she ignored her tired body and continued. "He recognized his signature. So he knows he's an artist?"

 

Brian smiled at her intuitiveness. She really could read between the lines. "You're good, Jenn. He saw his paintings; I have a few hanging in the place, but he still doesn't really remember that he paints. He wanted to see his studio and wants me to take him there," Brian said. Jennifer could hear the pain and bite in the words.

 

Nodding her head as she understood the implication of Justin's request, she felt again how frustrating and terrible this must be for Brian and for Justin. "What are you going to do? He doesn't really have a full studio here; only in New York."

 

Brian got a water out of the fridge and set the phone down as he twisted the top. Taking a long drink, he picked up the phone and swallowed the water before continuing. "I know. I could take him to Britin, but that just might confuse him even more. He's remembered a lot today and that's great. Guess those doctors were wrong again or Sunshine just outsmarts them all."

 

Jennifer could hear the pride in his voice and marveled at the lengths this man was willing to go for her son. She remembered his words after the bashing. ‘I care for him' and realized that she should have recognized how serious Brian was even then. Brian and Justin were not the only ones who had regrets with that time in their lives. "He's strong. Remember Brian that underneath he's still Justin, the man who loves you with all his being." 

 

"I know. Look, it's late. I need to let you go. I'll keep him safe."

 

"I know you will. Call me and let me know how he's doing."

 

"Okay."

 

"Good night, Brian. Get some rest yourself," she said as she smiled at her words. Brian was as much a part of her family as Justin and Molly and she wondered, not for the first time, when that change had occurred.

 

Brian hunted for his cigarettes. While he had told Justin he had cut down, he felt tonight was a good reason to enjoy a few. Going over to the liquor cart, he poured himself a few fingers of Beam and lit a cigarette. He sat on the couch and just stared into space since he didn't want to turn the TV on and wake Justin. For the first time in almost a week, he was feeling optimistic. Justin was in his bed sleeping; a place where he actually belonged. He knew some of his past; although some of those memories were not ones he would have chosen for him. Now he had some decisions to make and he feared that if he made the wrong one, it could turn out horribly wrong for everyone involved.

 

He finished his cigarette and drink and sat in the dark silence for a while, imagining all the scenarios and options he had. In the end, he decided that Justin was really steering this ship and he would defer to his partner to lead the way in this dark storm. He yawned and went to check that the alarm was set and the door locked, even though he'd done this a few hours ago. Quietly he returned to bed where Justin automatically scooted up to him and he wrapped his arms around his blond, falling into a quick slumber.


	18. Brian Kinney Loves Me

Light filtered through the large picture windows in the living room gently waking the men. Opening his eyes as he adjusted to the brightness, it took a moment to gather his bearings. He was in Brian's loft. They'd talked last night and he remembered the painting. Looking at the wall, there it was with his name obviously adorning the right hand corner. He was an artist and Brian was going to take him to his studio. Maybe that will bring back even more memories. _I really don't enjoy the 20 questions any more than Brian does_. 

 

Snuggling into Brian's arms, he lay quietly as he allowed his mind to drift, taking his thoughts wherever they might lead. He remembered the almost discussion they had started yesterday about the gun and Chris Hobbes. Brian had promised to talk about that but they never got an opportunity since he discovered the painting. He filed the information in his head and made a note to talk to Brian about it this morning. Needing to go to the bathroom, he extradited himself from Brian's arms and walked to the bathroom. 

 

After finishing, he decided he didn't want to disturb Brian; therefore, he gathered his sweats off the floor and went to the living area. He went to the fridge hoping there was some food, but the only thing in it was left over Chinese and some Guava juice. Searching the cabinets, he found some Oreos and decided they would do for now. Making some coffee, he poured himself a cup and took a handful of Oreos and sat at the island to eat his make shift breakfast. 

 

As he ate his breakfast, he saw visions of himself in the loft with Brian. He saw him dancing with Brian's music player and head phones on. He remembered Brian yelling at him for wearing his shirt. He remembered taking Daphne on a tour and Brian telling him his home was not the White House. He smiled at that memory. He saw Brian working at his computer, the back light from the computer screen illuminating his face as it was the only light in the room. He saw himself working on a computer with his hand cramping. He saw them eating dinner together as well as him cooking. But most of the memories were of them having sex. He could look at almost any space in the loft and see the two of them deep in the throes of passion. It wasn't a wonder that Brian and he had already done it three times since yesterday. 

 

Brian had told him the truth, not that he expected anything less from him. Brian was always honest, or Brian's version of honesty. Brian wasn't always honest with his own feelings and he was remembering this resulted in many hurt feelings through the years. He remembered their lovemaking, and that was what he would call it from yesterday and realized that not only were he and Brian together but this ‘new' Brian was admitting his feelings without the awkwardness that he had felt for many years. It warmed him from the inside out. 

 

Brian Kinney really did loveeeeeee him. ‘I want you safe.' Brian had said those words, but he couldn't remember the context. Brian brought him here instead of leaving him in New York, ‘to be safe'. Brian admitted yesterday that he had a studio in New York, but if he and Brian were together, why did he have a studio in New York. _So many unanswered questions, but still ‘Brian loves me'- he's here and that is the most important piece of my memory that I have recovered._

 

He was smiling at that memory as well when Brian came out of the bedroom, hair everywhere and slightly rubbing the sleep from his eyes like a 10 year old. He was adorable, but Justin knew enough to not point that fact out. It would not go over well and he was still dependent on Brian for many things at this point. 

 

"Good morning," Justin said as Brian walked into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee.

 

After several deep inhalations of the coffee and sips from the mug, Brian grumbled, "Morning." He finished his mug of coffee and poured a second one before acknowledging Justin's presence again. Mid way through the second cup, he opened the fridge and frowned at the lack of food in there. 

 

"It's empty. I helped myself to some Oreos. Guess those are mine. But I could really use some real food. I'm starving."

 

Brian smiled. "Some things never change and your growling stomach is one of them. Come on, let's get dressed and go get some food before you blow away in the wind," Brian said tongue in cheek as he went over to Justin and pulled his hand to help him stand and lead the way to their bedroom.

 

Justin's stomach took that moment to let its hunger known and both men laughed. "Told you I was hungry."

 

"I believed you. Now come on, we should shower before we leave. I stink and I do believe you have a strong odor of spunk about you as well."

 

They showered and gave each other hand jobs while they were there. The inability to keep their hands away from each other's bodies had not lessened in the eight years that they had been together and now that Justin remembered that Brian and he were together, their bodies' pull toward each other was as strong as ever. After their shower, they dressed and left the loft for breakfast.

 

"Can we go somewhere besides the diner? I want to talk some more and I don't want Debbie around," Justin said as he walked toward the Vette.

 

"Sure. I know just the place." Brian unlocked the doors and then drove to a small neighborhood diner a few miles from his home. "Here we are. Far enough away from Liberty Avenue to be anonymous."

 

He and Justin found a booth at the back of the diner away from other patrons. They looked at the menu and ordered, neither man saying anything until the mundane task was completed.

 

"You sleep okay? You weren't in bed when I got up?"

 

"I was thinking," Justin said as he played with the salt shaker.

 

Brian waited for Justin to continue. There were too many landmines in their life right now to venture into more unknown territory.

 

"Painting , Gus, Stockwell, us, the prom, and Rage. Lots of memories, but there are still so many I'm missing."

 

Even though they were not on Liberty Avenue, Brian reached out for Justin's hand, giving it a squeeze. "You've remembered a lot in just a short period of time. I'm sure they will all come back."

 

"We're together," Justin blurted out, not able to contain himself any longer.

 

Unwilling to take anything at face value, Brian casually answered. "It appears that we are sitting together in a booth about to eat breakfast."

 

"No. I mean together." Justin took his finger and pointed back and forth between the two of them. "I mean we are together, as in a couple." Justin smiled at the word, hoping that the ‘new Brian' didn't bristle at the mention of relationships.

 

Brian beamed at the realization and breakthrough. "Yes. We are."

 

Justin bounced in his seat. "How long? Does everybody know or just us?"

 

The waitress brought the coffee and poured a fresh cup for Brian. She refilled Justin's soda. Brian took two sugars and emptied the packets into his cup and then poured some cream in there as well. He was thrilled at the break through and wanted to grab Justin and take him into the bathroom, truly marking him as his, but since they were in a breeder diner, he couldn't be so brazen. He settled for the biggest smile he could produce. "Unlike you, I do not count the months, days and hours, but it's been a while. And yes, everybody knows that I claim Justin Taylor as by partner."

 

Justin smiled his famous Sunshine smile and Brian felt the shine across their booth warm his soul. His Justin, the man he loved more than life itself was remembering the most important thing in his world. He remembered that they were together. Brian didn't care if Justin never remembered anything else, as long as he remembered them, everything else would be okay.

 

"Since I don't remember everything about our partnership, I think it fitting that we return to the loft after we eat and we celebrate our union."

 

Laughing at Justin's playfulness and seeing for the first time, the man who cracked his façade, Brian said, "If I didn't think your stomach would complain all day, I would say screw the food and let's leave now. But... I know your stomach and I do not want to hear your complain so we shall wait till we eat to celebrate."

 

The waitress brought their food shortly and both men ate with gusto. 

 

After realizing that he and Brian were together, a burden had been lifted, but he still wanted answers, especially to his dreams. Brian had promised they would talk about the gun and he better do it now. If his memories served him well, he and Brian might not come up for air for a long time. 

 

"You promised me we could talk about Chris," Justin said. He saw the color go out of Brian's face and knew he hit a nerve. "Brian," he asked nervously.

 

Brian drank some water, thankful that he had something to occupy his hands even if only for a few moments. "What do you want to know?"

 

"You said we were together at the time, but you didn't know if I really did what I said." Justin decided that talking about putting a gun in someone's mouth was not a good option in a public place. "Want to share?"

 

Brian thought it is too early to be having these kind of talks, but truth be told he would always say it was too fucking something. "Look Justin, I don't put you on a leash, never have, never will. You were acting out your anger when you hung out with Cody. We never talked about the Prom or probably not to the extent that we should have. Cody gave you an out, a way to deal with your feelings that I did not. If you saw that in your dream or visions or whatever you want to call it, I imagine it actually happened." Brian looked around to see if anyone was paying attention and was glad that they had chosen a secluded table in the back. "Everything else you have remembered happened, so I can't see why this memory isn't real."

 

Justin returned to his food for a few moments taking in Brian's explanation. Justin said, "That is really fucked." 

 

Brian nodded and continued to eat his egg white omelet. Silently he wondered what the next set of questions would entail, but he would wait for Justin to lead this show.

 

"Thank you."

 

"For what?"

 

"For being honest."

 

"I always am."

 

"I know." Justin finished his waffles and drank his milk. "I guess I should call my mom. Don't want her interrupting anything."

 

"I talked to mother Taylor last night. Later, we could go there and get you some clothes."

 

Justin heard the statement and was surprised. "You and my mom...."

 

Brian smiled and nodded his head.

 

"Ok. Maybe I'll have those memories soon too." Justin said softly as he tried to figure the puzzle of this new relationship between his mom and Brian. He watched as Brian nodded his head in agreement. "Speaking of memories.... If we are together, why is my studio in New York?

 

 

TBC


	19. Twenty Questions

\- previously in Chapter 18

"I talked to mother Taylor last night. Later, we could go there and get you some clothes."

 

Justin heard the statement and was surprised. "You and my mom...."

 

Brian smiled and nodded his head.

 

"Ok. Maybe I'll have those memories soon too." Justin said softly as he tried to figure the puzzle of this new relationship between his mom and Brian. He watched as Brian nodded his head in agreement. "Speaking of memories.... If we are together, why is my studio in New York?

Chapter 19

Looking at his partner of almost three years and the man he loved, he saw the hunger in his eyes. Justin really wanted to "fix" this and Brian, as always, wanted to help. He'd followed his instincts so far and they'd been good. 

 

"It's complicated, but I'll explain."

 

Opening his mouth to try to convince Brian to answer his question, he was a little taken a back at his answer. "Okay? You're going to tell me?"

 

"Yes. Well...." Brian hesitated.

 

"I knew there was a catch," Justin said as he looked at Brian's eyes, the part of Brian's face where he could not hide his true intentions.

 

"I'll take you there."

 

"We're going to New York?"

 

"Justin....20 Questions...."

 

Understanding Brian's meaning, he nodded his head and drank the last of his Coke. "I'll be right back." Justin's country club manners made him excuse himself and he pushed his chair back and headed toward the restroom. 

 

Taking out his phone, he quickly dialed Jennifer. "I'm taking him to Britin."

 

"I trust you, Brian. Whatever you think is best."

 

Brian smiled at the words. "Funny, he said the same thing. Gotta go, he'll be back in a few minutes."

 

"Okay." Jennifer ended the call and smiled at her phone. Brian was nothing but a risk taker and it had always landed him where he wanted to be. She hoped that this risk paid off like all the others. Either way, she knew that Justin was in good hands.

 

Justin returned from the restroom and Brian paid the bill. As usual, he left a sizable tip and the waitress smiled at him as she told him, "Come back and see us any time and ask for Brittany."

 

Brian smiled, feeling generous and watched Justin walk out of the diner and toward the car, enjoying the view. Knowing that Brian was watching, Justin put a little emphasis into his walk, but kept it light as they were not in the ‘gay' part of town. Justin waited while Brian unlocked the car and he got inside. 

 

They'd been driving for about 10 minutes when Justin said, "I'm excited to see my studio. Maybe it will bring back some memories for me."

 

"I hope so. But Justin even if it doesn't bring back memories...."

 

Looking at Brian, he saw the pained expression in his eyes. Brian's eyes were the window to his thoughts. Justin had always wondered about the saying ‘a person's eyes are windows into the soul' but now he understood it perfectly. Brian could not hide the expression in his eyes. He could try to hide his feelings by not talking, but Justin could see his eyes and he couldn't hide those. 

 

"It bothers you that I don't remember. I'm sorry."

 

"Sorry's bullshit. It doesn't change anything."

 

"No apologies. No regrets," Justin said, stopping for a minute as he hunted in his memories where the words came from. "You used to say that all the time. Do you still believe that?"

 

Brian raised his eyebrows and sighed loudly. "Sometimes. Still doesn't change anything, but yeah, I do regret stuff."

 

Watching the scenery as they drove through Pittsburgh, Justin tried to digest Brian's words. He still felt ‘sorry' was bullshit but he did regret things. "What do you regret?"

 

Brian tightened the wheel under his hands. "Justin...."

 

"20 questions?"

 

Brian shook his head. "No. I have many regrets and most of them involve you."

 

"Okay," Justin said, unsure how to respond to the words. "Did we ever talk about the regrets?"

 

"Not really." Brian really hated this. All his faults were being laid out on a table for Justin to see and he feared that maybe Justin wouldn't like what he found. 

 

"I guess they're not important if we're still together," Justin said as he listened to Brian wasn't saying. "I mean. Everybody has regrets; it's part of being human and I'm sure you have your reasons for doing what you do. I guess that if most of them involve me it's because I'm important to you. If I wasn't important then you wouldn't regret anything." Justin smiled at his logic and was happy that he came to that conclusion. 

 

"Twat." Brian smiled at Justin's logic and began to release his tight grip on the steering wheel. Maybe this will work out.

 

"My studio is really far away. Isn't it a pain for me to drive out here all the time?"

 

"Not really. It's far away from ‘the family' so they don't tend to drop in unannounced. It gives you an opportunity to work uninterrupted." Brian didn't bother to add that it kept Justin from going off in the middle of the night when they were staying at the loft. The reason remained the same- it was too far, but the result was Brian got to keep him in his bed when he was in town. 

 

Brian signaled to get off the highway and started the last bit of their journey. Justin's memory had improved a lot in the days since the accident; more than he thought it would, but not as much as he'd like. With trepidation, he made the last turn on to the lane where Britin was located. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Justin for signs of recognition. Brian pulled into the driveway and turned off the car.

 

"Britin. I named it? Right?"

 

Brian's heart soared when he heard the words. "Britin. I always thought it was very original - the first three letters of my name and the last of yours. It belongs to both of us."

 

Following Brian to the front door, they walked in when he unlocked it. Looking around the interior Justin's smile lit up.

 

Walking to the fireplace, he turned toward Brian, "You asked me to marry you. Said I was your prince." Justin watched as Brian's face lit up at his words. Walking toward Brian, Justin engulfed Brian in a huge hug, wrapping his arms around his waist as he pushed his cheek into his chest. "You made love to me on the floor." Justin pointed to the spot. "Make love to me again, Brian. I want to feel you inside me. Please." Justin kissed Brian, found his lips; licking them softly, but then opening his mouth to taste Brian's tongue as it caressed his own. 

 

Brian returned the kiss and bent his knees as he brought both of them to the floor. The kisses were gentle, full of the love the two men felt for each other. This time, Brian was making love to Justin, truly connecting the two together. No longer did he wonder if Justin remembered them as a couple. The request was one he was happy to fulfill. He didn't worry that ‘making love' was for lesbians as today he was shouting inside and out that he was in love with Justin and their joining was lovemaking at its finest. 

 

Starting with Justin's shirt, he unclothed the man beside him as Justin helped disrobe him as well. They lay together, Brian on top of Justin, their cocks grinding together waiting release but neither eager to bring the lovemaking to its natural conclusion. They kissed and tumbled, hands exploring as new lovers as in Justin's mind they were not well acquainted. Brian stopped for a moment to find his pants and grab the ever present condom and packet of lube out of his pocket. Preparing Justin quickly, he then handed the condom to Justin and motioned toward his erect cock. Justin put the condom on and they were soon joined together. Neither could wait to prolong the inevitable and soon were shouting each other's name as they came within seconds of each other.

 

"I love you," Brian whispered as he kissed Justin on the neck and inhaled his scent again.

 

"I love you," Justin sighed as he began to feel complete for the first time since he woke up in the hospital. 

 

They lay there waiting as their hearts returned to normal, gently caressing and kissing each other. As Brian felt his cock deflate, he sadly removed it as he held the condom. Justin let out a sigh of disappointment as he grabbed Brian and kissed him deeply on the mouth. Brian quickly tied the condom in a knot and tossed it out of the way, and then returned to lie next to Justin. After a short respite, Justin sat up and looked around the mansion.

 

" As wonderful as that was, ... I thought we were going to see my studio?"

 

Brian sat up as well and wrapped his arms around Justin from behind. He had his legs on either side of Justin and Justin's back was to his chest. Decisions... he'd never made so many snap decisions in his life and he hated this feeling of uncertainty. He hated wondering if one wrong move would throw everything in his face, everything that he'd work for and hoped for gone within a moment because he had made a wrong move. 

 

"It's complicated."

 

Feeling Justin tense at his words, he squeezed his chest and rested his head against the unbelievably softness of Justin's blond hair, effectively calming the young man. "Your studio is here or one of your studio's. Let's get dressed and I'll show you around. Maybe that will help." Brian kissed Justin on his neck and then stood up, going to his discarded clothing and getting dressed. When he finished, he saw Justin had almost finished dressing as well. 

 

"I'm ready," Justin said when Brian just stood in the living room and did not move.

 

Brian hadn't realized he was staring, but he decided that it was as good of a tactic of avoidance as anything. Brian walked toward the kitchen. "This is your second favorite room. You love to cook, even if we do have a cook that makes fabulous food." 

 

Justin was looking through the cabinets taking inventory. "Are we here a lot? There's more food here than at the loft. I take it we spend a lot of time here."

 

"Sometimes. It's far to the nearest store so I keep it stocked. Wouldn't want to have to stop ravishing your body to go feed you," Brian said tongue in cheek. 

 

Justin blushed slightly at Brian's comment but Brian didn't call him on it. They continued the tour. Brian showed him the media room and the study and Brian's office. They continued the tour of the upstairs where Justin saw the master bedroom with its giant walk in shower that was even bigger than the one at the loft as well as several bedrooms.

 

"The house is a mansion. But where is my studio?"

 

Brian could no longer put off the inevitable and walked up the last flight of stairs to the loft area. Opening the door, he said, "here".

 

Justin gasped slightly at the size of the room. There were sky lights that allowed sun to penetrate from above and the room had windows on all three sides. The light would always be good in here. Several easels were set up and a full array of painting supplies were sitting out on the shelf, waiting to be used. There was a computer in the corner as well. Lastly, there was a futon to the side. He walked toward an easel that was set up, but there were only a few streaks of red paint on the canvas. Looking for some finished work, he found only a small painting in the corner. 

 

"I thought you said that I still painted and the picture in our bedroom was only a few months old. This studio barely looks used," Justin said. He found the futon and sat on it, slumping over, his head in his hands.

 

Brian's heart went out to Justin. He knew this was not what Justin wanted. He was hoping for a flood of memories to come to him if he saw his studio, but he knew Justin wasn't ready for New York yet. Maybe in a few days or a week, he might be ready. He wondered if ‘drawing with Gus' would bring back the wanted memories of himself as an artist.

 

Brian went to Justin, sitting next to him on the futon. "You don't paint a lot here, not now at least."

 

"But you said...."

 

"You asked to see your studio. I told you your studio is in New York but you also have this one. I was hoping seeing this one would bring back some memories, but I guess I was wrong," Brian said as he kissed Justin on the forehead. "Well not totally.... You did remember quite a bit downstairs if my memory serves me," Brian said tongue in cheek. 

 

"But why do I have a gorgeous studio here if I don't use it?"

 

Brian didn't know how to answer that question. He wanted to tell him the truth. The truth being he hoped that one day Justin would return to Pittsburgh and use it regularly, but for right now it was a promise that he'd made to himself to be ready for that day whenever it happened. Justin remembered them but the part of him that was an artist and needed to be in New York, was still locked in his subconscious. 

 

"You do use it when you are here."

 

Justin heard the underlying message in Brian's statement. "So I really do live in New York?"

 

"Yes, Sunshine. You do really live in New York."


	20. Living in the Moment

Justin gazed out the window but he really didn't see anything; his mind whirled around with the latest information that Brian had shared. They were together but he lived in New York. Attempting to wrap his mind around any scenario where he would be with Brian but not "with" him was just inconceivable. Asking Brian to explain was obviously not on the table, so yet again he would have to wait and see if he remembered things. 

 

His stomach took that moment to growl, letting both men know that while they might be involved in other drama, it needed to be fed. Laughing at the loud noise, Justin said, "I guess it's a good thing you have a fully stocked kitchen. Let's go find some lunch."

 

"Sure. Sounds like a plan." Brian walked down the stairs and heard Justin's footsteps behind him. "There's probably nothing fresh in the fridge, but we could make some tuna salad."

 

"Okay."

 

They fixed the salad, working in tandem. When the salad was made, Justin found some chips in the pantry and put some on both their plates. Brian grabbed two cold bottles of water from the fridge and they sat down to eat their lunch.

 

"Thank you," Justin said as he swallowed the first few bites of his tuna.

 

Brian looked at him with a puzzled look.

 

"For telling me the truth, for not hiding stuff from me, for taking me here...."

 

"Ah that," Brian smiled but shrugged as if it was no big deal.

 

"What now?" Justin asked, hoping Brian would have some great ideas regarding memory restoration.

 

"We need to swing by your mom's and pick you up some clothes. Do you want to visit her and Molly or come back with me?"

 

"Seeing mom would be good. I can share with her all that I've learned in the last few days. And I'd love to get some clean clothes."

 

"Sounds like a plan. Do you want to walk around the grounds here or see anything else before we head back into town?"

 

"Sure. Maybe something will spark my memories."

 

"Justin...."

 

"What?"

 

Brian sighed and gathered his thoughts before he continued. "Just live in the moment. Pushing isn't going to get you anywhere but disappointed." Brian leaned over and gave Justin a soft kiss on his cheek.

 

"It's my life we're talking about here. I have six fucking years of memories that need filling in." Justin slammed his hand down on the table, startling both men. "While I remember bits and pieces, there are huge gaping holes. I don't know if I can live like that." Justin's anger quickly turned to sadness as a tear trickled down his cheek. "Brian..."

 

Brian stood up and held his hand out for Justin's as he led him to the couch. Brian lay down on the couch and urged Justin to lay on top of him. He caressed Justin's back, moving his hand up and down hoping to calm his partner. 

 

"I'm here and that isn't going to change. We will get through this. You remembered a helluva lot more than anyone thought you would in just a few short days. Give it time, Sunshine." Brian continued to caress Justin's back and kiss his neck gently.

 

"I'm glad you're here. You make things better." Justin kissed Brian's lips and then laid his head back down on his chest, enjoying the soothing touch. Justin closed his eyes and was lulled into a light slumber.

 

Brian continued to move his hand until he was certain Justin was asleep and then he closed his eyes and allowed his mind to wander where it wanted. He saw Justin at his Prom, his smile so bright it would have won anyone over. Visions of Justin and him at several show openings; one as recent as a few months ago flashed across his mind. He saw the two of them making love in front of the fireplace three years ago and then a few hours ago; both memories made his dick hard. He saw Justin and him arguing over his trip to "Ibizia" and a feeling of regret came over him. He saw the Rage party at Babylon and him fucking "Rage". He saw him taking Justin to the loft after Gus' first birthday party and how they made love for the first time. He saw them making love in the loft before Justin moved to New York. He saw Justin working as a damn birthday stripper. _There are so many memories, not just the ones we share. Damn!!! I can't imagine not having those; it must be hard to know that you have holes in your life. I told him I'm here and I will be by his side. No more hiding at the doorway, afraid that I'm not good for him._

 

Brian's mind was tired after reliving all those memories and he too allowed the warmth and comfort of his partner to fill his senses as he fell into a restful sleep. They stayed that way for well over an hour and Brian woke when Justin started moving, signaling his body's return to consciousness. 

 

Justin woke and felt Brian's body beneath him and smiled when he felt his arms wrapped around him preventing him from falling. Gently he pushed up and got off Brian and then stretched. Brian sat up on the couch as he moved his legs to the floor and then patted the space beside him signaling for Justin to sit next to him. Leaning over he kissed him softly on the forehead and then turned his body towards Justin. 

 

"I know this is incredibly frustrating for you. I'm here and I won't be going anywhere. Now let's head back to the Pitts. We can stop at your mom's and then we'll see."

 

"Okay. I love you," Justin said quietly, waiting for Brian to frown at the words, but he was pleased when Brian responded.

 

"I love you too."

 

As they drove back to Pittsburgh, Justin watched the countryside and the highway trying to see if any of it seemed familiar. The passed the exit for Park Avenue and Justin said, "We're close to Kinnetik."

 

Brian smiled. "Right. Let's stop and make sure that Cynthia and Ted have not sold all my assets," Brian said tongue in cheek, happy to check in to his work and to possibly spark some additional memories for Justin.

 

"Okay. I don't think my mom was expecting us at any time."

 

Brian parked the car in his executive parking space, but they went in the front door.

 

"Mr. Kinney," the blonde woman greeted him. 

 

"Afternoon, Sarah." Brian smiled at the young woman and proceeded to his office suite, his hand on Justin's lower back. On the way back he knocked on Ted's door.

 

"Come in," Ted said. He looked up from his paperwork to see who was at the door and smiled when he saw it was Brian and Justin. "Justin. Good to see you." Ted held out his hand to shake Justin's hand and Justin returned the handshake.

 

"Hi Ted."

 

Ted smiled, happy that Justin recognized him. 

 

Understanding Ted's smile Justin added, "I know who you are, but I don't remember a lot about our history. So don't start reminiscing about ‘remember that time...' because I probably don't," Justin said, a tinge of sadness in his voice, but also said with a little flippancy.

 

"Sure thing." Turning to Brian, he said, "Things are fine here, Bri. I did the presentation for Targus this morning and they signed on the dotted line. Legal is reviewing the contract now. Cynthia and I are reviewing the Eyeconics account this afternoon."

 

"Carry on." Brian led Justin out of the office and down toward Cynthia's office. She'd long ago left her desk in front of Brian's office but she still was the person he relied on for information and to do the really important tasks. Knocking on her door, Brian waited for an ‘enter' and was rewarded with the door being opened instead. 

 

"Justin. So good to see you," she said as she moved to hug him. He allowed the hug and returned it.

 

"Hey Cynthia."

 

"How are you?"

 

Justin had always liked Cynthia as she was usually in his corner. She kept him up to date on Brian's moods and watched out for him. She recognized his place in Brian's life even before Brian did and she became an ally. Seeing Cynthia resulted in a warm feeling in Justin. While he didn't remember everything and all their encounters, he knew she was on his side. 

 

"I'm better. Not 100%, but good. Thanks for asking," Justin said, his country club manners still intact. 

 

"Everything's under control, Brian. We haven't robbed you blind yet and I haven't had to threaten anyone with dismissal," she said tongue in cheek as she knew that Brian wouldn't fire anyone unless their performance was subpar. "There are some papers that you could sign while you're here. They're in your out box."

 

Brian smiled. "Let's go to my office, Justin. It appears that while everyone is assuring me that all is well, my presence is still needed, or at least my signature." Brian led Justin down another corridor to his office.

 

They walked in and Brian walked behind the desk and Justin stopped cold and gasped.

 

"Ibizia. You told me you were going to Ibizia. But you... you had cancer. You fucking had cancer. Oh my god." Justin sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. "I was in the loft and you were in the shower. I listened to the answering machine as the doctor left his message. You didn't tell me and you, you threw me out...." Justin looked up to see the pain in Brian's eyes, again his eyes being the window to his feelings. He couldn't hide from Justin nor did he try. 

 

Brian didn't say a word, waiting for the memory to fill in. He hoped that the entire memory would come, where Justin would realize that Brian let him in after all and that they were stronger after that incident, but he remained silent, waiting for Justin's mind to connect the dots.

 

"But then Michael talked to me and I came back. Chicken soup. I made you Debbie's chicken soup and made you eat it. I took care of you. Just like you are taking care of me. We do that... care for each other. We're partners." Justin looked at Brian for affirmation and was pleased to see a small smile on Brian's lips.

 

It was Justin's turn to pat the couch for Brian to join him and he did. "Is that one of your regrets, Brian? Kicking me out when you had cancer. Because, it appears that it didn't work." Justin reached out and held Brian's hand, feeling the connection between them grow as each memory surfaced.

 

"You're still here," Brian said.

 

"I am, but that's because I'm a stubborn shit... you said so yourself."

 

"Actually, it's not a regret. I almost didn't have the surgery, but then I wanted to be around for Gus."

 

"You almost didn't have the surgery. What the fuck? Brian... What were you thinking?" Justin's righteous indignation was palpable in the room.

 

"I always thought I would die young, 30 or so. I lived a fast and furious life. Lots of drugs and booze. I didn't want or expect to grow old. So when I got the diagnosis I figured that was it, but then Lindsay came to see me with Gus. I didn't tell her what was going on, but decided that I wanted to be around for him." Brian found it hard to share these thoughts with Justin and pushed his body away from Justin, but remained on the couch.

 

Justin listened, still finding it difficult to believe that Brian would just give up like that, not fight the cancer, but then he realized Brian had fought and he smiled a small smile.

 

Brian was not looking at Justin, but rather stared at the floor as he continued his story; therefore he missed the small smile of acceptance that his partner had bestowed on him. "Guess you're wondering where you come into the picture? I didn't tell you or anyone because I didn't want your pity. I didn't want to burden you with my troubles and I didn't want you here because you felt sorry for me."

 

"What changed? After all, you let me in," Justin asked softly. His heart went out to Brian. He recognized the pain the cancer had on his psyche but he pushed Brian. These were memories and he doubted Brian had ever talked about them with him or anyone

 

"You came back. Even after you knew. You yelled at me. Didn't treat me with fucking kid gloves. That took balls and I knew then you were telling the truth that it didn't really matter if I had only one ball. Me, Brian fucking Kinney, with one ball and the trick that never went away didn't give a shit about that." It felt good to talk, but Brian wished that it hadn't taken a fucking car wreck to come to this place. On the other hand, he doubted that he would have ever broached the subject with Justin or anyone for that matter. He admitted that there were some benefits to this amnesia thing.

 

Each man sat and digested the information. Brian, saying the words out loud for the first time enabled him to feel a weight off his chest. He'd told Justin how he felt and why he did something and the world didn't come to an end. Justin was still here and he didn't appear to be leaving or making any signs of giving up on him. Of course, that was partially because Justin didn't remember everything but Brian didn't believe that was the reason Justin stayed. Justin stayed because he wanted to, just like all the other times. While Justin did tend to leave when things got difficult, Justin always came back.

 

Justin listened to Brian's story; his heart going out to his partner. Justin remembered his feelings at the time. He was scared of losing Brian, his partner, even if Brian didn't call him that. Justin always saw them together, even when there were disagreements. He was there for Brian when he needed him and Brian was here for him now. 

 

"You're here."

 

Brian looked at Justin and heard all the things said in those few words. They were a familiar refrain between the two men in the last few days and this discussion was no different. 

 

"I am here and I will always be here for you, Justin."

 

"I know. I'm glad you decided to be treated."

 

"Me too."

 

"Let's go to my mom's. Maybe she'll have cooked dinner. I'm hungry for her cooking."

 

"Your stomach is a bottomless pit, Justin. Let's go see your mom and Molly."

 

"And afterwards?"

 

"Who knows?"

 

"Can we go to Babylon?"

 

Brian was taken aback by Justin's request. They hadn't gone to Babylon in a long time, but he was up for anything that would bring back memories.

 

"If you want. I think that can be arranged."

 

"Okay."

 

"I'll call the girls and see if they want to join us. Emmett is always up for a good dance."

 

Justin smiled at the mention of Emmett and dancing. "Sounds like fun."

They left Kinnetik and drove to Jennifer's condo. Jennifer wasn't home yet so Brian and Justin watched some TV on the couch. Brian enjoyed sitting next to Justin and he started playing with Justin's hair. Turning toward Brian, Justin kissed Brian and soon they were kissing deeply and starting to undress each other.

 

Oblivious to the door being unlocked, Jennifer found them in a state of half undress while they were giving each other handjobs.

 

She gasped, "Ohhh, um, I'll just go put my....."

 

Brian and Justin looked at each other, each laughing gently.

 

"Guess we don't have to tell your mom some things, huh Sunshine?"

 

"I think she saw way more than she wanted. Think I should go find her?" Justin started to get up from the couch, tucking his shirt into his pants.

 

"Nah. She's even more of a country club woman than you. She will come out when she thinks we're done, but will not say anything."

 

"You think?" Justin asked, uncertain about Brian's statement and uncomfortable thinking that his mom just saw him and Brian making out, and then some, on the couch.

 

"I know." Brian's eyes twinkled as he looked between Justin and the kitchen area where Jennifer had disappeared. "Now how about we finish up what we started?" Brian teased as he put his hand down Justin's pants.

 

"Let's go to my room," Justin said as he grabbed Brian's hand and helped him off the couch.

 

"Sounds like a plan."

 

Jennifer heard them go up the stairs and when she was certain that they had vacated the living room she went out to her car to bring in the groceries she had purchased. Bringing them into the kitchen, she unloaded them and started to prepare dinner. She mulled over the scene that she walked in on and was both pleased and uncomfortable. She was thrilled that Justin had apparently remembered who Brian was or what he was to him and that made her very happy. 

 

On the other hand, no mother wanted to walk in on their child having sex in their living room or any other room for that matter. However, she realized that where Brian Kinney was concerned, when the urge hit him, he acted and he didn't care who saw him. She smiled when she realized that she knew Brian so well, but still she felt that she would remind him that this was her home.

 

She heard Justin and Brian walking down the stairs and settle in the living room. She washed her hands after she finished prepping the chicken and putting it in the oven and went to talk to them.

 

"I see you have remembered some things, Justin, but I see your lack of decorum still hasn't improved." She frowned slightly as she was reprimanding him.

 

"Uh sorry, mom. The heat of the moment and ..."

 

"Please keep your makeout sessions to the confines of your bedroom or at least where I don't see them." She crossed her arms trying to appear stern.

 

"Yes, Mother Taylor."

 

"How was your day?" Jennifer quickly tired of the reprimand and was eager to hear of Justin's progress.

 

"Six years is a long time to forget and there are a ton of memories."

 

"Yes, it is," she said, waiting for him to continue.

 

"But Brian and I have made a lot of progress. I'm remembering more every time I go somewhere."

 

"That's wonderful, sweetheart. I know you'll be fine." Turning toward Brian, she asked, "Are you staying for dinner?"

 

"Sure. We just came for a short visit and a home cooked meal. Evidently, Justin's memory is not lacking in the food department. Justin mentioned Babylon, so I think we'll head there later tonight."

 

"Ok. Whatever you think is best." Standing up, she moved toward the kitchen. "I better go finish dinner. Molly will be home soon and she is always ravenous."

 

"I guess I could go upstairs and get my stuff together. Want to help?" Justin eyed Brian again, even though it had only been a short time since they had each other. 

 

"I like the way you think."

 

Jennifer came out to the living room a short time later to visit with Justin and learn more about his day only to find it empty again. She heard noises upstairs and realized they had listened to her earlier reprimand. She smiled as she knew that Brian's touch was just as healing for her son as any medicine the doctor's could give him. She flipped on the news and waited for her family to arrive and join her for dinner.


	21. Dinner with the Family

Dinner was a pleasant enough experience. Justin always liked his mom's cooking and he had seconds of the chicken and thirds of the rice. Molly watched the interaction between Justin and Brian and noticed that Justin gave Brian several "looks" throughout dinner and she was ecstatic. Her brother had obviously remembered his partner. 

"What did you two do today?" Molly asked.

"We went to the comic store and we went to Britin," Justin said. He paused and then added, "and we went to Kinnetik too."

"Brian took you to all the important places. What about the diner or Babylon? Have you gone there yet? I bet you're just dying to dance and pick up some guys," Molly said, the knowing tone in her voice.

"Molly," Jennifer said, admonishing her daughter with a glare in her eyes.

"Mom. Just because you choose to keep your head in the sand and don't think about what goes on in Babylon, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Right, Jus. There are lots of guys at Babylon and picking up tricks is a huge part of it."

Brian smiled at the exchange, enjoying the no apologies forthright attitude of Molly, whom he would have to admit was actually his sister in law. He inwardly cringed at the title, but acknowledged that it was accurate. 

"Umm, Well...,"Justin said as he was uncertain how to answer the question.

"That's a part of it, yes, but we rarely pick up tricks anymore," Brian said. He leaned over and gave Justin a quick kiss on the cheek.

Justin nodded and whispered thank you to him before he sat up in his chair. 

"Then what's the fun of going to Babylon?" Molly asked. "Justin used to ...

Blushing at the way the conversation appeared to be headed, Justin said, "Things change, Mol."

"But Jus, you..."

"Molly, I think your brother and Brian have had enough revelations for today. Why don't you help me with the dishes?"

Molly sighed loudly and shrugged her shoulders. "At least, tell me that you remember Brian is your partner?"

"OK. Brian is my partner," Justin said as if he was repeating a sentence in class.

"Molly, come on," Jennifer said as she tried to push her daughter toward the kitchen.

Molly wasn't budging. Turning toward Brian she asked, "Brian, help me out here. I thought ... I saw..."

Brian snickered. "You're right, Molly. Your brother has decided that he will keep me for awhile. And yes, you are correct. He does remember that we're together."

Molly shook her head in mild disgust at the shenanigans. "Okay. Well at least that's settled. As long as you two are together, everything else will work out," Molly said and left to help Jennifer with the dishes.

Justin got up to clear his and Brian's plate and deliver them to the kitchen. Returning to the table, he brought the food platters to the kitchen as well. Brian watched and enjoyed watching Justin walk back and forth. When everything was emptied off the table, Justin moved toward the living area and sat on the couch. Brian quickly joined him and sat next to him. 

"Is she always so bossy?" Justin asked.

"She's a Taylor. Of course, she's bossy. The Taylor's come in one variety- the kind that tells you what they think. Shy is not in your vocabulary."

Picking up the remote, Justin played with it in his hand, but didn't turn it on. "So now you're an expert on the Taylors?"  
"Yes. I've been around them for many years. I know exactly where you get your stubborn streak and your ability to hold your own in difficult situations. Your mom is a very tough lady."

Justin looked toward the kitchen and heard the distinct banging of pots and dishes and decided they had a few minutes before his Mom and Molly were finished. "Sounds like you admire my mom and that you are good friends?"

"She's a tough lady." Brian reached out to take Justin's hands in his own. "She's like a lioness fighting for her cubs when it comes to you and Molly. Extremely protective of you."

A flash ran through Justin's mind. "We were playing ball and she came home. She asked to talk to you and sent me inside..... Then you were gone. I came to your place a few days later and you wouldn't see me." Justin stopped talking as he fast forwarded through the memory. 

_"Brian! Brian! I'm glad to see you."_

_"Who else could it be? Where you goin'?"_

_"In."_

_"Did I say you could?"_

_"Don't give me any shit, all right? I nearly freaked out five times getting here."_

_"Well, you're gonna have to nearly freak out five more times getting home."_

_"I want to see you."_

_"Well, you can't, okay?"_

_"Why not? Are you fucking some guy?"_

_"None of your fucking business. Go away!"_

_Brian closes the door in Justin's face._

******

_"Justin, my God. What are you doin'? Stop it. Stop!"_

_Molly, said, "Why is Justin freaking out?"_

_"Molly, go back to your room. Go on! Justin, please stop it."_

_Jen tries to get Justin to calm down by grabbing his arm. Justin repels her._

_"You told him, you didn't want him to see me anymore, didn't you? "_

_"It was for your own good and he agreed."_

_"You had no right!"_

_"Justin, I want you safe from and that everything will be alright."_

_Jennifer tries to touch him to comfort but his repels her again._

_"Guess what, it's too late! Thing's never gonna be alright. My life is fucked. Chris Hobbes saw to that! He should have killed me!"_

 

"She really did that, told you to stay away and you admire her?"

"She thought it was for your own good. She was protecting you."

"What changed?"

"She saw how upset you were. She came to me. Asked me to take you, to love you, to make you whole again. She knew I cared for you, so she felt it was the right thing to do."

"She knew you cared, then why did she tell you to leave? And .... How did she know you cared?" Justin tossed the controller between his hands and then put it on the coffee table. 

Again, Justin was playing 20 questions, trying to fill in the blanks but this was truly water under the bridge. They had gotten past the prom and had navigated many more treacherous times; therefore Brian said, "I was at the hospital, every night, watching you. The night nurse told her. When she told you to go inside, I told her I cared for you. At the time, she didn't want to hear that piece of information, but soon she saw she couldn't ignore it. I was her only hope. Help me Brian. Help me Brian Kinney. You're my only hope."

Justin giggled as he recognized the famous Star Wars quote. "Geek."

"Not."

"Are too. But go on, Michael junior. You were saying." 

"Jennifer is an amazing woman. She truly wants the best for you."

Jennifer had heard voices coming from the living room and this time she restrained herself from barging in and interrupting the conversation. Molly had started to enter the room but Jennifer held her back, allowing Brian and Justin to move just a few more inches forward in Justin's recovery. She motioned for Molly to be quiet as she put her finger in front of her lips. Molly closed her mouth and waited by the doorway. 

"It's still strange to hear you and mom on the same side. I'm used to her fighting our relationship. I just remember her being angry and afraid because you were so much older than me."

Justin felt a warm glow pass over him as he realized that not only were him and Brian a couple, but that his Mom and Molly and most likely every one of their friends realized it too. _I no longer have to defend Brian to everyone... or do I?_

"Does everyone know we're together?" 

Brian gave a little shake of his head and scrunched his eyebrows at the question. "Sunshine, where did that come from?"

Justin laughed. "I still can stump you. See, I realized that if Mom and Molly are friends with you and they realize that we're together, I wanted to know if everyone else knew it too? Are we a couple in front of ‘the gang'?" 

Brian leaned over and kissed Justin soundly on the lips. "Yes. Everyone knows. I no longer hide my feelings for you." 

"Okay. I guess I'll find out when we go to Babylon later." Justin noticed the lack of noise from the kitchen and looked toward the doorway, seeing his Mom and Molly. "How long you two been there? Did you hear the whole conversation," Justin asked, his eyes blazing with embarrassment and slight anger. 

Jennifer walked into the room and kissed Justin on the forehead and Brian on the cheek. "Thank you," she said as she directed her comment to Brian. "Brian is right, Justin. I just want what's best for you." 

"I turn 18 next month. You promised to take me to Babylon, Brian. Are you going to keep your promise?" Molly asked. 

Jennifer turned toward her daughter and gave her a stern look, and then turned toward Brian and glared at him. "What is it with you and my children? Do you have a magic spell I don't know about?" 

Brian smiled and reached out for Jennifer's hand. "Why Mother Taylor, I don't have any spells. I'm just irresistible to blonds," he said tongue in cheek. 

Justin blushed, but said nothing. 

"Remember, two weeks, Brian. And I expect you to take me to Babylon. Buy me drinks and show me a good time." Molly crossed her arms showing Brian she meant business. 

"You do realize that Babylon is a gay dance club and that the drinking age is 21?" 

"Pshaw. You own Babylon and you bought Justin drinks when he was only 17, so .... And as far as it being a gay dance club. Well, you can dance with me. No one would say a word if the great Brian Kinney danced with a woman." 

"Molly, you can't go to Babylon with Brian," Jennifer said. 

"Why not? He owns it and you can go to dance if you are 18. Justin did it when he was only 17, so why can't I?" 

Justin and Brian snickered at the conversation. It was fun to watch Jennifer try to justify why Molly couldn't go and both of them found this amusing. 

"I forbid it." 

Everyone laughed. "Mom... You saw how well that worked for me. Forbidding me didn't stop me from seeing Brian. In fact..." 

Jennifer put up her hand motioning for him to stop. "Okay. I really don't want to relive more teenage angst. If Brian will take you to Babylon, then you can go. And Brian," she said as she glared at him. "You better watch her like a hawk. I expect her to come back unscathed. Do you understand me?" 

"Yes, Mother Taylor." Brian looked at Molly and said, "We'll have to go shopping for some appropriate clothing. Don't want to escort another Taylor with bad fashion taste." 

"There's nothing wrong with my taste in clothing, Brian," Justin said as he crossed his arms. 

"There's nothing right with it either. When is your birthday, Molly?" 

"The 30th. A week from Wednesday." 

"Okay. I promise to take you to Babylon. Maybe I'll get Daphne to take you shopping. I'd trust her with my credit card. It will come back with some credit still available," Brian said tongue in cheek. "Some people don't know how to show restraint." 

"I love Daphne. She's got great taste in clothes," Molly said as she gave Justin a once over and looked at his baggy pants and hoodie. "She has this really cool pink and orange top with sparkles that she let me borrow for..." 

Molly stopped talking, not wanting to give up any of her secrets in front of her mom. 

Hearing the pause in Molly's speech, Justin said, "Speaking of Babylon, I thought we were going there sometime tonight." 

Molly mouthed ‘thank you' to Justin. 

"Ah yes. Mother Taylor, thank you for dinner. Justin say, thank your mom." 

"Thanks mom." 

"When will I see you again?" Jennifer asked, but without any accusation in her voice. 

"Daphne and I are going to lunch tomorrow. I told her I was staying here so Brian can drop me off in the morning. I'm sure Brian has stuff to take care of instead of watching over me all day." 

"I like watching you, Justin," Brian said as he leaned over and kissed Justin on the lips as he pulled his lower lip inside his mouth with a little tug. Letting go quickly, he said, "But Justin is right. I do need to take care of some things at Kinnetik, so if it's okay with you Mother Taylor, I will drop Justin off in the morning and I'll be here by dinner." 

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning. Night Brian. Night Justin." She leaned over and kissed both men; Justin on the forehead and Brian on the cheek. She walked them to the door and opened it. "Be safe and Brian... watch over him and ..." 

"Yes, Mother Taylor. We'll see you tomorrow." 

They walked to the car and each man got in, buckling their seat belt. 

"Are you really going to take Molly to Babylon?" Justin asked as Brian pulled away from the curb.

"Sure. She's a good kid and she reminds me of someone else. He was okay." 

Justin play hit Brian on the arm as he mulled over the conversation from this evening. _More pieces to my puzzle. My mom likes Brian and really trusts him. He was at the hospital- every night. Brian and Molly- holy shit. Brian's told everyone he and I are together. I think I like this version of Brian Kinney. On to Babylon and hopefully more memories._


	22. Thumpa Thumps

They drove toward Babylon and both men were quiet for a few minutes, but Justin broke the silence first.

 

"Did you get a hold of the guys? Are they going to join us? It's always more fun when there's a group of us." Justin bounced in the seat as he turned the radio on and heard the DJ announce the call letters for the station.

 

Brian smiled at the eagerness of his partner. "You do realize that we haven't been to Babylon in a long time. Just a few times since..." Brian stopped short of completing the sentence when he realized that Justin might not remember the bombing, the rebuilding, or any of the other significant events that happened at Babylon. _Shit! What did I agree to? Is this really a smart thing to do? There are so many memories tied up with Babylon..._

 

Justin picked on the unfinished sentence. "Since.... Since what, Brian?"

 

Brian eyed the parking lot where he often parked the car and pulled in, turning off the car and undoing his seatbelt. Scenes and events swirled through his mind and he stopped to think what it would be like for Justin if he remembered even half of those memories. 

 

"We went to Babylon a lot. I'm sure there are a lot of memories there. I worry that they'll be overwhelming," Brian said, hoping Justin wouldn't push him. He said as he turned off the car and pocketed the key.

 

Justin looked at Brian, reading his unspoken words just like he had for years. "You're not telling me stuff again, right?"

 

"Justin...." Brian said the tone in his voice showing his hesitancy.

 

"Ok. I get it. Sort of, but.... Let's go inside. I want to dance." Justin unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. Looking around the somewhat familiar parking lot, he spotted the street and started walking in the direction of the front door.

 

Noticing the street light, he smiled and turned to Brian. "You said, ‘Where you headed? And I said, ‘No place special' and then you said, ‘I can change that.'

 

"Twat."

 

"So, I did say that?"

 

"Yes. It sounds familiar, but I don't keep track of every conversation that we ever had." Although Justin could tell from Brian's trademark smirk that that's exactly what was said.

 

As they walked closer to Babylon, they could feel and hear the thumpa thumpa of the music emanating from inside. The music resonated through Justin's body and he could feel his body moving to the vibrations. Brian watched as Justin unconsciously moved to the music and Brian smiled at Justin's natural inhibition. The door man recognized Brian and pulled up the rope, allowing them inside.

 

Justin looked around the club seeing the dance floor filled with gyrating men. Looking toward the back wall he noticed the curtain leading to the back room and the men going in the area. Noticing the bar as his second look around the room, he saw that Michael and Emmett were there. Pulling Brian toward the bar, he steered them toward the familiar faces.

 

"Baby. How are you?" Emmett asked as he gave Justin a hug.

 

Brian allowed the hug for a few seconds then gently removed Emmett's hands from around Justin's neck.

 

Justin smiled and said, "I'm okay. My memory is improving."

 

"Want to dance? I haven't had a decent dance partner since you left."

 

Laughing, Justin followed Emmett to the dance floor and they enjoyed each other's company.

 

"How you doing?" Michael asked of his best friend as he finished his drink.

 

"Okay. He seems to be remembering more all the time. He knows we're together and that's probably the biggest relief. I don't think I could have handled things if he didn't remember us. Ironic, isn't it? I used to deny that he meant anything to me and now I practically shout to the world that he's mine." Brian picked up the shot of Beam he ordered earlier and downed it quickly as he stared at the sea of beautiful men.

 

Michael knew better than to comment on the last statement, so instead he just nodded. "Ben said he'd be here later; he's got to prepare for tomorrow's lecture."

 

Looking toward the entrance, Brian spotted Ted and Blake as they walked toward the bar.

 

"Brian," Ted said in way of greeting. 

 

"Theodore."

 

"Where's Justin? I thought you said that you were bringing him."

 

Brian turned his head slowly and nodded toward the dance floor where Emmett was doing his imitation of "praise Jesus" and Justin was dancing with his eyes closed as men gyrated toward him. Brian watched as Justin allowed himself to get pulled into the music, apparently forgetting his current problems. _If only life were that easy. Dance your troubles away. Shit! Dance your troubles away. I wonder if being at Babylon will bring back the whole stupid birthday stripper? How can I explain that to Justin when I don't understand it myself?_

 

After a few dances Justin returned to the bar and gave Brian a kiss on the lips. "This is fun." Turning toward the bar tender, he said, "water" and the bartender gave him a bottle which he promptly downed in a few gulps. 

 

He looked at the dance floor and pulled Brian toward it. "Let's dance."

 

They made their way toward the dance floor and Justin unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it toward their friends who had moved to the edge of the area. Justin gently touched Brian and moved Brian's hands over his slick torso. Brian's hands moved around Justin's neck and kissed him gently. Justin backed away, swaying to the music and teasing Brian as he played with his naked nipples. Brian smiled at the gentle teasing, but when Justin started stroking his cock through his pants, Brian had enough and grabbed his hand leading him to the back room. 

 

Swiftly undoing Justin's pants and then his own, he grabbed a condom from his pocket and put it on. Quickly preparing Justin with the lube he had stashed there as well, he plunged into his partner and grabbed Justin's hips as he controlled their joining. Justin grabbed his own cock, pulling it in time to Brian's thrusts and soon both of them were coming. Brian grabbed a towel from the basket on the shelf and cleaned up Justin, and then pulled his pants up. Tucking himself back in after discarding the condom, he kissed Justin's neck and then turned him around to kiss him on the lips.

 

"Let's go out there. I hear they're announcing a contest and I want to see." Justin turned and walked toward the club, eventually joining their friends at the bar.

 

"Ladies and ladies, put your hands together for Caleco Jack, the daring Pirate from the Seven Seas." 

 

On the stage, a well muscled man dressed as a pirate came out and begun gyrating to the music, his ruffled shirt billowing. He untied the wrist strings of his sleeve and in one swift move pulled the shirt over his head, showcasing a well tanned six pack and biceps that had obviously seen the inside of a gym. 

 

"Yeah"

"Woah"

"Sweet"

"Captain can sit on by plank anytime."

"Wowzah"

 

The man strutted across the stage and his boots clicked on the wooden floor. Grabbing the whip attached to his belt, he pulled it out and flung its tails several times, the sound barely audible above the cat calls coming from the audience. He flailed the whip around his torso several times and the crowd appeared even more frenzied. Taking the whip, he took one hand to his back and the other in front of him and slid the hard stick underneath his crotch, sliding the device back and forth along the sensitive area. The men in front could see the slight bulge that formed in the front of his pants. 

 

The tempo of the music changed and he threw the whip to the back of the stage as he walked to the pole in the center of the stage and climbed it as if it were a mast on the ship. Sliding down, he swung around the pole as he placed his feet on the edge and his arms stretched out. The audience looked on as his body made a V shape as he made several rotations. Letting go of the pole, he continued his intimate dance with the music and yanked his pants off in a forceful pull, leaving him with a small G-string for coverage. 

 

"Take if off."

"I'll come swim in your sea."

"Woot."

"Yeah."

"I love sweaty pirates."

 

He reached back behind his head and took off his pirate "head rap" releasing his long shoulder length chestnut hair. His hair tumbled over his shoulders and then as the song wound down, he shook his head, letting the hair fly. 

 

"Let's hear it for Caleco Jack. Captain of many ‘semen'."

 

"He's very talented. I bet he could make a lot of money doing that gig," Emmett said as he looked at his friends.

 

"Yeah. I wonder where he got the whip," Michael said.

 

"Why, Mikey, I didn't know you were into whips? I would have thought you and the professor were too vanilla for such things," Brian said, the teasing evident in his statement.

 

Michael blushed but didn't say anything. Ben walked over to the group as he saw the blush and asked, "What did I miss?"

 

"I'll tell you later," Michael quickly answered, hoping that his "friends" wouldn't say anything. 

 

Justin was barely paying attention to the conversation as he was mesmerized by the man on the stage dancing to a familiar, very familiar song. Cindi Lauper. That's Cindi Lauper. Emmett just loves her. She sang the night of the benefit. The benefit. Oh my god. The bomb. That's why it doesn't look that familiar.

 

"Justin. Justin!!" Brian shook him slightly when he didn't respond right away.

 

"They bombed Babylon. The smoke. Michael was hurt." Justin looked around, verifying for himself that Michael was actually there in their little crowd. "You came looking for me. Told me you loved me." He looked at Brian, not really seeing the concern in his eyes, but rather seeing the familiar eyes and face. "Took a fucking bomb for you to tell me you loved me. You asked me to marry you. Fuck!"

 

"Yes." Brian placed his hand on Justin's arm, hoping to ground him to the present time. For the first time since the accident, he wasn't sure that Justin regaining all his memories was a good thing. "Let's get you a drink." He steered Justin toward the bar and ordered a Beam. Placing it in front of Justin, Justin blindly kicked back the shot and placed the shot glass on the bar, indicating he wanted another one. The bartender complied and Justin drank that one quickly as well.

 

Justin glanced back toward the club and saw the elevated platforms, but this time saw a vision of himself with wings on, accepting dollar bills as he danced. But then his mind played a trick on him. He saw himself in a restaurant accepting tips from men as he danced. _What the fuck!_

 

He turned pale as he allowed his brain to see the entire scene. _I'm in a restaurant and in a private room. The music is playing but there wasn't a sound system, more like a boom box. I'm dressed in a tuxedo and started dancing and that's when I saw Brian. It couldn't be Brian. Brian was with a client and I'm in a restaurant, but the man sure looked like Brian and I can feel the man's eyes on me. After the show, I'm talking with the guests and Brian showed up to talk with me. It was Brian. Shit!!! I'm in trouble._

 

Brian watched as Justin zoned on a memory. He recognized that look as he'd seen it multiple times during the last few days. Justin was remembering another event, but he looked confused. He was frowning.

 

Turning to his friends, he said, "I think we better go."

 

Looking at Justin for the first time, his friends saw the pale look on his face. "Okay. Talk to you tomorrow."

 

"Baby, take care of yourself. Call me when you can."

 

"Don't worry about anything, Bri. Cynthia and I have everything under control."

 

Brian nodded but didn't respond to any of the comments. Instead he led Justin toward the entrance and out the door toward the car. Justin continued to look around the area, trying to push new memories toward the surface.

 

After getting in the car and heading toward the street, Brian asked, "The Loft or the House?"

 

Justin didn't answer, too lost in his memories to acknowledge Brian's question.

 

"Justin!" He paused, making sure that he had his attention. "Do you want to go to the Loft or the House?"

 

"Oh, sorry. I don't care..... The Loft, I guess I'm tired."

 

Brian drove the short distance to the Loft and parked the car, but when Justin didn't immediately undo his seatbelt to get out, Brian reached out and touched him on his arm, hoping to bring him to the here and now.

 

"Ok. You have officially got me worried. You are very quiet and you've obviously remembered something. Want to share?"

 

"Brian...."

 

"Oh so this is what it's like to play 20 questions. I can see why you don't like it."

 

Justin laughed, thankful for the humor. "I was watching the guy on the platform. Men were stuffing dollar bills in his pants."

 

Brian smiled at the memory; the guys tonight were good, reminding him why he had rebuilt the platforms. "And... That happens all the time. Nothing new there. It gives the guys that are in the back a chance see the dancers. Spreads the entertainment out." The streets were empty and he didn't like sitting in the car. "Can we finish this discussion in the Loft. I'd really like to have a drink while we play your version of twenty questions." He moved to open the door and looked out the corner of his eyes to see if Justin was following.

 

"Okay. If we go inside, I can watch your face better." Justin opened the door and walked around the side of the car, joining Brian.

 

Brian walked into the Loft, moving toward the bedroom. "I'm taking a shower." He pulled the shirt over his head and threw it in the hamper. Undoing his button on his pants, he quickly divested those as well. Justin walked in a few minutes after and also quickly undressed. 

 

Following Brian into the bathroom, he waited while Brian adjusted the water temperature in the shower. They stepped in the shower and Brian grabbed the shampoo as he turned Justin toward the shower head. After pouring some in his hand, he washed Justin's hair.

 

"Nice, but this hasn't made me forget."

 

"I didn't think I'd get that lucky," Brian said, a little tongue in cheek.

 

"Brian...."

 

"Justin. I'm glad you're remembering things so quickly. Those doctors really don't know what they are talking about. I know you'll be fine." Brian moved his fingers and let the water rinse the shampoo out of Justin's hair. "So you were saying you saw the guy dancing on the platform, is there significance in that memory? As I said, guys dance there every night."

 

Justin turned Brian toward the shower head and grabbed the soap, beginning to soap his body.

 

"I had a flashback. I was wearing wings and guys were putting bills in my pants."

 

"Okay." Brian wasn't sure where this was going, but he was willing to be patient. That did happen when he was dancing to pay for school but that only lasted a few days. Thankfully he came to his senses.

 

"But then the lines blurred and I saw me stripping in a restaurant and guys were putting bills in my pants. And I saw you in the audience. Was that real? Were you watching me do a strip in a restaurant? Why would I be doing that? Did I really do that?"

 

_Shit!!! I've been so focused on him regaining his memory. How could I have neglected to figure in the damn stripper?_

 

The silence was palpable as they stood in the shower as the water grew cold. "Brian..... Did you hear me?"

 

"Yes." 

 

Brian said as his mind raced to figure out what he would say next. _Knowing Justin, he would want an explanation of why he was doing that. Maybe going to Babylon wasn't the smartest thing in the world or maybe it was._

"Yes, what? Yes, you heard me or yes it happened?" 

TBC  



	23. The Moment Of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin realizes some truths

Brian turned off the shower, grabbed a towel for himself and Justin. He dried off his body but continued his silence.

"Brian... why the silence?"

Brian walked over to the closet, grabbing a pair of jeans and a wife beater while Justin put on sweats and a t-shirt. Justin watched as Brian walked back to the living area and poured himself a drink. Sitting on the couch, he motioned for Justin to join him. Before Justin joined him, he also poured himself a drink. 

"So I take it that I did dance at Babylon and in a restaurant? Or is this where you quote me twenty questions and leave me hanging?" He motioned quote signs in the air with a frown on his face.

Brian swallowed his drink and played with his glass before answering. _This is probably the most important question he's asked besides asking if we're together. I need to be careful._

"You danced at Babylon. I loved the angel wings. They were kind of cute, but I don't think you would really qualify as an angel," he said as he placed his empty glass on the coffee table. 

"It's a pretty short memory - I didn't do it for a long time," Justin said as the memory was filling in. He drank the tumbler of Beam as well and grabbed both glasses taking them to the liquor cart to refill them.

Brian watched as Justin poured the amber liquor, placing the bottle towards the front of the cart, in just the right place. _Funny how some things are so deeply embedded in your memory that you don't even think about them._ "No, only a few days and then you decided to take my money to pay for school." Brian didn't want to revisit the entire fiasco and hoped that Justin would just leave it alone.

"I ran away from Sap's party," Justin said, the statement leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. "Why'd I think that he would just let me dance because I asked?" Justin walked back to the couch, handing the glass to Brian and he sat down on the couch.

"You were stubborn. Some things don't change." Brian thought of the many instances that Justin's stubbornness had been exhibited through their time together, realizing that this trait had ultimately gotten them in this situation.

"You have to know when to ask for help. You said that to me once. It's worked for us in the past; although you're as stubborn as I am." Justin took a drink from the tumbler as he waited for Brian to continue.

"And that leads us to the second part of your question. Yes, Justin, you were dancing in the restaurant and that was me you saw. In fact, we talked for a few minutes after your dance." Brian finished his whiskey and got up to refill his glass for a third shot, glad that he could legitimately turn his back on Justin, hoping to hide his distaste.

"What aren't you telling me?" Justin watched Brian pouring the liquor, seeing the pain in his eyes. 

"Well, there's the million dollar question. You dancing at the restaurant _is_ somewhat of a mystery to me." Brian put his thumb to his mouth and bit at the nail as he stood next to the liquor cabinet, physically distancing himself.

"Brian. I don't like playing twenty questions. Is this another one of those memories where you're holding back for fear of what information you might share?" Justin waved for Brian to join him at the couch and Brian reluctantly did.

"That would assume that I have the information," Brian said as he sat down, his shoulders slumping slightly and he leaned back against the couch, as he looked forward, his eyes avoiding Justin.

"What are you saying, Brian?" Justin's eyes scrunched, mulling over the words.

"I'm saying that yes it's a memory but it happened right before your accident and I don't really have the information you want, only you do." Brian quickly darted his eyes to look at the window. _This isn't how I imagined the conversation, but then again, I guess I really didn't imagine this conversation._

"So ... I was dancing in a restaurant- well stripping sounds more like it- you saw me and that's all you know." Justin touched Brian's hand, trying to pull him back to the conversation.

"You were getting paid for it," Brian said the words flatly, but the effort it took to get them out let Justin know how much they hurt.

"Paid?" Justin's face turned ashen white. "I was getting paid to be a stripper, but that doesn't make sense. I mean if we're together, then why am I in New York? And you said I painted- when do I do that? .... And why am I stripping for a living? I really think twenty questions has turned into mystery of the week." 

"Touché"

"Brian... Will you please just tell me what you know?" Justin looked at Brian, the pleading evident in his eyes.

"Okay." Brian fought all the conflicting thoughts in his head, not sure which one he should let dictate. He looked at his partner, seeing the anguish in his eyes and made his decision. 

"Okay? REALLY? You're going to fill in all the blanks?" Justin almost bounced in his seat.

"Not exactly." Brian regretted his word as soon as he agreed.

"Briannnnnnn,"

"You were stripping in a restaurant- as a birthday stripper - you were supposed to meet me after your gig but you never showed up- instead you were in a god damned car accident where you hit your head again, losing fucking six years of your life. " He winced as he said the words, making them real. While he had told Justin he was in an accident and Justin had been putting the pieces of his life together, Brian had avoided stating the cause and effect of the accident.

"I woke up in the hospital. I didn't know how I got there and the doctor gave me my clothes- I had a tuxedo shirt, I was dreaming...." Justin listened, frowning at the reality of the situation. 

Brian watched Justin, looking at his face, recognizing the slightly faraway look in his eyes that meant he was remembering something. Looking at the clock on the DVD player, he noted they were supposed to be up in a few hours. For once he was glad that he didn't have to get up in the morning.

Justin stood up, walking to the window where he looked out at the street, wishing his mind would mirror the eerie quiet of the street. A lone sheet of paper blew slightly in the wind, but the street lights illuminated an empty street. Closing his eyes to see the dream more clearly he watched the vision as if he were an observer in the room.

_I'm in a tuxedo and I'm dancing with Daphne. We're in a hotel ball room and lots of our classmates from St. James are here. Brian walked in and told Daphne she was beautiful and asked to steal her date. We danced on the dance floor, him twirling me as everybody watched. He dipped me and kissed me on the dance floor. It was so wonderful and then I walked him to his car so I could return to the dance. I hear him yelling at me and I turn catching Chris and his bat in the corner of my eye._

Justin opened his eyes, glistening with unshed tears. He took a deep breath and turned around to look at Brian, but remained by the window. "I saw a vision of us dancing at my Prom. You looked amazing in your suit and I was wearing a Tux. I remember coming down the stairs at Debbie's house where Mom, Debbie, Lindsay, Mel, Debbie and Vic were all sitting in the living room looking up at me as I descended the stairs. It felt like I was on display. Emmett was clapping on the stairs; he helped me dress. I couldn't get the tie right. Then I was at the Prom, dancing with Daphne and you walked in. We danced and you kissed me, right there on the dance floor." Justin paused as he mentally looked at all the faces and their smiles. 

"We went to the garage. I was going to join you at the Loft, after I took Daphne home. He hit me. Chris hit me with a bat. Oh my god." Justin let the tears fall and he looked at Brian who also had tears in his eyes. His heart went out to Brian, realizing that he had been hurt at the Prom, not physically, but emotionally. He was silent for a few minutes and recomposed himself. He needed to continue, remember whatever his brain would allow. 

"That's not the only time I've worn a tux?"

Brian had wiped the tears away from his face. He didn't want this discussion to be about the Prom. Brian sat on the couch, silently listening to Justin recounting prom, their dance... the dance that Justin had forgotten. He never thought he would remember. Brian was having a hard time controlling his own emotions, but having a lot more practice than Justin was able to keep them under control. _After all this time, he had to lose 6 fucking years of memories just to remember one, although if I'm honest with myself, it's not the most important one. Remembering us is more important. When did I become a fucking lesbian?._

"That's a pretty vivid memory. I'm glad you remembered," Brian said as he smiled, trying to keep the mood light, for Justin had never remembered the prom until now and Brian found it ironic that his memory of one of the most traumatic events in his life could now be recounted with exquisite detail while he couldn't remember that he worked as a god damn stripper. _Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. His memories are returning and all those details are pretty damn significant._

Brian wanted to reach out and touch him, run his hand down his back, hold him between his legs, anything to make these memories easier to handle, but he wanted to see where Justin's mind was headed, hoping for a return of more significant ones, specifically the ones involved in his passion, his painting. He sat forward on the couch and let Justin remember, but he was ready in case his partner needed him. 

Brian watched Justin for any sign of discomfort or pain. Knowing how many times Justin had really worn a tuxedo in the last six years, he knew that there could be at least a dozen memories, not including the times he wore that damn shirt to ‘strip'. 

"Depends on what you consider a lot. But, yeah you do have occasion to wear one frequently."

 

Justin leaned back against the window, closing his eyes hoping to push another memory to the surface. 

 

_I'm in a tuxedo and Brian is helping me tie the tie. I hate those things. He's in a gorgeous suit, Armani I think. But why am I in a tuxedo? I ask him if I look okay and he tells me I look hot, but that I better get out of the room before he takes me out of my tuxedo. I smile at him and he kisses me softly on the lips._

As he opened his eyes, he turned around again, staring out the window this time, unsure of the exact nature of the memory. "I never have gotten that tie thing down. You like me in a tuxedo," Justin said as he remembered the gentle kiss.

"You look hot," Brian said, wondering where this was going. "I take it you had another memory. Care to share or do I get to play twenty questions?" Brian noted that Justin failed to turn toward him and wondered exactly what he was remembering.

"I'm in a tuxedo and you're tying my tie. You tell me to get out there, but I'm not sure what out there is. And .... I guess you aren't going to tell me what "out there" is? Right Brian?"

"Let's deal with the memories you do have. You seem to be remembering a lot of information," Brian said as he smiled a reassuring smile.

Frowning at Brian's answer, but not surprised by the response, Justin said, "Okay."

Brian waited for Justin to continue. He knew his partner had remembered the "birthday party gig" and knew that memory would be coming soon. Hopefully Justin would remember enough of the information and wouldn't ask Brian to fill in the blanks. 

"Any more memories?"

Justin turned around and leaned against the window, closing his eyes again, pushing the memories to the forefront.

_I'm in a tuxedo at an awards banquet. Brian is standing on the podium. I look around and Cynthia and Ted are at the table, but I don't know anyone else_.

He looked at Brian and said, "Yeah. We're at an awards banquet and you're accepting some award. I'm sitting with Ted and Cynthia. Is there any significance to that one?"

Brian shrugged. He'd long since finished his third shot but wasn't willing to refill his drink again. _Back in the day, I would have continued to drink, but in the past, I wouldn't have encouraged a discussion with Justin. Things have truly changed._ "We go to a lot of banquets and Kinnetik as well as I have won many awards. So who knows. Are we done yet? This trip down memory lane is..."

Justin held up his hand, signaling to Brian to stop talking. "No, we're not done. What about the vision I had in Babylon? The one where I was stripping and you were in the audience."

_The moment of truth_ "What about it?"

Justin thought back to earlier that night when he watched the Go Go dancers on the platform and closed his eyes to see the vision clearer.

 

_I'm in a tuxedo and I'm dancing, well almost stripping in front of a group of men. They're placing tips in my thong, lots of tips. I'm talking to a man who is trying to pick me up and then I see Brian._

"Shit!!!" Justin said as he turned toward Brian again. "I remember that night. You were supposed to be at the hotel and I was going to meet you. You weren't going to talk to me at the party. You were mad."

Brian felt chills going down his body. Justin was remembering the events leading up to the accident. _Maybe I'll get answers to my questions._

Looking at Justin, he recognized the knowing look in his eyes, the look he got when he did something that he knew Brian wouldn't like. 

"How did you think I would respond? My partner was out there dancing for a group of strangers," he said, trying to tamper the anger down, but failing. 

"It was just a job," Justin said as he walked around the Loft, unable to stand Brian's obvious anger seething beneath the surface.

"You had a job. You told me you were waiting tables. What the fuck happened to that?" 

Brian watched Justin walking around the loft, recognizing his unease, but unwilling to address it at that moment. In the back of his mind, he knew he shouldn't be asking Justin questions and having this conversation. Justin was remembering the events prior to his accident and they should be focusing on that rather than having an argument about the dancing, but Brian didn't always do what he should do and this time was no exception.

Stopping in his tracks, Justin turned toward Brian and said quietly, "It wasn't working. I was either working or sleeping and I didn't have time to paint and I didn't have enough money to pay the bills. So Jake...." 

Justin stopped when he thought of Jake. Jake's picture came to his mind easily, he could see them sitting in his apartment and laughing. 

"Brian, does Jake know where I am? He must be worried sick. I need to call him." 

Justin moved to get his phone that was lying on the kitchen island, but Brian moved toward him and stopped his hand from picking up the phone.

Laying his hand on Justin's hand, he said, "Jake knows about the accident and he knows where you are."

Justin nodded slightly. "Okay. Thanks, I guess."

"You were saying...."Brian said, the mix of impatience and anger thinly veiled in his voice. They stood next to each other but Brian stepped back to give Justin room to tell his story. He didn't think this was a time to be face to face.

Justin walked around the room again, sensing Brian's anger and wanting to avoid being close. He knew that Brian would never hurt him, but sometimes his words could be just as strong as a physical blow. 

"Jake's been doing this gig for a long time. He turned me on to the company. I could make a lot of money and not work a lot of hours. It was a great solution." Justin's voice was animated as he told this part of the story. Justin was surprised that he had the information so readily at his fingertips, but as he explained the situation to Brian he wasn't sure if the explanation was satisfactory.

Brian pinched his forehead between his eyes, the strain of the conversation and the revelation finally taking its toll and he could feel the headache forming behind his eyes. 

"And you weren't going to tell me about the new job? I had to find out by seeing you in person. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was to see you up there? One of my customers took me to the party... Said I would enjoy the show. By the way, I distinctly **did not** enjoy the show." Brian's voice was a mixture of anger and anguish, an interesting combination.

"I'm sorry, Brian. I didn't think it would be a big deal. It was a win-win situation. I would earn money so I could continue to paint and pay my bills."

"Sorry is bullshit, Justin. Why didn't you just ask me for the money?"

Justin stopped short, realizing what he'd just said. He slapped his hand against his forehead. 

"Oh my god. I'm an artist. I paint. That's why I'm in New York and you're here. Jesus Brian. Why didn't you tell me?" He grabbed the bar stool by the island and hoisted himself into the seat, no longer having the emotional strength to stand. "No wonder the painting looked familiar. I painted it." 

Justin looked around the loft as if it was his first visit and saw many paintings on the walls that were his. Looking at Brian standing in the middle of the room, Justin's heart melted. 

Brian felt the tears forming in his eyes. Justin had all the pieces to his life. Well at least the important ones. Unaware, he raised his eyes upward and quietly said, "thank you." 

Justin walked over to Brian where he stood in the middle of the room and hugged him while gently kissing him. 

"It all makes sense. We're together but we live in separate cities." Justin continued to kiss Brian and Brian opened his mouth to return the familiar kiss. 

"Twat," Brian said as he kissed his partner back, thankful that he had all the important parts of Justin, not just a select few.

"I'm an artist, a fucking artist, not a stripper. Oh my god. Brian.... I'm so, so...." Justin yawned as well and put his head down on Brian's shoulder.

Brian ran his hands up and down Justin's back in a calming manner. He no longer stifled the yawn that had been fighting to come forward for the two hours. The adrenaline he'd been living off of for the last week was slowly ebbing from his body and he felt like he would have been pushed over by Gus due to his extreme fatigue. 

Recognizing the need for sleep before they continued their discussion, he said, "Don't, just don't, Justin. We'll talk tomorrow. Right now we both need some sleep. Let's go to bed. We can continue this discussion later. However, we are far from done walking down memory lane." 

Yawning he said, "Okay. We can talk some more after we've slept." Justin felt the adrenaline coursing through his body start to dissipate.

"I never thought I would willingly agree to talk to you, but yeah, we need to talk. Now that you have your memory back, there are a lot of things we need to discuss."

"I can't wait," Justin said the sarcasm evident in his voice.

"And an appropriate punishment will be rendered for your irresponsible behavior."

"Brian...." Justin whined.

Brian walked to the bed, stripping his clothing off. Pulling back the blankets he got into bed. Justin followed suit and scooted up to Brian where Brian draped his arm around Justin's torso before both men fell fast asleep.


	24. It seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time

Brian woke first and lay there holding Justin until his bladder was screaming for relief. Gently he released his hold on his partner and went to the bathroom. After finishing his morning routine he made his way into the living room and located his phone.

 

"Hello Brian. How was Babylon?" Jennifer was sitting at the kitchen table as she enjoyed reading the paper and drinking her morning cup of coffee. She was glad to hear from Brian but was slightly surprised to hear from him this early in the day. 

 

"Jennifer, I don't think I would have ever envisioned the day when you asked me about my night at Babylon. My, how things have changed."

 

"Brian...."

 

"Fine. The trip was fine, perhaps better than fine. Justin has remembered that he's an artist." Brian walked around to the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out his Guava juice. 

 

Jennifer closed her hand into a fist and shot it up in the air in a victory pose. "That's wonderful. You must be thrilled; he remembers being an artist and that you two are together," she paused to take a deep breath before asking, "so when will he be going back?"

 

Brian took a drink of his juice and sat down on the bar stool. "I'm not sure. He still doesn't remember the accident."

 

"What do you mean, Brian? How does the accident relate to whether Justin can return to New York? As a mother I certainly want to protect him, but accidents can happen anywhere." She frowned and took another sip of her coffee as she continued the conversation. "You brought him home because he was vulnerable. That's not the case anymore."

 

"True. His memories have returned, well at least the important ones. Although, there's still the little issue of him working in the restaurant."

 

"Yes. But I thought that was because he didn't remember that he painted. He did work in a restaurant. What the hell is going on!!" she said, hearing the hesitation in Brian's voice, this getting her ire up.

 

"Your son decided that working in a restaurant was insufficient to pay his bills so he became a "birthday stripper" to make more money. Seems that it allowed him more time to work on his painting while giving him sufficient money to live," Brian said, making no attempt at hiding his disdain.

 

The silence on the phone was difficult for both parties. "A stripper... Are you sure?" she asked. She wanted to ask a million questions, but she understood Brian and his reticence to talk, and didn't want to push her "son in law". She was thankful he had shared this much with her.

 

"Unfortunately, yes. I had the distinct displeasure of seeing him perform."

 

Jennifer gasped and put her hand to her mouth. "You saw him? How? When? Why didn't you say anything?"

 

"Seems that he was the **entertainment** at a birthday party I was invited to by one of my clients. Remember how you couldn't figure out why he was taking a cab? Well, I saw him at the party, but didn't want to discuss the issue there, so he promised to take a cab to my hotel as soon as he was finished. We still had the weekend to spend together and we were both eager to see each other. I hadn't seen him in 2 weeks."

 

"I'm sorry, Brian." Jennifer said as she blocked out a picture that was trying to form in her mind of Justin stripping. She would not allow her mind to envision such an act. "But you didn't get to talk. He was in the accident," she said, quietly, the full impact of the accident's significance coming to the forefront.

 

"Yes."

 

"And he remembered all this from going to Babylon?"

 

"He had a flashback when he saw the go-go dancers. It all came back to him last night when we came home." Brian pinched the bridge of his nose, a small headache threatening to cause havoc with his morning.

 

"Thank you for telling me." Jennifer shook her head in acknowledgement. Her heart went out to both men; having a better understanding of Brian's reluctance to let Justin return to New York and Justin's predicament. "I know this must be hard for you. But at least, he has most of his memories back. Where is he? I imagine he doesn't know that you're talking to me."

 

"Sleeping. He's exhausted. Don't expect us to be around for dinner tonight. He's supposed to go with Daphne for lunch this afternoon. I think that might be a good idea. We have a lot to sort out, but ...."

 

"I'm here whenever you need me. Thank you for taking care of him." She attempted to assure him with her words of support.

 

"I'm his partner, Jennifer. That's what partners do. I could strangle him right now, but I won't. The little twat doesn't seem to understand the meaning of ask for help. He can be quite stubborn."

 

Jennifer chuckled at Brian's loving, but annoyed comments. That was her son, she knew very well the turmoil his stubbornness and determination could cause. She would gladly take care of Justin and never let him live anywhere else, but she was glad that she didn't have to see Justin's ups and downs.

 

"Thank you for calling Brian. I can't say this enough, but I'm very glad he has you. Please call me if you need anything else." Jennifer hung up the phone and walked to the fridge to pull out the eggs for breakfast. Her life was beginning to resemble normality again and she could return to worrying about Molly, and her teenage angst. Molly would be turning 18 in a few weeks and Brian had volunteered to take her to Babylon. She wondered exactly what went on at the popular dance club if it resulted in Justin remembering the events leading up to the accident. She had a hard time forming the words, even in her mind, of Justin as an entertainer and concentrated on making a perfect omelet for Molly. 

 

Brian said his goodbyes and hung up the phone and decided that the Guava juice would not cut it this morning. He needed more substantial food. Quietly he went to the bedroom and grabbed a pair of jeans and a button down shirt, his wallet and cell phone along with his car keys and walked out the door. He drove to Affogato and ordered his favorite low fat latte, a hot chocolate for Justin (knowing the twats preference for sweets) and 4 Blueberry Scones. He and Justin often went there when he was in town as Justin enjoyed seeing the local artist's work that hung in the establishment.

 

After making his way back to the Loft, Brian put the bag on the island and checked on Justin, who was still sleeping soundly in their bed. Walking to his computer, he booted it up and signed in to his email account from Kinnetik. He'd been reading for at least a half hour when he heard rustling from the bedroom. He had three emails to finish reading and judged that he probably had time to at least open them before Justin made his way to the living room. Justin took a while to wake up in the morning and unlike Brian, was incoherent for at least the first thirty minutes after awakening. He finished answering the last email when he felt Justin's presence by his computer. Looking up, he smiled at Justin and signed off from the program.

 

"Morning, sleepy head. There are blueberry scones and a hot chocolate on the island." Brian pointed to the island and watched Justin walk towards them. He always did like that view and today was no different. Thinking about other men viewing Justin did not make him happy but he couldn't change anything, just needed to address the future.

 

Justin took out the scones and placed them on a plate. "These are good. Are these from Affogatto's? I love that place, but they are expensive. You know, starving artist and all." The minute he said the words, he regretted them and quickly looked down at his plate as if there was a feast there instead of a simple scone.

 

Brian sat in the adjacent stool and took a bite of his scone as well. "They are good." Brian's absence of additional comments made Justin uneasy and he did not look at his partner until he finished his breakfast. "I'm going to get dressed."

 

"Justin...."

 

He'd started to walk toward the bedroom, but turned around when Brian called his name. 

 

"Come out here when you're done. We've got to talk."

 

"Okay." Justin walked to the bedroom and found a pair of cargo pants and a t-shirt and returned to the living area where he sat on the couch. He waited for Brian to join him but when he didn't he figured he's start the conversation. "I'm sorry."

 

"Sorry's bullshit Justin. Yeah, I know we talked about that just a few days ago, but in this instance, the sentiment is real. Saying your sorry doesn't change the facts. If only you had asked me for the money, you wouldn't have been stripping and then ...." He left the scenario unfinished, both men knowing the end result. 

 

"I know. I should have said something, but I didn't want to ask for money. I know you would have given it to me, but I ...."

 

The buzzer rang, announcing a visitor and this time Justin was more thankful than ever to be interrupted. 

 

Brian pressed the buzzer. "Who is it?"

 

"It's me Daphne. I know I was supposed to pick up Justin at his mom's, but I thought I'd come here and see how you were doing before I went there. Can I come up?"

 

"I'll buzz you."

 

Brian looked at Justin and said, "Your fag hag comes to the rescue again. Go eat your lunch with Daphne but we will be finishing this conversation later."

 

"Brian..."

 

"Justin," Brian said as he pinched the bridge of his nose, the headache starting to pound. "Go. Run along and have some juicy talks with Ms. Chanders. I have work to do and I think I'll go in to Kinnetik this afternoon."

 

Brian let Daphne into the loft when the elevator reached his floor. "Justin just woke up so I haven't had a chance to take him to Mother Taylor's. He's all yours," Brian said with a sweeping gesture of his hand. 

 

Daphne looked at Justin and then at Brian and saw the tension between the two men. She knew better than to ask as theirs was a complicated relationship even in the best of times. "Any time I should have him back or should I take him to his mom's?"

 

Justin fumed at the way Brian was acting, and that Daphne was going along with it (at least Daphne had an excuse), "Hey!" he said, looking at Brian with his most angry stare. "I'm right here. You may be mad at me, but I'm still right here."

 

"Uh, hey guys. I can come back another time. Seems that you two are in the middle of something," she said, feeling caught between them.

 

"That's okay Daphne. Let me gather my stuff and we'll leave. I'll tell you all about it over lunch." Justin went to the bedroom and put on his socks and shoes and gathered his messenger bag. "Let's go." He walked over to Brian, not sure what his reaction would be.

 

Brian's face softened, he wasn't mad at Justin, only mad at the situation. Ever since Justin went to New York, actually ever since that stupid article that said Justin should be in New York. Brian leaned down and bestowed a kiss on Justin's lips, no tongue, but still lingering and sweet.

 

"Later," he said.

 

Justin smiled at the familiar word and knew that Brian was okay and more importantly that they were okay. "Later," he said and he opened the door allowing Daphne to walk out before he followed her.

 

They traveled in the elevator in silence and it wasn't until they reached her car that she couldn't wait any longer. "What was that about? You guys were staring daggers at each other."

 

"He's mad. I remembered a lot last night including the fact that I'd been stripping to earn money in New York. Evidently Brian was at a birthday party that I was the "entertainment" for and he was not happy," Justin said as he opened the car door and placed his messenger bag in the back.

 

"Jesus Justin. Tell me you are exaggerating. You were not stripping for money?" Daphne asked as she put the key in the ignition.

 

Justin put on his seat belt and said, "Well yeah,.... I was." He looked at his best friend, silently pleading for her understanding and to be nonjudgmental of his actions. "I needed the money. I couldn't pay my bills and paint and since I was in New York to paint, I needed something. Jake told me about this company, really legit - he dances for them too and I tried it. It's easy money and I have time to paint."

 

"Justin. I can't believe you would do that. I mean, didn't you learn your lesson with the Sap? Why didn't you ask Brian for the money? He would have given it to you." She stared at him with a look of confusion on her face, and waited for an answer. "Justin. You really were stripping?"

 

"Yeah," Justin said when he saw Daphne's face. He looked out the window of the car, understanding his friend would most likely not be as nonjudgmental as he'd hoped.

 

"Where we going? I was thinking of a new vegan restaurant on the edge of Liberty Avenue," Daphne asked, choosing to ignore the imminent discussion. She didn't want to talk in front of Brian's loft. Instead, she backed out of the parking space and merged into traffic. 

 

"Whatever. I'm not really hungry." Justin slumped in the seat as he felt a feeling of dread come over him. He'd hoped Daphne would be on his side, but now it appeared she didn't support his solution either.

 

"Justin Taylor you will be eating lunch," she said in a stern voice.

 

"I just finished eating two scones. Remember, Brian said I just got up," 

 

Taking a breath, Daphne felt her ire coming down as she realized she didn't have to lecture her best friend. "Okay. Why don't we go to the mall first? I want to look for some picture frames I'm going to hang in my office. By the way, I open my office in two weeks and I fully expect that you will be there to help celebrate."

 

"The mall it is. And... Well, I can't really say where I'll be in two weeks, but I will try to be there."

 

"Justin Taylor, there is no try. You will be there!!!"

 

"Okay, I'll be there."

 

"Good, that's settled. Now on to the mall." She signaled to get on the highway and surreptitiously watched Justin out of the corner of her eye for several minutes before starting the conversation up again.

 

"So, explain to me why you didn't ask Brian for the money?"

 

"He's been helping me for years and this year I decided that if I couldn't do this on my own, I needed to come home. I didn't want to admit failure so I figured this was a good solution. I could have time to paint, support myself and see if I could really do this. If not, I would come home a failure and I wanted Brian to be proud of me." Justin looked out the window as he recited his explanation. He was thankful that they were in a car and he didn't have to look into her face to explain his thoughts.

 

"I see. So after two years you decided it was time."

 

"Yeah I guess."

 

"How long were you doing the stripping? And did you paint? At least tell me you got some painting done." Daphne signaled to get off the highway and took the ramp to the mall. She drove to a parking spot close to the office supply store and turned off the car. She undid her seatbelt and looked at Justin. "Don't lie to me, Justin. I've known you forever and I can see the lies in your eyes."

 

"I was working for about 2 months and I had a lot of time to paint. I finally had enough paintings to show my agent. So, yeah, dancing gave me the time I needed to paint."

 

"Now what are you going to do?"

 

"I don't know. I can't go back to stripping - Brian would kill me. But if I don't do that, I can't paint. I'm screwed." Justin turned toward his best friend and reached out to her for a hug. "What am I going to do, Daph?"

 

Daphne hugged him back and squeezed his torso. "Well first thing we're going to do is find my frames and then we're going to eat some awesome veggie lasagna. While we do that, we will figure out a way for this to work."

 

"Really? You have a solution?" Justin asked hopefully.

 

"I don't have a solution, but I have some thoughts. We'll talk at lunch."

 

Justin let go of Daphne and reached for the door. "Thank you, Daph. I owe you."

 

"Pay me with your attendance at my opening. That will be thanks enough. Now let's go get my frames and then eat lunch. I know you aren't hungry but I am," She said as she dropped the keys in her purse.

 

Justin smiled for the first time that morning and realized he had great friends.

 

TBC


	25. The Talk

Daphne and Justin spent an enjoyable afternoon together and Justin enjoyed the company of his long time friend. She was the type of friend that you could talk to even if you hadn't spoken to in months or seen in years. Prior to the accident, Justin had been in New York and hadn't seen his best friend for over two months, but their laughter and familiarity belied their lack of daily interaction.

 

"I hate to do this, Jus, but I've got to take you back. It's been wonderful seeing you and I'm sure everything will work out," She said as she gave him a hug in the car.

 

"I had a great time, Daph. Thanks for taking me. I'm so glad that I remembered so much. I can't imagine what it's been like for Brian. I mean I didn't even know we were together at first. It was really weird watching him and my mom. They were together, conspiring and all I remembered was her not liking him. I'm so glad that they do like each other now."

 

"Your mom's great. She loves Brian and she knows he makes you happy. That's all she ever wanted; you to be happy."

 

"I know. While I do remember a lot of things, there are still holes there. I'm sure the memories will come back soon. Well, at least I hope they do. And if they don't, maybe now that I remembered that I'm an artist and Brian and I are together he might be willing to fill in the blanks," Justin said as he smiled at the memory of telling Brian they were a couple. Justin found the CD case and flipped through it searching for a CD he might want to hear. "Are you going to take me to the loft or to my mom's?"

 

"Where do you want to go?"

 

Justin picked out a CD and placed it in the slot, waiting for the car to be turned on before it would load. "I guess it's time to face Brian. I've been thinking about our conversation at lunch. You'll make a great therapist."

 

Daphne gave Justin's hand a squeeze. "I've been doing therapy with you for years. Difference is, you don't always listen," she said as she laughed at her own joke.

 

"We really are fucked up, aren't we?" 

"Who's to say what's normal? You guys make it work. I'm thrilled that after 7 years you're still a couple and believe me it makes it so much easier now that Brian accepts that notion." Daphne dug in her purse for her keys and after several minutes pulled them out triumphantly. "I really need to find a better place to keep these."

 

Justin laughed as he watched his best friend. "Daphne, the only place you can keep them is in your purse unless you want to wear them around your neck and that would be a really bad fashion statement."

 

Daphne giggled. "Coming from you, that is priceless." She placed the key in the ignition and the CD loaded into the disc player where sounds of Matchbox 20 played through the speakers.

 

They drove toward the loft, too short of a drive for Justin, but long enough to start the many conversations in his head.

 

"I see the hamster running. What are you thinking?"

 

"I need to figure this thing out. The money thing and the painting and New York. It's a mess."

 

"You have some time. Brian will help," Daphne said, sure he was making the upcoming conversation into a grand drama queen moment.

 

"That's part of the problem, Daph. He will help," Justin frowned at the words, knowing they sounded whiney.

 

"Talk to him. He said you guys would talk. You've come such a long way. There was a time that Brian would rather do anything else rather than talk."

 

"True. You're the best, Daph." Justin leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Justin looked out the window and saw the familiar street. Looking around for Brian's car, he spotted it in the familiar space. "Well, Brian's home. I guess it's show time."

 

Daphne stopped the car in front of the building. She leaned over and gave Justin a kiss and a hug. "Call me. Don't forget the open house is in two weeks and you are going to be there," she said, reminding him of his earlier promise.

 

Justin got out of the car and waved as he walked to the building, punching in the security code. He took the stairs, not wanting to alert Brian to his arrival. He stood in front of the sliding metal door for a few minutes and then took his key and entered the loft.

 

"Brian. I'm home." Justin looked around the now familiar loft for his partner. The adrenaline was running through his veins as well as a little trepidation. Walking toward the kitchen, he saw Brian fixing a drink from the bar. "Make me one, too. Will you?"

 

Brian poured Justin a shot of Beam and brought the glasses to the island where he perched on a bar stool, half on and half off. "So, how was your little pow wow with your fag hag?" Brian asked, the teasing evident in his voice. 

 

Justin ignored the comment as he understood that Brian and Daphne had a great relationship and Daphne had been a big help to Brian during this whole fiasco. Daphne had shared that Brian had come back the other night after their initial visit. While she didn't tell him the specifics of the conversation, she shared how freaked out Brain was over the accident. 

 

"We had a great time. And I'm sure you enjoyed a break from your Justin monitoring and my ‘twenty questions'." Justin picked up his glass and took a small drink as he was not interested in getting drunk or even a little buzzed at this time. 

 

"I did get some work done while you were away, but Kinnetik will not close its doors if I take a few days off. Ted and Cynthia have it all under control." Brian raised his eyebrows and frowned slightly.

 

"Good to know that you trust them." Justin sat on the bar stool and kicked his feet so he could swivel. 

 

"You're not Gus. Will you please not act like an 8 year old?" Brian watched him make several rotations and then grabbed the back of the chair. 

 

"Did you miss me?" Laughing at the situation, Justin quit and leaned forward to give Brian a kiss. He moved his hand down toward Brian's crotch and palmed him. "I think you did. Want to show me how much?"

 

"I think that can be arranged." Brian returned the kiss and ran his hand down Justin's chest, landing at his crotch and reciprocating.

 

They quickly moved to the bedroom and took off their clothing where they enjoyed a quick round of sex and a blow job a piece. They lay on top of the bed and Brian drew small designs on Justin's chest with one hand. Justin allowed his mind to quit thinking and enjoyed the post coital activity. 

 

"As much as I love pounding your bubble butt, don't think that I've forgotten our little discussion," Brian said as he reached to the night stand to grab a cigarette. After taking a few puffs from the cigarette, he rolled over on his side and supported himself on his elbow. 

 

Justin ignored Brian's comment and closed his eyes as he yawned.

 

"Don't think you're fooling me Taylor. You slept really late this morning and you've only been gone for a few hours. And I happen to know that you and Ms. Chanders walked around the mall and went to eat some disgusting food. An afternoon with Daphne will not tire you out unless you hate the mall and one look at your clothing will attest to your love affair with that distasteful shopping experience." Brian leaned over to tickle Justin, but Justin sensed the move before Brian could start his torture. 

 

"Okay. Okay. No tickling. Not fair that you're immune. And for your information, the mall is a perfectly good place to shop. "

 

Brian grinned at their familiar argument but didn't offer a retort. It was sufficient Justin could banter back and forth about the topic. Brian finished his cigarette and sat up on the bed. Moving his legs apart, he motioned for Justin to sit between them, his back to Brian's stomach, recognizing this as a more neutral position for Justin. Justin complied with the unspoken request and moved into place, secretly loving this position. It might sound corny but he always felt safe in Brian's arms.

 

"It's always been expensive to live in New York," Brian said, stating the obvious and ready to hopefully address the mystery of the change in Justin's work. "What's changed? You've been there for almost two years."

 

Justin could feel the tension in Brian's body and he was glad that he couldn't see his face. Brian had never been good with putting words to his emotions, but his body language was undeniable. Justin had forgotten how much he could feel from just touching his partner. He wondered what else he had forgotten. 

 

"I've used all of the money I made from Rage. We haven't made a new issue in almost six months,... since Ben got sick." Justin had thought about the changes in his financial situation and he had realized several months ago that Rage had been instrumental in his ability to stay in New York. Without Rage and the income it generated, he was running short. 

 

"I see. So before Ben got sick, you had enough money?" Brian said, still a little skeptical that it was that straight forward.

 

"Well..."

 

"Justin. We had an agreement. Have you forgotten what we said?"

 

Justin was quiet for a few moments. They had talked before he left for New York. Brian would support him in any way so that he could have a chance at success. Brian had agreed to come visit, pay for plane tickets home and support him in lean times if needed. _‘I don't want you to worry about money. I need you to work on your painting and you can't do that if you don't have time to paint because you are working too much.' I can hear Brian's words to me as clear as the day he said them. Shit!_

 

"You said you'd help me with money," Justin said sheepishly, admitting that he remembered them.

 

"What happened?"

 

"I forgot?" Justin asked.

 

Brian decided that he really needed to see Justin's face and to hell with the gentle approach. He pulled his legs away from Justin and moved to sit beside him. He watched as Justin moved to mirror his position. 

 

"Bullshit! Justin I felt your body tense and while I couldn't see your face, I know when you're lying by feeling your body too." Brian prided himself on his ability to read people and Justin was no exception. Part of his success was reading people's body language; he just had an advantage with Justin, he could feel his body as well as read the unspoken words.

 

Justin smiled and Brian looked at him with a questioning frown.

 

"This is not funny," Brian said, wanting Justin to take the discussion seriously.

 

"No it isn't, but I was just thinking earlier that I can recognize your body language even if I can't see your face. I find it amusing that you can do the same thing."

 

"Twat." Brian smiled at Justin, despite the seriousness of the conversation. "So back to my original question. What happened?"

 

"I told you. My Rage money ran out and I needed a solution, needed to find more money and this seemed perfect." Justin rumpled the covers and played with the pillow behind him to make it fluffier, anything to diffuse the tension in the air.

 

"Damn it, Justin," Brian said as he slammed his hand down on the bed, startling Justin. "I know your Rage money ran out. What I want to know is why you didn't ask me to help you? Justin sighed and moved to get out of bed.

 

"Where the hell do you think you're going? Get back here and finish the conversation!!!"

 

"I have to pee. I'll be right back." Justin turned and moved toward the bathroom. 

 

_Fuck, Kinney. You better calm down. This is not going to get you what you want._ Brian took several deep breaths while wondering how he got to this place in his life, having a conversation with Justin about money and New York and painting. The biggest eye opener being he was angry when he thought Justin was walking away. In the past, he'd let Justin walk away, as angry as it made him, it was easier than dealing with his emotions and the situation at hand.

 

"I'm putting clothes on. If you want to continue the conversation, I'll be in the living room," he said after returning to the room and walking to his closet. Quickly dressing in the clothes he had on earlier in the day. Sitting on the couch, he picked up the remote from the TV and played with the box before putting it down when he heard Brian opening drawers in the bedroom.

 

"You've only been dancing since the Rage money ran out?" Brian asked for clarification. Brian called from the kitchen as he grabbed two waters from the fridge.

 

"Yes. I'd been fine, well fine is a relative term, but able to make it work until a few months ago. When Michael called me a few months back and told me that Ben was very ill and that he couldn't work on Rage, I freaked out. While the money isn't a lot, it made a huge difference to my budget." Justin was calm or what he thought was calm as he explained the situation. He looked at the tv rather than at Brian as he handed him the water.

 

"Why didn't you ask me for the money if it was such a little amount?" Brian asked as he nodded his head in understanding. Brian twisted off the cap as he looked at Justin, trying to look for hidden cues or nuances in his partner.

 

Justin got up from the couch and started pacing the loft, finding the conversation harder than he thought it would be. He went to the kitchen and poured a glass of milk and drank it, and then put the glass in the dishwasher. He opened the cabinets, not sure what he was looking for, but when he found a package of Oreo's he opened it and grabbed a handful of them. He ate a few and then put the rest on a plate on the island. Glancing at Brian, he saw the man sitting quietly on the couch, waiting for him. Sitting at the island, he ate another cookie and then turned to face the living area.

 

"I'm 24 years old. I've been living in New York for over 2 years and I finally decided that it was now or never. I figured if the little bit of Rage money was the difference between success and fai.... ." Justin stopped, unable to complete the word.

 

"Then I better decide what I want. I needed to give it one last push, one last opportunity to show my agent that I have what she needed and I couldn't do that if I was working all the time to pay the bills." Justin turned around and finished another cookie, allowing his words to process in Brian's head.

 

Brian watched Justin eating his cookies. He thought about what Justin said, his explanation and he understood it, even though he didn't agree with the conclusion. 

 

"So this was really a push for success?" Brian asked, making sure he understood Justin.

 

Justin finished his last cookie and walked to Brian, standing in front of him as he sat on the couch. Leaning over he gave a gentle kiss on his lips, and then sat beside him. 

 

"Yes." Justin didn't elaborate, just hoped his answer would suffice.

 

"But what, Justin. I hear the catch. But what?" Brian heard the hesitation and knew there was more to the story.

 

"I'm not sure if my agent liked the work. It really doesn't matter if I have time to paint, if the work is crap."

 

"You're work is not crap, Justin. If you're going to be like that, I think you need a new agent." Brian leaned over and gave Justin a hug and a kiss. Sweeping his hand as he motioned to the main room of the Loft, he said, "You have at least three paintings in the loft and each one of them is exquisite. So, I'm not hearing any of this nonsense. Pity makes my dick soft."

 

Justin laughed at the familiar saying. "Wouldn't do to have your dick soft."

 

 

"What aren't you telling me, Justin? Why wouldn't Carol like your work?" Brian studied his partner, reviewing the conversation, but he wasn't satisfied.

 

"Carol likes the work."

 

"Justin. Talk to me. I can see you're avoiding the question. We've known each other a very long time and I recognize Justin Taylor avoidance at its best."

 

"I gave her 8 paintings and she said they were okay, but they didn't have their normal vibe... Whatever the hell vibe is to a painting."

 

"But I thought you said you had more time to paint. I'm really not following you, Sunshine. Why don't we start at the beginning and you can explain it again, this time with the whole truth thrown in for good measure." Brian said as he looked at his partner seeing the hesitation in his face.

 

Justin didn't like the scrutiny, recognized that Brian could sense his half truths. He couldn't sit next to Brian when he told him the whole truth; therefore, he got up and walked around the room as he spoke.

 

"I had it all planned out. You were going to come see me that weekend- the weekend of the party... I was going to come to your hotel room and I was going to tell you I wanted to come home." He glanced at Brian out of the corner of his eye and winced when he saw the restlessness and fury in his partner.

 

"You were going to do what? What the fuck, Justin? Why do you want to come home?" Brian reeled at the statement; it was so unexpected. Brian picked up the remote and started playing with it as Justin had done earlier. He put it down and then took a last drink from his water bottle and then started throwing it from one hand to the other.

 

He continued his explanation but did not return to the couch, preferring to walk from the window to the liquor cart. He arranged the bottles just a few inches and then moved the glasses to form a pattern and then replaced them to their original set up.

 

"I told you that I wanted to push myself; that I started dancing so I could paint a lot of canvases and see if I could make it."

 

Brian nodded his affirmation.

 

"Well I left out a big part. I started painting and for the first time since I was there I had a lot of time on my hands, more time than I ever had in two years. For the last two years, I was so caught up in the notion of ‘ I got to find time to paint so I can make it big', that the time became more important than the actual painting. 

 

‘The painting was important. Don't believe it wasn't. But the time I spent painting was an afterthought. I had bills to pay and work to do that my painting really took back seat. 

 

"When I finally had the time I wanted and needed to devote to my art, I realized that I was missing something. Something huge. When an artist paints, it's an expression of life, of the emotions and experiences that are occurring or have occurred in their life. When I was in New York, I was so caught up in the process of meeting my most basic needs that my creativity wasn't there. I was living in New York but I wasn't LIVING. My life is here. You are here." Justin continued to play with the bottles and glasses on the liquor cart, appearing intent on getting the set up in an unknown fixed position.

 

"That doesn't make sense, Justin. You see me at least every two weeks. And as I pointed out, these pictures in this room alone are exquisite." Brian made a sweeping motion with his hand as he gestured to all of Justin's work in the Loft.

 

"You're talking in circles, maybe the knock to your head...." Brian listened to Justin and his mind quickly ran over the last year in his head. While he couldn't remember each visit to New York, he could picture Justin in his normal frenzy and then he back tracked and pushed to remember his life before New York. Justin had more time and was definitely more relaxed.

 

"Brian. I'm fine. The knock on my head did nothing to my brain; well it did scramble it for a few days, but that isn't it." Justin smiled as he realized that he remembered everything so clearly. "All these paintings I painted while I lived here or when I spent extended time in the Pitts- holidays or summer break with you and Gus." 

 

He walked to the painting over the TV and said, "This one I painted the first Christmas I was home. Since I didn't even have an agent and wasn't going to many places, I spent over a month here."

 

"That one I painted last summer when Gus was here for an extended visit. You know when the girls went on that retreat and then Linds had the conference in Chicago." He pointed to the painting that hung above their bed.

 

"When I sat down to do a series of canvases in New York I was uninspired. I had more time than I'd had in ages, but nothing that I wanted to paint. I realized that it isn't about money or bills, but it's really about us." Justin had stopped pacing the living area and had settled for standing by the window as he looked out the large picture window seeing the hustle and bustle of the street below. 

 

"My life in New York had been an internal race to get through the next task, whether that was finishing my shift or going to a gallery. I was going through the motions, not living. Every day I woke up thinking that I was x number of days till I went home again. My life became the in betweens of visits home." Justin looked at Brian, hoping that his words penetrated and more importantly hoping Brian accepted his situation. Justin walked over to where Brian sat on the couch and grabbed his hands.

 

"I love you. Don't you see, my paintings need you. I need you."

 

"You're saying that you can't paint when you have lots of time because I'm not there to inspire you?" Brian asked for clarification.

 

"You understand," Justin said as he smiled a big Sunshine smile for Brian.

 

"I'm not saying I understand anything, what I do think is that you deserve some punishment for your little shenanigans." Brian smiled as he developed a gleam in his eye. Brian pulled Justin over his lap and pulled down his sweats. His hand was poised to slap his bubble butt.

 

"Oh," they heard and looked up at their unexpected guest.

 

 

TBC


	26. For the Love of Oreos

"What the fuck, Lindsay? There is a buzzer for a reason." Brian quickly pulled up Justin's sweats and pushed him to the couch.

 

"Hi Daddy. Hi Justin. Mommy and me were at The Center and I wanted to see you. We didn't get to paint last time I was here and you promised," Gus said as he rushed in before Lindsay could warn them.

 

"Sorry," Linsday mouthed silently.

 

Brian and Justin stared daggers at her, but after looking at Gus who didn't appear to have seen anything, their anger lessened a little.

 

"Gus, it looks like Daddy and Justin were busy. Why don't we come back another time?"

 

"I want to paint, now." He ran over to Justin, lunging at him and giving him a huge hug. "I love to paint with my Justin and he promised."

 

Justin hugged Gus back and looked at Brian for guidance. Brian didn't say a word, leaving it up to Justin. 

 

"Okay, buddy. Painting it is. Let's go make some masterpieces." Justin stood up, leaving Lindsay and Brian in the living room. He and Gus walked toward the corner where Justin had a fold up easel stored and he reached toward the shelf in the closet to pull down the paints. He didn't have to think where the items were located and he was happy for the return of those memories as well.

 

 

"I'm sorry. Gus was so insistent; I'd forgotten that you said he didn't remember he was an artist," Lindsay said as she shrugged slightly.

 

Brian gave her an incredulous look, not believing her words for a minute. Lindsay's manipulations were far too many to ignore, but since she was the mother of his son and he did want Gus in his life, he frequently reminded himself to take any and all actions with an examination of her motives, those spoken and unspoken, and act accordingly. Today, her actions were to discern how significant Justin's limitations were and to figure out how to turn them into her advantage. Brian didn't trust her motives and her appearance here solidified his suspicions. 

 

"Look at them painting in the corner. It's just like it was the last time he visited. I'm sure he's thrilled. When is he returning to New York?" She smiled, the question appearing innocent and unpretentious, realizing the return of his memory would mean he would be leaving sooner rather than later. "I'm sure he's anxious to get back and paint."

 

"Yes, he has remembered he's an artist. I'm sure he will enjoy creating something with Gus. Now, why don't you go do whatever it is you do and leave Gus here? We'll bring him back after dinner," Brian said as he walked toward the sliding door. Opening the door, he practically pushed Lindsay out. "And next time, use the buzzer."

 

"Okay," she said as she blushed slightly, recognizing that she could have walked in on far worse. "That is what bedrooms are for," she said in way of reminding Brian.

 

"And couches, and chairs, and islands, and .... ," he said as he closed the door, not allowing her a retort.

 

Justin split his attention to mixing some paints for Gus and listening to the conversation between Lindsay and Brian. He got a fresh sheet of paper out for Gus and hung it on the easel and put an old button down shirt over his clothes before handing him the brush. 

 

"Why don't you paint a new picture? I'm going to talk to your Daddy for a minute, but I'll be right back." Justin smiled and patted his shoulder before he walked over to Brian and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

 

"I don't think he saw anything. That would have been hard to explain," Justin whispered, careful not to talk loudly in Gus' presence.

 

"Lindsay can be a real cunt sometimes. I could have been deep in your ass and you know when I'm there, I tend to forget everything else." Brian made a large grin as he looked at Justin.

 

"You say the sweetest things," Justin said as he blushed a little.

 

"Amazing I can still make you blush, but regardless, it appears we didn't scar the young boy for life. I think that deadbolt we were discussing at your last visit needs to become a reality. Especially if you're coming back here."

 

"So I can come back?" Justin asked excitedly.

 

Brian shook his head, and tilted it toward Gus. "We haven't finished our discussion, but now's not the time. You have a budding artist to attend to and I have a deadbolt to order." Brian placed his hand on Justin's back and aimed him toward Gus, but not before he kissed his forehead lightly. 

 

"You really have been working hard. Do you want to be an artist when you grow up?" Gus had painted one of the apples from the bowl on the island. Justin was pleased to see his talent; Lindsay's artistic talent was obviously passed on to his her son.

 

"I want to be just like you and Daddy when I grow up. I'm going to paint pretty pictures and sell them to everyone," Gus announced. "And I'm going to be really rich and buy all the desserts I want." Gus got a dreamy look in his eyes as he continued. "And you know what else I'm going do? I'm going to have a big house and a jet and lots of cool clothes and a Kinect and my own computer, and..."

 

"Woah, Sonny boy. Let's finish first grade before you wish you plan your whole life. You've got plenty of time to buy stuff."

 

"Coming from the king of acquisitions, that is priceless," Justin said.

 

"What is acqui....?"

 

"Acquisitions are things you buy and your father likes to buy many things."

 

"Oh. Okay. I love to shop for toys. Tell you what Daddy, as soon as I finish painting, you and I can go buy some new acquisitions," Gus added enthusiastically. He was proud he could say the new word.

 

"Not so fast, little man." Both men laughed at his eagerness. "I think you have plenty of toys for now. After you finish painting, maybe we'll go down to the park and kick the soccer ball and if you want, we can go to the diner to see Grandma Debbie."

 

"Okay," Gus said a little disappointed. "Can I get a shake when I go the diner? She makes me the best shakes in all the world."

 

"Are you sure he is not your child? He sure eats like he inherited your genes?" Brian said as he teased his partner. Turning toward Gus, he said, "I think that can be arranged. Now go wash up and I'll find your soccer ball."

 

Justin helped Gus clean up his art tools and left the paper on the easel to dry. Gus hung up the painting shirt and looked around the art area for the first time.

 

"Justin, where are your paintings? I like the rainbow one you were making last time."

 

"I finished it and gave it to your mom for the GLC. I think it's in the day care. Did you like that one?" Justin said as he realized he remembered the painting and didn't have to pull the information from his brain. He fluffed Gus' hair. "Hey, Brian. Your son wants to know where the pretty rainbow picture I was painting went. I think you may have a budding artist. Can you inherit traits by osmosis?" he asked as he yelled toward Brian who was in the kitchen area.

 

Brian grinned but didn't respond to the comment.

 

"It had pretty colors, but I wouldn't want it for my room. Can you paint me a picture for my room?"

 

"Sure, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to do it. What kind of picture do you want? A car, a spaceship? A soccer ball?"

 

Gus thought for a few minutes, putting his thumb to his teeth, looking just like a miniature Brian. Justin smiled at the familiar pose and hoped he would see it more often. Brian watched his two favorite people in the whole world interact and realized he would love for Justin to move back but he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. 

 

"Can you make all three? That would be a cool picture."

 

"I'll make a sketch of it for you and then you can see if you like what I come up with? How about that buddy?" Justin ruffled his hair again, thrilled to be asked to paint something personal for Gus.

 

"Daddy, Justin's gonna paint a picture for my room. Do you think Mommy and Momma will let him paint the wall instead? That would be so cool. All my friends would be jealous. I would have all the cool stuff. Maybe he could paint me in the picture. I could be a race car driver or an astronaut. I could race my car on the moon. That would be awesome." Gus stared into space for a few minutes thinking of another future, but then piped in. "Nope, I want to be rich and buy all the desserts I want. Let's go to the soccer park. Maybe I'll be a famous soccer player and the crowds cheer me everywhere I go." Gus picked up the soccer ball and walked toward the door.

 

Justin and Brian shook their heads and laughed.

 

"He's your kid," Justin said. "Soon he'll want to play soccer dressed in Armani. Does Armani make athletic clothes?"

 

"He's more your kid. All he wants to do is eat desserts." 

 

They gave each other a quick kiss on the lips and followed Gus to the park. They enjoyed an hour at the park and Justin had his ever present sketch book out as Brian and Gus kicked the ball around. Gus walked over to Justin when they were done and turned so he could see what he was drawing.

 

"That's me and Daddy. I like it when you're with Daddy. He's sad when you're not here." Gus sat down on the bench, and took a drink from his water bottle.

 

"Really? Why is he sad? How do you know he's sad?" Justin put down his sketch pad on the bench and turned toward Gus, giving him his full attention.

"He doesn't smile, well not much and when he does smile, it's only a little smile, like he's pretendin. But when you're here, he smiles all the time and he and I go do lots of cool stuff."

 

Both men were a little surprised at Gus' statement, but Justin saw Brian nodding his head in agreement. Brian stood next to the bench and held the soccer ball in his hands. Gus watched them and was happy they seemed to agree with his statement. 

 

"Justin, will you come stay with my Daddy? We could paint all the time. It would be so cool." Gus gave him a hug, looking up into Justin's eyes.

 

"It would be nice to be here and see you and your Daddy more, but I'd have to talk to your Daddy about it." Justin enjoyed the warm feeling from the hug, even if Gus was a little sweaty. Hugs from Gus were so different than hugs from Brian and he realized again how much he was missing by living in New York.

 

Gus let go of Justin and sat a few inches away so he could see Justin's face. He looked at his dad for help, but sensed his father wouldn't be adding any words of wisdom to what Justin said. He hit his thighs softly, an effort to calm his worry.

 

"Why would you need to talk? That's silly. You want Daddy happy and I know you like painting with me. You always say you miss us when you're in New York. Daddy says you paint in New York and that's why you have to be there, but you paint when I'm here. Why can't you paint your pretty pictures here?"

 

Brian had been intently listening to the conversation. Seems Justin had a co-conspirator who also wanted him to return to Pittsburgh. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how he viewed the situation, this wasn't the time or place to talk about the situation. He dropped the ball and dribbled it with his feet, his soccer skills immediately kicking in.

 

"I seem to remember someone wanting a milkshake. Let's say we all go to see Grandma Debbie. I bet she can make you a big shake and I bet Justin would like a big ole cheeseburger and some fries too."

 

"Can I have a cheeseburger and fries too, Daddy? Soccer makes me hungry. Aren't you hungry?"

 

"I guess I am a little hungry. Maybe I could eat a turkey sandwich or a salad."

 

"You know Daddy, you eat funny. Like my moms. Why don't you eat like Justin or Uncle Mikey? I've never seen you eat a burger. Don't you like burgers? They're the best."

 

"Right, Gus. They are the best, but you're Dad likes to watch what he eats. Burgers and shakes aren't healthy and when you get to be your Dad's age, you have to watch what you eat," Justin said, tongue in cheek. Justin liked teasing Brian about his age, but knew he was on thin ground as it was with the bombshell he'd dropped earlier today. He knew he was safe in his teasing with Gus around, but he knew Brian didn't forget and he was probably in for more punishment with his last remark. His cock tightened a little in his pants as he thought of the spanking he started to receive before Gus and Lindsay interrupted them.

 

Brian noticed the little blush as Justin mentioned eating and gave Justin a once over as he licked his lips anticipating eating one of his favorite treats. Gus was too young to catch their innuendo, so Brian decided to have a little fun.

 

"I have to watch everything that goes in my mouth. I don't eat burgers, but I do love meat. But, I have a particular fondness for cream filled treats." 

 

Justin blushed. He knew what Brian was saying, but had to be careful around Gus.

 

"You must be very careful what you put in your body. Your Daddy does love meat, a lot. It's one of his favorite foods."

 

"You guys are goofy." Gus looked between his father and Justin and frowned. He watched as his dad dribbled the ball between his feet but managed to not have it move very far from the bench that he and Justin were sitting on and he hoped that one day he'd be that good.

 

"Dad I've never seen you eat anything cream filled. Now Justin loves Oreo's and they have the best cream. I love to lick the middle and then eat the cookies." He pretended to eat an Oreo, twisting his fingers and then sticking his tongue out to lick the imaginary cookie. "Isn't the cream the very best, Justin? I love the pretty colored ones they got in the store. There's every color of the rainbow. I know, Justin, you could make a picture with all the Oreo's. Wouldn't that be neat? Hang it in the diner since its food. I bet Grandma Debbie would let you do that. They got pictures on the wall. I'll ask her."

 

"Oreos are my favorite cookie and I agree the colored ones are cool. I don't think I want to paint a picture of Oreos but thanks for the suggestion. All this talk of cookies and food has me really hungry. Let's go back to the car and go to the diner."

 

"You'll pay for that," he mouthed silently to Justin. Brian stopped dribbling the ball and picked it up. "Time to feed the starving young men of Pittsburgh. Evidently the world isn't safe until you've each had your Oreos."

 

"Daddy, can we pick up some Oreos at the store? Since Justin doesn't want to paint a picture, maybe I could."

 

"We'll see. We have to get you home soon, but maybe next time you visit."

 

"Yah. Maybe I can get the colored ones and glue them on some paper. Justin, will you help me make the picture?"

 

"Sure Gus. Now I think we better stop with the Oreo talk. I think your Daddy is getting tired of visions of cream filled cookies."

 

"Okay." Gus got in the car and looked out the window as he they drove to the diner


	27. Thinking Is Overrated

Brian and Justin entered the loft after they dropped Gus off at home. Justin went straight to the cabinet and pulled down the tray of Oreos and got out several unscrewing them as he looked at Brian.

 

"Want some cream?" He licked the inside filling very slowly, sticking out his tongue as he stiffly flicked the cream.

 

Brian growled and was quickly at Justin's side. He put the cookie in Justin's hand down and then pinned his hands above his head, pushing Justin against the wall as he ravaged his partner's mouth, getting a taste of said cream as he did so.

 

Sticking his tongue into Brian's mouth at the same time, Justin responded to Brian's assault with a moan as he felt his cock grow in his pants. Brian ground his cock into Justin's groin, enjoying the tantalizing friction. Justin allowed Brian to dominate him, giving no resistance to his partner. Brian's kiss was bruising, his lips smashed against Justin as he pressed his body forward. 

 

Brian lost what little control he had. Listening to Gus go on about "cream filled treats and Brian's love of meat" had left Brian with a semi hard on for at least two hours and he needed relief. More than relief, he needed the opportunity to be with his partner, to verify yet again that this man, this irritating blond young man had indeed infiltrated the infamous Kinney walls and brought them tumbling down brick by brick. And yet, he knew that Justin's persistence had paid off for his life was indeed richer for having him in his life. 

 

His blood pounded in his heart and his cock was getting uncomfortable. He needed release. Now!! Grabbing the packet of lube and condom from his pants pocket, he put them on the island while he quickly dropped his pants and deftly undid Justin's pants and turned him around to face the wall.

 

Grabbing the items, he lubed Justin's hole, put on the condom and rammed into Justin with little preparation. He needed to be inside Justin and had no patience or desire to prepare him more than minimally necessary to avoid harm. Justin gasped at the intrusion, but quickly adjusted to Brian's assault for he enjoyed the frantic bonding as much as Brian and needed the connection.

 

"Teach." Brian thrust, holding Justin's hips tightly.

 

"You." Brian pulled out.

 

"A lesson." Brian thrust back in, plunging into Justin.

 

Lost in the sensation of Justin's body, his world narrowed to the 9 inches of his cock, the unique smell of Justin's skin as it combined lemon shampoo with his own scent and the adrenaline his own body was producing as it raced to a familiar finish; a finish that left him both satisfied and unfulfilled at the same time. Endorphins raced through his body giving it a natural high. His heart raced as it pumped blood to his body as if it were running a sprint. His heart exploded with the feelings of love and possession he felt for this young man in front of him. He loved the thrill of the race, but was always slightly disappointed that he could not maintain the adrenaline rush for longer. 

 

"Cream." Brian pulled out.

 

"My ass." Brian slammed in as he felt the familiar tingling.

 

"Justinnnnnnn...." He felt his orgasm overtake his body, pulsing his come into the condom. 

 

Draping his body over Justin's smaller frame, he waited till his breathing had returned to normal before pulling out. Quickly he tied the condom, throwing it in the trash. Walking over to the sink, he grabbed a kitchen towel, wet it and returned, wiping Justin down. 

 

Justin pulled up his clothing and returned to eating his Oreo. Smirking at the desired effect his teasing had on Brian. He would have to make sure there were always Oreos in the kitchen.

 

Brian threw the towel in the laundry and joined Justin at the island, watching him eat his Oreos. Shaking his head at Justin's poorly masked taunt, he rolled his eyes.

 

"I can't believe you're eating again. You just finished dinner."

 

"True, but I wanted dessert," Justin said, smiling at his thinly veiled comment.

 

"So, now I'm dessert?"

 

"Dessert, or breakfast, lunch, dinner, afternoon delight; you name it. I always want to eat you." Justin finished his last Oreo and grabbed a glass of milk to wash down the cookie. Smiling his Sunshine smile, he looked at Brian before continuing. "It appears that you like my version of dessert."

 

"I do like my version of cream filled treats. I'll leave the Oreos to you and Gus. I can't believe the kid wants to make a picture out of different colored Oreo creams."

 

"You got to admit that they are cool colored. I heard that the company made them especially for Pride. I, for one, will keep buying Oreos. If for no other reason than to get you to enjoy your cream filled dessert as often as you want with the added benefit of no calories."

 

"I'm taking a shower. I stink after kicking the soccer ball around." Brian undid his pants again, throwing them into the laundry. Pulling off his shirt, he tossed it into the bin as well. "Coming?"

 

Justin didn't answer with words, but instead threw his clothes into the hamper as he made his way into the bathroom to join Brian. Waiting while the water temperature was adjusted, he kissed Brian's back, enjoying the muscles and strength of his partner. They showered and Justin gave Brian a blow job while Brian gave Justin a hand job. It seemed the most natural thing in the world for both men to give each other pleasure and enjoy this ritual between themselves.

 

As they stepped out of the shower to dry off, Justin yawned, feeling his energy drain from the busy and emotional day.

 

"Uh uh, Sunshine. You're not pulling that trick on me. Time for us to finish our little chat. Seems we keep getting interrupted." Brian wiggled his brow and a smirk formed on his mouth. "Although, I will say that the interruptions have been very entertaining indeed."

 

"Can't we do this tomorrow? I'm really tired, Brian," Justin said and made a point of yawning again. 

 

"Nope. I know you're awake and you're not stalling any longer. You've had months to think about New York. Tired or not, I know your brain has thought this through." Brian pulled on a pair of jeans but didn't bother to button the top button. Walking to the liquor cabinet, he poured himself a shot of Beam and sat on the couch. "The sooner we have this discussion, the sooner you can go to bed."

 

Justin pulled on a pair of jeans as well as a T-shirt and joined Brian, but sat at the opposite end of the couch.

 

"You got this gig as birthday stripper so you could have time to paint and then when you had time to paint, you found you were uninspired." Brian took a drink from the glass, savoring the smooth flavor.

 

"Yes." Justin didn't want to add anything to Brian's summary, preferring to wait and see where the conversation led.

 

"You've determined that you are more inspired when you are here and want to move back."

 

Justin nodded his head this time. He was waiting for the shoe to drop, knowing it couldn't be this easy. He got up to fix himself a drink, more for the activity than the desire for alcohol.

 

"Carol likes your latest paintings, but she feels they're not your best work and you're convinced you would paint better if I was around." Brian was stating each fact from their earlier conversation with apparently no judgment. It was almost as if he were reading a paragraph from a newspaper. 

 

Justin stood at the liquor cart, playing with the drink he just made instead of drinking it. 

 

"Have you talked to Carol about this plan? What are her thoughts?"

 

"No. Not really. I thought it wouldn't be an issue as long as I'm producing good work." Justin walked around the loft. He walked to the painting above the couch, staring at its beauty and swirls of color. 

 

"Right, you didn't think. But you're not going to just come back here without a plan. We're going to have a plan."

 

Justin looked down at his feet, still not able or willing to face Brian's wrath. Brian finished his drink and walked to the liquor cart to refill it. Walking over to Justin, he wrapped his arms around him from behind and nuzzled his neck, speaking louder than any words he could say that he was there for him. Brian turned him around and led his reluctant partner to the couch and pulled his feet onto his lap, massaging them and also keeping him from retreating to another area of the loft.

 

"Let's start with the painting. You can paint at Britin." For the second time in less than a week, Brian was glad that he had the studio finished and ready for Justin. He'd always hoped that Justin would return to Pittsburgh, but he thought it would be a mutual decision. While he had mixed feelings about Justin's return, part of him was thrilled to have Justin come back while the other part felt he needed to stay in New York. 

 

"Britin?" Justin sat up, remembering the beautiful place they visited a few days ago. "I didn't think about Britin, but the studio is beautiful. You said I didn't use it much, but that's because I wasn't living here. Now I can use it and you'd be close."

 

"You didn't think. Seems to be a lot of that going around lately." Brian leaned over and pulled Justin's feet back into his lap. 

 

"Justin, I always expected you to return one day. I just didn't think it would be under these circumstances, but then again, with us nothing is ever normal." Brian massaged Justin's feet and spoke very softly.

 

"So I paint at Britin." Justin pulled his feet from Brian's lap a second time, and walked toward the window. "But if I live at Britin, how am I going to have time to work? It's a long way into the city and that will really cut into my painting time. I'm screwed." 

 

"If you think for one goddamn minute about returning to stripping, you thought wrong!!!"

 

Justin winced at Brian's words, the tone in his voice filled with an anger he wasn't used to. "I'm sorry. It was just a job; one that paid well and let me have time to paint. It didn't mean anything. But what can I do to support myself if I'm all the way out there?"

 

"I make enough money for both of us, Justin. Why don't you concentrate on your painting for six months and then we'll re-evaluate the money situation."

 

"I can't let you support me. You've done that too many times and I'm an adult. I need to pay my way." Justin wrung his hands like MacBeth feeling trapped in a no win situation. 

 

Brian ran his hand through his hair a few times and put his thumb to his mouth. He really was tired and wanted to go to sleep as much as Justin did, but he knew if they didn't work out some of the issues now, they would continue to get interrupted. 

 

"You tried it your way for two years. You said it yourself earlier today, you were working so much that the idea of painting became more important than the painting itself. You told me that you want me around since I'm evidently your inspiration. Let's try it my way this time. You paint for six months. I pay the bills and everybody is happy." Brian stifled the yawn that was threatening to come out.

 

Justin turned around, facing the living room and looked at Brian, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. Brian would never lie to him. He knew that. If Brian told him that he would support him, then he meant it. 

 

"I just hate that I can't..."

 

"Justin. We're partners. Partners support each other. Sometimes someone gives more support than the other. That's how it works."

 

"I just don't want to be a kept man. I don't want you to regret doing this. You've taken me in so many times, I just...." Justin felt the tears form in his eyes, but didn't want to let them fall. 

 

Brian went to Justin, engulfing him in an embrace and gently kissing his hair.

"Justin, no apologies, no regrets. While I didn't expect you to be living here in the Pitts so soon, you obviously had different plans. And then the goddamn car hit your taxi and here you are."

 

They held each other, Justin feeling the comfort and sincerity of Brian's words and Brian enjoying the feel of his partner in his arms as he realized that he would be able to do this every night. They both yawned and Brian looked in the mirror that hung in the hallway, seeing their reflections and a warmth ran through him. I've turned into a fucking lesbian... then he looked down at Justin, realizing he could hold his partner every night and wake up to him every morning, and didn't give a fuck.

 

"We'll call Carol in the morning and see what she says. I can't see any reason that you can't live here and paint, but she is your agent and unless she's on board, it won't work either." Brian stepped apart from Justin. "We're exhausted. Let's go to bed and we can talk more in the morning."

 

"Okay," Justin said as he let a huge yawn take over. He walked to the bedroom, quickly taking off his clothes and got into bed. 

 

Brian followed a few minutes later after he'd locked up the loft and they were both asleep after a few minutes.

 

The jarring of the phone woke them the next morning.

 

"ello..." Justin said as he tried to force his brain to focus.

 

"Congratulations, my dear. I've shown your latest work to the owners of Brentano's and they want to put some of your pieces in a show. You must come down to my office as soon as possible so we can chat," Carol said, the enthusiasm in her voice evident even to Justin's sleepy mind.

 

"Oh Shit!" Justin said as he threw the covers off himself and ran to the bathroom.

 

"Justin... What...." Brian called as he got out of bed to follow.

 

TBC


	28. Going to New York

"Whoopee. Yeha. Shit! I'm going to New York." Justin bounded out of bed, racing to the bathroom and turning on the shower.

 

Brian got out of bed as he watched his partner almost dance around the bathroom. It was early, only 9:00 am, well early for Justin and Brian was mystified. Justin was obviously ecstatic over the phone call. Brian walked over to Justin as he was leaning over the shower to adjust the water temperature and wrapped his arms around him from behind, hoping to still his movements for a few short moments to discern Justin's ebullient mood.

 

"Care to share?"

 

"That was Carol. Bretano's wants to show some of my pieces. She wants to see me as soon as possible to discuss the show. I've got to get to New York. This is the day I was waiting for. I'm going to show my work. Can you believe it? I did it." Justin turned around and gave Brian a huge kiss on the lips, but didn't linger as he was too excited. "I've got to shower and then ...." Justin's enthusiasm died quickly and his shoulders slumped.

 

"Talk to me Justin. Then....what?" Brian hadn't seen this Dr. Jeyckel/ Mr. Hyde behavior in a long time and was concerned.

 

"How am I going to get to New York? I'm in fucking Pittsburgh with no car and no money. I finally get what I've always dreamed of and now I can't even get to my fucking agent. I'm so screwed." Justin said as the reality of his situation hit him full force. 

 

While he'd been dealing with his memory issues the last few weeks, he hadn't thought about life in general. In the last few days, he'd come to realize that Brian and he were partners, he lived in New York and he was trying to paint professionally. He was just trying to convince Brian that he couldn't paint in New York and wanted to come home and now he received a call telling him he is going to show his work. Now that his life appeared to be coming together; his memories returning and reuniting with his partner, it was all falling apart again, albeit for a different reason. He couldn't contemplate what was next and stepped in the shower, grabbing the shampoo bottle to wash his hair.

 

Brian was a little shell shocked at Justin's announcement, and biting his tongue to prevent calling him a drama princess. Somehow Justin had yet again forgotten that Brian could care less what he spent on Justin, as long as he could help his partner. Brian got in the shower, pulling Justin close to his body as he kissed him gently on the lips. "I'll call Liberty Air when we're done and we'll fly up on the next flight."

 

"Really?" Justin smiled as he realized Brian was going to help.

 

"Yeah, Really. Besides we need to check on your apartment and I'm sure that Jake would like to see you." Brian grabbed the soap and started lathering Justin's chest. The unspoken words were just as pressing on Brian's mind, but for now he would just state the obvious.

 

Justin finished washing his hair and grabbed the soap from Brian to return the favor. Brian noticed how quiet Justin was, usually Justin was talkative in the shower. Well, technically Justin was usually talkative anywhere, but quiet in the shower was unusual. Looking at his partner, Brian could see the distracted look in his eyes.

 

"When do you think we can get there? I've got to call Carol and let her know. I can text Jake. I bet my apartment is a mess. And, oh my mail must really be piled up. I bet the super is pissed. And I should call..."

 

Brian hugged Justin and leaned down to kiss him so he would stop talking.

 

"Slow down. It's not a race. We'll get it all done. Now, let me take care of your little problem," he said as he fondled Justin's erection. "Then we can make the necessary calls and pack. I need to call Cynthia and have her and Ted hold down the fort for a few more days."

 

Justin responded to Brian's ministrations, allowing his body to just live in the moment. Whether it was a hand job or blow job or actual sex, any act with Brian was always fulfilling and Justin wasn't going to waste the opportunity to get off. Brian kissed him, his tongue exploring the inner reaches of Justin's mouth as if it were the first time he'd done so in months rather than in hours and Justin was food for his starving body. Neither statement was true, but when it came to joining with his partner, Brian's body always felt like it was the first time he was with Justin. Sex was just that good between them. No matter what was going on in their crazy, busy lives, sex had never been the problem. Brian brought Justin to a quick climax; Justin's heart raced as it reached orgasm and then began to slow. He could feel Justin starting to relax. Pleased with his ability to calm his partner, Brian kissed Justin slowly and shared his love with him. 

 

Justin smiled as his body returned to normal and reached down to return the favor. Brian was only too happy to let him do so and enjoyed Justin's adept hand skills. He quickly shot his load as well. 

 

Brian shut the water off, grabbing a towel for each of them from the towel warmer. Drying himself as he admired Justin in the mirror, he was filled with a sense of foreboding. Choosing not to dwell on the feelings, especially since Brian Kinney did not "do" feelings, he hung up his towel and returned to the bedroom to pack and to make the necessary phone calls. Justin dried himself and followed Brian into the bedroom to pack and to make his share of the calls.

 

"Carol, its Justin."

 

"Hello, dear. So can we do lunch?"

 

"Probably not. I'm in Pittsburgh, but I'm working on a flight. How about dinner? I should be able to arrive by then." Justin looked at the clock and saw that it was already 10:30. Since they hadn't made the reservation yet, he doubted it would be feasible to arrive before mid afternoon.

 

"That's good. Kittichai at 8:00."

 

"Make the reservation for three. Brian is coming with me."

 

"We have lots to discuss. I can't wait to see you." She smiled as she hung up her phone. 

 

"We're meeting Carol at Kittichai at 8:00. I told her to make the reservation for the 3 of us." Justin let out a deep breath and took several more as he tried to calm his racing heart. 

 

Walking over to Justin, Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and kissed his neck as he whispered in his ear, "I'm proud of you."

 

"Thank you." Turning around in Brian's arms, he smiled and kissed him solidly on the mouth. Pulling away, he said, "I've got to call Mom and Daphne. Or maybe I should wait since I don't have any details. Did you get our tickets yet? You don't have to come with me if Kinnetik needs you. Have you talked to Ted and Cynthia?"

 

Brian laughed and shut him up with another kiss.

 

"Slow down. Why don't you call Mother Taylor and Ms. Chanders. Gloat for a few minutes and let your mind stop running circles in your head. I have tickets for the 2:00 pm flight. That should give us time to pack and get to the airport. Damn, 9/11. Flying anywhere takes a whole day, even if the flight is only 45 minutes." Brian put his hand on Justin's back, pushing him toward the living area to complete his calls. 

 

Two people talking on cell phones in the same room was always noisy and he needed to make some calls in a quiet area. He'd told Cynthia that he'd be in the rest of the week as Justin seemed to be doing a lot better, but now he had to recant those words and try to get work completed in just a short time before they left. Taking out his phone, he looked at the calendar to review the remainder of his week before he called Cynthia.

 

Luckily he had his toilet kit permanently packed so he didn't have to worry with that and his wardrobe was fairly basic, most of his clothing was easily interchangeable. He gathered his grey suit and a red shirt and tie as well as few pair of jeans and shirts. Adding two pair of pants and some additional shirts and he was finished. Zipping his bag he placed it by the doorway and returned to the chair to make the calls.

 

While he'd made plans for returning this week, Cynthia had thankfully only scheduled a few appointments that could easily be completed by Ted. She'd been his assistant long enough to know that until he showed up at Kinnetik several days in a row, it was best to not schedule meetings that were critical. Brian was thankful that Cynthia knew him so well.

 

After their phone calls were completed and they finished their packing, they called a cab to take them to the airport. Justin could barely sit still in the cab. Brian continuously laid his hand on his thigh and squeezed or gently stroked his arm. It was nonsexual, unusual for them, but it appeared to ground Justin and calm his hyperactivity. 

 

When they boarded the plane Brian ordered drinks for both of them, hoping to calm Justin's jittery nerves. After takeoff the drinks were served and it appeared to be successful as the alcohol calmed Justin, especially since he hadn't had much to eat all day. When they arrived, they took a taxi to the Mondrian. While Brian usually stayed at Conrad since it was close to the Financial District, he chose the Mondrian as it was closer to the gallery. They arrived around 4:00 and had four hours until they met Carol. 

 

Brian hung his suite in the closet as did Justin. Each man unpacked his toiletries and other clothing and Brian called room service to send up a light snack of cheese and fruit. He decided Justin might be too excited to eat dinner this evening and he knew Justin's stomach would make its unhappiness known unless it was provided with some much needed energy. The food arrived shortly and the two men sat down to enjoy their snack.

 

"Thank you. I couldn't have gotten here without you."

 

Brian smiled and took a bite of a green apple from the fruit bowl.

 

"I mean... You did help get the tickets, but that's not it. These last few weeks... My memories... us... the painting..." Justin swept his hand in an all encompassing gesture. 

 

"I knew you would remember. It wasn't even an option, not to. You're a strong man, Justin. I've known that since the first day I met you and you spoke up at the hospital, telling Lindsay that Gus wouldn't last a day in the playground if she named him Abraham. You didn't know her and yet you gave your opinion."

 

"You looked so natural holding him." Justin thought for a few moments as his brain pulled out a particular memory. "I just came to lose my virginity that night and I got so much more. I gained a whole family. I never have thanked you."

 

Brian wasn't a man to verbalize his emotions; therefore he did not comment on Justin's insights, but silently acknowledged his wisdom. He took another bite of his apple and passed the cheese and crackers to Justin. Knowing Justin was too excited to sit down to a meal, he knew if he put the food in front of him, he would eat it due to its proximity. Brian watched in semi-fascination as Justin spread four crackers with port wine cheese and proceeded to eat them and then repeat the same activity several times before he spoke.

 

"These last few weeks have been crazy. I'm not sure my memory is 100% but most of my memories have returned." 

 

"I'm glad. You have an amazing life and while there are events that I wish you hadn't remembered, I'm happy that your life has returned to normal." Brian finished his apples and threw the core away in the trash. He was happy to see that Justin was relaxing.

 

"I can't believe I'm back in New York. I've spent the last few weeks remembering my life here, but not feeling like it's my life, and now I've returned to it." Justin took a bite of small cracker he had topped with some cheddar cheese. "I remember that I'm an artist and why I was here. It still seems like a dream."

 

"I'm glad that you've remembered your art. It would have been rather awkward to explain who Carol was and why she would be calling you if you didn't remember the last few years."

 

Justin nodded and grabbed a bunch of grapes, popping one at a time into his mouth. He finished the bunch and took the last of the crackers and prepared them by spreading the remaining cheese on them. 

 

"I can't wait to meet with Carol. She seemed very anxious to talk to me today. I wonder if that's normal?" Justin asked before he bit into a cracker.

 

"I'm not an expert on art or representing artists, Justin. I'm sure there are lots of details that have to be ironed out before a show can be put on."

 

"I didn't think about that. I guess the logistics of an event is something I've never thought about. I was so caught up in getting to the event, I never thought of the other stuff." Justin finished the last of the crackers and swallowed some water to wash them down. "I can't wait to talk to her tonight. I'm glad you came. I'm so excited and nervous that another set of ears will be good. While I think I'm a 100%, I know I'm not really there."

 

Brian was slightly taken aback but Justin's statement. He hid his concern by standing up and taking the room service cart to the hall and taking a few deep breaths before he returned to Justin. 

 

"You still have holes in your memory?" Brian walked toward the mini bar in the room, poured himself a drink and then sat on the couch in the living space of the room. 

 

Justin sat on the opposite edge of the couch with a glass of water he had kept from their snack. He sipped the water before answering.

 

"I guess. I find myself seeing something and doing a quick memory review before responding. Like this afternoon, I did a quick scan of the airport taxi area and remembered the last time I was here. It was when you and mom took me back to the Pitts. While that was a recent memory, after the accident, I still had to rewind information in my brain to verify that it was correct."

 

Brian nodded his head in understanding.

 

"And the same thing happened this morning when I was packing. I had to think for just a few moments where my kit was located and do a quick inventory of my clothes to determine what to wear. It's sort of like watching a commercial in rewind mode. You see something or think you see something so you rewind it to be sure that you saw what you thought you saw."

 

"And you do this all day long?"

 

"No. Well yes. I guess I do. I'm just getting really good at fast rewind. Most of the time, the information is right there, but there have been a few times where the information isn't coming up. Like a computer search where you have to revise the parameters."

 

"But it's mostly little stuff or do you still not remember everything?"

 

Justin finished his water and wanted to pour himself a drink. He was getting frustrated talking to Brian. Deciding a drink wouldn't do him any harm this far out from dinner, he walked to the bar and poured himself a small shot of Beam. Taking a drink, he felt the familiar burn of the liquor as it traveled through his body.

 

"If I knew what I didn't know, then I would know it."

 

‘You're right. Okay. We'll just continue to take it day by day. We're here to celebrate success and we need to start to get ready. Let's take a shower and see what comes up. I'm feeling dirty from the plane ride. No matter how short they are, we still have to go through dirty airports and mix with unwashed bodies."

 

"Sounds good to me." Justin walked to the bathroom and undressed. He adjusted the water temperature and stepped in. 

 

Brian followed him and grabbed a condom and some lube, as he vowed to distract Justin from any thoughts other than his cock. For the second time that day, Brian grabbed the soap and soaped up his partner. He kissed him as he ran his slippery fingers over his back and buttocks. 

 

"God, that feels good," Justin said as he moaned.

 

Brian soaped up his chest and slipped his hand down to fondle his erection. Soon it was fully erect, pointing toward his stomach. Brian crushed his chest against Justin's as he kissed him open mouthed and continued to soap his back.

 

Slipping his fingers into Justin's crack, he slowly ran his index finger up and down the crack without popping in the tight hole. Justin was torn from pushing his body and cock against Brian or pushing his ass toward the fingers that were fingering him. His moans of enjoyment were egging Brian forward. Brian pushed a slippery finger into Justin and quickly popped it out and continued to caress the perineum. He didn't want to set up a rhythm and would occasionally push his finger into Justin's hole. After three times, Justin pushed back hard and Brian's finger slipped all the way into the tight channel. Justin started fucking Brian's finger and brought his hand to his cock and pulled on it as well. Brian removed Justin's hand from his cock and then pushed another finger into his ass. Justin gasped slightly at the surprise intrusion and then pushed back harder into Brian's hand. Brian then brought his own hand to Justin's cock and played with the slick head, running his fingers over the sensitive head. The dual sensations of Brian's fingers on his mushroom head and his hole had Justin breathing hard.

 

"Fuck me, NOW!"

 

Brian was not in the mood for a lot of foreplay so he removed his finger from Justin's ass, put on a condom, turned Justin to face the wall and plunged into his partner. Justin had his hands against the wall of the shower, bracing himself for the upcoming onslaught. Brian pounded his ass and pulled Justin's cock and after a few thrusts both men were coming, their orgasms releasing much of the tension from the day. 

 

Afterward, they finished their shower and dressed for the evening. They took a short cab ride to Kittichai and were seated at Carol's table.

 

Justin went to kiss her cheek lightly, sat down, and introduced Brian. The waiter brought their menus and they ordered. Brian ordered a bottle of wine and the waiter poured a glass for each person.

 

"I'm so glad you could make it tonight. We have much to discuss. You will be so busy the next few months leading up to your show. I hope you have plenty of pieces set aside for it."

 

Justin and Brian just stared at each other, neither one ready for Carol's agenda.

 

TBC


	29. A Multitude of Conversations

Carol continued to talk and didn't notice the silence from her dinner partners. When the dinner plates were taken away she finished her wine and looked between Justin and Brian, finally realizing the lack of conversation on their part throughout the meal.

 

"Is something wrong? You seem very quiet Justin."

 

"It's .. well... I..."

 

"Justin?" Carol scrutinized Justin's face, looking for any indication of his hesitancy.

 

"I'm just overwhelmed. I've worked for a long time, hoping to finally make it a show and now it's happening... it's surreal."

 

"You're very talented. I know you've been working hard since you moved here two years ago. I was beginning to worry when I had not heard from you these last few weeks. I was planning on calling you on Monday."

 

"You didn't tell her?" Justin looked at Brian, asking for confirmation.

 

"I called her and told her that you had been in a car accident." Brian looked at Justin, ignoring Carol and trying to send his assurances to his partner.

 

"Oh." Justin relaxed a little, but was still slightly perturbed at Brian.

 

"Would someone care to share what you two are talking about?" Carol asked as her eyes flitted between the two men.

 

"I called and told you that Justin was in an accident, but I didn't tell you he had some memory problems." Brian was purposely elusive.

 

Carol waited for Brian to continue and reluctantly Brian provided more information.

 

"For a while, he didn't know that he painted. He remembers now so it shouldn't be an issue," he said, choosing not to elaborate on all the events of the last few weeks.

 

"I see." Carol nodded her head as she gave Justin a once over. "But everything is okay now?" 

 

"I'm fine." Justin said as he smiled his famous smile. "Tell me more about the commitments for the show."

 

"You will need to have at least 15 paintings ready. I want you to make the rounds of the upcoming shows. It won't do to have you just show up for your own opening. You need to support other artists as well, get a feel for the current art movement." Carol looked at Justin, trying to determine if her words were penetrating and if he appeared to be agreeing with her strategy.

 

"While your work isn't meant to be cookie cutter of other artists, going to other shows can help you get a feel for openings....what happens, who attends, etc. I'll be putting the buzz about town regarding your new show, but people need to have a face to put with the name. You'll need to attend at least one show a week leading up to your opening. Of course, I expect you to be available for some interviews with the press a few days prior to its opening. The media needs to know who Justin Taylor is and be exposed to the man not just the art."

 

Brian swallowed some water, his wine glass long ago empty. He felt his world turning upside down again. He was ready to have Justin back home; close to him so he could paint and now the scenario was changing. Justin needed to be here, in New York, courting his public and would be critics. 

 

"How long would I need to be in New York? I mean the prepublicity part?" Justin had listened to Carol's itinerary, a sinking feeling developing in his stomach as she described the activities he was supposed to attend. He knew there would be other commitments if he got a show, but he didn't realize the extent of them.

 

"What do you mean, how long? You live here? Is there a problem?" Carol looked perplexed and again felt like she was missing vital pieces of information.

 

"A few days? A few weeks? How long?" Justin said as he clarified the question. He was getting a little nervous, but tried to stay calm. He fidgeted with his water glass, running his finger over the rim. 

 

"The show is in October, that's five months from now. Starting at least in August, you would need to be seen once a month." She saw both men nod their head in understanding and saw an unspoken communication between them. She knew it had something to do with her answer, but she didn't understand what part she had to play in this saga.

 

"And I'd want to see you in the studio most every day. I'd like to come see you at least once a week; keep an eye on your progress." She was using her finger to tap on the table at each salient point. "I'm sure there will be other opportunities for you to be seen and to prepare for the show, but you must start preparing for a new show as well. I'm certain once the critics see your work, other galleries will be clamoring for their opportunity to have the up and coming work of Justin Taylor." She smiled at Justin, happy for his success and thrilled that she would get to enjoy his rise to fame.

 

"Is this a typical commitment, Carol?" Brian asked, trying to keep his voice neutral and not let any emotions shine through. Since this was a key skill of Brian's, it wasn't too difficult for the question to seem innocuous enough, hiding his true query. Brian picked up his water glass to take a sip, but frowned when he realized it was empty. He put it down and looked at Carol for an answer to his question.

 

"Yes, for a new comer to the field. Once Justin is established, he can cut back somewhat on his appearances, but in the beginning, he needs to be seen and the press needs to recognize him. It is utterly essential to his success." She waved to the waiter for more water and took a sip as soon as he left the table.

 

Justin squirmed in his seat, uncomfortable with the direction this discussion was progressing. _I finally convince Brian that I need to be in the same city in order for me to produce great work and now Carol is totally undermining my words and efforts to return to Brian. Will Brian believe our earlier conversation? I told him I couldn't paint without him; yet Carol is extolling my work and saying it is brilliant. I know the great pieces were ones I painted in Brian's presence and I hope that Brian wouldn't question this new development._

 

"Carol, if I came to the city on a regular basis, say once every 10 days or so and stayed for 3 days, would that be enough for the press?" He'd been calculating the bare minimum for him to be away and thought these numbers would suffice. Looking over at Brian, he smiled trying to convey his meaning behind the question and knowing that Brian would most likely fight him on this issue.

 

"It wouldn't be ideal, but I guess it would be sufficient. Is there something you aren't telling me? Brian said you were fine. Was he lying, Justin?" She frowned deeply, worried that her new protégé was not going to be the media darling she anticipated. He had charmed her immediately with his smile and poise and she was convinced he was at the cusp of becoming critically acclaimed. She had a talent for picking out promising artists and working with them to be accepted in the New York art world. Rarely, had she been wrong.

 

"I'm fine. It's just most of the pieces that you showed to Bretano's were ones I painted while in Pittsburgh. The few pieces I painted here were ones that I started while Brian was visiting. When he isn't here, I'm really stuck. I want to return to Pittsburgh to paint." Justin hated putting the information out there for Carol to scrutinize, but he wanted to be truthful with her. She had stayed with him for the last year, urging him and grooming him to enter New York art society. She had molded him into an artist the media was interested in viewing and he didn't want to let her down, nor did he want all her work to be waylaid either.

 

Carol studied her protégé and for the first time she looked at him carefully. There was a definite shine to his personality when he was with Brian and his voice was more animated. It appeared that his partner was indeed responsible for his happiness. She could see where Justin wanted to be with his partner as he did appear happier than she had seen him in the past. She recalled a few meetings in the last month where she had begun to question her decision to represent Justin, but now thought she understood what he'd been handling with his partner in another city.

 

"This is an unusual challenge, but I think we can work it out. If you promise me that you'll be in New York several times a month and attend gallery openings and be seen by the press, then I think it will be possible. I must ask, do you have a place to paint in Pittsburgh?"

 

"I do. It is the most amazing space. Sky light in the ceilings and huge windows to let the sun in for natural light. I have space to hang big canvasses as well as room to store my finished pieces. It is a better studio then I could ever afford here." Justin said. He beamed as he described the studio at Britin, glad that Brian had finished the space for "the future". It appeared that "the future" was now and he would get to use the space on a regular basis. He smiled when he realized it meant he and Brian would definitely be living at Britin.

 

"I'll have to come to Pittsburgh to see this studio. It sounds too good to be true." She said as she teased Justin gently for his waxing poetic regarding his studio space.

 

"We would love to have you. It's in our home in West Virginia. We have plenty of guests rooms and I know you would enjoy the scenery." Turning to Brian, he said, "Carol, you can come to Britin in three weeks and I'll have some new work for you by then. That should ease your concerns about the arrangement."

 

Carol took out her IPhone and looked at her calendar, finding a block of three days where she was free. The first one was in a month.

 

"Tell you what. I'll give you a month, give you time to settle in and then paint. I'll drive down for three days and you can show me this studio and I'll spend a day with you. We can work on a schedule for when you to come to New York." She clicked on the entry after confirming with Justin that the days were acceptable.

 

Looking around the restaurant, they saw there were only two other tables that were occupied. Carol waved for the check.

 

"It's been a pleasure seeing you again, Brian. Justin, I hope for both our sakes this plan works and I will see you in a few weeks." Carol paid the check and left a tip for the waiter, stood up and left the two men at the table. 

 

"You have it all figured out in your head, don't you Sunshine?" Brian asked, a little teasing in his voice. He reached out and put his hand on Justin's hand. "You'll paint in Pittsburgh and have the New York critics eating out of your palm."

 

"Well, that's the idea... but you don't think this will work?" Justin asked, surprised by Brian's teasing and uneasy for the first time this evening. He wasn't sure whether he was hearing just loving teasing or actual sarcasm. It had been a whirlwind of a conversation and he was still trying to make sense of it all.

 

"The restaurant is almost empty and we need to leave. We can continue this conversation at the hotel." Brian stood up and smiled at the waiter as he placed his hand on Justin's back and led him out of the restaurant. 

 

Catching a cab to their hotel, they retreated to their room and Brian went straight to the mini bar to pour himself a shot of Beam. He motioned for Justin who signaled that he wanted a shot as well. Brian placed the drinks on the table while he went to the bedroom to change from his dress clothes into jeans and a wife beater. Justin also changed into jeans and a t-shirt and then joined Brian on the couch in the living area. 

 

"This is so exciting. I can't believe I'm going to have a show. I can paint at Britin and come to New York a few times a month."

 

Brian took a sip of his drink as he looked at Justin who was practically bouncing off the couch. 

 

"It is exciting, but are you ready for this, Justin?" Brian asked calmly, even though he was anything but calm. He could feel the tension in his chest at the changes that were coming into his and Justin's life again.

 

"It's what I've thought about every day for the last 7 years. Of course, I'm sure."

Justin finished his drink put his glass down on the table and moved closer to Brian.

 

Normally Brian would respond to Justin's advances without thinking, but this time he didn't.

 

"You told me on the way to the airport that you aren't 100%,...said you often had to rewind the conversations in your head to be sure you were correct." Brian didn't continue his speech, knowing Justin would fill in the unspoken words, even if he didn't want to do so.

 

"But I won't have to be back in New York for a month. That gives me four weeks to improve. I'll work with Daphne to help my memory."

 

"Daphne won't work with you. She's too close, but she can recommend someone."

 

"Don't you want to see me succeed? You don't appear happy for me." Justin asked Brian, realizing for the first time that Brian was lackluster in his enthusiasm.

 

"I want you happy. Always have and always will. If you hadn't had your accident, I just wonder if you would have wanted to come home."

 

"I already told you I had decided to come home before my accident."

 

"That's where my concern is, Justin. One minute you're telling me you can't paint and are miserable and the next you're the star of the New York Art World and can do anything. If Carol hadn't called, where would we be at this time?"

 

Justin finished his drink and stood up as he felt the anger and disappointment stir in his body. He paced the hotel room a few times as he gathered his thoughts.

 

"I don't know how to answer you Brian. I don't know if I can say anything that would will convince you that I'm sure about this decision. You said I could paint at Britin for 6 months and you would support me. Has that changed now that I have a show?"

 

"No."

 

"Ok. I'm coming home to paint and will go to New York a few times a month. End of discussion." Justin turned toward Brian, his arms crossed in front of his chest and shot daggers with his eyes as he defiantly looked at Brian.

 

"You are still one of the most stubborn men I know. We'll try it your way and see what happens." Brian left the couch and walked toward the sleeping area. "It's been a long day and I'm tired."

 

Justin nodded and joined him, too tired to continue their disagreement tonight.

 

TBC


	30. Introspection is a Bitch

Brian and Justin got into bed and assumed their normal sleeping position, Justin's back to Brian's chest with Brian's arm draped across his abdomen. Neither man admitted to this pose, but it was natural for them to fall asleep this way most nights. However, tonight Brian's brain would not stop and he lay there trying not to disturb his partner.

 

Brian knew Justin wanted to paint and was very excited about his opportunity to show his work, but he worried. Justin told him he was planning on coming home since he couldn't paint very effectively with Brian in another city, but now when he is told his work is show worthy, he can suddenly paint, enough for a new show and probably a second one too. True, Justin had arranged to paint in Pittsburgh but Brian still had his doubts about Justin's true reason to come home. Did he really miss Brian so much? Did something happen in New York that he hadn't told him about? Justin had been very secretive these last few months, and Brian understood that some of the secretiveness was due to his new "job" but he wondered if there was something else.

 

Brian worried about the stress of traveling back and forth between New York and Pittsburgh. He wanted to be there for Justin, especially the first few trips, make sure his memory wasn't an issue, but he knew he'd have to let him do things on his own. Justin was a grown man with dreams and goals like anyone and Brian had to let him live those dreams, even if they failed. He doubted they would fail; Justin was very talented and he believed in Carol's instincts.

 

 

Brian didn't worry about supporting Justin. Financially he was fiscally sound and as long as Justin didn't change his taste -i.e. cargo pants from the Gap and underwear from shudder, the Big Q, Justin's wardrobe wouldn't be expensive. Feeding him was another matter; he could eat twice what Brian did on any given day but he burned it off in bed so Brian didn't care. Since Justin would be living with him, there wouldn't be added housing expense. His cell phone was already covered by Brian's plan, easier to make certain that he didn't let the number lapse if his finances got too low. His supplies for painting could get expensive, but Brian was not that worried. Since the girls had moved back to the states, they hadn't asked him for money for Gus in at least 6 months. In general, supporting Justin was not a big deal and he knew even if it was, he'd make it work.

 

The gang's reaction to his return might not be so easy. He was sure Lindsay would have plenty to say about his missed opportunity to be in New York, live in New York and experience the art world, but Justin had truly been there and done that and found it less than satisfying. Still, he valued her opinion and he hoped that this time Lindsay words would not influence his partner.

 

Michael's reaction would be mixed; he was certain. On the one hand, Michael would be glad that Justin returned so he could have easy access to him for making Rage. However, he wasn't sure Michael would welcome Justin as Brian's full time partner. Michael still had trouble believing that Brian wanted Justin in his life; despite watching Brian go to New York on a regular basis for the last two years. 

 

Emmett would be happy, but then again Emmett was almost always happy. He would call Justin "baby", wrap his arms around Justin's neck and Brian would remove said arms. Emmett would want to dance with Justin at Babylon and talk all about the latest Hollywood gossip; but voice an opinion, Brian doubted he would hear anything from Emmett on Justin's return. Brian liked Emmett, even if he was usually way over the top for him. Emmett told it like it was, no pretentions and Brian liked that about him, but as far as Justin went, he would be happy for him to be a part of his life again. No questions asked.

 

Debbie and Jennifer would be ecstatic if Justin returned. Both missed Justin and these days Jennifer was already a recurring person in his life without Justin being in town. Now that Justin was returning, he knew she would become a more permanent fixture. He decided that wasn't all bad as he envisioned they might need a referee occasionally and she appeared to see both sides of the argument. Debbie, of course, wanted all her boys in her immediate circle and Justin being gone for the last two years did not sit well with her. 

 

Brian couldn't ignore Justin's return to Pittsburgh. They'd been together for 7 years, had lived together off and on for short periods of time, but each time it never lasted. Brian had asked Justin to move in after the Liberty Ride but that had ended in disaster; Justin leaving and setting up his own apartment in a real dump. At least now Brian admitted he loved Justin and Justin knew he loved him, but love had never been enough. Justin needed and wanted constant reassurances and outward shows of affection to verify their relationship. These past two years had been good for them; Brian going to New York frequently and Justin occasionally coming to Pittsburgh, but spending more than a few weeks together hadn't occurred in several years. They got along fine in the summer when Justin had been here for a few weeks, but they both knew it was a short visit so it was like an extended vacation. 

 

Brian really didn't know what to expect this time around. They were in a different place than the other times they had decided to move in together, and he fervently hoped this time he was ready; they both were ready.

And how did he feel? Brian wasn't really sure how he felt. He'd reluctantly agreed to Justin coming home; although Justin was good at his convincing argument, his tongue licking Brian's cock in between sentences. He missed his partner every day. _how lesbianic_ but he missed having him in his daily life. As much as Brian complained about the shoes in the foyer and the wet towel in the bathroom, it was a part of Justin. Justin was as carefree as Brian was fastidious. Justin didn't care about order and neatness and it drove Brian crazy, but Brian admired Justin's ability to not care. Of course, all those were superficial things... the mess, the food and of course the sex. His life had revolved around his next trip to New York or Justin's upcoming visit to the Pitts. There would still be those, especially if he had to go to New York every few weeks, but a new routine would be developed. He loved Justin; he'd told him that many times in the last few weeks and definitely in the last year. He had this uneasy feeling and couldn't put his finger on it. 

 

His mind continued to race, thinking of their dinner with Carol ‘What aren't you telling me?' to Justin's proclamation that he was an artist. He kept reliving the milestones in the last few weeks and savored each new discovery that Justin had uncovered. They'd talked, really talked and some of the discussions were long overdue while others he still wished he'd never agreed to have. But Justin was always like a dog with a bone, picking at it until it was gone. Finally his body won out and he fell asleep as he listened to Justin's soft breathing.

 

Brian wasn't the only one who had restless thoughts. While Justin had fallen asleep easily enough, he woke shortly after Brian fell asleep. Not wanting to disturb his partner he lay quietly as his mind raced. He rewound the last few weeks with each discovery he'd made. Writing Rage, being bashed, being an artist, his stripping and his relationship with Brian. With each new revelation came discussion and understanding. He'd figured out some of the conversations he'd had with Brian were not repeats of previous ones. Many of the topics were ones they had never really sat down and discussed. His accident may have been a great catalyst in their relationship. He wondered if he could paint in Pittsburg. While he told Carol he could, he knew he had a hard time painting on demand and this would be as demanding as he'd ever had. Brian would be his inspiration and he wouldn't have to focus on earning enough money to pay the bills, but would it work? Could they live together? He thought they could but would Brian resent Justin's presence. Justin hadn't really given him a choice about moving to Britin. He presented it as a done deal. He'd read the Brian Kinney operating manual and knew it well enough to understand that telling Brian what was going to happen was surely a blueprint for failure. 

 

Brian hadn't put up too much resistance but would it work? They loved each other, but was it enough? Justin didn't want to think that after seven years and more heartache than any one person should have to endure, he would fail at the one thing that was most important to him, Brian. He wanted to be a successful artist, but more importantly he wanted to be with Brian. Failing at that was just not an option. After a short time, he was able to return to sleep as well.

 

They woke in the morning, but neither was very rested. Brian leaned over to pick up the phone and ordered room service. He stumbled to the bathroom where he turned the shower on and stepped in. Justin followed a few minutes later. Automatically Brian poured shampoo in his hand and started washing Justin's hair. Justin responded with a purring noise that always went straight to Brian's cock. Justin felt Brian's cock against his stomach and reached down to give Brian a hand job. Quickly Brian shot his load and then turned Justin around in the shower. He grabbed the condom in the soap dish, sheathed himself and plunged into his partner. Taking hold of Justin's hips he pulled the younger man to his body as he slammed inside the tightness. Quickly he was cumming into the condom. After he finished he tied off the condom and finished washing Justin. Justin returned the favor, washing Brian and they got out of the shower and grabbed the robes hanging in the bathroom. 

 

Brian heard the knock on the door a few moments later, announcing their food had arrived. He grabbed some cash for a tip and brought the cart inside.

 

Lifting the metal trays, he saw the fruits and eggs he'd ordered and placed some on two plates. Justin lifted the other tray which contained some toast for Brian and a bagel for him. He poured the orange juice into two glasses and sat down with Brian to eat.

 

"How'd you sleep?" Justin asked Brian as he looked at his tired eyes. "You look exhausted."

 

"Okay. You?" Brian took a bite of his eggs and drank some coffee.

 

"Eh. I woke up after a few hours and had a hard time going back to sleep."

 

"Having second thoughts," Brian asked as he raised his eyebrows.

 

"Not really. It's just ...."

 

"Just what, Justin..." Brian put down his fork and turned his head toward Justin.

 

"It's ironic, ok. I've been wanting this for years and now that it's in my hand, I'm scared to death."

 

"What's so scary?"

 

"I'm not worried about the painting stuff. The critics will love me or they don't. I have no control over that."

 

"Okay. You are not making a lot of sense this morning. Do you feel okay? Does your head hurt?" Brian asked as he frowned at the possibility that they'd come this far only for Justin to backslide.

 

Justin ate a few bites of his bagel and swallowed the remainder of his juice. He ran his hand through his hair and smiled a half smile at Brian.

 

"I'm scared for us." He took a deep breath, fearful of the reaction he would get from Brian, but Brian was silent and he continued.

 

"I sort of forced myself on you, told you I wanted to come home and now you're forced to accept the situation. You've taken me in before and it hasn't turned out well. This time, though, it's different." Justin played with the remnants of his eggs, not wanting to look directly at Brian.

 

"It is different this time," Brian said. He felt proud of himself because he wasn't going to push the conversation under the rug or make some snide comment about being a lesbian. "A lot can change in seven years. I outfitted your studio at Britin because one day I hoped you would return and paint there. Remember, I said to you that you didn't paint there often. It wasn't because you didn't want to, but because you were in New York and couldn't."

 

Brian got up and walked to Justin, pulling him out of his seat and into a big hug. Kissing his neck and his mouth, he tried to put all the words and feelings into his actions, but he didn't leave it to chance.

 

"I'll share a little secret, Justin. I'm scared too, but as I told you two years ago, ‘I want to take a chance on love.' And this time, I'm know it's not just a chance." 

 

Justin returned Brian's kisses and drug him toward the bed where they made love, sharing their bodies as only two lovers can do.

 

TBC


	31. Moving On Up

The sun shone through the curtains of their hotel, bathing the room in brightness as Brian woke from his respite after their lovemaking. His brain catalogued all the many stops and tasks they needed to accomplish before returning to Pittsburgh and then started a new list of activities for them once they were in Pittsburgh. Gently, he extricated himself from among Justin's limbs, amazed how he managed to entwine the two of them in just a short time. Sometimes he thought Justin was part octopus. 

 

Picking his cell phone off the night stand, he hit the button to see the time, noting it was approaching noon. Padding over to the small table in the other part of the suite, he turned on his laptop and checked his mail at Kinnetik and sent Cynthia and Ted some information they'd need for the next few days. He hoped it would only take a few days in New York to set up Justin, but he wanted to be sure. Just as he was finishing his last email, he heard Justin stir in the bed, 

 

"Hello, sleepyhead," he teased. "Are you ready to face the world now that you made up for the beauty sleep you missed out on last night worrying about your future?"

 

Justin grabbed the pillow from Brian's side of the bed and threw it at his partner even though Brian was way too far for the pillow to reach him.

 

Brian smirked and said, "I take that as a yes. We need to get dressed and go to your apartment. See if Jake managed to clean up the place like I asked. He said he'd stop by there every few days so it wouldn't look empty. Wouldn't want any squatters to be living there while you gone," he said, explaining how Justin's apartment was going to be cleaner than he usually kept it. "We need to look for a better apartment. If we are going to be spending 2-3 days at a time here, I refuse to spend them in a place decorated with Goodwill rejects and your family and friend's castoffs. And that thing you call a bed..."

 

"I like my apartment and I can't really afford anything more expensive," Justin said before he realized the needlessness of the comment.

 

"Justin...." Brian said as he gave Justin his raised eyebrow look which said more than any words could convey.

 

"Oh, Ok. I guess this falls under you supporting me for a while?" Justin looked at the bed as he pulled the covers toward the pillows. He knew he'd agreed to this arrangement before he knew about the art show, but it still bothered him. "Although, I've got a show coming up; that means I'll have money. So you won't have to support me for long, and then I can try and find a better apartment."

 

Brian walked over to the bed where Justin was still standing and took his hand, lifting his chin. He smiled a small smile and gently kissed Justin before letting go of his chin.

 

"I always keep my word, Justin. You of all people should know that. If I say I will support you for six months while you devote yourself to your art, then I will support you. I don't want to worry that you're working crazy hours to support yourself and then be in an accident on your way home."

 

"But the accident was just that."

 

"You wouldn't have been in the cab if you weren't working that j..." Brian bit back the word stripper as he found the idea too distasteful to say out loud. "And by your own admittance, you were working that "gig" because it made more money than any job you found. So I will say it again and then we will not discuss this anymore. I told you that I would support you for six months while you work on your art, and you will return to Pittsburgh where your 'inspiration' resides. Clear?" 

 

It was obvious to Justin that no amount of arguing, blow jobs or any other trick he'd learn was going to change Brian's mind. He also knew that money really wasn't that important to Brian and he let the subject drop.

 

"So... I'm moving. That sucks. I have some really good friends in the area."

 

"They can come visit you at your new place." Brian said as he inwardly smiled at his triumph. He really didn't want to argue with Justin and he truly didn't like the shit hole Justin lived in nor did he feel that Justin was safe there. He wanted a place in a better neighborhood and at least he wouldn't feel his skin crawl when they came for their visits to New York. 

 

"I hate moving. Packing all my stuff and unpacking it," Justin said as he went to the bathroom picking up his toothbrush. 

 

Brian shook his head at Justin's statement. He'd been to Justin's apartment and there wasn't much that needed to come with him. He had some pictures and mementos, but for the most part, his stuff had been picked up at second hand stores or was discards from friends and family. He knew Justin had grown up in the country club set and was used to nice things, but he guessed that Justin decided eating was more important than having your dishes match.

 

Brian followed Justin into the bathroom where he also brushed his teeth and recombed his hair, getting rid of the slight bedhead he acquired during their escapades this morning.

 

"You amaze me, Justin. We could pack all that you need in 2 hours tops. Most everything in there came from someone else. Not only do you have to visit galleries and make yourself seen, you need to start acting like the artist you want to be. That includes having a nice apartment and nice clothes. You will probably need to entertain a little so having a decent place is as important as dressing well. Sometimes life really is a self- fulfilling prophecy."

 

Justin was going to try and refute Brian's words, but decided against it when he quickly catalogued the contents of his apartment. "Ok. So does that mean you and I will go shopping for things in the new apartment?" Justin teased Brian as he knew that his and Brian's tastes were very different.

 

"Twat. That is what online catalogues are for. We can order everything you need in an hour on line. We don't have all day to furnish your apartment with Ikea crap."

 

"Hmm, there might be some advantages to this arrangement after all," Justin teased. He combed his hair and looked in the mirror, deciding he was ready for the day. "I want to see Jake, thank him for all he's done - you know."

 

_All he's done. Yeah. Like get you hooked up with that disaster of a job as a damn stripper. I have a few words for him, and ‘thank you' definitely wouldn't be on the top of the list._ "Well. He has been taking care of your apartment for the last few weeks while you remembered your past. Give him a call. See if he can meet us at your apartment and when. We can plan our day accordingly."

 

Justin got dressed in a pair of khaki cargo pants and a blue button down plaid shirt. He looked like a typical college student, not the man whose work was going to be in a prestigious art museum in a few months. Brian cringed and knew he would have to add clothes shopping to the list of places they would need to go before returning to Pittsburgh. Reaching for his phone, Justin scrolled down until he found Jake's number and clicked to dial. 

 

"Jake Carter."

 

"Hey Jake, its Justin. Good to hear your voice."

 

"Justin. Wow. It's good to hear your voice, too, man. Where are you? You still in Pittsburgh? Are you coming back to New York? What are you up to?"

 

Justin laughed at the rapid fire questions. He watched Brian watch him talk on the phone and felt a little odd. He wasn't sure why he felt odd, he never minded Brian hearing his conversations in the past. He wasn't keeping anything from him, but he guessed it was Brian's feelings about his job and the fact Jake had helped him obtain it. Regardless, Jake was his friend and he wasn't going to let Brian interfere in that friendship, if he could help it.

 

"Slow down. Brian and I are in New York for a few days. Are you available to meet? We're going to the apartment this evening; we can catch up then."

 

"Cool. I'm actually getting ready to go to a rehearsal for a show off off off Broadway, but it's a start. Rehearsal should end about 6, so why don't we say 7:30. That'll give me time to get back and shower and change."

 

"7:30 it is and Jake, it's so good to hear your voice."

 

"Jake will meet us at the apartment at 7:30." Justin looked at his phone seeing it is almost 1:00. "That gives us about 6 hours to do stuff and then catch the bus to the apartment." Justin quickly calculated the bus routes from their location to his apartment, something he'd gotten very good at in the past few years.

 

"Taking a cab will do just fine. I'm not wasting my time with any bus or subway. We have a lot to take care of in a short time." Brian smirked as he looked at Justin as he placed his hand at the small of his back, leading him out the door of the suite. "Make sure you put the sign requesting cleaning service on the door, the last thing I want is to come back to an unmade room."

 

While Justin had been sleeping in, Brian had contacted a local real estate office and they had a 2:00 pm appointment. He'd explained what he was looking for and hoped the person he was assigned to was half as good as Jennifer. He hoped there were at least a few properties that he and Justin could agree on.

 

As they were riding down the elevator, Justin's stomach growled. Brian shot him a bemused look, but didn't say a word, instead steering him to a corner sandwich shop that he'd eyed on the way home last night. 

 

"Choose your poison, Justin. We have a 2:00 pm appointment at Anchor Associates and I don't want to be late."

 

Justin's mouth opened in surprise and he started to ask Brian questions, but Brian shook his head.

 

"No time for questions. I did a little research while you were recovering your beauty sleep. They have a good reputation and are known for excellent service. In addition, they have both residential and commercial properties so maybe we can find you a studio that doesn't border the alley and a reasonable place for us to land when you must come into the city."

 

"I don't need a studio here, that's why I'm moving back to Pittsburgh," Justin said reminding Brian of the whole reason that started this adventure.

 

"If you're certain, then we will just look for an apartment. It will give us more time to find a suitable place. I imagine you won't need to keep anything but a few sketchbooks and some pencils and charcoals there." Brian took his sandwich and found a small table in the back for two. 

 

Justin unwrapped his sandwich and took several bites, nodding his head at Brian's statements. He put down his sandwich and wiped his mouth and then took a drink from his soda.

 

"When you took me to Britin you told me I didn't paint there very often as I was there so infrequently. I'm planning to be in New York a few days at a time to make the necessary meetings that Carol wants me to have. I won't have much time to paint. While I'm here I'll be attending other openings, looking at current exhibits, or doing the behind scenes prep. If I had a studio here, I wouldn't venture out to do those things as I'd be painting, and I don't want to paint here because that would keep me here longer than necessary."

 

Brian ate his turkey on whole wheat, no mayo and was pleased that it didn't taste like cardboard. He watched as Justin enthusiastically ate his roast beef hoagie and marveled, not for the first time, where he put all the food without gaining an ounce. When Justin was finished, he saw him looking at the order board.

 

"Want a dessert? We have a few minutes still."

 

"No, thanks. Nothing really sounds good. I'll wait till tonight. I'm sure the food will not be sandwiches if I know Brian Kinney."

 

"Twat," Brian said as he gathered his trash and walked toward the front of the shop and they grabbed a cab.

 

TBC


	32. It's Off To New York We Go

"Welcome to Anchor Associates," the attractive brunette said in greeting them. "How may I help you today?"

 

"I'm Brian Kinney and we have a 2:00 pm appointment."

 

"Mr. Anchor will be right out. I'll let him know you are here." She smiled at the two men and pointed to the overstuffed brown couch in the waiting room. "Can I get you a cup of coffee, some water, or a soda?"

 

Brian and Justin declined politely and sat down.

 

"I still can't get used to this. Just two days ago I was in Pittsburgh and we were making plans to have me come home and now we're here in New York looking for a new apartment. I'm going to be in a show. A real show... a real art gallery exhibit, Brian." Justin tried to keep his voice soft, but his enthusiasm made it rise a few decibels.

 

Brian smiled indulgently at Justin, happy that his exuberance for life and his art had not faded, despite his declarations that his inspiration was absent. He hoped this new arrangement would be successful for all involved, but he did have concerns about the logistics. Worrying never got anyone anywhere and he still believed in his philosophy of no apologies, no regrets so would move forward with this plan until either of them felt it was not a good one. He wondered again when Justin's happiness and well being became more important than anything else in his life. 

 

"Mr. Kinney," A tall African American man in his mid thirties said as he reached his hand to shake Brian's hand. "I'm Mr. Anchor and I'm happy to meet you. Let's go to my office and we can discuss your needs." He led the way down the hallway on the right and held his office door open for Brian and Justin.

 

"You can call me Brian and this is my partner, Justin," Brian said as they entered the room. 

 

"Then you can call me Brad... please have a seat," he said as he then shook hands with Justin before they all sat down. Brad typed in his password into the computer and sat down across from the two men.

 

"So, what are you looking for?"

 

"One bedroom, unfurnished close to the art district, preferably with a doorman."

 

"Is there a price range? Do you want to buy or rent?"

 

"Buy," said Brian.

 

"Rent," said Justin.

 

The two men looked at each other; Brian grinned and Justin looked exasperated.

 

"You're on the brink of great things and this isn't just a short term need. We're going to need a place to stay whenever we come to New York. We need to buy a place."

 

Justin opened his mouth and closed it without saying a word.

 

"You can stop with your fish imitation, Justin. Just let Brad show us some properties for sale, and if you really want, we can look at rentals."

 

"Okay." Justin nodded, realizing it was pointless, yet again, to argue with Brian. This wasn't just Brian taking over; it was Brian taking care of him and their needs.

 

Taking in the beautiful New York skyline and realizing that if they bought something he might be able to see this awe inspiring view a lot more frequently thrilled him more than he would admit. Brad brought up several properties for purchase and rent. Brian narrowed it down to 5 properties for sale and he and Justin agreed on three of them.

 

"It's a bit late in the day to start traveling around to properties, how about 10:00 tomorrow morning?"

 

"Excellent," Brian said as he shook Brad's hand. 

 

Brian and Justin left the Anchor offices and took a cab to Dolce and Gabbana. They were greeted by a middle age gentleman who gave Brian a large smile and an appreciative look, while almost ignoring Justin.

 

"We'd like to see some of your fall collection," Pointing to Justin, he said, "He needs to have a few pair of trousers, three shirts and two blazers."

 

The salt and pepper haired man who was wearing a classic brown suit smiled and pointed toward the left side of the store. They walked toward the area and the man followed them.

 

Brian looked through the blazers choosing two blazers: one unconstructed and one fitted, and also several trousers. Giving them to Justin, he pointed to the dressing room and Justin took the clothing, swinging his butt seductively as he walked away. Justin paired the first blazer and pants and walked out to model for Brian. Pretending to be on a runway, he turned slowly to give Brian a full view. 

 

Brian raised his eyebrows slightly and bit the nail of his thumb in appreciation.

"I take it you like?" Justin teased. He smiled at Brian and mouthed the words ‘later.' "I'll go try on the rest." Justin returned to the dressing room and put on the other pair of pants with the second blazer and returned to the store area where Brian was sitting quietly in the Massoud beige chair.

 

Brian gave a thumbs up at the second ensemble as well. He picked out several colored shirts to pair with the blazers, appealing to Justin's more artistic nature. Since Justin was a more casual dresser, he did not pick out any ties for him. They bought several pair of shoes as well.

 

"How quickly can your tailor hem these pants?" Brian asked the salesman.

 

"We can have them for you tomorrow. Is that soon enough? Our tailor will be here in the morning and we can have them made a priority." 

 

The salesman grabbed the pins and made the necessary notations. Grabbing his book, he wrote instructions for the alternations. 

 

"How would you like to pay for your purchase this afternoon?"

 

Brian handed the clerk his black American Express card and the gentleman wrote up the sale, hiding his own smile at the commission he would be making. Although he was also secretly wishing this gorgeous man wanted something to be tailored as well as he would very much enjoy measuring him. 

 

"Can you have this sent to our hotel? Here is the address and room number."

 

"Excellent, sir. Should I have the pants sent as well or do you want to return tomorrow for fitting?"

 

"Send them. It will be fine."

 

Brian and Justin left the Dolce and Gabbana store and grabbed a taxi directing the driver to Justin's apartment. They arrived and Brian took out his spare key, opening the door. 

 

Grabbing Justin by the shirt, he pulled the young man into a hot kiss. 

 

"They really should make you register that bubble butt of yours as a lethal weapon. I thought I was going to explode in there." Brian quickly undid the buttons on Justin's shirt, exposing his smooth chest and dusky nipples. Brian unbuckled Justin's cargoes and was quickly divesting the young man of his pants as well.

 

"Better. Much better. Bed. Now."

 

Justin walked to the bedroom as he saw Brian undressing out of the corner of his eye. By the time they reached the bedroom, both men were naked and ready. Justin grabbed the lube and the condom out of the nightstand, throwing them on the bed. He got on all fours and grabbed the lube, squirting some on his fingers and then moved his finger to his hole, starting to prepare it for Brian. He knew Brian loved watching him prepare himself, it was one of Brian's biggest turn ons and while he didn't need to turn on Brian at this point in time, he wanted to show Brian he was just as ready for their joining as Brian was.

 

He could hear Brian's heavy breathing as he enjoyed the site presented to him and continued to finger himself, preparing for the quick fuck he knew would occur. Brian got on the bed and without any hesitation ripped the condom foil and placed the condom on himself, aligning his cock with Justin's hole. He pulled Justin to him as he pushed inside, breaching the tightness.

 

Both men were ready, not needing or wanting foreplay, as Justin's shopping trip was sufficient prep. Pushing Justin down toward the bed gave him a better angle and he struck his prostate with each thrust. Justin pushed back and grabbed his cock to stroke it in time to Brian's thrusts. Brian held on to Justin's hips and slammed his cock inside, his balls slapping Justin's ass. 

 

"Justinnnnnnnnn," he yelled as his cum filled the condom.

 

"Briaaaannnnnnn,"Justin yelled as he squirted over his hand. 

 

After coming down from their powerful, fast orgasm, Brian rolled off Justin and Justin rolled over. He pulled off the condom, tied it off and threw it away.

 

"That was hot!!"

 

"Yeah. Maybe I should rethink the whole letting you take me shopping, if this is my reward. I could definitely get used to this." Justin leaned over and gave Brian a kiss, then stood up to grab a towel to wipe them off.

 

"Twat! I've always told you shopping is a turn on. Maybe now you will believe me." Brian leaned over and kissed Justin, hitting his ass before Justin returned the towel to the bathroom.

 

"We should get dressed. Jake will be here soon." Justin called as he walked to the bathroom, dropping the towel in the hamper.

 

Brian nodded but didn't say a word. He had to remind himself that Jake had done as he'd asked and cleaned up the apartment and kept him informed of any pressing matters. Still he was very angry with the young man for introducing Justin to the stripping business.

 

A knock on the door broke him out of his reverie and he finished pulling down his shirt before opening it. Brian opened the door and Justin came out of the bedroom, smiling at his friend.

 

"Jake, so good to see you." He moved toward his friend and hugged him. 

 

Jake returned the hug and slapped him on the back. 

 

"Good to see you, man. So you back for good? Everything ok? I know Peter was so excited when I told him you were back in town." Jake ignored Brian and directed all his attention to Justin.

 

"Peter?" Brian asked, making his presence known.

 

"Birthdays Unlimited," Justin answered.

 

"So glad he's excited," Brian said with as much sarcasm as he was capable of. "Tell him to fuck off. You are not going back to that gig." Brian frowned at the mention of the business.

 

Jake looked between Justin and Brian, confusion evident on his face. Justin had enjoyed the work; they'd talked about it many times. It allowed him to make money but also provided him with plenty of time to paint and work on his art. 

 

"Somebody want to tell me what's going on?"

 

Justin motioned for Jake to sit down, but not before he gave Brian a scowl, signaling him that he wasn't happy.

 

"It's a long story. Why don't I get us some beers," Justin said as he moved to the kitchen.

 

"Yes. I need a drink," Brian said. His voice short and curt, allowing his anger and frustration with the whole situation to come through. He hated knowing that possibly hundreds of men had seen Justin work as a stripper and hated that his gig ultimately led to a taxi ride and accident. Brian watched as Justin walked into the small kitchen to grab three beers. 

 

Justin was slightly taken aback at Brian's attitude, but he understood that Brian was very protective of him, especially with the recent memory issues. It was not unlike Brian to voice his dissatisfaction with a situation, but to treat Jake with the obvious disdain he was displaying was uncharacteristic. Jake had helped Brian with his apartment and Brian had told him earlier that Jake had cleaned the place and checked on it while he was in Pittsburgh. It was not like Brian to treat someone who had recently helped him with such a caustic attitude. Justin knew he had to tread carefully, give Jake the information he needed and also to try and diffuse Brian's sudden increased anger.

TBC


	33. The Truth or Is It?

The three men sat in the living room of Justin’s small apartment. Brian and Jake popped the tops of their beers and took a long draw while Justin played with the bottle, twirling it around and watching the condensation drops of moisture on the outside of the bottle. Darkness had descended on the apartment and the street noises were the only ones heard. Jake looked at Justin, noting his ease with Brian and the air of excitement in his body. He’d only known Justin for about 18 months, but recognized the slight tenseness of his body.

“Somebody want to fill me in? I’m getting so many vibes I can’t decide if you’re excited, disappointed, angry or what?” Jake asked as he looked between Justin and Brian.

“Let’s start with me. I’m doing well. I’ve recovered most of my memories. I say most as I can’t tell you what I don’t remember if I can’t remember it.” Justin grinned at the statement. He’d never put his thoughts regarding the nature of his loss into words, except to say it was very frustrating, especially when Brian wouldn't fill in the blanks. He was happy that most of his memories had returned and Brian was more willing to talk about things from their past. 

“That’s awesome. I was really worried there when Brian called. He was so worried about the accident and your memory loss. I can’t imagine losing my memories. Not remembering my life would suck. I know there have been some really shitty things that have happened in my life, but those experiences have made me who I am.” Jake took another drink from his beer and peeled the label back a touch. “Now that you’re memory has returned, when are you coming back?”

Justin sighed, but he didn’t realize he took the deep breath. He didn’t understand why this conversation should be so hard, but he was finding it difficult. He felt the adrenaline running through his veins as if he were starting to run a race. He’d talk about the feeling later with Brian. 

“I’m coming back here, but I’m not coming back here.”

“Ok. That made no sense at all. Care to explain?”

“Carol got some of my pieces into a show at Bretano’s.”

“Awesome. I knew if you just had time to paint you’d be a success. Guess your plan for getting more time to paint paid off. So I can call Peter and tell him to put you back on the schedule.”

“Not so fast,” Brian said, unable to let his anger stew any longer. “He is not and I repeat NOT returning to the stripper gig. EVER.” He slammed down his empty beer bottle on the small table so hard that it startled the other men.

“Whoa, dude. Calm down,” Jake said as he motioned with his hands, raising them above his chest and then lowering them to his waist several times. “I guess Justin never did get around to telling you about that gig.” Jake looked between Brian and Justin seeing Justin shaking his head.

“No and if I had any idea that he’d been doing that I would have put a stop to it.”

“Justin,” Jake said as he looked at his friend, the look spoke volumes, and Brian could almost hear the silent communication.

“Yes, Justin. I think your buddy Jake had encouraged you to tell me, but since you didn’t I would love to know why you decided otherwise.” Brian’s eyes bored into Justin, but his look did not appear to affect him.

“Brian,” Justin said. “You’re not my keeper. I really don’t like your insinuation.” Justin hadn’t really expected this attitude from Brian.”

“If you hadn’t been working then you wouldn’t have been in the accident,” Brian said, stating, what to him, was obvious. His voice had softened, but his frustration was obvious.

Justin recognized Brian’s feelings of losing control and didn’t say anything else. Brian expected his life to be predictable and the whole memory debacle had brought up many discussions that Brian probably would never have voluntarily entered into. He hoped they’d talk about it later; since Brian had been willing to talk. For now, it was enough that Brian was willing to support him so he could paint. 

“I get it, no stripping. But how are you going to have time to paint and get ready for a show working at the diner again? One show will hopefully lead to another show and you have to have pieces in place.” Jake recognized there was more to the discussion then Justin was willing to share and he accepted Justin’s right to privacy, although he really felt that Brian was blowing the whole stripping thing out of proportion.

“I said I was returning, but things have changed. We’re getting a place in the art district. I’m returning to Pittsburgh and going to paint there. I'll come here when I need to, which may only be once or twice a month. While I’m here I’ll be attending openings, gala events, talking to critics, and meeting with Carol. The majority of my painting time will be in Pittsburgh.”

Jake listened for a few minutes and nodded his head. He felt a huge sense of loss overcome his body and a chill run through it. Justin was leaving the city, leaving him. How could this be happening? They’d been friends since they met and he’d been one of his biggest fans. They would spend a lot of their free time going to galleries and shows, plotting their future fame and fortune and what their lives would be like when they were household names. He’d been cast in a new production, albeit far off Broadway, but still he was closer than he’d been and now Justin was going to have his work shown. Sadness came over him as he grieved for a part of his life that he didn’t realize was there. 

“Wow. This isn’t what we envisioned, but wow,” Jake said with just a little enthusiasm. 

“Brian and I saw a realtor this afternoon and picked out a few properties. I still need a place to stay when I’m here and Brian doesn’t really like this place, too struggling artist for his taste,” Justin said as he teased Brian. “I’ll be packing a few things to take with me, but most of the stuff here is going to be donated to Goodwill. Anything you want, feel free to take.” Justin stopped his dialogue and had second thoughts. “I know you’ve always liked my apartment better than yours. You could take over the lease. I’d be happy to talk to the super for you. That would save me from a lot of hassle.”

“Thanks, I’ll think about it. You are in a better location than I am. And you have hot water in the winter without yelling about it. I’ll talk to my roommate, Sam, see what he thinks, but I think he’ll say yeah.” Jake eyed the little apartment with a critical eye of a prospective tenant and could see himself moving. Justin did have some nice stuff, even if that Kinney guy didn’t think so. “So you’re moving, like now as in today or tomorrow?” 

“Yeah. Well, maybe not that quick. Got to give notice to the super and arrange for pickup of the stuff, but pretty much in a few days. But like I said, if you want the place, you can have it. I’m sure, the super, wouldn’t care as long as he has it rented.”

“I’ll talk to Sam tonight. Since I still have your key, can we come by in the morning? He works afternoons so he can play at the bar at night. Don’t talk to the super until we get a chance to see it?” 

Justin nodded, and then smiled at the ease of the conversation, taking the way things were falling into place as a good sign, even though he really didn’t believe in signs.

“Can I ask you something?” Jake asked hesitantly.

“Sure.”

“What changed? I mean you seemed really happy with the way things were going. The stripper gig was going great. You were working 3 maybe 4 nights a week and the rest of your time was yours to paint. You told me you were painting a lot and had a bunch of canvases to show Carol. Was it the accident? Did you change your mind as a result of the accident?”

Justin finished his beer and placed it in the recycle container in the small kitchen. He didn’t understand why he hesitated in answering Jake’s question, but he recognized the deferring tactic and it bothered him a little. Returning to the living area, he gave Brian a quick kiss and then sat down.

“As I told Brian, I was ready to go back to Pittsburgh. I had made up my mind; I wanted to go home. I figured I could paint anywhere and bring Carol my slides. I missed him a lot and while I could pay my own way, I’d been here two years and nothing was happening.”

“So you were already thinking this before your accident?”

“Yeah. But then I lost my memory and Brian and I were dealing with the aftermath of that disaster. I finally remembered I was an artist and I had told Brian I wanted to come back to the Pitts. Then fate intervened and Carol called with the gallery offer.”

“I’m not really understanding. You were going to return to Pittsburgh since nothing was happening with your painting but now that something is happening, you still want to live in Pittsburgh. Don’t you think you would do better staying here and concentrating on your painting and being seen by the movers and shakers?”

Justin twisted his hands like Macbeth, realizing that he would have to answer this question multiple times in the upcoming weeks. He recognized that Brian wasn’t the only one who would need convincing or at least an explanation. 

“Two years was long enough. I wanted to be with Brian. My art is important, but I decided that I could paint anywhere and fly to New York when needed. It’s easier to fly to New York on a set schedule, then to up and come to Pittsburgh on a whim. I was no longer willing to sacrifice my happiness for my art as sacrificing left me with huge gaps in life. I need to be happy to work on my art and the only way for me to be truly happy is to be with Brian.” Justin looked at Brian as he finished his little speech, trying to read his expression and determine the impact of his words. To his pleasant surprise, Brian smiled and gave a nod of his head at his impassioned speech. Justin smiled at Brian, happy that Brian finally got his message.”

“I think in the back of my mind, this surge of painting was my last chance, the opportunity to see if I could do this and then I was done.”

Jake peeled off the label of his beer and twirled the bottle in his hand as he listened to Justin. He looked between Justin and Brian trying to read each of them. He knew Justin pretty well but had only met Brian twice, and both of those times were right after the accident. There was something he was missing, but he didn’t know what it was.

“Justin, that makes no sense. You said you were going to give your painting one last chance and then you were going to move back, but now you have a part in a show and you’re still moving back. Which one is it?”

Justin swallowed hard and took another deep breath. Looking at Brian for reassurance, he only saw a neutral face, deciding that Brian was waiting for an answer as well. Brian might not push him as much as a result of his accident, but Jake really hadn’t seen the problems he’d been dealing with lately. Jake was going to treat him just like he did before the accident.

“Those might not be the right words. I took the job because it gave me more money and then I’d have actual free time to paint. But then, like I told Brian, once I had time, I lost a lot of my inspiration. So much of my life prior to the new job had been thinking about finding time to paint and energy to do so. Once I had time, I found it more difficult. The return to Pittsburgh was not about giving me one last chance, but rather about realizing my priorities. Most of the art that Carol has now are pieces that I painted when I was with Brian, not stuff that I did here. I came to realize that time wasn’t really the problem. I could have all the time in the world and still feel a void where it came to my painting. Brian fills that void and when the void is filled, I can paint.” 

Justin looked toward Brian first and watched him nod his head slightly. Brian listened and appeared to understand Justin’s thoughts. Justin felt better, feeling the adrenaline dissipate in his body. Hoping he had finally convinced Brian that his intentions were true and not some scheme to give up his dream of becoming an artist. He looked at Jake and saw a similar look on his face and was pleased that it appeared his friend understood the situation.

“Okay then.” Jake nodded his acceptance, even if he still felt there was more to the situation than Justin was sharing. “Promise you’ll keep in touch. I hate the idea of losing a close friend.”

“They haven’t gotten rid of cell phones or subways and buses. I’ll be here frequently and we can always talk or text. When is the opening of your play? I want to be here for that.” Justin hit him lightly on the arm, showing his camaraderie.

“The play opens November 20th.”

“Great. I’m sure I have to be in New York sometime around that period, so be sure to save me some tickets.”

“That’d be great. Well, is there anything I can do to help?”

“Look around and see if there is anything you want from my prized possessions. But first, we need to grab some food. I’m starving. Want to join us?”

Brian smiled and laughed at Justin.

“I wondered when the topic of food would come up. You haven’t been fed in over 7 hours; that's a record for you,” Brian teased as he stood up. “Pizza? I know there’s a good place around the corner and I can get a decent salad.”

“Coming Jake?” Justin asked as he also stood up and walked to the door. 

“Sure. I didn’t get a chance to grab anything before I left.”

The three men shared a pizza and then Brian and Justin returned to their hotel. Brian opened the mini bar and grabbed two beers and went to the sofa waving Justin over. Justin grabbed one of the beers, popped its top and took a draw.

“I feel like ran a race today.” Justin yawned as he laid his head on the back of the sofa. “It must be all the adrenaline shooting through my veins. I don’t think the reality has set in.”

“That was some speech you gave Jake at your apartment,” Brian said, encouraging Justin to talk to him, a more common occurrence in the Brian Kinney repertoire than before the accident. 

“It wasn’t a speech. We talked about all of it. Don’t you believe me?” Justin sat up from the back of the sofa and looked at Brian, trying to discern if he was teasing or serious.

“It’s not about whether I believe you or not. You’re the one who has to believe in what you say.” Brian finished his beer, placing it on the table. Looking Justin in the eye, he said, “You told me you wanted to return to Pittsburgh to paint because you weren’t creating quality pieces here. It sounded like you were questioning your abilities to paint, especially with the new found free time you had. Coming home was a solution to your problem.”

“I finally had the time to paint, but my work’s been nothing but crap.”

“All artists go through bad periods. Are you sure that wasn’t the cause?” Brian was pushing but he would rather push now then to not address the issues at hand.

Justin didn’t answer right away. He stood up, walked around the hotel room and went to the window overlooking the New York skyline. It was beautiful, magnificent in fact and part of him wanted to find his sketchbook to draw the scene, but another part of him knew this was not the time to do so. Brian’s words stung. A feeling of dread came over his body, his heart felt like it was beating so fast as if he’d run a race. He could feel the heat traveling to his face and the sting of his tears burned his cheeks.

“I knew you weren’t okay with this. I’m sorry.” His world crashing around him as his dreams of having it all crumbled like the twin towers. 

Brian hated to see tears from anyone; they made him uncomfortable. Gus’ tears were always a result of some kind of injury, usually physical but sometimes emotional, whereas Lindsey’s tears were usually emotional, and frequently used for blackmail. But Justin’s tears were heart wrenching to Brian. Justin did not use his tears, they just meant he was experiencing very strong emotion, and tonight was no different. Brian chided himself for causing them. He knew Justin was still recovering from his accident and his emotions were like a seesaw. Again, he cursed silently realizing why he hated conversations. He was always so much better at actions, but unfortunately, sometimes words were necessary. Brian walked over to Justin and placed his arms around his chest, pulling his partner toward him and spoke in soft tones.

“Sorry is bullshit. Don’t apologize. I’m fine with you coming home. I just don’t want you to have any regrets.”

“What ever happened to no apologies, no regrets?” Justin said between gulps of short breaths.

“A wise man taught me that both are sometimes necessary,” Brian said as he grinned.

“But I forced you into a corner. I told you I was coming home. It should have been a mutual decision,” Justin said as he wiped the tears from his cheek.

“Life is not a negotiation, Justin. A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. I heard that from a very wise man, once,” Brian said as he quoted Justin’s words, hoping Justin would recognize them.

“So you’re really okay with this?” Justin recognized the words, his words and felt a surge of pride that Brian was quoting him. Stepping back, he looked at Brian’s eyes, knowing his words could say yes, but his eyes could never lie.

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I want the world’s best bubble butt at my disposal and the latest up and coming artist living with me? I would be a fool if I turned down that proposition and while my parents were assholes of the worst kind, they did not raise a fool.” Brian smiled as he teased Justin, hoping Justin would finally believe his acceptance of his choices. Giving Justin a kiss on the lips as he finished his statement, Justin could feel the love and acceptance of Brian’s words in his actions.

“I love you,” Justin said as he kissed Brian softly on the lips. “Let me show you how the world’s best bubble butt can please the world’s best top.” 

Justin pulled away and walked seductively toward the bedroom. Pulling off his shirt, he tossed it toward the chair, but missed. Dropping his pants before he got to the bed, he yelled toward Brian, “World’s best bubble butt on display- waiting for the world’s best t…”

He didn’t get to finish as he was tackled by Brian.


	34. Back Home Where I Belong

The wake up call from the front desk woke both men from a sound sleep. Neither man was really ready to get up, but they knew they had a busy day and needed to start early if they were to leave in the late evening. Brian had an important meeting at 10:00 the next day so he would have to return tonight or take the red eye. They'd decided to get as much done today and come back on the weekend if needed. They grabbed breakfast at the diner around the corner and started their day.

Arriving at Anchor associates just before 10:00, they were met by Brad and took a cab to the first property. He showed them all the amenities and left them alone in the small bedroom area to talk.

"This place is nice," Justin said after the quick showing.

"It's a matchbox. I can barely turn around and not bump into anything," Brian said

"It's New York. It's not like you're going to be living here. At best, we'll be sleeping here a few nights a month."

"Let's not decide yet," Brian said. "Let's see the next place."

They took a cab to their second destination. Brad had to show credentials and ID to the doorman as well as have a special key to use the elevator before going into the apartment. 

"At least I would know you'll be safe here. There's more security than Fort Knox."

"Briannnn. I'm an adult. I'll be fine."

"You keep telling yourself that, Sunshine. I seem to recall a few late night phone calls where you were freaking out when you thought you were being followed on your way home."

"Well, ummm"

"As you were saying, Brad...." Brian grinned at catching Justin. He was just as scared, he just didn't want to admit it. Justin was always getting into difficult situations; it was just his nature, especially the damn car accident. Brian was always protective of him; it was just natural.

Brad finished extolling the virtues of the second apartment which included a nice view and again left Brian and Justin in the bedroom of the place to review its merits. "

"This is much better. I don't feel like I'm in a sardine can."

"But Brian, this place is almost 50,000 more than the other place. It seems a waste to spend that kind of money on something that only gets used 2-3 days a month. The other place is more practical." 

"I told you that cost is not an issue. We can use it as a business expense. I'm getting more customers in New York and we need a comfortable space, not that hole in a wall you call an apartment."

Justin turned to Brad, "You said there was another property. Can you show us that one?"

"Sure, but I also found several others for you to see too."

The third property was a dump and neither of them liked it. Justin liked the fourth property but Brian didn't; but the fifth was a good place.

"I like this place," Justin said as he eyed the marble counters. "There's plenty of space for me to cook."

"The bathroom is big enough for both of us to shower together," Brian said, as he eyed his partner. Justin in a studious mode always was a turn on. Actually Justin in any mode was a turn on, but he dampened down his urges, knowing they had deadlines to meet.

"We'll take it," they both said in unison. They laughed at their ability to answer in unison, but not surprising as both their thoughts were focused on said shower.

"I guess it was meant for us to have it. Now what do we do? I've never bought a house before," Justin asked.

"We have it inspected, then we go to the bank for a loan and there is a shit ton of paperwork that has to be completed before we move in."

"You mean we don't just sign the paperwork and move in next week?" Justin asked, a little bewildered by the whole process.

"Twat. Of course not. Haven't you picked up anything from mother Taylor? She's talked about going to a closing. I know; I've heard her."

"So what is a closing?"

"It's when you sign all the loan documents, the deed and any other legal papers. A realtor is often there making sure everything goes smoothly."

"Oh." Justin nodded, thinking he understood a little more of the process. "I guess I better keep my other place a while till the sale goes through. Just in case I need to come up before we have this one."

"Nope. We're continuing with the notice. If we have to come back, we'll just stay in the hotel."

"Okay."

"Great. Let's go back to the office and I'll draw up the papers."

They returned to the office and completed the necessary paperwork. It was three in the afternoon and Justin was hungry.

"Can we grab a sandwich before we hit the packing store?"

Brian didn't answer as he turned into a small shop as they left the building.

"I knew you were hungry. I could hear your stomach growling the entire time we were doing paperwork. When you went to get a drink, I asked Brad for information about a quick place to eat. He suggested this deli."

"Thanks."

After lunch, they went to the packing store for a few boxes and started packing Justin's apartment. Jake had called earlier and said that he did want the apartment, so the only things Justin and Brian had to pack were his clothes and a few personal items.

"Thank goodness you are not bringing this shit with you." Brian waved at the kitchen contents and the furniture.

"You are such a label queen. It's a good thing you can afford the high end furnishings." Justin teased as he wrapped a glass snow globe that Daphne had given him as a birthday present the year before. "You know there are a lot of people who would be thrilled with my apartment, for instance, Jake."

 

"Well Jake is a starving artist, so he can't be picky," Brian said as he picked up a key chain of the Empire State building. "Justin, do you pick up souvenirs of every tourist trap in New York? So far, I've seen a key chain from the Empire State Building, a magnet from the Statue of Liberty and a flashing ball key ring from Times Square." Brian tossed the third item into a small shoe box filled with similar items.

"Well.... There's nothing wrong with picking up mementos. You never know when someone will come visit or you have to make a quick visit and need a present." Justin said in way of defense of his little collection. "When Gus was here last summer, I gave him a key chain from the ferry. He was thrilled. He didn't know any different and the last time I was there, it was displayed on his bulletin board."

"Gus is 7. What do you expect?"

Justin rolled his eyes and ignored Brian. Brian had little understanding of souvenirs or special gifts as a result of growing up in a cold and unfeeling family where the only gifts were those given to the church and family vacations did not exist. Justin had been lucky as a child and he cherished his memories of family vacations.

"I'm so happy my memories came back."

"Me too, but what brought that on?"

"I was just remembering family vacations and the cool pens and art sets I always got as souvenirs."

"I'm happy that you remember even the little things." Brian kissed Justin and pulled him into a hug. "Things happen every day and we never know what will be important. "

"I appreciate all you're doing for me." Justin said as he placed the wrapped snow globe in the box. He turned to pick up another picture frame; this one of him and Brian taken at Kinnetik's opening. He fingered the glass as the memory of that night came back as well.

"Well, I guess you can show your appreciation. We won't be interrupted this time." Brian smiled as he took the picture frame out of Justin's hands and properly kissed him, exploring the eager mouth. 

Justin returned the kiss feeling his erection growing in his pants as it rubbed against Brian's matching one. There was never a more exciting feeling then Brian pressing against his body. It was a feeling that he felt would never grow old and would get his blood boiling quickly. Brian's touch was always one he could not ignore, even in recent times before he remembered their partnership, his touch brought warmth and fire to his body and today was no different. The feel of Brian's tongue exploring his mouth, his body pressed against Brian's and his hands sliding up and down his back brought Justin's need for release to a head. 

Quickly he undid Brian's pants and quickly pushed his underwear out of the way. Grabbing Brian's turgid cock, he stoked it to bring it to its full length. Immersing himself in the softness of the skin as he marveled at its hardness as well. Brian divested him of his clothing as quickly as possible and moved them to the bed where with little momentum had them lying on the bed in a strong embrace.

The heavy breaths of both men filled the room and as usual they were oblivious to anything but themselves. Their hearts were racing to an unseen finish and their blood rushed their veins at a heightened rate. Even after seven years, their lust and pull toward each other had not diminished, in fact in had most likely increased. Each man yearned to prolong the buildup but neither could restrain their bodies from surging to the finish line. 

Brian reached for the condom and lube that they conveniently left on the nightstand. Flipping the top, he squirted some of the cold gel on his fingers but moved his fingers together to warm it up slightly before reaching underneath Justin and finding his hole, stroking the outside perineum and then gently pushing inside the tight channel. Justin's unconscious grunt at the intrusion was ignored by both men and Brian pistoned his finger in and out of the familiar opening. 

"More," Justin said with baited breath.

Brian pushed two fingers in the hole and then three to fully stretch his partner. This continued for a short while, but probably was only 30 seconds or less. The flush on Justin's face and his short breaths were a familiar indication that he was ready for Brian. Pulling out his fingers, he wiped them on the bed, pulling back for a minute to place the condom on his cock. 

Justin raised his legs, allowing easy access to his body and Brian slowly eased in. Waiting until Justin gave the signal, a push of his hips to meet Brian, Brian then thrust fully into Justin. Justin wrapped his legs around Brian's back and pushed up to meet each thrust. Justin's phone rang but he didn't hear it, too engrossed in the joining of his partner. Brian thrust in and out of the tight channel and closed his eyes as he focused on his pleasure.

"Please," Justin urged, telling Brian in their short communication that it was time for deep thrusts and more stimulation.

Brian sped up his thrusts and grabbed Justin's hand placing it on his cock, encouraging him to stimulate himself. Justin stroked himself as he met Brian for each stroke and felt the familiar tingling in his balls and the warmth spread throughout his body. His breathing was labored, finishing the familiar race and he felt the moment his orgasm hit. The pulses of his cum squirting over them was a welcome release and he felt Brian filling the condom a few seconds later.

Brian waited as long as possible before he rolled over, gripping the condom as he left Justin's body. Pulling it off, he tied it and threw it toward the trash can. Brian lay there for a few minutes and waited until his breath returned to normal, listening to Justin as his breathing returned to normal as well.

"See how much I appreciate you?" Justin giggled.

"I can see the value of your appreciation. Guess you will be showing me a lot of appreciation in the near future. Think you're up to that?"

"I will most definitely be up to that, but... does that surprise you? I mean you were always so adamant about no repeats. Why did it change? Any ideas? I don't think we ever talked about it, but if so, I don't remember."

Brian lifted his body on his elbow and turned toward Justin, trying to judge the seriousness of the question and deciding that he indeed, wanted an answer. Of course he hadn't talked about it, he didn't want to, nor need to. But he was never one to deny Justin anything.

 

 

"No."

"No, what Brian?"

"No we never talked about it and no, it doesn't bother me."

"You are one stubborn man. Care to elaborate?"

Brian sat up in bed, pushing his back against the headboard and pulled Justin between his legs. He ran his hands through Justin's hair and kissed his head lightly. He didn't say a word, just stroked Justin softly.

"You're different."

Justin didn't repeat the question, just waited to see if Brian would elaborate.

"All the other guys were just fucks, unimportant. No names, no memorable faces, just a way to fill a need... it's not a fuck with you... it never has been."

"Oh." He grabbed Brian's arms and wrapped them around his own torso as he squeezed them tightly, giving himself a hug using Brian's arms, thrilled that Brian didn't fight and squeezed him even tighter. Lifting one of the arms, he raised it to his mouth and kissed it. "I guess we better get dressed. Our flight leaves in a few hours and we have more stuff to pack." 

Brian kissed the top of Justin's hair and got out of the bed, happy that Justin understood he didn't want to talk anymore.

"What time is the plane? Are you sure you don't want to leave me here so I can finish up? I'm fine, really."

"No, you are not staying here. We can come back. We will be back next weekend to meet with Carol and take care of anything else. Right now, you need to set up things at Britin. If you're going to paint there, you need to get the place ready for Justin the artiste."

Justin placed the last of the pictures in the box and sealed it with packing tape. Looking around, he felt a sadness that his life was once again relegated to a few boxes, but he also felt a sense of hope for the first time in at least two years.

 

"Okay. That's the last of the stuff. Hopefully Jake can decide if he wants the place pretty soon. I'd hate to pay rent for any length of time."

Brian looked at Justin, giving him a raised eyebrow that said way more than any words could. Justin just nodded, getting the message loud and clear.

"Let's go home," Justin said as he came up to Brian and kissed him on the lips.

"Our taxi should be here in a few. I called for one earlier and we should wait downstairs."

"You think of everything. Thank you again."

"Don't thank me yet. You still have to tell all our family in Pittsburgh about the little change in your living situation. I'm pretty sure they will not all be as understanding as Jake was."

"Shit!"

"Shit is right. Now get your little bubble butt downstairs. We have a plane to catch."


	35. The Whole Truth

They arrived in Pittsburgh and were picked up by the car service. Justin lay his head on Brian's shoulder, feeling suddenly very tired from their whirlwind tour of New York. He yawned and quickly closed his eyes succumbing to exhaustion. Brian placed his arm around Justin's shoulder, pulling him close to him as he too closed his eyes allowing the hum of the car lull him to sleep as well. Too quickly for both men, the service pulled up in front of the loft.

"Mr. Kinney, we've arrived."

Brian blinked as he heard his name called. He shook his head to clear the sleep from his body and shook Justin slightly to wake him as well.

"Mmm?" Justin said, the sleep making his voice groggy. 

"Wakey, wakey. We're home."

"Oh." Justin stretched, showing a little skin on his torso.

Brian grabbed their bags and they took the lift up to the loft, dropping the bags at the door.

"Bed is calling. I've got a meeting in the morning and I need to be brilliant and you have a meeting with Mother Taylor."

They quickly got ready for bed and fell asleep within minutes, Brian with his arm around Justin's torso.

In the morning, Brian they gave each other mutual blow jobs, and then they joined each other in the shower. Brian grabbed the shampoo and poured some in his hand and proceeded to wash Justin's hair.

"What time are you meeting Mother Taylor?"

"11:00."

"I would love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation."

"She'll be thrilled about the show and I know she will like that I'm moving here." Justin said as he turned around and rinsed the shampoo out of his hair. He grabbed the soap to wash Brian's chest. 

"Well she won't need convincing but I'm not sure the other folks will be as generous."

"You really think it will be a problem?" Justin asked as washed Brian's chest.

"I think Lindsay will be the biggest protester." Brian turned around and grabbed the shampoo to wash his own hair. Since their height difference was substantial, it was difficult for Justin to wash his hair. "She's always harping on how New York is your chance. I doubt she's going to change her mind especially now that you've landed a show." Brian leaned down and kissed Justin who gave him a huge "Sunshine" smile at the thought of his upcoming show.

"I'm finally going to live what I've always said, ‘that you are my future' not New York. I think our plan will work out well. I'm worried about Michael. When he hears that you're supporting me, I'm sure he will have lots to say."

"At least you've had some practice explaining things. I think Jake was a good test subject." Brian turned off the water and grabbed the towels, giving one to Justin and taking the other for himself. "I have every confidence in your ability to handle the masses, but I have to get to Kinnetik so you'll just have to tell me all about it tonight."

Dressing in the new trousers and shirt Brian purchased for him, Justin got ready for his meeting with his mother. He felt like a 17 year old with his purchases, remembering how his mother used to take him shopping so he could look presentable at the country club brunches he was forced to endure. However, after looking at Brian eyeing him in his new ensemble, he changed his mind. The appreciative look he was giving him told him Brian was pleased... very pleased.

"It's a shame I can't undress you and fuck you into the mattress; you are hot, but Brown Athletic calls."

"Keep those thoughts up." Justin said with a knowing smirk and licked his lips, teasing a little, but Brian just shook his head and left the loft.

Justin ate a bagel and looked at the mail after Brian left. He had a couple hours before meeting his mom, so he called Daphne.

"Justin, how are you? I've been crazy busy trying to get everything ready for my office opening. It's only two weeks away. I'm holding you to your promise to be there." Daphne sat down on her favorite overstuffed blue chair and propped her feet on the coffee table, making herself comfortable for a long chat with her dearest friend.

"Well that is one of the reasons I'm calling." Justin sat on the bar stool and gave himself a little push, turning himself around, something that Brian always frowned at. 

"Justin Cole Taylor. You promised you would be here and that was only a few weeks ago. I will fly up to New York and drag you back myself if I have to. I'll enlist the services of one Brian Kinney to help me," Daphne said, her voice raising slightly as her ire increased.

Justin laughed at her unnecessary threats.

"Don't think I won't do it."

"You won't need to send Brian after me," Justin said calmly, waiting a few seconds to drop his latest news. "Especially since I'll be living here from now on."

"Justin!!!!!! Oh MY GOD!!!!!" She yelled into the phone and he moved the ear piece out of the way. When she stopped screaming he put the phone back to his ear and asked, "Are you finished yelling in my ear? I would like to hear for another few decades."

"You're moving back here. When? How? What happened? Dish!!" she said, and then stopped for a few moments. "Justin, everything's okay? Right? This isn't a need to move? Please tell me you're okay. You seemed to be doing fine when we met for lunch last week."

"I'm fine. More than fine. I got a call from Carol, my agent. She showed some pieces to Bretano's and they want to show my work."

"So if you're showing your work in New York, why aren't you staying there? You moved there so you could paint. You're really confusing me."

"I got a few pieces in a show, but those are pieces I'd painted while I was here visiting Brian. Everything I painted while I was in New York was uninspired and crap, but anything I painted here was great. I decided that I needed to move back so all my work can be wonderful. I made the decision before I found out about the show. The two aren't connected."

"So you're telling me it took you two years to figure this out? That doesn't sound like the Justin Taylor I've known since we were in kindergarten." Daphne pulled out a pigtail that she had at her right side and refastened it, more for something to do then it needing to be tightened. She then did the other pigtail as well as she waited for her best friend to enlighten her on this convoluted thoughts.

"I'm slow?" Justin said in a teasing voice.

"Bullshit. Out with it."

"I've been scrambling for so long to find time to paint that my energy was more on the idea of painting then creating. After I had the gig as a stripper and I had time to paint, I found I was really uninspired. I was only inspired when I was here, with Brian. I had all the time in the world to paint, but no inspiration. I figured if I couldn't paint, then why be in New York. I could paint just as well in Pittsburgh but at least I could do it where I could see Brian."

Daphne mulled over Justin's explanation and thought back to her last few encounters with him. Each time she had gone to New York, Justin barely had time to turn around, much less paint and she remembered her last visit a few months before his accident. Justin had been able to spend a good portion of his day with her, but he didn't talk about his art, something that she had found odd and a little disconcerting. Justin had always talked about his art with Daphne, talking about his latest piece or ideas he'd had for a new piece or if nothing else about a new exhibit that he absolutely must see. She hadn't thought about it until now since she was really appreciative that he'd had time to spend with her and they'd gone shopping for some small gifts to take back with her. 

"So you're moving back. Where you going to live? Do you need a job? I think my friend Miranda said something about needing a part time assistant." Daphne stood up from her comfortable chair and put her phone on speaker as she walked to the kitchen to make her lunch for the day.

"I'm going to live at Britin with Brian, and he told me I can try painting here for six months without having to work."

"You'll be a kept man. Boy Toy. You'll finally live up to your name." She grinned as she grabbed the lettuce and cheese from the fridge.

"Daphne, not you too." Justin frowned at Daphne's teasing. He knew that many people would think that was their arrangement. Sex on demand while Justin drabbled in painting or whatever made him happy. 

"I'm teasing, stupid boy. And yes, I'm calling you boy cause today you're really showing how you can be really dumb. Brian loves you. I've known that for years and he doesn't just love you for your body, although it's surprising you two don't spontaneously combust, it's not about the sex. That first night after the accident when he brought you home, I just wanted to hug him tight and assure him you'd be fine. He was so upset and he hated that you didn't remember your relationship with him. It just about killed him."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Really. He's not the same man who picked you up from under a streetlight, Justin. How is he with you moving home? Is it freaking him out?"

"The one good thing that came out of the accident is the talks we've had. I get the impression we never talked about a lot of the stuff we've discussed in the last few weeks. It's great. I mean... well you know, before... I didn't bring up a lot of stuff because I knew he didn't like talking, but after the accident when I didn't remember stuff I just asked. He didn't get mad because he knew I was trying to piece together my life. I'm sure there was stuff that he would have never talked about before that he shared now." Justin opened the freezer to see if there were any casseroles or other premade meals from Debbie in there. He wanted to stay home with Brian tonight so they could start planning his move. He knew that while Brian complained about Debbie and her need to feed them, he did appreciate her caring and the occasional casserole was the closest he would come to having comfort food.

"You didn't answer my question. I take it Brian is okay with this move?"

"It's complicated. He wants me home. He misses me. Don't you ever tell him I told you that, he would kill me. He really freaked about the stripper thing- more so I think because I got in the accident, but I don't think he really liked the whole thing anyway. Either way, to guarantee I don't find a similar gig here, he offered to support me for six months."

"So he really is going to be your sugar daddy?"

"No. I'm going to paint and hopefully the pieces I have in the show will sell and I can pay my way with those until I get another show." He placed the casserole on a dish and set it in the fridge to defrost. He'd stop at the market after visiting with his mom and pick up the makings for a salad and a few pieces of fruit.

"That is so exciting. I've always known you were talented. Tell me about the show. I want to know all the details." Daphne grabbed some turkey and a hardboiled egg and put those in the salad. She didn't mention that she knew Brian wasn't Justin's sugar daddy no matter what anyone else thought. She kept that thought to herself though. She didn't think Justin needed to hear anything more about their living agreement. Brian was going to marry Justin once, there's no way that Brian would offer Britin for anything less than forever, no matter what the circumstances were right now.

"The show is at Bretano's." Justin picked up the pad of paper that was by the phone and a pencil, starting to doodle the logo for the gallery. "I'll have six pieces in the show. I think there are 5 artists - so about 30 pieces total. The opening will be in early December, before all the holiday parties start. Carol says that is a great time to have a show. She said people get busy with the season but early December people aren't tired of parties and dressing up. She told me the show last year was a huge success and she mentioned the artists too. All of them are accepted in the up and coming circle so I hope she is right." He'd filled the first paper and walked over to his sketch pad and started sketching a new piece with Brian as his subject. 

"I'll have to put the dates in my calendar. This is so exciting. I'm opening my practice and you are getting your first big show. Who would have thought this is where we would be a few years ago?" Daphne placed some crackers in a bag and placed a fork and knife in her lunch tote.

"Oh and Brian and I are buying an apartment. It has the most gorgeous view and it has a doorman." Justin said. 

"What? You're buying a fucking apartment. Why would you buy an expensive ass New York apartment if you're painting here?" Daphne checked her lunch tote and put it back in the fridge. She grabbed a small container of peach yogurt and went back to her blue chair. "Brian is really going all out."

"He said he doesn't want to use my old place, it's not nice enough for him. He insisted we buy a new one. So now I'll have a country manor and a house in the city. He must really love me," Justin said with a touch of awe in his voice. "I mean it, Daph. I guess I never really thought about it, but he bought me Britin and now he's buying an apartment in New York." Justin doodled a new sketch of Brian but this time he drew a huge smile on his face, one that only he got to see.

"I just don't understand why you need an apartment if you're going to live here." Daphne grabbed the nail file by the lamp and filed a few rough nails.

"Oh I forgot that part."

"You forgot. Are you absolutely sure that you have recovered all your memories from the accident?" Daphne frowned at Justin's words. She was worried that Justin wasn't being completely honest with her. She vowed to talk to Brian about the situation as soon as possible. 

"Well Carol wants me to come to the city a few times a month so I can be seen. You know, talk to the critics, go to openings and we need a place to stay."

"So Brian's going to go with you 2-3 times a month to New York?" Daphne asked. This seemed a bit extreme for someone like Brian with his own expanding and hugely successful business. She knew Brian was in love with Justin but she highly doubted that he would be accompanying Justin 2-3 times a month to New York. "Did you just look at places or did you actually buy one?"

"Well we signed some papers. Brian said we haven't bought it yet till we have something called a closing. I guess I should ask my mom about it. He seemed to be amused that I didn't know how it all worked, but I've never bought anything before, just rented." 

Daphne was feeling a little less apprehensive after Justin's explanation but she still wanted to talk to Brian. While she was thrilled to have Justin back in her backyard, she wondered if this was too much too soon.

"You decided to come back home and paint because you're creativity stalled."

"Yes."

"Any other reasons you wanted to come home?"

"No, not really."

"Justin this seems very sudden. I mean the last time I was in New York you didn't say a word about returning to Pittsburgh. True you didn't talk about your paintings a lot, but I know sometimes you get stuck. Creativity gets stalled. Justin what aren't you telling me." Daphne used her calm voice and realized if she didn't get a satisfactory answer, she might resort to some counseling techniques.

"It's not important. It doesn't matter anymore." Justin said very softly, hoping that she would leave the statement alone.

"Justin.... What do you mean anymore?"

Justin's phone alarm went off. He sighed a breath of relief; he didn't have time to finish the conversation and maybe Daphne would forget by the next time they talked.

"I got to go, Daph. I'm meeting my mom at 11:00 and I promised her I'd be there on time since she has a meeting at 1:00. Talk to you later."

"I heard you Justin, but we aren't finished with this conversation."

"Yeah, I know... Later Daph." Justin hung up the phone. He grabbed his wallet and cell phone and walked to the bus stop. He wondered how Daphne managed to get him to tell things that no one else could get out of him. The bus drove up a few minutes later and he got on. He decided he should tell her the truth, the whole truth, not just the reason he shared with Brian and maybe she could help him with a plan.

 

TBC


	36. Revelations 2:0

Daphne looked at her phone, staring at the pink covered rectangle and thought for a few moments. Justin was definitely hiding something, something big and she knew she needed him to tell her what it was. She debated on calling Brian and sharing the information with him, but decided against it. Brian had been keeping her informed of Justin's progress relating to his memory problems and she didn't think this new problem had anything to do with his memory concerns. This had to do with returning to Pittsburgh. She mentally kicked herself for not pushing the last time she was in New York. She knew something was off, but believed Justin when he said he was just tired. She grabbed her lunch out of the fridge, her car keys and her cell. She checked her cell phone's calendar app and saw she had two appointments this morning but was free after 12:30 until 5:00. She vowed to talk to Justin before the day was over.

 

Justin sat on the bus, replaying his phone conversation with Daphne. Relief came over him now that he had hinted at his problem. He needed to talk to his friend, but first he had to get through his coffee date with his mom. He pulled the cord on the bus, letting the driver know he needed to get off at the next stop. He eyed the familiar coffee shop and thanked his mom for working in the city. Oftentimes she met him at the diner but today she had a showing at 9:00 and one at 1:00 so she couldn't work it out to meet him there. He was thankful as he didn't want their conversation to be "accidently" overheard by anyone in their little sphere. And considering the Liberty Diner, anyone outside their little sphere could overhear anything as well.

 

Walking into the coffee shop, he eyed his mom sitting at a back corner. He went to the front counter, ordered his Chocolate Brownie Frappuccino and went to sit with his mom. He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek and placed his hot drink on a napkin.

 

"Sweetheart, how are you?" She drank a sip of her coffee and looked at Justin, admiring his obvious new clothing. "When did you get that shirt? It looks good on you."

 

"Brian bought it for me when we were in New York." Justin blew on his coffee, trying to cool down the hot drink.

 

"He's always had good taste in clothes. Good for him in getting you to wear something besides paint encrusted cargoes and old shirts."

 

"Mom.... We were in New York yesterday. Carol called and said she got some of my paintings in a show at Bretano's." Justin smiled as he shared the good news.

 

Jennifer reached over and hugged Justin and her eyes popped as she smiled largely. 

 

"Oh my goodness, honey. I'm so proud of you. That is wonderful news. When is the show?"

 

"The show is in December, but I'll be going there a few times a month till then to get things ready."

 

"What do you mean you'll be going there?" Jennifer looked at Justin with a quizzical note. She didn't want to ask too many questions but her mind filled with many unanswered ones.

 

"I've decided to move back to Pittsburgh and paint here. I miss Brian too much and New York wasn't working out the way I wanted it to. And yes, I know it seems weird to be moving back just when I finally accomplished my goal of getting a show, but that is exactly the perfect time. I moved to New York so I could break into the art world. Now that I have, I can return home to be with Brian. I no longer need to spend all my time making a name for myself. I've got a show so now it's not as important." Justin was pleased with his quick and easy explanation. Of all the people in his life, his mom was the least likely to rock the boat. He knew she wanted him to be happy; that was her criterion for everything. If he told her that he wanted to move home, she wasn't going to argue. Besides she would be able to check on him more frequently and he knew she would like that. They would be able to have impromptu meetings like the one this morning and she would be less likely to worry about him. 

 

"Oh. So when are you moving back?" She took a drink from her cup, digesting all the information Justin had shared. She was surprised at the news of his move, but in light of the recent events, she was thrilled to have him close by.

 

"Brian and I packed up the apartment yesterday. We found an apartment to buy and wrote a contract too. Jake's going to rent my place so I don't have to buy out my lease."

 

Jennifer watched her son as he told her this new development. He appeared excited about the show and the upcoming move, but there was something he wasn't saying. She wasn't going to push. It would come out when he was ready. She knew her son well enough to know when he was holding something back and she knew he would share eventually. She was just thrilled he was moving back, and would be with Brian. She always believed in his art.

 

"Wow. Why did you buy an apartment in New York if you're moving back here?"

 

"We need a place to stay when we go up there. I'll need to go a few times a month and hopefully my career will take off so I will need to continue to visit Carol. Owning a place is so much easier than staying in a hotel every time. Brian says he's getting more business in New York so he can use the place too."

 

"Brian was always fast when it came to something he wanted. I wish you all the luck, sweetheart, but unfortunately I have to go. Maybe you and Brian can come by this week for dinner. Molly feels like you've forgotten her." She thought his explanation appeared too practiced, almost remote, like he had memorized it.

 

"Sorry mom. Things have been really weird since the accident and now I've got a show, but I will try to stop by and see the Mollusk. I'll talk to Brian about dinner, but it might be next week. We've got a lot do to set up my studio at Britin and get me settled." Justin leaned over and kissed her again. 

 

She smiled at him, grabbed her purse and walked toward the door. She grabbed her keys and unlocked the car, getting in and putting her purse on the seat. "Justin Taylor, what are you hiding now?" she said out loud. She liked the idea of him moving back, but she thought this was really sudden and couldn't help wondering what he was hiding.

 

Justin finished his drink and thought about the rest of his day. Brian and he had talked yesterday as they were packing and Justin had urged him to return to work. Justin knew he'd missed a lot of work helping him with his memory problems and then going to New York. If Brian didn't go back to work, all of Justin's dreams of painting were going to be for naught if Brian couldn't support him.

 

Justin was at a loss of sorts. For the first time in his life, he didn't have immediate plans. When he first met Brian he was in school and he had to go to class, even though he would have rather spent his nights in Brian's bed which would have meant sleeping the majority of the day away. After the bashing, he was in rehab and then he went to PIFA. Of course, then came RAGE and LA and then back to Pittsburgh and then the write up in Art Forum magazine. Off to New York to make his name in the art world where he struggled to find time to paint the great masterpieces and keep his relationship with Brian alive. Now all that had changed. He was moving back to Pittsburgh and he had pieces in a show. He didn't have to work- well not a regular job and he could be with Brian. His time was his own. 

 

He scrolled across his phone and saw he had a text from Daphne. "Want to meet me at 2:00. I'll feed you pizza."

 

Justin laughed and smiled. He was relieved. He now had plans for his afternoon. He texted her back- "Sure. Your office- pizza- with lots of meat."

 

Daphne texted him back. "ordered, now get you butt over here"

 

Justin arrived 45 minutes later, thinking that he needed to talk to Brian about a car. He needed to be able to come in to the city for supplies and see people and there was no transportation out to Britin. He went up to her office, looking around the new space.

 

"I like it. It's definitely you. So I've seen it now. Do I have to come to the open house?" He teased as he sat down in one of her office chairs.

 

"I'm coming to your show and you are coming to my open house." She play hit him on the arm. "Pizza should be here in about 10 minutes. Let's go in my office." She pointed through a wooden door and Justin followed her inside. "The guy will buzz me when it gets here."

 

"I take it he knows your place already. What ever happened to all the healthy eating you were trying to get me to do a while back?"

 

"I knew if I offered you pizza you would come. If I offered you a veggie burger, you would find something else to do." She smiled at her devious tactics but knew he was happy to spend time with her. They hadn't been together in several weeks, shortly after he returned from New York. That had been a very awkward visit, trying to balance her knowledge without giving away too much information. She was thrilled that he appeared to have regained his memory and didn't have any residual effects from the accident. 

 

"You know me so well." He grinned. Daphne knew him better than anyone, except perhaps Brian, probably better than Brian since she known him so much longer and they shared everything since kindergarten. It was nice but scary to know that someone knew you that well, but he was happy that she was still in his life even after he moved to New York.

 

"I do and that is why I know you are keeping something from me about New York. So dish. What the hell is going on?" She recognized his evasive tactics and wasn't going to take the chance that they would wile away the day without talking about the pink elephant that Justin had dropped in their conversation.

 

"Sometimes having a friend who knows you so well can be a pain in the ass, especially if that friend is a therapist." Justin sat down on her leather couch. He bounced up and down in his seat a few times, testing its cushions. "Nice couch. Am I your patient now?" He said, slightly mocking her.

 

Daphne rolled her eyes and flexed her hand so that the palm was up in the air and waved it at Justin to continue. She watched Justin to see if he would voluntarily start talking and wasn't too surprised at his silence.

 

"Justin," she said with an inquisitiveness in her voice he would recognize as a question and an invitation to talk.

 

"There's another reason I wanted to come back to Pittsburgh."

 

"Another reason," she said out loud, not adding, the ‘I knew it' to her statement. Sometimes her gut feelings were the only way to go. It helped a lot in her chosen line of work. You could teach a person counseling skills, but reading people and getting a quick feel for them was something that could not be taught.

 

"I missed Brian and really do feel that I'm inspired more when I'm with him. That isn't a lie."

 

"You didn't lie when you said you could paint better when he was near," she reflected back his words.

 

"Yeah. Things were weird in New York."

 

"Weird. Explain weird." Justin didn't use weird very often. She felt a cold chill go through her body and her heart started racing. She willed herself to take a few deep breaths and listen without judging.

 

"At first the dancing for the company was great. Easy money and it gave me more time to paint."

 

"Then something changed?"

 

"Yeah. There was this guy. "

 

"A guy. Tell me about him." Daphne felt her heart racing. She knew Justin loved Brian and would never do anything to jeopardize their relationship, but wondered if something had happened. She would have to be careful not to put her feelings about Brian or Justin into the situation. She was Justin's best friend, aside from Brian, as it should be, but she needed to listen with an open mind and hear what Justin was saying.

 

"It started about 5 months ago. He was a guest at a gig I did. I often talked to the guests; it's a good way to share my business info and get future gigs. Sometimes it got me extra tips which were really nice."

 

"So you taIked to the guests at some of your gigs."

 

"Yes. Well, about five months ago, this guy was at one of the birthday parties. He comes up to me and talks to me for a while. He asked me for a card and I gave it to him. Well, he called Peter, my boss and told him I was really good and he wanted to go to my next gig so he could watch me again and see if he wanted to book me for an upcoming party."

 

"And Peter gave him the information for your next gig?"

 

"Yeah. That wasn't unusual. It happens a lot. Someone is looking for a certain type of guy for their gig and wants to see them perform before they book them. Well he shows up and starts asking me for a date and wants to go out. I told him no; I was in a relationship and I thought that would be the end of it." Justin started to fidget in his seat and look away from Daphne. It was obvious to Daphne that he had never put the situation into words and it made him uncomfortable.

 

"He asked you for a date and you turned him down."

 

"So a few weeks later he shows up at a different gig and approaches me again. He tells me he loves to watch me dance. Says he's with some company who might want to hire me. I tell him no again, but now he shows up every few weeks. I don't know how he finds out where I'm doing a gig. Peter doesn't answer all the calls and it's not unusual for someone to call up and ask about a certain employee. Since he doesn't do it all the time and shows up every few weeks, Peter thinks it's a new person and gives him the info."

 

Daphne listens to Justin's story and her heart goes out to her friend. She wants to go over and hug him and tell him she understands and everything will be fine, but she knows there is more to this than a simple hug will fix. She toys for a few minutes with going into friend mode or staying in therapist mode, but realizes the two are so intertwined that she can't really separate them.

 

"He showed up right before your accident, didn't he?"

 

"A week before. That's when I decided."

 

"Decided?"

 

"To come back to Pittsburgh. Having all the free time in the world wasn't worth the creepiness factor of this guy coming to see me every few weeks. Daph, I was really afraid he was psycho. Sometimes he'd bring me stuff, like poems or bus tokens."

 

"Why didn't you say anything?"

 

"I'm 24 years old. New York was my chance to be on my own, to make it by myself. I didn't want to come running to Brian or you or my mom with my little stalker problem. I needed to handle it. I missed Brian and I really do paint better when he's nearby. That part wasn't a lie. When I finally remembered why I'd been in New York and everything about my life, I remembered why I wanted to leave. I really was going to tell Brian I wanted to come home the night he showed up at the gig. It just took me a little longer because I didn't remember right away."

 

"Were you going to tell Brian about the stalker?"

 

"No. With me coming home and not working as a stripper, the guy can't find me anymore so it's not important."

 

"You weren't lying. You really had thought this out."

 

"I would never lie to Brian." He pauses at this comment, and without rehashing old memories that are better forgotten he rewords that. "Not anymore, not ever again. He's too smart and he would be furious. I'm definitely not lying when I said I missed him and I paint better here; it's just that there were other factors too."

 

"So you really do want to be here. It's not just the stalker and being away from him?"

 

"Yeah. Painting is important, but I realize that scrambling day to day to make ends meet just so I have a few hours here and there to paint is not the way I want to live. I want to make a life with Brian and I can paint on the side. My paintings are going to be shown in a small gallery and I'll go to New York for that, but most of my life will be led here with my family."

 

"I knew there was something you weren't telling me. You know better than to keep secrets from me. I still think you should tell Brian, but I will respect your decision. Promise me that you will tell him if the issue comes up."

 

"I will, but I can't imagine it being an issue. The guy lives in New York and I'm here. I don't work as a stripper anymore so he can't find me."

 

"I hope you're right." Daphne said as she fervently hoped this latest development wouldn't come back to haunt them.

 

 

TBC


	37. Family #2

Justin left Daphne’s office feeling a little lighter having shared his secret with Daphne. He couldn’t honestly say that the stalker was the main reason he left New York but he could say that missing Brian coupled with the stalker made the decision a lot easier. He didn’t think the stalker was a real threat, but rather a nuisance. When he told him he didn’t want to go out with him, the man had accepted his decline with ease and just smiled; however when he showed up the week before the accident and he had spied him in the audience, it made Justin uncomfortable. 

New York was a big place and while the agency gave the workers the option of turning down a job, they did try to book them in their neighborhood. This man had seen Justin at his gig at least 4 times in the month preceding his accident and he didn’t know how many times he’d seen him prior to that. 

Justin knew he was attractive; it was evident any time he went to the clubs or to any place actually. He was hit on by men and women, not to the extent that Brian was hit on but definitely his good looks got him second glances. Brian’s charm and charisma helped him seal many a deal in his agency but Justin’s talent was a key piece to his success. Well almost success. It had taken two years to finally get some of his pieces shown. Yes, Brian had talent or he would not have been a star in his own right either. They did make a stunning couple and he was happy that they were still together after 7 years. Two, talented, attractive gay men who were committed to each other made Justin’s heart sing.

He didn’t want to tell Brian about the stalker, feeling that his move to Pittsburgh would take care of the issue. He was no longer working with the agency so the odds of him seeing the man again were slim. At least he could share the information with his best friend, Daphne, and he addressed his anxiety with her. While Justin felt secure in his knowledge that he and Brian were partners; there were some things he felt he didn’t want to share with him. Everyone needed to have some secrets.

He knew that if Brian found out about the stalker he would probably be pissed at Justin for not telling him and Brian would become overprotective and domineering. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but Justin didn’t need to be protected; he could take care of himself. He definitely didn’t want Brian to get the wrong idea that Justin was moving back because he was scared. He was an adult and could take care of himself, not a vulnerable teenager. He was in the Pitts, the creep was in New York, and that was where the story ended. Besides, it’s not as if Brian probably hadn’t had that happen before. He happened to have first hand knowledge that sometimes stalking did end positively. Justin smiled as the thought, knowing he was the one and only man that held Brian Kinney’s heart… and vice versa, of course.

Daphne’s office was in town and since he didn’t have a car, he took the bus to Kinnetik, hoping that Brian was finished for the day. He doubted that would be the case, but if not he hoped Brian would give him the keys to the car so he could go home and then Brian could take the car service. Walking into the office he saw Cynthia sitting at her desk and he stopped to talk.

“Justin. Good to see you. How are you?” she asked as she visually gave him a quick glance, looking into his eyes to see any signs of fatigue or worry. While Justin was not her boss, she had come to know him very well and thought of him as more than her boss’ partner. He wouldn’t exactly be called a friend, not having any social connections, but she considered him important, if nothing else as her boss’ partner. She’d known Brian long enough to know that if Brian wasn’t happy, the workers at Kinnetik weren’t happy and she was in for a miserable day. 

Justin smiled a warm hello. He didn’t give her a “Sunshine smile”, those were reserved for Brian, but he did give her a happy one. He glanced toward Brian’s door and saw it was closed and frowned a little. 

“He available?” Justin asked, hoping but knowing that Brian had not been at work for most of the last few weeks and probably had a lot to do.

“Yes.” She looked at her phone and saw he was not on any of the lines. “It’s been a busy day, but he’s free right now. Maybe you can get him to go home at a decent hour.”

“Thanks.”

Walking to the door, he knocked and then entered, not really waiting for a “come in” from Brian. As long as there were no clients in his office and he wasn’t on the phone, Justin had learned he was always welcome in Brian’s office. However, he did have a fleeting thought that the same courtesy was not provided to Brian in regards to his studio. Justin hated being disturbed when he was painting and it was an unspoken rule that Brian only came in there if Justin had been in there for more than 10 hours or it was after 3:00 am. Brian was welcome to come to the door of the studio and knock, but if Justin didn’t respond, Brian had learned that Justin was in the moment and didn’t want to be disturbed. Justin was happy this arrangement worked for them.

Brian looked up from his computer and smiled when he saw Justin. He clicked save on the document he was working with and leaned back in his chair.

“What brings you here? I thought you were going to meet Mother Taylor.”

“I had coffee with my mom and then Daphne texted me so we had pizza later. I met my mom this morning, it’s already 5:00. I don’t have a car and had to take the bus so was hoping I could convince you to give me a ride back. I’d like to take a new look at Britin’s studio so I can start painting soon.” 

“And if I give you a ride to Britin, how are you going to pay me?”

“With a blow job.” Justin walked toward Brian and swiveled his chair around to face the room. He went to unbuckle his pants and then noticed the door was still open. 

Walking toward the door to close it, he heard Brian say, “Wait.”

“I’ll take you up on your offer, but we need to take a rain check. Debbie called and wants us to have dinner at her place. It’s been weeks since we saw her and she heard that we were back in town, guess your mom told her. Anyway, I know it’s our first night back, but I said yes. This way, we can tell the family about your plans and get it done all at once.”

“Sometimes I regret the day my mom and Debbie met. In some ways it’s great to have a second mom but in other ways, it would be so much easier to have to deal with only one family.”

“You said that you weren’t looking forward to talking to Michael and Lindsay, well now you can get it done in one night. Look at it this way, you’ll have me there to back you up.”

“Can’t we just not tell them and let them figure it out?”

“We could, but this saves both of us time in the future. I can see it now, every time someone in the family would hear the news, I would get a call asking if I knew and trying to fish out my opinion. If my opinion didn’t match theirs, which of course, it probably wouldn’t, I would have to spend time explaining that you are your own man and can make your own decisions. Of course, they would insist on calling you personally to ensure that they had heard correctly and to make sure it was the truth. By telling everyone at once, we can head off the mass phone calls and interruptions to both of our lives. After all, I do have to protect my investment and that means you have to have time to paint. You don’t need to be dealing with Lindsey’s whining how you are wasting your talent here or Michael’s comments about you being a kept man.”

“If you really think that one family dinner will solve all those issues, you must think I have super powers like Rage.” Justin said as he smirked at Brian, Rage’s model in real life.

“Not really, but hopefully telling them in my presence will show my support.”

“You have this all thought out.”

“Yes. I’m the master planner.”

“What time is this family dinner?”

“6:30. Time for the munchers to pick up Gus from daycare.”

“Well…. It’s only 5:30 so I think I still have time for a pre-dinner snack.” Justin walked to the door, closed and locked it and licked his lips as he returned to Brian.

Justin unbuckled Brian’s pants and quickly released his cock from its underwear prison. Brian loved a playful Justin and was already hard before Justin walked toward him. He leaned back in his chair, placing his arms on the armrests and watched as Justin bent down on his knees and opened his mouth to go down on him. 

He licked the spongy red head, poking his tongue in the pee slit and then swirling it around the head. A little precum had leaked out of Brian and Justin made an appreciative sound as he licked the tasty fluid. He stroked Brian’s shaft with one hand and played with his balls with the other. Meanwhile his mouth continued alternating swirling, sucking and licking the head of his cock. Brian closed his eyes as he enjoyed Justin’s ministrations. Unconsciously he placed his hands on either side of Justin’s head as he encouraged Justin, letting him know that he enjoyed what he was doing. 

Justin alternated between fast and slow movements, keeping Brian guessing his next move. Justin heard Brian’s shallow breaths and felt his hands tighten on his head as they pushed him to deep throat his cock. Justin sped up his movements and pushed one finger on the outside of Brian’s hole. He didn’t want to push inside and hurt him, as he didn’t have any lube, but the pressure added to the sensitive area was sufficient to push Brian over the edge. He shot into Justin’s mouth and Justin eagerly swallowed all that Brian gave him. When he was certain Brian was finished, Justin placed his cock back in his underwear and stood up to kiss Brian sharing his essence with his partner. 

After a long and enjoyable kiss that shared more feelings and emotions then any number of words could convey, Justin stood up and unbuckled his pants, letting them drop to the floor. With Brian still sitting in his chair, Justin’s erection hit Brian about mid chest.

“I guess you liked me to return the favor. I think we have enough time for that.”

Brian proceeded to give Justin a quick blow job as well. 

“I guess that’s appreciation for the ride home. We’ll see if you need to pay me for anything else after dinner.” He said tongue in cheek. 

“I see how it is. You’re gonna take out my living expenses in trade. My cock for food,” he said the teasing evident in his voice.

“If the condom fits,” Brian smiled at their playful banter. “We need to leave if we’re to arrive anywhere near dinner time and if I’m not mistaken I distinctly heard the famous Taylor stomach grumble. I think the beast needs to be fed.”

Justin and Brian double-checked themselves in the washroom before opening the door and then making their way to Debbie’s.

They arrived after Ted and Emmett. Hugs were given by Justin and scowls by Brian and no one thought anything out of place. Once everyone had arrived, they quickly made it to the dinner table where Debbie had laid out the food.

Dinner was the usual banter of who did who at Babylon last night, the latest gossip and tonight’s contest at Babylon. Sometimes Brian really wondered if the boyz were stuck in some weird time loop that just repeated itself over and over again, but then he remembered that when topics other than those were discussed often shouting matches occurred. 

“Justin. How are you, Sunshine?” Debbie asked, watching him as he filled his plate for a third time. “Your appetite has definitely returned.” She passed him the plate of garlic bread, encouraging him to fill up on that as well.

“I’m good Deb.” He ate some garlic bread and took a drink of his beer. 

“I don’t think his appetite ever went away. I’ve watched him eat for seven years and I think his bubble butt is actually hollow. Where else would he put all that food he consumes,” Brian said as he smiled at Justin.

“I’ll have you know I haven’t gained any weight since I graduated high school and the experts say that not gaining weight is a good way to stay healthy,” Justin said after he swallowed his spaghetti.

“Still our own little Public Service announcer,” Brian said tongue in cheek.

“Leave him alone, Brian. You’ll miss his announcements when he goes back to New York,” Lindsay said. She had observed Justin all night and she felt that he appeared sufficiently recovered and would soon be returning to New York, their family would be normal again.

“I’m not going back,” Justin said, deciding that this was the perfect opening.

“What?” Lindsay said.

“Oh Sunshine, that’s wonderful,” Debbie said.

“Oh baby. It will be so nice to have you here again. We can go shopping,” Emmett said.

Ted just looked between Brian and Justin, attempting to read his boss’ emotions, a feat he’d gotten pretty good at through the years.

“I knew it. Justin’s got you twisted around his little finger and convinced you to support him,” Michael said.

“Michael Charles Novotny!!!! It is none of your business how Brian and Sunshine handle their money. You should be happy that Sunshine is moving back. I’m sure that Brian is thrilled.”

“What have you been up to this last week or so? I haven’t seen you at the diner in a few days, not even for a lemon bar.”

“We’ve been in New York, talking to Carol. She’s got a few of my paintings in a small show.”

“Oh, that is wonderful,” Lindsay said. She started to ask more about the show but that is when Justin’s announcement regarding moving back repeated in her head. “Wait. You just got your first show. There’s going to be so much to do, people to meet. You can’t possibly be serious about moving. Tell me you were joking about moving back.”

“Nope. I’m moving back and only going to New York a few times a month if necessary.” Justin looked at Brian, hoping for the verbal support he promised him.

“But, Justin…. You really should be in New York,” Lindsay said, the insistence in her voice almost pleading. “You’ll be so busy preparing for your show and then you’ll need to paint new pieces for the next show. How can you possibly think of moving back here? I just can’t imagine what you are thinking.”

“Now, you’ve finally gotten what you always wanted, Justin. I guess Brian will be paying your bills while you play artist.” Michael said the disdain obvious in his words.

“Enough!” Brian shouted. “Justin said he is moving back. End of discussion. It is his decision to make, not yours and if you have different thoughts, then keep them to yourselves.” Brian gave Justin a big smile and titled his head toward the door. “Justin. I think you said you needed a ride home. I’m leaving. You coming?”

“Yeah.” Justin got up and kissed Debbie. “Thanks for dinner. It was great.”

“ Take care of yourselves. I’m proud of you Justin.” Debbie said as she glared at “her family” gathered round the table. Well, not Emmett, who could be heard shouting “You go baby!” over everyone’s banter.

Once they were gone, she looked at the people assembled around the table and said, “You should be happy for them. They don’t tell you how to live your life and you shouldn’t tell them how to live theirs. Now who’s up for dessert?”

A chorus of me’s came from the group assembled and no one dared say another word about the men who left.


	38. The Truth Hurts

Justin got into Brian's car and waited while Brian put on his seatbelt and pulled the car into the street.

"You know this isn't over. Just because you told them I was a grown man who could make up his mind, doesn't mean they will listen." Justin looked out the window and watched the cars zoom by. 

"I know, but I told you I would let them know I supported your decision. The important thing is now they know and they won't all be calling me to "share" their news." Brian glanced at Justin sitting in the passenger seat and saw the slight frown on his face.

"I can't believe Lindsay. It's almost like she wants to keep me in New York. Sort of like she's living vicariously. And Michael. How did you know he would react that way?" Justin's anger and disappointment at Brian's two friends was evident in his tone. He could feel the tension in his body increase as the anger grew inside him and his fists tightened in response. He willed himself to relax; he had enough difficulty with his hand without voluntarily adding to its stress.

He'd been fighting Lindsay and Michael for years and he was tired of the fight, very tired. He wondered if he should continue to salvage Brian's relationship with them as it appeared they were so intent on sabotaging his relationship with Brian. He decided it wasn't up to him to make that decision and he would have to leave it up to Brian. He remembered his mother telling him that when you married you just didn't marry your partner but his whole family as well. While they weren't married, they were in a committed relationship and Lindsay and Michael were his family. He would have to accept Brian's decision in their interactions. 

Brian turned the car onto the highway and watched the oncoming traffic as he merged into the middle lane. Looking at his partner in the seat next to him, he felt a mixture of pride, happiness and fear. He was so proud of Justin, getting his first show after only being in New York for two years. So many artists never achieved a show and here was Justin, barely 25 and already getting his work displayed. He made a mental note to have a private celebration for this momentous occasion. 

He was happy too. Justin and he were finally going to move in together, and not due to circumstance but because they wanted to. The doors were always going to be open in their lives, no locks for them, but they had both reached a time in their lives that the words as well as the symbolism need not be said. They were together because they wanted to be. Brian hadn't believed this day would ever happen, not that he felt Justin would be living in New York indefinitely, but rather he just did not allow himself to picture this event.

Fear was always in the back of his mind. He'd learned from an early age not to trust happiness. After many failed birthdays and Christmases where he looked forward to joyous celebrations and instead received beatings and beratings from his parents, he'd learned to always fear happiness. He tried to push the fear to the back of his mind, far away from the conscious events that were unfolding in his life. 

He was sad that the two people he considered close friends were so adamant in their dismissal of Justin's return to the area. He'd voiced some of the same concerns that Lindsay had said tonight, but it appeared that her only concern was Justin's career. Justin had made it very clear to him that he was more important than any career move he could make in New York. He resented Lindsay's comments that Justin's only important thing in life was his art. She had encouraged Justin's move to New York two years ago and now he was beginning to wonder if the encouragement was due more to breaking up their relationship than encouraging his career. He was sure that he would be hearing from her in the next few days. 

Unfortunately Michael's reaction to Justin's announcement was not unexpected, and Justin might sound surprised at Michael's reaction, but he had a feeling Justin expected it. Michael had always harbored the feeling that Justin really only wanted Brian for his money. He couldn't seem to accept Brian's feelings for Justin. He'd said as much to Brian on several occasions and told him that Justin really was with Brian because he could pay for him to fly back and forth to Pittsburgh on his dime. Tonight's reaction just solidified Michael's feelings that Justin and Brian were not important, but rather a convenience. He thought back to their meeting a few weeks ago at Michael's store when Justin was newly injured. He was more interested in Rage then in Justin's recovery. He really did wonder if Lindsay and Michael wanted him to have what they had; a partner or to keep him as Stud of Liberty avenue forever.

Justin looked at Brian and could see he was thinking. They'd talked when they were at Kinnetik and Brian had done just what he said he would do- tell everyone he was a grown man and to leave him alone. He hated that Brian's predictions were so on target. He decided that his little memory lapse may have left some of his intimate knowledge of the "gang" damaged, but then a part of him didn't really believe that illusion. 

"We're almost home. I think you said something earlier about giving me a blow job for taking you home."

"I gave you a blow job when you were at Kinnetik. I think you should fuck me now."

"You do? And why do you think I should do this?" Brian grinned at Justin's sudden playfulness and he was pleased that Justin was not continuing their conversation; one he knew would never have a positive outcome.

"Because it's Wednesday," Justin said as if this were the most logical answer in the world.

"So every Wednesday I should fuck you?" Brian continued the playful conversation.

"Of course. But you should fuck me on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday , Saturday and Sunday too."

"I see. That sounds like a lot of fucking."

"I think that was the agreement."

"I'm liking this agreement," Brian said the mischief evident in his voice.

"Of course you do. You get to have me at your beck and call," Justin teased.

"Well I do recall a certain conversation where you said you would serve under me, working long hard hours."

Justin smiled as he remembered that night so long ago. "You remember?"

"Of course, I do." Brian looked at Justin, giving him a huge smile too. "And more importantly, you do as well."

"Thank you," Justin said as he read the signs on the highway, mentally ticking off the signs in his head that they would pass on the way home.

"Why are you thanking me? I did what I told you I would do and I don't break my promises."

"I'm not thanking you for tonight, but well that too. I'm thanking you for these last few weeks, sticking around when I didn't know who I was and didn't remember us." Justin reached out his hand for Brian's hand, pulling it toward him and giving the back of his hand a gentle kiss. "I know this whole thing hasn't been easy for you and I wanted to say thank you."

"No need to thank me but if you insist then I think there is that fuck you mentioned earlier. I think my dick is waiting for your tight hole."

"I think that can be arranged. We're almost home. First a blow job and then you can fuck me."

"Deal." Brian smiled as his pants got a little tighter at the mention of Justin's warm mouth wrapped around his cock.

They arrived at Britin a few minutes later. Brian parked the car in the garage and Justin walked toward the mud room. Turning on the lights he surveyed his new home, amazed for a brief moment that this was truly what he would get to come home to every night. He'd dreamt of this moment, well not this moment but the time when he would come home with Brian from their daily lives in the city. A time when it was just the two of them, no "gang" to interfere, just Brian and Justin living their life as they saw fit. 

He knew that his fantasies were just that, not real. No couple was an island and especially not him and Brian. He knew that tonight's revelations would not be the end of the discussion regarding his return to Pittsburgh. It seemed that when he was essentially kicked out of his home as a high school senior, he lost his family of four and gained a family of ten. Somehow leaving with Brian after his father told him he couldn't "practice his disgusting lifestyle" under his roof changed his life more than standing under the streetlamp that fateful night. He now had many people who thought they had a right to tell him how he should live his life, not just two parents. 

This house was his; Brian had given it to him. Brian was his; no ceremony had occurred nor would it ever, but in all the important ways, Brian was his. Brian showed him in a multitude of ways that he was his partner, the latest being his offer to support him for 6 months while he got ready for his show and worked on his art. That thought brought him back to the present and his offer to give Brian a blow job. While he knew that their little conversation in the car was mostly in jest, he also did want to thank Brian for his generosity today and in the last few weeks. Besides, it was a win win situation. He got to give Brian a blow job and then he got to be fucked by Brian. Everyone was happy.

He gave Brian a seductive smile and shook his butt in front of Brian. Brian smiled back and grabbed Justin by the neck pulling him close and kissing him passionately. Brian's hands lowered to the swell in Justin's back, palming his bubble butt and squeezing the sweet flesh. Justin moaned in appreciation.

Brian's tongue swirled in Justin's mouth, tasting the unique essence that was his partner, sinking into the oblivion that he always felt when he and Justin were joined. Justin returned the kiss, tasting cigarettes and a faint hint of garlic and cheese from Debbie's dinner earlier in the evening. His hands went to Brian's torso, hugging his chest close. 

Their bodies pressed close together, the electricity between them almost palpable. The kiss fueled their arousal, their burgeoning erections pressing against their pants. Their breath came in short huffs and their bodies heated up. Their hands roamed each other's bodies, igniting the flames even more as Brian lifted Justin's shirt, throwing it to the side of the table. Justin removed Brian's shirt pressing his chest to the smooth surface, inhaling the smell of sweat and pheromones, pushing his arousal up a notch.

Brian unbuckled Justin's belt and quickly yanked his pants down and wrapped his hand around his engorged cock, stroking it, enjoying the contrast of hard and smooth in his hand. Justin stepped out of his pants, kicking them aside and did the same for Brian, grabbing his long cock between his alabaster fingers, stroking it. 

Brian walked them toward the drawer where they kept the lube and condoms, grabbing the supplies. Fumbling for the flip top he heard the familiar click as the top was opened and then he squeezed some on his fingers. Finding Justin crack he slid his slippery fingers along Justin's perineum, pushing slightly into his hole, teasing him with the small digit. Justin's breaths were close now, as his heart raced toward the inevitable finish line that he was eager and not eager to reach. 

"Now!" Justin said as he demanded that Brian quit his teasing and fuck him.

Brian turned Justin around to face the island and Justin braced himself against the edge. He bent slightly, giving Brian easy access. Brian slid his cock along the sensitive area, pushing in slightly as his cock neared the pucker. After the fourth prick, Justin pushed back against Brian resulting in his cock pushing past the initial ring of resistant.

"Yes. Oh God," Justin sighed in almost relief from the building pressure. 

Brian took his hands and placed them on Justin's hips pulling his body back and forth as he pistoned in and out of the tight passage. Lost in the sensations, he was oblivious to anything occurring in the room except his body's pushing into his partner. The familiar tingling of his balls and racing heart beat signaled he was going to come and he increased his pumping, erupting in the condom as he reached his climax. He held Justin from behind, hands wrapped around his torso and his head resting on his shoulder as his heart returned to its normal beat and his breath slowed down as well.

As he felt his body returning to normal, he felt his cock softening and he grabbed the edges of the condom as he pulled out of Justin's body. Tying the condom in a knot, he threw it in the trash. Grabbing a kitchen towel, he wiped Justin and him off and threw the towel toward the laundry room as well.

"Oops,"Justin said.

Brian looked at him with a quizzical frown.

"You didn't get your blow job," he said.

"Oh. Well I'll let you blow me later when we take a shower. Right now, I think you said something about looking at your studio so you could paint. If you need supplies, you need to let me know so we can order them in the morning."

"I'd rather pick them out. Can't I just go into the city with you tomorrow and then drive the car home. I promise to pick you up in the afternoon or you can take the service," Justin said, the pleading eyes bore into Brian.

"We'll discuss it in the morning. I've got an early morning conference call and that would mean you would have to get out of bed."

"I can do that. But of course, you know how we could solve that problem. You could buy me a car." Justin suggested half in jest.

"I see you are taking this whole support thing in earnest. We'll talk about a car later. I'm sure you would want some SUV monster and I just don't want that in my garage."

"Brian...." Justin started to counter his comment, but then decided that he would tackle that issue later. He yawned. "I'm beat. Let's go to bed."

"A man after my own heart."

They went upstairs to the master bedroom and again Justin was struck by the sophisticated decorating that Brian had done in the home that was able to reflect his minimalist style with pieces that were also inviting. This was his home and he was thrilled.

As they lay in bed, Brian's arm wrapped around Justin's middle, Brian inhaled the now familiar scent, a little lemon from his shampoo, a little garlic from Deb's cooking and the unnamed scent that was uniquely Justin. The last week had been a whirlwind of activity and revelations and now it was time to settle in. His mind started making a to-do list, but his fatigue quickly interfered and he drifted to sleep.

Justin lay in Brian's embrace, feeling secure and loved. He knew he made the right decision in returning to Pittsburgh and his partner. This felt right and he felt invincible; Brian would always protect him. He'd forgotten the last time he had those thoughts, in Deb's backyard after a family dinner, a few weeks before the prom. He thought Brian's love made him invincible. He was wrong then and unfortunately he would soon discover that love still doesn't make him invincible.

 

TBC


	39. Who Needs Enemies With Friends Like These

Unfortunately Justin and Brian had been correct regarding Justin's announcement about his return to Pittsburgh. Both he and Justin were bombarded with calls starting the next morning.

"Brian, it's Linds," she called as he put his briefcase on his desk.

"I know who it is. I have caller ID."

"About last night. You really need to talk to Justin. He's making a huge mistake. New York is a chance of a lifetime. I would have given anything to have his opportunities. And you just can't let him throw it all away," She said earnestly into the phone as she played with a lock of her blonde hair, putting it behind her ear.

"Linds. I'm saying this once and only once. Justin is not your concern. I don't tell Melanie how you should run your life and you don't get to tell me how Justin should run his." Brian pushed the button on his computer to boot it up.

"But Brian..."

"Linds, there is no discussion. How's Gus?" Brian sat down and typed in his password and clicked on the icon to read his email.

Lindsay sighed as she looked at the phone and shook her head. She knew she would have to try again in a few days. 

"He's fine. Now that Justin is here all the time, I'm sure he would love to come over and spend some time with him, maybe make a standing visit. Say every Tuesday. Justin could pick him up after school and they could spend the day together." Lindsay thought this solution would be ideal. She knew how much Justin loved Gus and he would never turn an opportunity down to be with him. If she managed to use Gus to keep Justin occupied then maybe he would realize he couldn't paint and be in Pittsburgh as he had too many family obligations. 

"And then of course, the family dinners on Sunday. I'm sure that he would love to spend the weekends with you guys. He just loves to spend time with you and now that Justin is back...."Her voice became animated at the cleverness of her words.

"Stop. Lindsay, it's not going to work," Brian said the irritation in his voice evident.

"What are you talking about?" She tried to play innocent, but feared she'd been caught.

"We are not the Gus babysitting and entertainment society. We do love Gus, both of us, but I will not allow you to use our son to distract Justin. I'm sure we can work out a visiting schedule but Justin has a job, painting and creating pieces to show in the future. Justin is not going to be Gus' babysitter just because he is in the city." Brian started scanning his inbox, flagging important emails that he would need to read when he got off the phone.

"Brian," she said defeated, a little angry that Brian saw through her little plan. "I would never..."

"Don't go there, Lindsay. I have work to do. I'll talk to Justin about a schedule or something so we can see Gus. Good bye."

Brian ran his hands through his hair and sighed as he knew this would not be the last attempt from Lindsay, but he finally recognized it for what it was, an attempt to get Justin back to New York. Only this time, he was ready to commit to his partner and her attempts were fruitless.

Michael was not as clever as Linds, but he tried anyway. He too started calling the day after their dinner with Debbie, but waited until after lunchtime.

"Kinney," Brian said as he answered his phone.

"Brian. I've been trying to reach you all morning, but every time I call, Cynthia says you're busy. Thankfully she put me through since I told her it was an emergency."

"What's wrong?" Brian asked as small butterflies formed in his stomach.

"I can't believe you're okay with Justin moving back from New York. I warned you that he was only using you for your money. He's not even working. He just sees you as a sugar daddy,"

"As I said last night, it's none of your business. And if that's your definition of an emergency, I don't agree."

"This is an emergency or will be if you don't stop Justin now. But Brian... You have to protect yourself." 

"Mikey. I'm warning you. Justin is my partner and I'm going to support him."

"Briannnnn..."

"Good bye Mickey."

Michael hung up but tried again a few hours later.

"Brian. Trust me," Michael said as he spoke quickly into the phone.

"I'm warning you, Mikey. Leave it," Brian said sternly.

"He's got you..."

Brian hung up, not wanting to listen to his friend any more.

"Cynthia," he yelled as he pushed the intercom button. "You are not to put any calls through except business and Justin."

"Sure, boss." She frowned as she released her intercom button. She hated the incessant phone calls from Michael and Lindsay, she didn't want to put the calls through, but you never knew with those two. Not only did they disturb her boss, but when Brian was disturbed it made for an unpleasant work place which often resulted in Brian lashing out as his staff. Now that she had the official word from Brian, she'd be more than happy to not put their calls through. And while she was at it she put in a word with security out front to not allow Lindsay or Michael to come back, should they show up, without her say so.

While Brian had Lindsay and Michael trying to get him to change Justin's mind, Justin's mother called at least every other day wanting to go to lunch or invite them to dinner under the guise of ensuring that Justin was doing okay. He'd made a special ring tone for her on his phone and chose to ignore her during the day so he could make some headway in his work. It appeared that his strategy was working as her calls had diminished to 1 a week and she started calling in the early evening. 

Justin had most of the supplies that he needed to paint and create new pieces for his commitment to Carol and any future shows. He would occasionally go into town to buy an odd tube of paint or some canvas, but Brian had outfitted his studio with everything he needed. Brian had obviously been paying attention to Justin and his needs as an artist. He wasn't surprised by this since it was Brian's business to pay attention to people. It didn't stop him from being impressed and a little emotional when he first discovered just how thorough Brian was; he really did believe in Justin's work.

Three weeks had passed since that night at Deb's and the calls had finally stopped. Justin had been busy during the first week setting up residence at Britin. He didn't have much to unpack from New York and Brian had insisted he buy some new clothing to better represent his status as a recognized artist. Brian gently explained he had time to shop with Justin now but in a few weeks the spring ad season would start and he would be extremely busy. Of course, the marathon fuck session that he and Justin enjoyed as part of the convincing argument didn't have any impact on the shopping; he just used it as an excuse to get Justin away from the studio for a day. Brian had insisted that buying Justin new clothing was part of supporting him and Justin decided that arguing with Brian was a moot point; besides Brian loved shopping and he was definitely in his element. 

Life was good. Brian and Justin spent their days working and their nights together. They filled their free time with family, Woody's and each other. They were happy.

"What time is your flight tomorrow?" Brian asked as they sat down to eat dinner.

"It's at 10:00. I have to leave here at 7:15 to get to the airport by 8:00. There are some real disadvantages to living in West Virginia," Justin said with a grumble.

"We could have stayed at the loft. That is why we kept it."

"No. I wanted to be here. This is our home and the loft is the Loft. I wanted to be at home," Justin said wistfully.

"You're a sentimental twat."

"I know. It's just... Well... This is just so new... I mean we're not new, we've known each other for 7 years... It's just... we're permanent... not living together, but...."

"I get it. I feel the same way."

"Really?" Justin asked as he gave Brian a huge Sunshine smile.

"Yeah. It's different this time. You're taking a business trip but you'll be back in five days. I know I've done that a thousand times, but this time it is a normal part of our lives."

"Thanks."

Brian frowned.

"I didn't do anything."

"For letting me come home. For supporting me. For giving us a chance. For believing in me. For loving me."

"You can stop there. We are not lesbians and even though I'm supporting you and lord knows it's costing me a fortune at the grocery store not to mention the video store, you do not have to shower me with words of thanks."

Justin smiled a knowing smile at Brian, reading the words hidden underneath the words spoken. Brian understood what Justin was feeling and he felt the same way. They were a couple and this time when he left, it was expected and understood that he would be returning shortly. It was not a quick trip to connect like they were long distance lovers nor was it a holiday or other special occasion when he would come in for a whirlwind weekend or extended vacation. This was a heartfelt goodbye. He would miss his partner but both of them understood that his work had to come first sometimes and neither was upset that he was leaving.

Justin picked up his fork and ate some spaghetti. He knew the goodbye part of the conversation was over. Brian could only take so much touchy feely interaction. After all, he was still Brian Fucking Kinney and Justin understood Brian's limitations.

"So what are you going to do while I'm gone? Going to hit the baths, check out the new guys at Babylon?" Justin jokingly said as he knew that Brian rarely went to those haunts since he'd returned. They hadn't discussed much about their times apart, and Justin didn't want to give Brian a hard time about doing anything. It was part of what made Brian, well, Brian. He also knew Brian would take it as it was meant.

"I've got a client dinner tomorrow night and Gus has a short school break so I told Linds I would take him for the day. I think we're going to go furniture shopping. I want to finish his bedroom."

"I wish I wasn't going to New York. I would love to be with you and Gus," Justin said, the sadness evident in his voice. "Besides who is going to keep you in check when it comes to decorating Gus' room. He's 7. He doesn't need John-Richard furniture."

Brian smiled at Justin. He had been thinking of taking Gus to Perlora, but he decided Justin may be right. Gus was only 7 and he should just take him to La-Z Boy or something similar. The thought of stepping into a La-Z Boy store made him shudder. Justin really did know him. He wondered when that happened, when he let him in, know him so well. But then he decided it didn't matter. He was his partner and partners knew each other.

"What are your plans for the next three days?" Brian moved the pasta around his plate. He'd gotten a little more lax in his no carbs after 7:00 rule, but he still didn't eat many of them after his self-imposed deadline.

"I get in to New York about 9:30 and then go directly to Carol's. She's going to review my new pieces. She is very anxious to see what I've been doing here. I don't think she entirely believes me about you being my inspiration, but you've seen the pieces I've done since returning. They're great."

"They are, but I'm biased. Carol's visit will take the rest of the morning, but what else are you doing?" Brian took a drink of his beer.

"After I see Carol, I'm going to hook up with Jake. He and I are going to hang through the afternoon and then he's got a gig that night so I'm going to go with him."

"With him?" Brian's eyebrows rose a few inches and his voice sounded unsure.

"Brian. I used to go all the time to see Jake. After the gig, we would hang out and go to my apartment. Maybe grab a drink. So, it's just like old times. I love living here, but I miss him, he's a good friend and he doesn't care where I live or work."

"Ok." Brian still didn't trust Jake, but he couldn't argue with wanting to be around friends who didn't bug you constantly about where you work or live or your relationship, he still hated that word.

"The next day I'm supposed to go visit Bretano's, see the space and try to decide where my pieces are going to hang. Then at night there's supposed to be a show there and I'm to attend, you know get my face seen." Justin said, the excitement barely hidden in his voice.

"And the last day of my visit I'm supposed to be talking to some critics that Carol has lined up for me." Justin finished his pasta and pushed his plate away. "I'll be very busy, but it will go by fast. Will you miss me?"

"Twat. I'll miss your bubble butt to fuck at my leisure."

This was as close to Brian admitting he would be missed, but it still made Justin's heart sing. They were truly partners and he had every confidence that his decision would work out.

"Well, we should fuck now - you know store up a few for the road."

"A man after my own heart."

Justin went to the bedroom undressing as he walked to the bed. Justin placed the lube and the condoms under the pillow for easy access. He lay on his stomach with his legs spread as he waited for Brian. Brian walked into the room, eyeing Justin on the bed and he felt his erection point at Justin like the beacon from a lighthouse guiding him home. Justin was home, his home and he needed to bury himself inside his home. 

He got on the bed crawling up to Justin, draping himself on top of him as he inhaled the unique scent that was Justin. Nudging his neck he kissed and licked the sensitive area, being careful not to leave his mark, at least not tonight before Justin's trip. Justin sighed as he relaxed and enjoyed the sensation. Brian slid down Justin's body kissing and licking the spine until he came to the swell of his buttocks. 

He parted the alabaster globes and blew on the pink pucker. It winked at him in anticipation. He stuck his tongue out tasting him, immersing himself in Justin, to a place where they were the only ones in the world. Brian poked his tongue inside, savoring the taste.

Justin wanted Brian, needed him and grabbed for the lube and condoms, handing them back to Brian. Brian prepped him quickly, needing to be inside of Justin just as urgently. Pulling Justin up on all fours, he licked Justin from balls to pucker several times and then pushed in slowly savoring the tightness around his cock. He inched out and then pushed in again, this time with a little more thrust. Justin pushed back, signaling he was just as anxious for Brian as Brian was for him. Brian grabbed Justin's hips and slammed into him. He pulled almost all the way out and then slammed in a second and then a third time.

"Justinnnnnn," Brian cried out as shuddered into the condom.

"Ahhhhhh," Justin yelled as he felt himself coming as well. 

Brian grabbed the condom and pulled out of Justin, and then threw it away. He rolled over and lay on the bed and Justin lay on his stomach next to him. 

"Ready for round two?" Justin asked after a few minutes to allow his heart rate to return normal.

"Twat." Brian grabbed Justin and kissed him as he climbed on top of his partner, ready for a second round of love making. 

They made love three times before they lay exhausted on the bed.

"I better get some sleep. I've got a busy few days."

"Wouldn't want you to fall asleep in Carol's office."

"I'll call you when I land."

"Okay. What time's your flight come back?"

"About 4:00. Just have the service pick me up. Rush hour is such a hassle."

"We'll see." Brian said as he kissed Justin on the lips. He pushed Justin over to his side and wrapped his arm around him. Brian closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep. 

Justin closed his eyes and fell asleep, too. He dreamed of New York, saw his paintings hanging in Bretano's; the critics surrounding him, but then the picture of the stalker came in to focus and he shot up in bed. Luckily Brian did not wake up. He waited until his heart stopped racing and then closed his eyes hoping to get some sleep before his journey. He hoped his nightmare was not a premonition.


	40. Back to The Old Neighborhood

Justin walks off the airplane and enters JFK.  Stretching his legs, he was happy to be off the airplane.  While not as tall as Brian, he still finds airline seats confining.  The noise from the thousands of people at nearby gates is almost deafening.  More than 200 people on the plane, thousands of people in the airport and seemingly even more near the gate.  He doesn’t listen to the conversations going around him, but is still assaulted by the noise.

He glances at his fellow travelers and the sea of color that they swim in.  A young woman wearing a bright red clingy dress catches his eye as she teeters on her four inch spike heels.  Another young man holds a black leather jacket close to him as he walks quickly toward the baggage terminal.  He briefly wonders where they are going, but he is on a time deadline and moves toward the cab area.

As an artist he is naturally a people watcher and he is brought back to the game that he and Daphne used to play.  They would identify someone in a crowd, usually at the mall and make up a back story for them.  It was an interesting way to pass the time.  Sometimes they would surreptitiously follow the person in the crowd, noting where they went and what they bought or who they talked to.  They would laugh and giggle as they whiled away the day.  He fondly remembers those carefree days but smiles as he realizes that his life is pretty good these days and he is truly happy.

Grabbing a cab, he directs the driver to Carol’s office where he greets her secretary. He sits in the waiting area and admires the few pieces of art hanging on the walls.  He wonders if he will ever go into a business and see his art hanging.  He smiles to himself when he realizes that he can already do this when he walks into Kinnetik, but he doesn’t think that counts.

“Justin, why don’t you come in?”  Carol ushers him into her office.  She has a large white table to the side of her desk where she has his slides set out.  “I see you have been busy.”  She picks up the sheet showcasing some of his recent work.

“I told you that I could do it.  Do you feel better about my return to Pittsburgh?” He tapped the table with his finger as he anxiously waits for her response.

She studies the sheets for a few moments and nods her head.  “Your work is exquisite, some of your best work; its innovative and bright.  I can feel your excitement just looking at the pieces.”

“So you’re happy with the pieces.  How many pieces do I need to have on hand?”

“The more you have the better. I have a feeling that this show will just be a start and I will have galleries clamoring for your work.  I’ll expect you to keep your word and be available for shows and interviews. We have to get the world to know who Justin Taylor is.”  She smiled as she put her hand on Justin’s hand.

He smiles at her, safe in the knowledge that his decision was a good one.  He can't wait to tell Brian how happy Carol was with his work. 

“Bretano’s is expecting you tomorrow for a tour.  Start thinking how you might want to hang your work. I want you to look at the exhibit that is hanging now, it’s from a fairly new artist as well.   I have the interviews with several critics set up for you in the morning on Thursday.  They will be meeting with you at the museum at 9:00.  You should be done by 11:00.”  She continued to view the slides, making notes on her sheet regarding ones she wanted to showcase.

“Next month when you visit I’ll want you to attend an opening for one of my artists.  And I’ll want to see more of your work.”

“This is really exciting, Carol.  I still have to shake myself to be sure I’m not dreaming.”

“You are definitely not dreaming. This is real.  We’re done for now.  I’ll talk to you next week.”

Justin leaves Carol’s office, a smile on his face.  Looking at the clock in the lobby of the building, he sees that it is almost noon and he is supposed to meet Jake at 1:00 at his old apartment.  He grabs a bus and takes it to the stop in front of his old building.  He’d chosen the building for the close proximity to the bus line and is thankful as the wind is whipping up and he does not cherish having to be out in the elements for long.  Again, his mind goes back to Pittsburgh where he and Brian have a nice garage and he can drive right up to the home and not get assaulted by wind, rain or snow.  He also relishes the thought that when he finishes a canvas, he will not have to expose it to the elements as he transports it.   

The sights and sounds of the neighborhood surround him in a familiar envelope.  The smell of exhaust as well as the scent of corned beef from the deli around the corner hits his nostrils and his stomach growled in recognition of the delicious aroma.  Two children play with a ball in front of the apartment building and the ball rolls toward Justin when one misses the catch. Justin picks it up and throws it back to them.  They yell “thanks” back and continue their game. 

Justin walks up the steps to the building silently counting the eight steps without consciously realizing it.  Opening the door he walks to the old elevator and punches the number five and waits for the short ride to Jake’s floor.  A door slams in the background and he hears some yelling as well.  He recognizes the familiar voices as the Thompsons who always seem to be having some type of disagreement.  He’d been woken up several times by their noise and he was glad that he didn’t have to listen to their arguments any more. 

Knocking on Jake’s door, he barely had time to put his hand down when the door was opened and Jake engulfed him in a gigantic hug. 

“Hey man.  So glad you’re here.”

Justin’s stomach took that opportunity to rumble again and Jake gave him a knowing look.

“The Taylor beast is speaking.  Let’s go down to the deli and grab some sandwiches and you can tell me all about moving back to  big, bad, Pittsburgh.”

Justin laughs and steps back from the door so Jake could join him in the hall.  Jake locks the door and the two friends walk toward the elevator and then to the deli.  They order and then sit down at a small table for two while their sandwiches are being made.

“I was so happy when you called the other day.  We barely had time to talk when you were here a few weeks ago.  I still can’t believe I’m living in your old place and you’re in Pittsburgh.  I will say your apartment is a whole lot nicer than the dump I had.”  Jake played with the napkin box on the table and listened for their number to be called. 

“16,” the young man behind the deli counter yells out.

Justin looks at the receipt and says, “That’s us.”  He picks up their sandwiches.  Opening the wrapper he looks at the first one and gives it to Jake as it was a roast beef sandwich and then opens the wrapper of his own sandwich and takes a bite.  Bliss came over his face as he tastes the corned beef.  
“I do miss this.  I can’t find anywhere that makes a good corned beef sandwich like they do at Meyers.”  He takes several more bites before drinking some Coke and then lays his sandwich down to talk to his friend.

“So how are you?”

“It’s been good and bad since returning.  Brian’s two closest friends have been hounding him that I shouldn’t be there and I should return to New York.”

“Shit.  They’re his closest friends.  I’d hate to see his enemies.”

“Well.  There’s a lot of history there.  Linds, she’s the mother of his son, was the one who got me to come here in the first place with tales of fame and fortune.  I really think she has this fantasy about her and Brian and with me in the picture it spoils the vision.”  He took another bite of his sandwich as he gathered more of his thoughts. 

“But I thought the mother of his child was a lesbian?”  Jake asked, his confusion following the connection in the “family” obvious.

“She is, but I secretly think she still envisions this happy little family with a white picket fence and 2.4 children and Brian as the father.”

“I’ve never understood that 2.4 children thing.  Either they’re going to have some woman perpetually pregnant or they cut the kids in half.  Either way, it’s creepy.”  They both shared a laugh at that. Jake finished his Coke and decided he needed a refill since he still had half a sandwich left.  He walked to the soda fountain and refilled his glass and returned to the table.

“How’s your painting going?  Did moving back to Pittsburgh really get your juices flowing again?”

Justin laughs and nods at the double entendre, knowing his friend means every word of the innuendo. His mind quickly remembers last night after dinner and a quick flush stains his cheeks. 

Jake punches his arm as he watches his friend blush. “So I take it they flowed in the bedroom and the studio?”

“Carol was thrilled with the slides I brought in.  I’ve got to go to Bretano’s tomorrow and then the next day I have to do a meet and greet with some critics.  You know I really have a love/ hate feeling about critics.  They can make or break you but they can be so pretentious too.”  Justin got quiet and Jake could see the contemplation on his friend’s face. 

“Hey.  At least for the rest of the day, we’re here to hang, no critics, no “so called friends of Brian’s” just the two of us against the world.  Just like old times.  I’ve got the new Halo game.  Why don’t we go back to the apartment and play this afternoon and then you can go with me to my gig tonight.”

Justin finishes his sandwich and drinks the last of his Coke.  He pats his stomach in contentment and smiles at his friend.

“It’s a plan.  Let’s do it.  Gus loves his Xbox and I play with him sometimes.  He’s been after Linds to buy him Halo but she’s been reluctant- says it’s too violent.”  He picked up his trash as did Jake and they left the deli and walked back to the apartment.

They spend the afternoon in front of the Xbox, occasionally getting up to grab a beer or go to the bathroom, but enjoy the time together.   As daylight wanes in the apartment, Jake wistfully looks at his friend and their game.

“This will be it for us.  I’ve got to shower and get ready.  You need anything?”

“No.  Where’s the gig?  It feels weird to be here in the apartment watching you get ready, knowing I don’t have a gig too.  Remember how we used to meet up after our gigs sometimes, swap stories about the recipients?”

“Yeah.  I miss those days.  Sure you can’t convince Brian to move here so we can hang out more often?”  Jake asked, half teasing, half serious.

“Not a chance.  His business is there but more importantly, that is where Gus is.  He was so thrilled when Mel and Linds returned to Pittsburgh.  Gus is getting to the age where he needs a father and Brian really wants to be there for him.  But, you are welcome to come to Pittsburgh any time you want.  We have plenty of guest rooms.”

“I may just take you up on your offer, but right now, if I don’t get dressed I won’t get to work and without working I can’t afford to do anything.”

Justin pulls out his phone as he sits on the couch. “Hey,” Brian answered as he recognizes the number.

“Hey.  Did you have a good meeting?”

“Of course.  I didn’t expect your call till later. Everything okay?”  Brian asked, hating to acknowledge his unspoken fears.

“I’m good.  Jake is getting ready and I missed you.  I know, lesbian.  But I figured you would be done for the day and it’s too early for you to go out.  Thought I would try.”

“Twat.”  Brian didn’t add any other comment; he knew Justin could fill in the words.

“I’ll call tonight to say good night.”  Justin said the last words in a silky tone, alluding to the phone sex he was hoping to have when he returned from his night with Jake.

“I’ll be ready.  At least we are in the same time zone.”

“Later.”

“Later.”

“You ready?”  Jake came out of the bedroom, dressed in his white shirt and black pants and carried a bag with his costume.

“Where we headed?”

“Casa Bella in Little Italy.”

“Okay.  I think I could eat out every meal in New York for a year and still not go to every place.”

“See, another reason you should get Brian to move here.  Just think of all the great food you could eat.”

“He would bitch about all the places that had carbs and how he couldn’t find anywhere to eat. Then when he did eat, he would tell me he would have to spend more time on the treadmill to burn off those extra calories.”  Justin laughed at his explanation as he could hear Brian saying just those words.

“He must be some special guy if you put up with that nonsense,” Jake said with a smile, knowing how Justin felt about Brian.

They take the subway and walk the few blocks to the gig.  Justin finds a small table to the back of the room where the party and orders a beer.  He watches the guests as they laugh and joke with each other.  Around 9:00, a man wearing tight fitting black slacks and a red silk shirt stands up and the guests quiet down.

“Happy Birthday, Sam.  We’ve bought you a special present today.  Love you.” The man kissed another man who was sitting at the edge of a table and then he sat down next to him and gave him a big hug.  
The familiar music turns on and Justin watches as Jake dances his “birthday greeting”.  Justin looks at the patrons, soon becoming uncomfortable watching his friend do a strip tease.  He watches in fascination as many of the men unconsciously lick their lips and have their mouths open. Some rearrange their cocks, trying to make room in their pants as they grow hard.  Guys are really turned on.  Brian had been so adamant that he not dance anymore and he was still a little confused by his reaction.  If truth be told it really wasn’t any different than having guys watch them in the back room.  He guesses that Brian was being a little possessive and didn’t want other men touching him.  In the backroom it was just the two of them.  He smiles at Brian’s apparent jealous streak, but knows better to say anything about it.  
As he watches the men, he feels that he is being watched himself.  Looking around, he doesn't see any familiar faces, fearing that “his stalker” maybe found another target.  He is relieved that no one was familiar and he just put it down to familiar territory.  There were definite advantages of memory loss; he didn’t remember the stalker after his accident but now those memories had returned.  He was being paranoid.  This was Jake’s gig and there was no reason to think “the stalker” had found him and was watching him again.  He fidgets in his seat and plays with his beer bottle, darting his eyes around the room several times and was unaware of the passage of time.

Jake comes up to him, tapping him on the shoulder and he nearly knocking over his chair in fear. “Ready to leave?”  Jake looks at Justin and sees the deer in the headlights look in his eyes.  “Hey man.  You okay?  You look like you saw a ghost or something.  I didn’t think about it, but you’re not having a flash back or something, are you?  I’m sorry man.  I should never have brought you.  Probably brought back memories of your last gig.  I’m so stupid.”

Justin stands up and takes a deep breath.  He feels the perspiration pooling under his shirt and around his collar.  He damns his body and the adrenaline coursing through his veins. 

“No.  I’m fine.  It’s just hot in here with all these people,” Justin said quickly, hoping to bluff his way out of the situation.

“Ok.  Let’s head home.  I want to shower and then we can play some more Halo.”

“Sounds good to me.  I’ll shower too.”

They leave the restaurant and walk toward the subway.  Justin hears footsteps behind them and keeps turning his head to look at the sidewalk. After the third time, Jake places his hand on Justin’s arm and Justin startles.

“Okay.  Justin Taylor, there is something going on.  Why don’t you tell me the truth? 

Relieved to be able to talk, Justin nods and gives Jake a half smile.

“We’ll talk when we get back to the apartment.”

Jake shakes his head and touches Justin again on the arm, giving him a slight squeeze.

“Okay.  I’m holding you to it.”  They walk to the subway entrance and did not speak during the short ride to Jake’s apartment.  
   
TBC


	41. The Interview

They arrived in Jake’s apartment about a half hour after leaving the gig. There was only one bathroom, so Justin let Jake take his shower first.  Looking around the apartment, he was somewhat surprised at how much it had changed.  Even though he’d lived there for over two years, he hadn’t done a lot with the space and had just the bare minimum of furniture and personal effects.  Jake, on the other hand, had been in New York for almost 5 years and had obviously made it his home. He had a large bulletin board filled with ticket stubs, some from plays he’s been in and others ones he’d attended.  Pictures of his family and friends were dispersed around the small living space. A magnet on the fridge held a picture of a young child who Justin thought was his nephew. The space was definitely more a home than it had been when he lived there.

 

He had a full set of dishes and matching silverware, something Justin never bothered with, although Justin did have a full set of cookware.  Jake had framed art work on the wall and some throw pillows on the couch as well.  He had an overstuffed chair next to the small couch and even though the living room was pretty small, it didn’t feel crowded to Justin.   
.

 

The bedroom was still small, but it had a double bed instead of the king that Brian had insisted that he have in the room.  With the double bed, there was room for a small dresser and there was a small valet tray on it where Jake kept his cell and his wallet and keys.  Overall the apartment felt lived in.  No wonder it had only taken half a day for Brian and him to pack up his stuff.  He realized that maybe in his mind he had never really moved here, but had just seen New York as a temporary situation.   
.

 

He heard the water go off and walked to the bedroom to strip and waited for Jake to exit the bathroom.  The small bathroom was cramped compared to what he’d been used to at Britin. In the few short weeks that he had moved back to Britin, he’d gotten used to the huge walk in shower that he and Brian shared and all the room on top of the vanity for Brian’s toiletries. Laughing at his thoughts, he realized how much he had come to accept life back in Pittsburgh with Brian and wondered briefly why he ever thought moving to New York was a good idea.  But then he remembered that without moving to New York, he wouldn’t have met Jake and probably wouldn’t have been able to move back to Britin since he wouldn’t have a show in a couple of weeks.  It was all a circular argument and no one would ever know the answer.   
.

 

It made his mind a little dizzy thinking of the possibilities and he shook his head in wonderment at why these thoughts came to his mind.  He turned on the shower and stepped inside to wash away the day’s events.  As he soaped his torso, his hand made it down to clean his cock and balls and thoughts of Brian came roaring to the forefront of his mind.  He’d been really busy today and had enjoyed his visit with Jake and Carol, but now with the thought of sleeping on the couch coming to mind, he felt a tight tug and emptiness in his chest.  He hurriedly finished his shower and got dressed.  
“I got us some beers and ordered a pizza.  We didn’t get anything to eat for dinner and I thought I heard the Taylor beast from the bathroom.” Jake pointed to the brown bottles sitting on the low coffee table in the small apartment  
.

 

Justin’s stomach growled loudly at the mention of pizza and both men laughed.   
.

 

“Brian’s always teasing me about my appetite and how I’m going to bankrupt him with the cost of all the food I consume. Said by the man who watches every ounce of food that passes his lips.”  
.

 

“Brian is definitely an enigma, but hey who am I to question your man.  He is very protective of you and obviously will drop anything to come to your rescue.  You should have seen him when he called me to tell me about your accident.”  
.

 

Justin sat down on the couch and grabbed the beer waiting for him.  He popped the top and took a long draw and waited for Jake to talk.  
.

 

“He was a whirlwind, a man on a mission and a control freak to say the least.  He took one look at the apartment and said you were a slob and then he gave me $50.00 to clean it and told me to take care of your stuff.  He was all business and no time to chat.  He came in, looked around and told me what to do.  He didn’t even give me time to ask about you or when you were coming back.  He did call me though, once a week and filled me in on your recovery.  He is a man of his word.”  
.

 

Justin nodded his head in agreement at Jake’s explanation.  He could picture Brian doing just what Jake described. He could feel the warmth come to his cheeks as Jake was describing Brian.  Talk of Brian’s generosity as well as his goal minded actions made him miss him even more.  He hoped that Jake would forget his agreement to talk about what spooked him earlier in the evening so he could go call Brian.  He’d have to figure out a way to have some privacy as he doubted that Jake would want to watch him have phone sex with Brian.  
.

 

“He’s always been a man of his word.  If he tells you he will do something, he always does.”  Justin smiled at his explanation and continued.  “He’s never promised to do something and gone back on his word. Well, there was one time that he told me he would go on vacation with me for my spring break but then he had to work.”  Justin winced at that memory.  “I was such an immature ass.  I went by myself and then sat in the cottage all by myself and cried for two days.  Now, I listen when he talks and realize that it’s not all about me.  We have a partnership and I tell him what’s going on in my life.”  
.

 

The knock on the door, startled both men for a moment and then Jake realized it was the pizza delivery guy.  Taking out some money from his wallet, he opened the door and gave the man the money and a generous tip. The smell from the pepperoni wafted through the apartment and Justin took two plates down from the cabinet and placed them on the table.  Justin picked up a slice and bit into the tasty pie.   
.

 

“Oh.  Middle Village.  They do have great pizzas.  There truly is nothing like a New York Pizza either.”  
.

 

“First you rave about the delis.  Now you rave about the Pizzas.  I keep telling you man that you should just move back.  You two bought an apartment.  What’s holding you back?”  
.

 

“There is a lot of stuff, Jake.  For right now, we’ll be staying in Pittsburgh.  But like I said, I’ll be coming here at least once a month so we can hang together.”  
.

 

“Okay.  And you told me you would be here for my opening.  I’m holding you to it.”  
.

 

“Sure.” Justin took another bite of his pie, savoring the unique mix of tomato sauce, cheese and spices.   
.

 

They finished their pizzas and Justin’s phone rang.  Looking at the display, he saw it was Brian and pushed the button to answer.  
.

 

“Hey, Brian said.”  
.

 

“Hey. You’re early.  I didn’t expect you for another few hours.  Everything okay?”  Justin asked when he realized it was just shortly after 10:00.  Since they were in the same time zone, the early hour of the call had him wondering.  
.

 

“Yes.  I’m good.  I had dinner with a new client tonight and he was very pretentious.  I was hoping to relieve my boredom with some hot phone sex.  I need to get my beauty rest so I can have energy to keep up with Gus.”  
.

 

“So I’m supposed to be your sleeping pill.  Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  It sounds like I put you to sleep.  Sure you want to keep me as your paint boy?” he teased, loving the exasperated sigh coming from the other end of the phone.  
.

 

“Justinnnnn. “  
.

 

He laughed and nodded to Jake while pointing to the phone.  
.

 

“Thanks for the pizza, but I think I’ll turn in and talk to Brian for a while.”  He smiled a mischievous smile as he eyed the bedroom.  
.

 

“You can use the bedroom for a while.  Have some privacy.  I need to grab a pack of cigarettes. Clean up after yourself too.  I don’t mind sharing my place with you but sleeping in the wet spot when you didn’t even sleep with me is just too much.  I expect to find you all tucked in on the couch when I return,” Jake teased.  
.

 

“Brian, Jake has given me my leave to join you; although he warned that we should be quick.  He’s only go down to buy some cigarettes.  Think you work your magic quickly?”  Justin teased as he spoke with soft tones.  
.

 

“I think that can be arranged.  Besides phone sex is never as good as the real thing.  I’ll hold you to making up for it when you return.”  
.

 

“Oh, I like the sound of that.  Now hold on while I get ready.”  Justin didn’t finish his thought, but instead walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.  He undressed quickly, grabbed his bottle of lube from his toiletry kit and a small towel that he’d stashed inside as well.  Lying on the bed, he stroked himself to hardness very fast and propped himself on the pillows.  
.

 

“So are you naked?”  
.

 

   
The next morning dawned early and Justin was slightly stiff from sleeping on the couch, but he knew a quick stretch and some food would go a long way to making his body less sore.  Throwing on some clothes he grabbed his phone and wallet and let himself out of the apartment and walked to the bakery around the corner and ordered some coffee and 4 Danishes.  Grabbing the treats, he returned to the apartment where he found Jake dressed and sitting at the small table looking at his phone.  
.

 

“I brought breakfast.”  Justin waved the bag in front of Jake.  “And coffee.  I even remembered the sugar and cream that you rave about.”  He placed the bag on the table and sat at the small table with his friend.  Taking the food out of the bag, he placed two Danishes on a napkin and moved the napkin toward Jake.  “Two for you and two for me.”  He did the same for the other Danishes in the bag.  Throwing the bag away, he took a sip of his coffee and a bite out of his Danish and sighed.  
.

 

“I’ve never known you to wax so poetic about food. Every meal we eat, you are drooling over as if you’ve not eaten in a week. Doesn’t Brian feed you?” he teased.  
.

 

“Oh he does.  It’s just that I’m so busy at home; I don’t take the time to eat a lot.  I have to get a lot of pieces completed before the show and I’m kind of on a time crunch.”  Justin licked his lips from the pastry and enjoyed the lemon filling.  
.

 

“Okay.  So what time do you have to be at your appointed rounds today?”  Jake asked as he finished his first Danish.  
.

 

“11:00. the gallery opens at 10:00 and I have to give them time to get the day started.”  
.

 

“Okay.  I have to work this afternoon, but you’re welcome to play some more Halo.”  
.

 

“You’ve got an afternoon gig?”  Justin asked, the surprise showing on his face.  
.

 

“Work on the play.  I have rehearsal.”  
.

 

“Oh and tonight I have to go back to Bretano’s to attend a show.  You know pretend to be the up and coming artist. Guess I’ll see you when I get back.”  
.

 

“Probably not.  I have another gig tonight.”  
.

 

“Ok.  And tomorrow I’m supposed to be at Carol’s again to do the meet and greet with some critics.”  
.

 

“Shit. Well, next time we’ll have more time.  I promise.” Justin got up to give his friend a hug. “Thanks for letting me crash.” Justin looked at the clock on the microwave and saw that it was already 9:45.  “I better be going.  It’s going to take at least an hour to get there by the subway and I don’t want to be late.”  He pats his pocket and verifies he has his cell and wallet.  
.

 

“You’ll be great.  I’ll talk to you later if I get a break, otherwise I’ll try to be quiet when I get in after my gig.”  
.

 

“Bye.”  Justin walked out of the apartment and walked toward the subway.  
.

 

Justin had a fairly long subway ride to the gallery and his mind turned to the gig the night before.  While he’d been spared having to explain his sudden lack of responsiveness to Jake’s questions, the reality of the situation was still there.  He felt a chill run through his body when he thought he might run into the man, but after looking around he saw that he was not in the audience.  While the man had been gracious when Justin had said no to his request to go out, Justin still saw him in the audience at several more gigs.  He had not approached him again, but only smiled at him as Justin danced.  Many men smiled at Justin and that didn’t seem to make the situation any better.  Brian’s refusal to let him dance anymore was more than a reprieve and he was somewhat thankful that Brian had been so adamant that he quit.  He toyed with telling Brian the truth, but saw no reason to do so now.  As he tried to convince himself, he was no longer dancing and the man would be hard put to find him.  Why get Brian worked up for something that was not ever going to bother him again?  
.

 

The morning at the gallery went smoothly and he enjoyed some solitary time with the Xbox at Jake’s apartment.  He thought about Gus and Brian enjoying their day together but wondered if Brian was able to stay away from the high end furniture he wanted to buy for Gus.  Without his presence, he hated to think what would be delivered to Britin upon his return.  
.

 

“Hey,” he said as he called the familiar number, wanting to hear Brian’s voice but also feeling the need to be sure that Brian was remembering their conversation.  
.

 

“Hey, yourself.  Done with your “duties” for the day?”  
.

 

“No.  I have to go back to the gallery tonight for a show. Right now, I’m getting ready to play Halo.  Are you with Gus?”  He opened the box and took out the game as he flipped it over in his hand.  
.

 

“Hi Justin,” Gus says as Brian hands him the phone.  
.

 

“Hey buddy.  Are you and daddy having fun?”  
.

 

“We’re shopping for a bed for me.  He told me I could have any bed I want.  I’m buying a race car bed.  It will be so cool.  I sleep in the car and I can pretend to be racing like they do on TV.  Isn’t that awesome?”  
.

 

“A race car.  Wish someone had bought me a race car to sleep in. That would have been fun.  What else are you and daddy doing?”  
.

 

“We went to his work for a little while this morning.  Miss Cynthia let me shred some papers.  It was fun.  Then Uncle Ted let me help him make coffee and I brought daddy a big mug just the way you taught me with lots of sugar and cream.”  
.

 

“I bet that was fun.” Justin laughed at his enthusiasm.  Only a child would find shredding paper and making coffee fun.  “What else did you do?”  
.

 

“Then we went to Uncle Mikey’s store and daddy bought me a new comic book.  There was this one with a picture on the front that looked like daddy, but he wouldn’t buy it for me.”  Gus paused as he thought for a few moments. “Will you buy it for me, Justin?”  
.

 

Shaking his head when he realized that Gus saw the latest issue of Rage, he said, “Sorry, buddy.  I’m not going to buy it either.  Maybe when you get older I’ll buy you that comic.”  
“That’s what daddy said.  Grown ups.”  He handed the phone to Brian, having finished his talk with Justin.  
.

 

“I guess you told him you wouldn’t buy him the comic either.”  Brian said as he looked at the obvious disappointment on his son’s face.  
.

 

“I thought Michael had those out of sight of little eyes?”  Justin frowned when he thought of some of the graphics in the latest comic.  Gus would have been asking questions for days if he’d seen those.  A little shiver came over him at that thought.  
.

 

“He does.  But the latest issue just came in and he was putting them away when we walked in.  Mornings are slow for the shop since most of the patrons are in school or work.  He does a lot of stocking and inventory in the mornings.”  
.

 

“Okay.  So a race car bed. I’m proud of you, Brian.  But where did you find a place that sells race car beds?”  Justin sat on the couch and used the remote to turn on the TV so he could play his game.  He muted the sound so he didn’t hear the annoying commercials in the back ground.   
.

 

“On line.  I overheard one of my staff talking about a race car bed and I did some research last night.  They sell them at Target and the Big Q but I was not buying one there.  I found a few sites and Gus and I happily spent the remainder of the morning surfing the web looking for a racecar bed.” Brian placed a glass of chocolate milk in front of Gus.  
.

 

“I do believe that the retail world would go into shock if Brian Kinney stepped inside a Big Q and bought a race car bed. I would have loved to see everyone’s face, but alas you have spared the world the shock of their life time.”  
.

 

“We didn’t get to “talk” last night.  You seemed to be in too much of a hurry to finish before Jake came back.  How is the trip going?”  
.

 

“Brian.  You know he was only going to be gone a short while,” Justin said as he reminded Brian of the reason for the short session.  “I promise to make it up to you when I get back tomorrow.”  
.

 

“The trip?” Brian said, reminding him of the original question.  
.

 

“Fine.  I’ve really enjoyed hanging with Jake and Bretano’s is a wonderful space.  I can’t wait to see my pieces hanging there.”  
.

 

“Gus is getting antsy.  He keeps opening drawers in the living room.  I vaguely remember him saying something about some candy you hid for him.  I better go.  Hate for him to find other things we’ve stashed in the drawers.”  
.

 

“Later.”  
.

 

“Later.”  
.

 

Justin entertained himself the remainder of the afternoon and shared a second evening of phone sex with Brian.  Tonight’s call was longer than the night before as he didn’t expect Jake to be home until at least 2:00.  He finished the call and went immediately to sleep on the couch.  As promised Jake was quiet when he came in and Justin barely stirred.  
.

 

The next morning, he rose before Jake and left a short note thanking him for the visit on the kitchen table, and quietly grabbed his small bag as he made his way to the subway and to Carol’s office.  He’d planned on taking the bus directly to the airport after his interviews so he had to bring his bag with him. It was a hassle traveling like that but he’d traveled with his suitcase many a time and today he was happy since he’d be going home to Brian.  As he frequently reminded himself, this was not some weekend trip or an extended visit, but he was going home and this made him very happy.   
.

 

The first critic came in and sat down across from Justin.  He was a balding man in his mid 40’s but was impeccably dressed and smiled brightly.  
.

 

“Carol tells me you have been painting for only a short time.  How did you know you wanted to be an artist?”  
.

 

“I’ve always liked art.  My mom and I used to go to the Carnegie Musuem of Art  when I was young.  I used to take art classes there and I remember many Saturdays spent just eyeing the beautiful pieces.”  


 

>  
“So you started young.”  
.

 

“Yes.”  
.

 

“Did you have a favorite piece?”  
.

 

“Well, I always loved the paintings .  I remember being fascinated by how old they were and yet they still touched my soul.”  
.

 

“You paint?”  
.

 

“Yes and I sketch.”  
.

 

And the interview continued for about 20 minutes.  Justin silently thanked Carol as he realized she had kept her word and invited open critics that just wanted background information on the newest artist to be seen in New York.  He hoped their interviews would prove helpful in preparing the public for his show.  The second interview was similar to the first, but the critic was a woman.  He decided that he liked her better than the man, but that was probably because they spent a good deal of time talking about pizza before the interview started.  Maybe he’d been wrong and this wasn’t going to be so bad.  He had one more interview and then he was free to go to the airport and take the 2:00 flight to Pittsburgh.   
.

 

He was seated at the small white table with a glass of water.  He’d just returned from the bathroom and had grabbed a granola bar as he waited for the last critic to come see him.  The man walked into the room and was looking down as he finished reading a text on his phone.  The minute he looked at Justin, he knew this would not be a run of the mill interview.  For in front of him was the dancer from Dancing Beauty entertainment.   His day was definitely starting out well, while Justin’s day had taken a turn for the worst.


	42. The End of The World As We Know It

Justin stared at the man sitting across from him.  He took several deep breaths trying to stop himself from hyperventilating but only succeeded in sounding like he was at the doctor’s office with a chest cold and the doctor was telling him to breathe deeply.  He chastised himself for thinking that he would be able to make it through the interviews with no complications.  He wished Carol would take this moment to walk in and interrupt them, but then she might find out his secret.   


He wondered fleetingly if this really was a secret.  Many artists, authors, painters as well as actors and actresses supported themselves in a similar fashion until they could make a living with their art. But he was different.  He was going to be in a show at a prestigious gallery.  What would they think if they knew that the artist they were planning on showcasing in a few months was a male exotic dancer?  He was no fool.  He knew that his dancing was going to be the downfall of his career before it even started. 

   
He swallowed hard as he tried to hold back his tears.  Bending his head down, he took a drink of his water and wished he could push time forward and be on the plane to Pittsburgh.  


Of course Brian would want to know how the trip went and then he would have to tell him about the cancellation of the show due to his stripping and Brian would be mad because he was already furious about the stripping.  Shit!  Brian was always right and he should have just asked Brian for the money and then he wouldn’t be in this situation-  sitting in front of a man who stalked him and now was a critic for his art work.   


Of course, there would not be any art work because Justin didn’t have any time to paint before he was a dancer and all his time was just spent thinking of painting.  It was a mess.  And it was all his fault.  He wondered if he could salvage this disaster.  Would the critic still be as accepting now that he knew Justin as an artist?  He just wished that Carol had chosen a different person, one that didn’t know his past and wanted to date him.  He wished again for Carol to walk in and save him from this horrible situation, but the door stayed firmly closed and the only noise in the room was the whine of the fluorescent lights.  


Justin looked around the room, his personal death knoll.  He wanted to memorize the place so that in the years to come he could at least remember the office where his life dreams ended.  The walls were white, but each one held a large canvas showcasing the current artist in residence.  On one wall there was a large abstract with reds and blues; it reminded Justin of Van Gogh’s Starry Starry Night but with different colors.  On another wall there was a painting of a child holding out a flower to an old man on a park bench.  The man was smiling at the gesture.  Justin wished he could trade places with the old man, be the one receiving a flower from a child.  He liked children, loved Gus and was thrilled to be a part of his life again.  He guessed he would be more prominent in his life now that his painting career was over, over before it even started.  


Justin noticed the chairs in the room. The chairs were rounded, almost like a Papasan chair you would find at Pier I but these didn’t have the requisite bamboo frame.  These were overstuffed and he felt enveloped by the chair; almost as if it were encircling him in its arms.  The only thing of comfort in the room.  A small table was in front of him and that is where his glass of water sat, almost empty now.  He was too overwrought to notice the pitcher that also sat on the table, but instead just played with the empty glass and occasionally brought it to his lips to take a sip from the empty container.  He looked out the large picture window seeing the cars moving along the street.  They looked like miniatures since the office was on the 27th floor.  He was so lost in his thoughts that he failed to hear the man sitting across from him.  


“Mr. Taylor.”  Tim Callen said his name a little louder this time.  He looked at the young artist and smiled at the way fate had been in his favor today.  He’d woken up before the alarm had gone off and when he went to pick up his daily cup of coffee, he only had to wait in line for 2 minutes versus the normal 7 or 8.  He’d caught the bus with only a 5 minute wait and there was actually a seat so he didn’t have to stand the entire 20 minute ride.  And now, the piece de resistance.  He was going to interview the man that he’d been watching perform.  He had no idea that Mr. Taylor was an artist, but this did make sense as artists were just like many performers in the city, doing odd jobs, waiting tables or working as exotic dancers to earn enough so that they could break into their trade during the off hours.  This was the perfect opportunity for him to get to know the man he’d been watching.  This man had an exquisite body and he was talented to boot.  What a perfect combination.  He knew he would really enjoy the interview this morning.  Maybe now Mr. Taylor would go out with him, seeing that he was a legitimate candidate and worthy of his attentions.  


Justin looked up at the critic and swallowed hard.  He looked at the pen and paper in his hand and the enigmatic smile on his face.  He supposed the man was trying to make him feel at ease, but he knew that would never happen.  This man had seen him in his underwear, a thong at that and while the old adage to just think of people in their underwear might be sage advice to a performer going on stage, it really didn’t work in this situation.  This man had seen him in his underwear and watched him take his clothes off to get to the stage of undress.  There was little mystery there and he wondered how in the hell he was going to answer any of the man’s questions when all he could see was himself dancing and gyrating at various parties with this man in the audience.  He felt like a robbery victim, his personal space violated.   


He couldn’t take the chance of Carol coming in and asking why he didn’t complete the interview and he knew if he even wanted to try and salvage his career, he’d have to get through the next 20 minutes.  He drew a deep breath and thought of the hot reunion sex that he and Brian would have when he returned to Pittsburgh today and that made him smile.  Envisioning his partner coming into their bedroom only to find him spread eagled on the bed with his hole lubed and waiting for Brian.  He liked that picture and found it was a good reward for getting through the next twenty minutes.  


Justin held out his hand and said, “I’m Justin Taylor and I guess we better do this.  I have a plane to catch.”  


“I’m Tim Callen and I work for Art Works.  How did you get started in the art world?”  


“I’ve been going to art galleries since I was old enough to remember.”  


“What is your favorite medium?”  


“I like computer generated art and I love to paint with acrylics, but oils are interesting when I want really bold colors.”  


“What do you paint?  Where do you get your inspiration?”  


“I paint mostly abstracts.”  Justin ignored the second portion of the question.  He did not want to share his inspiration with anyone but the man who was his inspiration, Brian Kinney.  


“Have you always lived in New York?” These questions seemed appropriate and Justin felt himself relaxing, shedding his guard just lightly.  


“No.”   

                                                                                               
“Where did you live before New York?”  


“I grew up in Pittsburgh.”  He didn’t want to elaborate and kept his answers purposely short.  


“Pittsburgh.  They have an excellent art school, Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts.  Did you attend there?”  


“Yes.”  


Tim was getting irritated with Justin and his one word answers.  Surely this man would be willing to share more about himself so he would be able to write a favorable article.  He decided a more open question might suit his needs.  


“What can you tell me about yourself?”  


Justin looked around the room, trying to see if there were any hidden cameras.  He hated feeling vulnerable.  After the fiasco with the accident and his temporary memory loss, he was fearful of not remembering all his past and this question brought back all those insecurities that he’d been feeling for the last month since the accident.  Did he really know himself and how could he answer the question?  Was it a trick question for the man to delve into his private life?  Why did he agree to this crazy plan?  


“What do you want to know?”  He hoped throwing the question back at the critic would narrow the information he would have to provide.  


“Tell me about your family.  Any siblings?  What about your parents? Tell me about them.  Where did you attend school?  Is there a significant person in your life?”  


Justin squirmed in his seat.  He’d been with this man for almost 15 minutes and the interviews were only supposed to last 20 minutes.  He really didn’t like sharing his personal life with anyone, but especially this man.  The man who had followed him or at least appeared to do so for the last several months before his accident.   


“I have a sister.  My parents are divorced and there is someone significant in my life, but I’d like to keep my personal life private.”  


“You have a significant other.  The person is very lucky to have such a talented partner.  I would be very interested in meeting this person.  Maybe it can give me more insight into your art.  An artist’s work often is a reflection of their personal life and your work is so vibrant.”  


Carol finally chose that moment to knock on the door and walk in.  


“Justin, I just got off the phone with the editor of the Times.  He said his critic came back to the office just raving about your work and you.  I just know that this show will be magnificent.”  Turning her head to look at Tim, she said, “Oh Tim, I hope that Justin has given you a good amount of material for your article.  You always have such positive things to say about our new artists.”  


“Justin and I were just getting started, but unfortunately we were delayed in our interview.  I guess I will have to set up a phone interview or a second face to face to finish it as I understand he has a plane to catch.  I’m sure he can give me his contact information.”  


A chill ran through Justin’s body at the thought of Tim Callen having any of his contact information.  He wouldn’t be able to hide from the man.  


“I can stay a little longer, Mr. Callen.  I wouldn’t want to put you out.”  


“Oh that would be great.”  


“I guess that is my cue to leave.  Good day, gentleman and I’ll talk to you soon, Justin.”  Carol left the small room and Justin gave Tim a glare.  


“I’ve agreed to extend our interview for another 15 minutes so that you will not be inconvenienced by having to contact me to complete your assignment.  What else can I answer for you?”  Justin was all smiles and put on his country club manners, hoping to hide his horror of Carol volunteering to give out his personal information.  


Tim rattled off several more questions about Justin’s art, including his favorite piece, his dreams for the future of his art and how he comes up with the ideas for his pieces.  Tim thanked him for the extra time and gathered up his notebook.  


“I look forward to seeing you at your opening in a few months.  I can’t wait to see the whole set of pieces.”  He stuck his hand out to shake Justin’s hand and Justin continued to use his country club manners and shook his hand in return, even though he fought against that gesture.    


When Tim left the room, Justin was left in the silence and he allowed himself to feel for the first time in the last hour.  He put his head in his hands and sighed loudly.  


“Shit! Shit! Shit!”  He was regretting his decision to take things into his own hands.  He should have just asked Brian for the money and now he was truly screwed.  He couldn’t just pretend anymore.  He’d have to tell Brian, tell him the whole truth.  He could just imagine that conversation.  He’d have to listen to Brian’s tirade regarding his unwillingness to take his money and the repercussions of that decision.  Brian wasn’t really one to throw things in his face, but in this instance, he could see Brian’s face and anger as if he were already chastising him.  


He picked up his bag and felt for his phone in his pocket.  He turned the phone on, looking at the small device.  Brian was always hounding him to keep it on and charged and now that his was both on and charged he desperately wanted to forget that little lesson.  He knew Brian would expect a call as soon as he finished the interviews and he didn’t think he was ready for that conversation, not yet.  For once, he wanted to not channel his desire to share everything with Brian, hide his inner lesbian.  He needed to delay the truth just a little longer.  


Grabbing a quick hot dog from the street vendor outside the building before making his way to the bus to take to the airport, Justin savored another genuine New York delight.  He did love the food in this city and now he wondered what would happen to their plans.  They hadn’t signed the paperwork for the apartment, so maybe they could get out of it.  He knew that if they kept their apartment, Brian would regret the decision since Justin was not painting.  It would be a reminder of his biggest failure.  Justin felt a tear form in his eye, but wiped it away with his free hand.  He needed to get to the airport and back to Pittsburgh.  


After he went through security he had an hour before the plane boarded.  He’d been on automatic  pilot until now but when he sat down at the gate, he reviewed the last few days.  He dug out his phone and pushed the button for Daphne.  


“Hey.  You got a minute?” He asked tentatively.  


“Sure.  My next client doesn’t come in for half an hour.  What’s up?  You sound freaked out?”  


“Well remember that little problem I told you about?”  


“The little problem?”  


“The reason why I wanted to come back to Pittsburgh.”  


“Justin, tell me you did not run into the guy?” Daphne asked, the fear and incredulity in her voice obvious.  


“Worse than that.  He’s a critic for a local paper and I had to interview with him.”  


“Shit!”  


“Shit is right.  What am I going do now?  Daph, I’m so screwed.”  


“Oh Justin.  My next client will be here any minute.  What time does your plane land?”  


“3:00pm.”  


Daphne looked at her calendar for the afternoon and thanked the powers that be that her 3:00 had called earlier to cancel due to a family emergency.  Today was her short day and her 3:00 was her last appointment.  


“Come to my office when you land.  I’m free the rest of the day.”  


“Daph, I promised Brian I would come to Kinnetik when I got back.”  


“Justin Taylor, do you or do you not want my help?”  


“Okay.  I’ll be there.”  


“You better.”  


Justin disconnected the call.  He had 10 minutes until he boarded the plane.  He scrolled up to #1 and pushed the button.  


“Hey.”  


“Hey.”  


“You getting ready to leave the Big Apple?”  


“My plane boards in 10 minutes.”  


“I expect to see you spread eagled on our bed in Britin by 6:00.  I’ll bring home some Thai.”  


“Uh.  I got to see Daphne.  She just called and said it was important.  I’ll be home as soon as I can.  I promise.”  


“Okay.  But soon.  My dick is going into withdrawl.”  He said as he envisioned their reunion after just a few days.  


“Later.”  


“Later.”  


Brian looked at the phone and was tempted to call Daphne but decided against it.  Justin had long ago quit keeping secrets from him and he doubted that had changed.  


   
TBC


	43. Home Sweet Home

Justin got out of the cab at Daphne's office, a place he'd been only just a few short weeks ago when he first told Daphne about his stalker. He was so naïve that day, thinking that everything was behind him, that leaving the city would protect him from the anonymous man.  He now had even more information and knew who the man was and it wasn't like he could just brush him under the rug so to speak.  He had to be nice to him and he wondered exactly how he was going to do that with Brian around.  


Justin grabbed a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it, inhaling it deeply, but coughed as he was not used to smoking.  He had quit several years ago, but picked up a pack in the airport shop, hoping that a cigarette might calm him.  Unfortunately, that strategy didn't work either.  The deep inhalation only made him dizzy and nauseous, but then he thought that those feelings could be due to his situation.  He took another drag of the cigarette but it made him gag and want to throw up.  He dropped the cigarette and ground it under his shoe.  He took another deep breath, breathing in the fresh air and this time he didn't cough.  He put his hand on his messenger bag, feeling for his phone and wallet, shaking his head at his misguided thoughts, thinking that the cigarette would help the situation.    


He pushed the button in the elevator for the third floor and walked out of the elevator and turned to the right.  The humming of the fluorescent lights in the hallway made him feel like he was in a bad "B" movie.  The sleek glass doors of the office suites were labeled with the business name and he walked until he found the one with Daphne's name on it.  He opened the door and recognized the familiar painting on the wall; it was one he had given her years ago.  He smiled a half smile thinking that at least some of his work would be displayed.  Hearing the door open, Daphne came out of the inner office, giving him a hug and then ushering him into her office.   
"You look like shit," she said as she eyed him from head to toe.  "I know you talk more when you're eating so I made you some popcorn."  


Justin laughed.  "Do you feed all your clients popcorn?  I bet that could get expensive and messy."  


"Freak."  


"Hey, I'm not the one giving out popcorn before I sit on your ‘couch'."  


"Whatever.  I just know you.  So take the damned popcorn and talk."  


"Wow.  I'm glad I'm not one of your patients," he teased as he took the offered bowl and sat on the chair opposite her.  


She sat in her chair and examined her very dearest friend.  She took in the frown on his face, looking like his world had crumbled. He looked defeated.  There was a faint smell of smoke on him which surprised her since Justin had given up smoking several years ago.   


Justin ate several handfuls of popcorn and wouldn't look at Daphne, a mixture of shame and fear roiling through him.  He didn't know where to start and hoped that Daphne would just start talking, asking him questions so he wouldn't have to think.  He wouldn't look at her, just kept staring at the popcorn bowl.  


"You just going to eat the entire bowl of popcorn, or are you going to talk?"  


"I'm screwed."  


"Tell me about the interview."  


Justin took his hand out of the bowl, wiping it on his pants.  He looked at Daphne with a mix of relief and anxiousness.  Taking a deep breath, he inhaled a lungful of air, hoping it would calm him, and it worked a little.   "The first two interviews were great. The critics asked really good questions and I started to relax.  But then "he" came in.  I recognized him right away and he knew exactly who I was."  


"So was he weird or creepy?"  


Shaking his head in response, Justin said, "No, not really.  It took a while for me to start talking."  Justin gazed out into the office, a far away stare on his face as he remembered his frozen body at the sight of the familiar man.   "He started asking questions and it took a bit for me to respond."  


"Okay.  So it went okay?" Daphne was frustrated with Justin as she wasn't getting the information she desperately needed.  She wrung her hands a few times but tried to keep them in her lap so he wouldn't notice her anxiety.  


"He'd only gotten a few questions in since there was such a long delay. I'd mentioned earlier that I had a plane to catch and he knew I was anxious to leave so he asked me for my contact information. He offered to complete the interview over the phone."  


"Shit!"  


"Yeah Shit is right.  No way I'm giving that guy my information.  He's already asked me out once and I turned him down." Justin grabbed another handful of popcorn stuffing them in his mouth.  


Daphne opened her mouth in a wide O and her eyebrows went up toward her forehead.  "He did what?  You didn't tell me he asked you out."  


"Well, he only did it the one time and when I told him no, he backed off."  Justin looked down into the bowl of popcorn and moved the remaining corn in a small circle, refusing to look at Daphne.  


"Justin...."  


"And to top this wonderful interview off, he heard me talk about my partner and made a statement that he wanted to interview him since partners could provide insight into an artist."  Justin frowned at that statement.  


"Shit."  


"Yeah.  When Brian finds out that this guy has seen me dance and is a critic too, he will go ballistic."  


"Well, maybe he won't say anything about seeing you dance."  


"Daphne.  With my luck that will be the first thing they talk about.  And once Carol and the Bretano's hear about my dancing, I'm sure they will drop me in a minute."  Justin wiped a small tear from rolling down his cheek.  


"Bretano's is such a prestigious gallery and when they find out about this, I'm done before I even get started.  Brian is going to be furious.  We spent all that time looking at apartments and now my career is over before it starts."  Justin put his head in his hands and allowed the tears to fall.   


"I worked so hard for this Daph.  I only was dancing so I could have time to paint and now it back fires right in my face.  The thing I did to give me time to paint is going to be the thing that results in the end of my career."  


 "Maybe he won't say anything.  Look at it from his perspective.  He sees a talented artist.  If he shares information about your dancing and ruins your career, he won't be able to see you again.  I bet he won't say anything to anyone."  


Justin looked up from his hands, and saw the staunch support of his best friend.  Maybe he was being a drama queen.   


"Maybe you're right."  


"But don't think you're off the hook.  You are going to go right home and tell Brian the truth.  Every bit of the truth.  And if you don't, I will."  


"But..."  


"No buts Justin.  You have kept this secret way too long from Brian.  Your dancing has caused nothing but trouble and its time you talked to Brian.  I'm no longer supporting your belief that you don't need to share this information with him."  


Justin gave her a small smile.  He grabbed a tissue from the table in front of him and blew his nose.   


"I'll be right back."  He walked to her private bathroom and washed his face of the tears, returning to her office.  "Better.  I guess I need to go home and face the music."  


"I think that would be good.  Justin, you know I love you, but you shouldn't be afraid of Brian's reaction.  He loves you and has always supported you. Will he like it? No, but you obviously don't like the situation either. So get it out in the open, come clean, and  you can face whatever happens together.  It will be okay.  I know it."  


Justin walked over to Daphne and kissed her on the cheek and they shared a much needed hug.  "Thanks.  I'll call you tomorrow."  


Justin left her building and sighed.  He still didn't have a car so he had two options; call Brian for a ride or take the service home.  He decided the service was the best option since he really didn't want to think about a long ride home with Brian.  He had to give himself time to plan his speech.  He called for the car service and waited in the lobby until the car showed up about 10 minutes later.  


As the car drove toward West Virginia, he was thankful that Britin was 40 minutes outside the city.  Usually he was in such a hurry to get home, but today he was thankful that it was far away.  He watched as the cityscape turned to a country scene.  The billboards lining the road replaced with huge expanses of land with large yards and quiet streets.  It was almost like he was in a different world, one more carefree and less commercial.  Far too quickly the car was turning down the street that led to Britin.  Normally the drive out here seemed interminable when he'd been coming home, counting the miles and exits till he was reunited with Brian, but today was different.  Today he wished it was twice as long, but unfortunately the time flew and he was in their driveway.  The driver was knocking on the window alerting him to their arrival.  


Taking several deep breaths, he gathered his messenger bag, draped it over his shoulder and opened the door.  Walking to the trunk, he pulled out his carryon and rolled it to the front of the car and gave the driver a tip.  The man dipped his head and thanked him, wishing him a good evening.  


Justin rolled his suitcase toward the door, squared his shoulders and put a smile on his face.  He remembered his mother always told him that a smile was contagious and it was hard to be unhappy when you were smiling.  Taking out his key, he unlocked the door and walked in.  He came in through the utility room off the garage and wondered if Brian would be down any minute after hearing the garage door open.  He stopped for a minute waiting to hear the familiar footsteps, but smiled when he didn't.  He imagined Brian was in their room, eagerly waiting for his return.  His first reprieve all day.  If Brian was waiting for him he could manage to make their reunion last all night.  That would give him more time to figure out what he was going to tell Brian and figure a strategy for messing up their move to New York.     


Justin walked through the kitchen and stopped at the fridge, opening it to find himself a snack.  If he was going to distract Brian all night with a long sexcaspade, he needed lots of energy.  His stomach growled at the sight of the well stocked fridge.  He saw a container of left-over turkey and some mashed potatoes and grabbed them to make himself a plate of food.  After heating up the food and sitting down to the table, he glanced at the mail from the last few days.  He'd been in the kitchen for 15 minutes when he heard Brian's feet slapping on the hardwood floors.  


"There you are," Brian said as he leaned down and kissed Justin on the head. "I thought I heard the garage but when you didn't come bounding up the stairs, I thought I was hearing things."  Looking at the plate of food, he smiled.  "Ah... Had to feed the beast. Good idea."  


Brian opened the fridge and took out a beer, popping the top and taking a draw.  Sitting at the table, he placed the bottle down and watched Justin as he looked intently at his plate rather than at him.  Justin was very quiet and this set off alarms in his head.  Something happened in New York.  He knew Justin would tell him and he recognized avoidance when he saw it.  He wondered when he became such an astute observer of his partner and realized he'd always been an astute observer when it came to Justin.  While Justin claimed to have written many chapters in the Brian Kinney operating manual, he was the author of his own Justin Taylor manual.  He saw the down cast eyes, the rote eating of food, the quiet of his partner.  Normally Justin would be telling him every detail from the time the alarm was set to the food he ate and the lack of babble from Justin's mouth was just as telling as if Justin was telling him something was wrong.  He'd learned that Justin was incapable of keeping his fears to himself and he knew that he'd learn sooner or later what the problem was.  For now, he was going to let it slide.  He'd been without his partner for three days and his cock ached for his bubble butt.   


Justin finished his food and put his plate in the dishwasher.  He realized he could no longer stall so before he turned around; he put a smile on his face and then walked toward Brian.  


"I see you've developed a little problem."  He cupped Brian's cock through his jeans.  "Why don't we go upstairs and take care of it?" Justin leaned into Brian and opened his mouth to kiss his partner.   


"I think that's an excellent idea."  


TBC


	44. What Happens In New York Doesn't Stay in New York

Justin lay on Brian's chest after their first round of reunion sex. Both men catching their breath and sharing equally satisfied looks; sex between them was always hot, but reunion sex was even hotter, if that was possible. And it seemed that Brian wasn't quit done yet, which was fine with Justin, he was missing the taste of his partner. Unfortunately, as he was giving Brian a blow job he kept replaying the conversation with ‘the man'. Justin had to bring his mind to the task at hand a number of times and he hoped Brian hadn't noticed. He refused to use his name as that personalized the situation too much. He wished he would have been capable of denying that he was the dancer, a false familiarity, but unfortunately Justin was a terrible liar.  


If only he could have told ‘the man' that he was mistaken or not shown any recognition, it would all go away and he would not have any worries. But that was not his fate, his fate was to have all that he worked for go down the drain because he wanted to do it all on his own. He wondered if this time he would finally learn his lesson. He didn't learn it the first time with the ‘Sap' and that almost had disastrous consequences. This time his desire to be independent would result in the loss of his career.  


After coming hard in Justin's mouth, with a pleasurable moan, Brian was slowly falling asleep, which surprised Justin a little. Usually they went at least three rounds after being apart for several days. Justin decided that he must have slept poorly due to his absence. He knew he always took a few days to get used to sleeping alone when they would part, especially if they had been together for more than a few nights. He'd been in Pittsburgh and living with Brian for almost a month and this was their first time being apart. He didn't take any comfort in the fact that they would most likely not be separated again anytime soon. The bimonthly trips that Carol had requested were probably not going to be happening after Bretano's found out about his dancing. Justin closed his eyes and prayed for sleep, giving him another reprieve in telling Brian about the fiasco that was New York.  


Brian was actually pretending to sleep and lay there quietly listening to Justin's breath. He'd realized that Justin was somewhat off tonight and his suspicion that something had gone wrong in New York was even stronger now. He would wait until Justin told him what had happened. He hoped it would be soon as he'd gotten used to having Justin happy and carefree. When he was certain that Justin was sleeping, he allowed Justin's even breathing to lull him to sleep as well.  


They woke in the morning, but Justin did not appear to be well rested as he had tossed and turned all night. He dutifully burrowed under the blanket and took care of Brian's morning wood, not wanting to give Brian any ammunition to suspect that anything was wrong. He wanted to postpone the inevitable as long as possible. Unfortunately Justin's lackluster blow job was another red flag to Brian that something was amiss. While the blow job was satisfactory, Justin failed to use some of his unique techniques and relied on his hands more than his mouth. Brian hoped that Justin would talk soon; he preferred to not have Justin's troubles interfere with their sex life.  


"Shower?" Brian suggested, preferring to pummel Justin in the shower than give him a blow job.  


"Sure."  


They joined each other in the shower, Justin standing in front of the shower spray and Brian behind.  


"Hand me the shampoo," Brian said as he held out his hand. Brian poured some shampoo into his hand and then proceeded to wash Justin's hair. Justin usually was very verbal when Brian washed his hair but the lack of any "oh's and that's nice" changed Brian's mind.  


"How was New York?" Brian tried to be nonchalant with his question, hoping to get Justin to talk.  


"Fine," Justin said as he turned around to rinse out the shampoo. He grabbed the soap to clean Brian, continuing in their morning ritual.  


"Fine? How did your meeting with Carol go?" Brian knew from Justin's short answer that the visit was not fine. He started with the first meeting on Justin's agenda and hoped he would not have to ask about each event he was scheduled to participate in.  


"Good. She liked the slides of the pieces I've done."  


"Everything go okay with Jake?"  


"Jake's good. It was fun seeing him again."  


"You guys do anything?"  


"I went to a show with him; he had a gig. We mostly hung out and played Halo."  


Brian rinsed his hair and turned the water off. He opened the shower door to grab the towels and handed one to Justin. They dried off in silence. Justin wrapped the towel around his waist and went to the sink to brush his teeth and Brian went to the other sink to shave and brush his teeth. Justin hung up his towel before leaving the bathroom and went to the bedroom to put on his clothes. Brian followed him in after he hung up his towel.  


"Is the space at Bretano's good? Did you get a feel for how your show will look?" Brian was hoping Justin would give him a clue as he was quickly running out of things that Justin was supposed to do in New York.  


"It's good."  


Brian put on his shirt and pulled on a pair of jeans. Justin looked at him quizzically. "Aren't you going to work?"  


"No. I thought I'd stay here and let you tell me what the hell got into you in New York," Brian said in a quiet tone. He sat down on the bed and looked at Justin.  


"You should go to work. Remember, I'm a kept man and I eat a lot," Justin tried to keep his voice light but the halfhearted joke came out a little more serious than he anticipated. He backed away from the bed and stood in the door frame, still in the bedroom but not close enough for Brian to grab him.  


"Enough of your evasiveness. Tell me what the fuck happened in New York." Brian said in an eerily calm voice that told Justin his time of evasive tactics and short answers was not only over but dead and gone. "And don't tell me nothing happened because I know that's a lie. You have barely said three sentences to me since you've been back and usually I can't get you to shut up. Your mind was obviously preoccupied when we were in bed last night; we only went one round instead of the three or four that I would have expected and your enthusiasm last night and this morning when you blew me was severely lacking. Either you are coming down with something and I've kissed your forehead enough to know that you aren't sick or something happened." Brian looked at Justin and his eyes bored holes into the younger man.  


The moment of truth had arrived. Justin was both relieved and scared at the same time. He didn't even know where to start; but knew one thing for certain, Brian was going to be mad, very mad when he finished.  


"I changed my appointments today after your call yesterday. When you said you were going to see Daphne instead of coming home, I decided that I should clear my calendar. I see my intuition was correct and I will wait."  


"I'm sorry. I don't want to keep you from working, Brian." Justin frowned when he learned that Brian had cancelled work, especially when he knew what Brian was going to learn from their little tête-à-tête.  


"Sorry is bullshit." Brian lowered his voice to a gentler tone now; that came out harsher than he thought. "Now come over here and tell what the hell is wrong, Sunshine." Brian patted the bed and motioned for Justin to join him.  


Justin picked up each foot as if it weighed 100 pounds. Each step felt heavier and heavier and he fought all his urges to run downstairs and take the car keys and drive. He sat on the bed next to Brian and slumped his shoulders, looking at his feet. Justin was quiet, not saying anything.  


"Talk to me. We can't fix anything until you tell me what is wrong," Brian said, volunteering to fix whatever needed repair.  


"You can't fix this. No one can."  


"Well that's a start. You're talking. Now let's try for telling me what the problem is and I can be the judge."  


"I lied to you," Justin said very softly as he scooted toward the edge of the bed.  


Brian let Justin move away from his, he understood, he didn't like it, but he understood, better than maybe Justin knew.  


"Remember when I told you that I wanted to come back to Pittsburgh to paint because I wasn't inspired?"  


"Yes."  


"That was true, but there was another reason." Justin cast his eyes toward the floor, unable to look at Brian as he told him the rest of the story. "There was this guy. He used to come to the gigs. He started coming to a lot of the gigs and I... I wanted to leave New York so he couldn't...."  


"Jesus Justin." Brian ran his hand through his hair several times as he tried to process this information. "You had a fucking stalker." Brian wasn't sure what he felt about that. He'd had a stalker at one point, and he was sitting right next to him in the manor he bought for the man he loved, but this was New York where it started, and Justin definitely did not seem to appreciate being stalked... not that Brian would ever admit, out loud, that he didn't really mind Justin stalking him... it had led to some pretty hot nights in bed (and all over the loft).  


"Well, not really. I only saw him at my gigs and then only sometimes. He didn't follow me anywhere else." Justin tried to minimize the information, just as he had each time he told someone about the situation.  


Brian could feel the adrenaline course through his veins. Was Justin destined to be followed, stalked or threatened his entire life? First Chris Hobbs threatened him at school and no one had to recite how that ended up. Then the whole fucking thing with Prop 14 and his father and Babylon. Now, once again, he had someone following him, showing up at his work. But there was more to this picture.  


"Don't.... Justin. Don't start telling me about a fucking stalker and then back pedal, telling me it was not that big a deal." Brian pinched his nose between his eyebrows and squinted his eyes. "If it wasn't a big deal you would have mentioned this fucker before, and you haven't said anything."  


"I thought if I came home then it wouldn't be an issue."  


"So the problem would magically disappear?" Brian waved his hand like a magician. "Come back to Pittsburgh and everything would be wonderful."  


Justin just nodded his head in agreement. Brian's fury was evident and he decided that less really was more at this point in the conversation.  


"What about the painting? Was that a lie too? Or was it part of the plot to get you away from the fucking stalker?" Brian ran his hand through his hair another time and could feel his heart beating so fast in his chest, he was certain that Justin could see it from where he was sitting.  


"No. It wasn't a lie. I really was having problems painting, long before any of this. All that was absolutely true." Justin fervently hoped Brian believed him and watched Brian before he added any more to his explanation.  


Brian sat quietly processing the information. He looked at Justin, who put his head down, unable to look at him and talking in a quiet, timid voice. This stalker had really scared Justin. No wonder he wanted to get away and paint here; it was totally understandable.  


"Why are you telling me about the stalker now? Did something happen when you went to New York?" Brian felt himself calming as he looked at Justin. Justin needed him to be supportive. There was something that he was not telling Brian, something that had changed the game and now he needed Brian. He felt his anger dissipating and reached out to touch Justin, laying his hand on his back for support.  


The moment of truth had arrived. Justin's future was going to be destroyed with his next statement and he started to hyperventilate.  


"Breathe, Justin." Brian's instinct had been correct and Justin was close to a panic attack. "You're sitting here next to me at Britin. You're safe. Now slowly breathe." Justin hadn't had one of those in a long time and he cursed Chris Hobbs for the millionth time that he changed this young, beautiful and innocent man to a panic stricken adult as a result of his denial of his own sexuality. He often wished Chris would get retribution one day, but today he was concerned only for the welfare of his partner. The man who was obviously worried and upset beyond words.  


Justin did as Brian said and soon his breath was normal again.  


"I met the stalker. His name is Tim Callen." Justin said, almost in a whisper.  


"You fucking talked to the man?" Brian reacted fiercely, his calming voice and still body ramped up again as a result of Justin's statement.  


"I didn't have a choice. He's an art critic for Art Works and he was my third interview," he said and breathed a little sigh of relief. The information was now out there, not in his gut where it was twisting and turning, nor being visualized in his head where every permutation of damnation was realized, but out there for everyone to see.  


"Oh." Brian listened and allowed his anger to dissipate and be replaced by his love for Justin. He realized this situation was an impossible one for him. He was terrified of the man but had to interact with him to move his career forward. No wonder he'd been quiet and solemn since he returned home. Brian stroked Justin's back up and down as he usually did when he wanted to calm the young man.  


"I'm so sorry Brian. I know you agreed to support me, but I understand if this changes your mind. Bretano's will probably cancel the show when they find out and then Carol won't represent me anymore. And without representation, I won't have a chance in hell of making it in the art world. And now I blew my chance of making it just because I was too proud to ask you for money. I wanted to do it on my own and now what do I have to show for it? I have a career that is destroyed before it even started." Justin lay on his stomach on the bed and let the tears that he'd been holding back for days fall, making his pillow damp.  


"Like I said, Justin, sorry is bullshit." Brian said calmly as ran his hand up and down Justin's back and kissed Justin on the cheek. "You really are a drama princess. You do realize that? Nothing is going to happen."  


Justin turned his head to look at Brian. " But he'll tell Carol and Bretano. They won't want to show my art."  


"This isn't some teaching job, Justin. There is no morals clause. And if he were to tell Bretano's or Carol then he would have to tell them how he knew you were a dancer and admitting that he followed you around to a lot of gigs wouldn't look good on his part."  


Justin sniffed and sat up, grabbing a Kleenex from the side of the bed. He blew his nose and threw the tissue away. "You're so calm about all this. I thought you'd be furious."  


"I'm not happy with you that you didn't tell me the whole truth about why you wanted to come back, but I understand why you didn't. I just wish you had told me when you got home. You've been miserable for the last 18 hours and we would have had a much more enjoyable reunion if you weren't filled with doom and gloom."  


"I'm the luckiest man in the world to have you for a partner."  


"Twat. At least the idiot didn't try and pick you up."  


Justin looked away.  


"You're fucking kidding me. He did not try and pick you up." Justin still wasn't facing him. "Justin?"  


"He tried, but I told him no and he backed off." Justin was proud of the way he responded to Tim, even though he was terrified at the time.  


"Good."  


"But..."  


"But, what?"  


"He said something about wanting to interview you since you were my partner and partners sometimes have insight into the artist's work."  


"I see. So he thinks I have any inkling what goes on in that blond head of yours. He must be as delusional as you are." Brian leaned over and gave Justin a kiss and brought him in for a hug where they touched foreheads, a familiar connection for them. Standing up he walked to his closet and opened it.  


"What are you doing?"  


"Getting ready for work."  


"But you said...."  


"I know what I said. But now that I know you're okay and nothing terrible happened in New York, I have a company to run and a partner to support. I think that is your signal to go to your studio to paint."  


"Thank you."  


"Don't thank me. We still have a lot to do before your show and one of those things is to furnish an apartment. So I best be going to work to pay for said furnishings." Brian walked to Justin, took his chin in his hand and lifted it to kiss him on the lips. The kiss lingered and both enjoyed the closeness of their partner.  


Brian moved away from Justin, returning to his closet. Justin followed and attempted to turn him away from his clothes.  


"As much as I would love to make up for last night, I really do need to go into the office." Brian kissed Justin on the lips and pulled out a tie.  


"Brian...." Justin urged and ran his hands over Brian's torso.  


"Hold that thought and I promise to come home early tonight. I think you need to be properly punished for your behavior since your return." He raised his eyebrows and gave him a playful look.  


Justin nodded at the promise of bad boy sex and dutifully let Brian go. "I'll hold you to that."  


"I fully expect you to, twat. Now I'm leaving." Brian swatted Justin's butt and walked out of the room.  


Justin smiled at Brian and moved toward his closet to don his paint clothes. Maybe his life would be okay.  


TBC


	45. Drama Princess

After that fateful day, Justin tried to believe Brian's decree that his days of supporting himself as an exotic dancer would not make a difference to his art, and he dutifully went up to his studio, spending the day there.  Every day Brian would come home and find Justin in the studio, the music blaring and several canvases propped up in the drying area.  However, Justin was still troubled and he was not the artist he knew he could be.   


Taking out the crimson tube of paint, he squirted some on his palette and then squirted some Cerulean blue and also some Titanium white.  Mixing the colors together he came up with a deep shade of purple and begun his next painting.  After painting for several hours he stopped, stepped back and sighed.  To him it was just a lot of swirls on canvas, obviously lacking the creativity needed to be a world class painter.  


He'd been in his studio for two weeks and nothing he painted was a piece of art worthy of showcasing.  He slid down the wall and looked at the studio surrounding him.  Here Brian had furnished an artist's wet dream; high end camel hair brushes in 20 sizes were available to him to paint the thinnest of lines to the widest of brush strokes as well as 40 canvases, prestretched in 5 sizes, with the understanding that he could order a different size if he wanted.  There were three tubes of every color of paint and four palettes to mix them.  Brian had provided him with everything he needed to be a first class artist, but the one thing he could not provide was drive and creativity.  It seemed that both were sorely lacking in Justin's studio.  


Why did he think he was a painter of a high enough caliber to be successful in New York?  He had been so happy when Carol had called to tell him about the show and attributed his sudden success to the extra time he had to paint.  And of course the extra time was a direct result of his dancing.  Looking at the canvas in front of him, he wondered how he could have fooled himself, Carol and everyone else.  He really didn't have any talent and had been swooped up in the momentum.   


His lack of ability to paint anything new since returning from New York was just a sad wakeup call and made him realize that he was not really talented and the show was a fluke.  He was somewhat relieved as his fears about the cancellation of his show and any future shows were now a moot point.  He didn't really need to worry about any revelations regarding his "secret".  No one would care that he supported himself for a brief moment as an exotic dancer since he wouldn't be remembered past the opening night of his show.  He had returned to Pittsburgh, supposedly to follow his dream of painting and to be with Brian, only to find it all falling apart.   


His lie of omission to Brian regarding his other reason to come home was really a moot point.  It didn't matter that he supported himself for a short time as an exotic dancer so he could paint, since it appeared that he couldn't paint even when he had all the time in the world.  His inability to paint had not been a result of being away from Brian and missing him, but rather an inability to paint at all.  He guessed that the few pieces that were going to be in the show was his one chance at fame and now he would have his 15 minutes and return to obscurity.   


He was saddened by the thought that his goal of painting was really a lie and his dream would never be fulfilled.  For so long he'd only thought of one thing and that was being a success in the art world.  He always attributed his lack of success to lack of time to paint and then he convinced himself and Brian that if he moved back to Pittsburgh where there were no constraints on his time, then he would have success with his art.   


He placed his brushes in turpentine and went down to his bedroom to shower the smell of the chemical off his skin.  The house was quiet, Brian had gone to work and the housekeeper was off on Wednesdays.  After his shower, he roamed the large house, stopping in each room and taking in the furnishing, making note if it was his or Brian's influence in the decorating of the room.  He counted 5 rooms where his influence was prominent and the rest were Brian's.  He walked outside and wandered around the grounds of their property, again noting where Brian's influence was prominent and where his was the deciding factor.  


He remembered Daphne was off on Wednesdays as well and returned to the house to call her.  


"Hey," he said when she answered the phone.  


"Hey.  What's up?"  Alarms went off in her head.  She'd seen Justin a few times since he returned but he always seemed subdued.  It was very unusual for him to call in the middle of the day.   


"Not much.  I can't paint worth shit lately so I should just give up trying.  I don't know why I thought returning here would make it better.  It's all a farce."  


Daphne listened and while she heard his words, what wasn't spoken was even louder in her head. Her friend was retreating.  She wondered if he decided against telling Brian about the stalker and just decided that he should give up painting, keeping Brian forever be in the dark.   


"Did you eat lunch yet?  I was thinking of coming into the city. The grocery stores out here are lame.  I thought I'd make some linguini with clam sauce and there aren't decent clams this far out."   


"No.  I've been running errands all day.  It is amazing how much stupid little shit I have to do; go to the cleaners, go to the bank, run to the mall to pick up my favorite lipstick.  When I was in school, I always thought I was busy, but now that I have my practice, it seems that I have more to do and less time to do it in," she said, giving Justin a review of her morning, filling in the silence from the other end of the phone.  She recognized her friend's need to talk, even though he didn't say anything.  The therapist in her had alarm bells going off in her head.  He was crying out for help and she knew she had to help him.  "Do you want me to come out there?  I have a car and you don't."   


Justin frowned at the mention of his lack of transportation.  While he wanted a car, he now questioned if it was prudent to ask Brian for this extravagance.  He didn't relish asking him for rides all the time and he didn't want to run up a big bill with the service.  


"That would be good.  I know that it's a pain to drive out here, but as you pointed out, I don't have a car.  I guess I could make linguini another day.  I have the time now."  


"Ok.  Give me an hour and a half.  I have one more errand I need to run and then I'll be out.  Want me to pick up food on the way or do you want to eat out there?"  


"There's a pizza place about 1 mile from our place-  Tony's-  its right off the highway exit.  I'll call it in and you can pick it up on your way out.  It will be hot and then we won't have to wait for delivery.  They are so slow in delivering, not like it is in the city."  


"Okay.  See you then."  


Daphne didn't want to break Justin's trust, but she could hear the despair in his voice.  Justin had actually caught her as she was returning to her apartment and she had just finished putting her purchases away.  Glancing at her watch, she made a decision and she hoped he would forgive her.  She drove the short ten minute drive to her destination and parked her car.  


Walking in to the building, she was still as impressed as she had been several years ago when Brian opened Kinnetik.  Justin's painting added a sophisticated touch to the boutique agency and she was so proud of her friend.  Approaching the receptionist, she fervently hoped that Brian was not busy and if he was, she hoped he would take a few minutes to see her anyway.  


"Mr. Kinney please," she politely said as she announced her desire to see the important man.  


"Is he expecting you?"  


"No.  Please tell him that Ms Chanders is here to see him."  


"He's a very busy man and doesn't usually see people without an appointment."  


Daphne took a calming breath understanding that this woman was only doing her job, keeping her boss from unimportant interruptions.  She heard the click clack of heels and looked up to see Cynthia walking down the hallway.  


"Daphne.  I haven't seen you in ages.  What brings you to our establishment?"  


"I came to talk to Brian.  It's important."  


Cynthia looked at the receptionist and nodded a confirmation that it was okay to disturb her boss.  The receptionist picked up the phone and punched in Brian's exchange.  


"Kinney.  I thought I told you I didn't want to be disturbed."  


"Yes sir, Mr. Kinney, but Cynthia said it was okay to buzz you.  There is a Ms. Chanders here to see you."  


He felt a mix of surprise and trepidation as he heard Daphne's name.  He knew Daphne was very loyal to Justin but she was also worried about him and her presence at Kinnetik would not be an unplanned visit.  He wondered how much she knew about the situation with the "critic/stalker" and figured he would find that information out in just a few minutes.  He clicked on the work he had on his computer and saved it for a later time.  He thought twice about his decision to come to work today, maybe he should have just stayed home and fucked Justin to the mattress.  


"Send her in and don't disturb us unless the building is on fire."  


As Daphne walked into Brian's office, he got up from his chair and walked to her, grabbing her hand and kissing it.  Looking her over, he smiled and said, "Slumming today.  I think you must be hanging out with my partner or his return is having a negative influence on your wardrobe."  


Daphne had to laugh at Brian's levity and that relaxed her a bit.  
Brian waved her to the couch and sitting area in his office and they both sat down.  " I'm sure my couch is not as nice as yours, but I don't have people telling me their deepest desires and greatest tragedies either."  He smiled as he saw her tip her hand to his comment.  "To what do I owe your presence at my humble establishment?  I've already completed the art for your business cards and the sign on your door."  


"Justin." The one word perked his ears but he didn't think he needed an additional explanation.  


"This have anything to do with the "Important issue" he had to help you with upon his arrival that precluded him from coming home and getting fucked to an inch of his life?"  


Daphne had the decency to blush slightly at Brian's comment.  


"Amazing that I can still get you to blush after all these years.  But, I assume you are here to enlighten me on that conversation."  


"I'm worried about Justin.  He doesn't seem like himself.  He's lost confidence in his ability to paint."  


"Straight to the point.  I always liked that about you.  Why don't you share what you know?"  


"He called me a little while ago, said he was coming into the city to buy ingredients to do some cooking.  Said he can't paint and that his return to the city was a farce."  


"You know we really should call him Drama Princess," Brian said as he listened to her.  


"Do you know what he is talking about?" she asked, hoping that Brian did know and she wouldn't have to break all of Justin's trust.  


"I have an idea.  What do you know?"  


"You first.  He'd kill me if I told you."  


"Seems the lad is less than forthcoming with the whole truth regarding his return to lovely Pittsburgh.  He told me about the critic and evidently he's now decided that his whole career is ruined.  I imagine that is why he has decided that he can't paint.  A sort of self -fulfilling prophecy."  


"So you know about the critic?"  


"Indeed.  But now it's your turn to tell me about the latest drama."  


"I'm not exactly sure, but I think he's decided he can't paint, doesn't have any talent and that moving back here was a mistake.  Well, not exactly a mistake, because he's with you, but a mistake because he can't paint any better here than he did in New York."  


Brian listened intently, wanting to alternately shake Justin and make him see reason and hurt that his partner was in such pain.  "Does he know you're here?"  


Shaking her head and frowning she said, "No.  He would kill me if he knew.  Brian, I'm worried about him.  You're right; it is becoming a self -fulfilling prophecy.  He says he can't paint and now he can't.  He can't keep this up if he's going to have a show in a month.  He's got to be ready and if he's not then Carol really will drop him."  


Daphne took her phone out of her purse and looked at the time.  "Shit.  I told him I had an errand to run and I would be there in an hour and a half.  It's almost that time now and it's a half hour to Britin."  


"You were headed out there?"  


"I didn't tell you.  He called me- gave me some lame excuse about coming into the city to buy clams for linguini- said he should do something useful today so he was going to cook."  


"Whenever he makes linguini with clams, he makes this great garlic bread from scratch- uses a bread machine.  He appears to be cooking rather than painting.  Guess he feels he can be a success at that."  


Brian stood up and walked to his desk, clicking on his calendar and reviewed his appointments for the next few days.  Mentally checking all the appointments, he pushed the button and asked Ted to come in his office.  Daphne watched Brian, unclear what his plan was but trusting that this was the right move, even if Justin was angry.  They couldn't let him throw his art away.  


"Ted, something has come up.  I need you to handle all the meetings for the remainder of the week.  I should be back by early next week."  


"Sure thing, Bri." Ted looked at Daphne, sitting on the couch, but didn't say anything to her.  He decided that this involved Justin and where Justin was concerned, Brian would do anything for his partner.  He nodded at her and left to review the files that Brian had handed him.   


"Brian?" Daphne asked, not sure she had any real clue what he had in mind, but was thankful it appeared that he had a plan.  


"I have an idea."  


"How can I help?"  


"Go on out to the house, eat lunch with him, and I'll be there in a little while.  I have some phone calls to make."  


"Okay."  Daphne pulled out her phone and called Justin.  "Hey.  I'm still in the city.  Did you call in the pizza yet?"  


"No, not yet.  I was making the dough for the garlic bread.  I'll do it now. See you in a bit."  


Daphne looked at Brian as she clicked off her phone.  "He was making dough for garlic bread.  You were right.  Brian, I hope your idea works or we are going to be in trouble.  We've got to fix this."  


"We will.  Now go.  I'm a busy man," he said tongue in cheek.   


Brian watched Daphne leave and he ran his hand through his hair several times.  _Sunshine.  I love you but sometimes you are the biggest drama princess in the world.  I guess it's time that the King of drama takes over._  


   
   
TBC


	46. Whispered Words of Encouragement

The drive to the country was quick; no traffic snarled her trek at that hour of the day.  As she drove, she wondered what Justin would do about transportation.  While she really didn't mind going out to the estate as it afforded her a substantial block of time where she was not hounded by "musts", she knew that the lack of transportation was a huge barrier for Justin.  It didn't matter if he painted or had to get a job, he would need reliable transportation.  


The pizza was ready when Daphne arrived and she brought it to the house where Justin answered the door covered in a fine dusting of flour.  


 "I thought you were a painter, not a baker," she said as she kissed him on the cheek and handed him the hot pie.  "Let's eat, I'm starving."  


They went into the kitchen and Justin took out plates and napkins as well as two Pepsis from the fridge.  He placed two pieces on each plate and took a bite of one of his pieces.  He ate in silence.   


"When are you going to convince Brian to get you a car?  Traipsing out to the boonies to eat lunch with you takes half a day," she teased, hoping to lighten the mood that was threatening to engulf them in its darkness.  Justin didn't respond, but just took another bite.  


"It must be a real pain to have to go all the way into Pittsburgh with Brian or the car service when you need something.  I bet if you asked Brian, he'd figure a way to get you a car.  After all, he did agree to support you and I can't imagine that being stuck out here is fun."  She took another bite of her pizza, hoping he would say something to her attempts at conversing.   


"I guess he will have to get a car or something.  I'll have to have a way to get to work." He half swallowed the last word and she had to strain to be sure she heard him correctly.  


"What are you talking about?  You have a gorgeous studio that Brian built for you right upstairs."  


"Don't really need a studio if I can't paint."  He looked down at his empty plate and reached for another piece of pizza rather than look at her.  


"You told me last week that you paint every day," she said reminding him of their conversation.   


"It's all crap.  There isn't one piece up there that is any good.  I guess I was fooling everyone when I thought I could paint."  


"Justin Cole Taylor.  Stop this self-deprecating talk.  You are a talented artist.  Maybe you are just going through a dry spell.  Everyone has creative blocks."  


Shaking his head in defiance of her words, he said, "But this is different.  There is absolutely nothing of value in that studio and when I have to go see Carol in a week, she will drop me in a minute.  I guess all the worrying I did about the critic telling her about my exotic dancing was for nothing.  I was right after all."  


All the pieces started to come together and she chastised herself for not seeing the problem before.  He decided that he was not going to be successful as someone was going to find out about the dancing.  To prevent from being embarrassed, he had talked himself into not being able to paint.  It was so classic.  How could she have missed it?  


"So you didn't paint the piece in Kinnetik's entrance?"  


"I did paint it."  


"And what about all those paintings that are going to be hung at Bretano's in a few weeks.  Did your doppelganger paint them?"  


"No.  I painted them.  But Daph, I haven't painted anything of worth in so long.  It's like those were flukes."  
Daphne finished her pizza, trying to figure out where to go with this conversation.  She knew that confronting Justin wasn't going to work.  He needed to come to the realization that he was just being a drama princess and that his talent was still there.  She fervently wished Justin was not so stubborn.  They wouldn't be in this predicament if he had just allowed Brian to give him money so he could support himself and have time to paint.  Then again, she knew that was part of the guilt that Justin was already feeling, and there was no way he was up to working past that right now; she'd known him long enough and well enough to know that in this pessimistic drama princess mode nothing was going to help. Well, except maybe Brian, the only person she knew to be able to pull Justin out of himself.  


"Brian is going to be so furious when he finds out what a fraud I am.  I don't doubt he won't have anything to do with me.  It was fine when I was potentially going to be on his level, an artist, and could bring in money to the household, but I doubt he will want to have me as a partner if I'm a worthless sham."  


Brian took that moment to come into the kitchen and shook his head at the depths of delusion Justin was experiencing.   


"Daphne, what a pleasant surprise.  I wasn't expecting you here this afternoon."  


Hearing Brian's voice, Justin turned in his seat to see Brian walking through the garage door.  "What are you doing home?  Are you okay?  Did someone die?"  


Brian moved toward Justin to give him a quick kiss on the lips.  "Such a pessimist.  No, no one died.  My dick was missing your ass, so I came home.  Work was boring."   


Daphne laughed.  "Brian, only you could come up with such a reason to play hooky."  


"I'll have you know, it has been a whole 6 hours since I got blown and that is just unacceptable," Brian said with such a straight face, Daphne had to giggle again.  


"Well, I guess that is my cue to leave.  I'll let your cock and Justin's mouth get reacquainted."  Daphne grabbed her purse and smiled at them.  "Brian, can I talk to you about my opening.  I didn't get a chance this week.  That is if your cock can hold out for a few more minutes."  


"Sure.  I have the materials on my computer in my office."  Looking at Justin, "Don't just sit there looking gorgeous, get that bubble butt of yours up to our bedroom and take your clothes off."  


Justin shook his head and laughed.  His laugh made both Brian and Daphne happy since it had been a while since they heard that sound.  


"Make it quick."  


Brian turned to Daphne after Justin headed upstairs. He made sure he couldn't hear Justin's footsteps before  he addressed her. "I assume you're going to fill me in on your conversation."  


"Brian.  We're right. He is convinced that he can't paint and what's worse, he's talking this stupid nonsense that you're going to be mad, maybe kick him out since he isn't on par with you financially."  


Brian raised his eyebrows and ran his hand through his hair.  "Drama princess.  That man will be the death of me yet." Brian sighed and breathed deeply before continuing. "I've got it covered, though.  Now, thank you for coming to my office, but I have a bubble butt to plow and then a partner to whip into shape."   


Daphne hugged Brian and he allowed it without any comment.  She quietly left the house and fervently hoped Brian could wave his magic wand and fix this.  


Brian locked the doors and smiled as he walked up the stairs.  If everything was as it should be, Justin should be spread out on the bed waiting for him.  He needed to show the lad who was boss and he owed him a good spanking.  He'd been remiss in his promise to punish Justin for his histrionics and it seems that really Justin had put them on a shelf, and not even far back on the shelf.  He'd managed to move all his neurosis and self-flagellations to the forefront and now was convinced that he was doomed as an artist before he even started.  


Brian walked into the room, eyeing Justin on the bed and walked over to the nightstand and took out the handcuffs and eye mask.  Without a word, he placed a fur lined cuff on each leg and clipped it into the hidden clamps on the inside of the post.  They enjoyed some light bondage play and found these hidden clamps wonderful for attaching the cuffs. They were also conveniently hidden so the housekeeper never noticed them.  Justin grinned as the second leg cuff was clipped and put out his wrist for the cuff that Brian would place there.  Brian silently put both cuffs in place and then placed the eye mask on Justin's eyes.  He was now truly laid open and bare for Brian to toy with.   


"I thought you said you wanted a blow job."  


Brian reached under the bed and got out their leather whip and gently flicked it over Justin's nipples.   


"Now quiet. I told you that I would punish you for your histrionics a few weeks ago, but I thought I'd let it slide since you appeared to be painting and doing what you needed to do." He flicked the whip again and Justin moaned with a mixture of pleasure and surprise.  


Justin didn't say anything but he felt his cock stiffen at the second blow to his nipple.  Trusting Brian was easy when it came to sex play.  They didn't often tie each other up but when they did, it made for some mind blowing sex.  Giving over your body to your partner was the most erotic and fulfilling experience.  Sex was always good for them, great in fact.  The day that sex stopped being fantastic would be the day they were doomed.  Justin tried to relax and give in to Brian, but it was hard when his cock was screaming at him for more.  


"You're very good at saying yes even when you don't agree.  I should know better than think that one short conversation would alter your thinking.  Guess my memory of the Justin Taylor manual had a few blank pages."  Brian leaned down and kissed Justin, lightly ghosting his tongue over his lips.   


Justin opened his mouth to slide his tongue over Brian's and Brian stepped away.  Justin started to protest but thought better of it; this was part of the game. Brian was running the show and he didn't get to have a say in matters, at least at this point in the game.  


"But it appears that I was wrong, so now you will be punished and maybe this time you will believe me when I tell you that no one cares that you were a dancer to earn your living.  I told you that the critic/stalker wasn't going to say anything because then he would have to admit stalking you- a no win situation for both of you."  Brian took the whip and caressed Justin's cock with the soft leather strips and then lightly flicked the strips across the sensitive shaft.  Justin flinched slightly but a drop of precum could be seen pearling at the tip.  


Brian licked a trail from his knee to his perineum, lightly touching the same space with his fingers as it followed the wet trail.  He repeated the trail in reverse on the other leg.  After completing the circuit two more times, he sat up and flicked the leather strips across Justin's inner thigh several times.  Blindfolded, Justin wasn't expecting the sharp sting and let out a gasp.  


Brian flicked the strips over his cock a few more times, gently enough to sting but not hard enough to cause redness or pain.  Then he bent down with an open mouth and engulfed Justin's sensitive head, laving it with warm moisture.  As he flicked his tongue on the sensitive slit, he used his hand to slide along the shaft, bringing Justin pleasure.  


"More," Justin urged quietly as he knew that any words would most likely result in additional exquisite pleasure rather than the release he really desired.  


"Ah Ah."  Brian said in response.  "No words from you." He picked up the vibrator that he'd grabbed and turned it on as he placed it on Justin's perineum.  The vibrator was shaped like a cock, one of their favorite toys. Grabbing the lube, he flipped it open and then removed the vibrator from Justin's perineum and put the lube on it.  


"You know what happens when you don't do like you are told?"  


"Yes."  


"Say it.  I want to make sure you understand the consequences."  


"I'm punished.  You get to do whatever you want to me."  


Brian leaned down and kissed Justin hard on the lips as he pushed the vibrator into his ass. Justin let out a hiss at the surprise intrusion but lay quietly as his body adjusted to the object.  


"You are a very gifted artist.  Now say it," Brian said as he pulled the vibrator out about half way.  


"I'm a gifted artist," Justin said as he tried to urge Brian to push the vibrator back in his body.  


"Now say it like you believe it.  You tried to fool me before, but not this time."  Brian pushed the vibrator in and turned it on, causing Justin to moan in pleasure.  


"I'm .... A....gifted....artist."  


"Good.  Now gifted artists create beautiful pieces.  What kind of pieces do you create?"  Brian left the vibrator in Justin and flicked the whip across Justin's shaft and then across his nipples several times.  The stimulation of the vibrating dildo and the whip threatened to push Justin over the edge.  


"Be....u....ti....ful," Justin pushed out the word as he tried to settle his body from all the stimulation.  He was desperate to come, but Brian had neglected his cock and it seemed to get harder, so hard he thought he would burst.  


Brian touched the tip of Justin's slit and this was enough for Justin to shoot ropes of come high in the air.  
"AAAAhhhh Brian," he yelled.  


Brian leaned down and softly kissed Justin on the lips and caressed his cheek.   


"Have you learned your lesson?"  


Justin nodded his head in agreement.  "Yes. Please."  


Brian understood the please.  He uncuffed Justin's legs and then pulled the vibrator out, but replaced it with his cock.  


Justin was sated and pliant, placing his legs on Brian's back to allow for deeper penetration.  Brian loved Justin's body immediately after he'd come, especially after he'd come from one of their sessions.  Justin didn't hold back when they made love, but after they played, his mind set was even more trusting, more open.  For that reason, Brian had chosen to "play" to get his point across.  Justin needed to understand the impact of his actions and when he was so open and trusting as he was during their "play" Brian's words appeared to be more persuasive.  Brian used Justin's vulnerability to get his point across and he hoped this time Justin got the message.   


Brian came quickly, the excitement and stimulation of seeing his partner in such a position had him so ready to come that it only took a few strokes to bring him to climax. He lay there on top of Justin until his heart rate returned to normal, kissing his neck gently and inhaling his unique scent.  When he slipped out of his favorite place, he rolled over and grabbed the towel to wipe him and Justin off.  He uncuffed Justin's wrists and placed the cuffs and whip back in their respective places.  Closing his eyes, he allowed his body to rest.  Curling around Justin's back, he placed his arm around his waist and pulled the blanket over them where they took a short respite from the world.  


Brian had set the alarm for 5:00 and when it went off he was surprised to find he'd been asleep.  They had much to do before 9:00.  He kissed Justin awake as well.  


"Time to get up, sleepy head.  Not only have you been not painting, you evidently haven't been sleeping either.  Go pack your suitcase. We have a plane to catch."  


Justin shot up in bed and shook his head to clear it, thinking he hadn't heard correctly.  "A plane.  What the fuck?  Where are we going?"  


"Yes a plane.  We already fucked, but if you insist, I could let you give me a quick blow job.  We are going to New York."  


"New York?"  


"Yes, Justin.  New York.  So if you're going to give me that blow job, you better do it quickly. Our plane leaves at 9:00 and that gives us only a couple hours till we have to leave."  


Justin laughed at Brian's playfulness but decided that a blow job sounded like a good idea.  He dove under the covers and quickly gave Brian a blow job.  He was very adept at this skill, having used it almost daily whenever they were in the same city and oftentimes more than once a day now that they were living together.  As Brian would often tell him, he was a master at that skill but only because he was trained by Brian himself.  Anyone who really thought about that statement would be slightly taken aback as most people didn't think of Brian giving blow jobs, but rather as the recipient, but obviously that was not the case.  


After the blow job a quick shower was in order but they refrained from full intercourse and settled on quick hand jobs.  They dressed and packed their suitcases and were on their way to the airport in under 90 minutes.   


"Why are we going to New York?  I was just there.  Does this have anything to do with the apartment?  If so, do you really think it is a good idea to move forward with it until we see how my paintings are."  


Brian shook his head and wondered if he was ever going to get through to Justin.  He hoped their little "play" session had been successful but evidently Justin had really ingrained his lack of confidence.   


"What did I tell you earlier?" he said very slowly and carefully as if talking to a child.  


"You said.... Oh, right.  I have beautiful pictures."  Justin smiled when he thought of their activities earlier in the day.  


"Right.  Now what did you say about your work?"  


"They are beautiful pictures."  


"Good boy."  Brian leaned over and gave him a loving kiss on the lips.  "We have reservations at the Hotel Chelsea; it's near Carol's office."  


"Carol's office," Justin said as he repeated what Brian said with a soft voice.  


"Yes, Carol's office.  We have an appointment there in the morning at 9:30."  


"Okay."  Justin swallowed hard.   


******  
The plane ride was uneventful and they arrived at their hotel around 11:00.  Justin paced the hotel room like a caged animal, alternating looking out the window and attempting to sit on the couch.  Brian was getting frustrated with him as his anger rose at himself for not seeing Justin's increasing anxiety over the last few weeks.  He vowed to pay more attention to his partner and his work.  Thankful that Daphne had come to him, he was grateful for her friendship with Justin and him.  He would never have believed that he would be in a relationship, much less rely on his partner's friends as much as he relied on her.  


"Justin.  Stop pacing.  Have a drink.  Get in the hot tub. It's only a meeting."  


"But Carol will see...."  


"A talented artist."  Brian walked over to Justin and wrapped his arms around his torso from behind.  "She will not see anything different than she did three weeks ago. She saw a talented artist when she signed you and that hasn't changed."   


He led Justin to the bathroom where he undressed him as the tub filled with water.  Undressing himself, he got into the tub and Justin joined him. Brian lay against the white porcelain and Justin sat against his torso.  Brian grabbed the loofah and ran it softly over Justin's skin as he whispered in his ear.  "Relax. I'm here and I'll catch you if you fall."  


Soon the warmth and Brian's soothing words relaxed Justin and he closed his eyes and his breathing evened out.  Brian held him, listening to his breathing.  He thought of all the events leading up to this moment.  It seemed the car accident and amnesia were another lifetime ago when in reality it had only been three months.  Things had happened fast since then. Justin had regained his memories but also he had moved back to Pittsburgh, a show had been offered and a stalker revealed.  Hopefully the visit tomorrow would quell Justin's fears about the stalker.  He trusted his instincts and they were seldom wrong.


	47. The Explanation

Justin lay in bed cocooned in Brian's embrace.  None of their friends would believe that Brian Kinney was a cuddler, but they often slept wrapped around each other.  The sense of rightness and commitment between the two men was evidenced even in their sleep.  Justin didn't want to disturb Brian and lay quietly and tried in vain to get his mind to quiet as well.   


He thought about Brian's unexpected arrival at the house and realized that Daphne had talked to him.  Part of him was angry that she had done so, but he was also very thankful that his friend did what he had wanted to do for a long time.  Her unconditional love and acceptance  had led her to Brian and he had done what he always did, attempt to fix whatever was wrong.  Unfortunately, Justin wondered if Brian would be able to fix the problem this time.  Brian had attempted to make his point yesterday and while Justin appreciated the session, he doubted that Brian's words were enough this time to change the outcome of his life.  For now, he would try to please Brian and do as he asked.   


"I hear you thinking," Brian said as he lay next to Justin.  


"You cannot hear me thinking that's impossible."  


"But you always tell me I'm impossible," Brian said, the teasing evident in his voice.  He kissed Justin's neck and inhaled the scent of his partner.  


"mmmm"  


"I seem to have a little problem here.  Instead of worrying about your meeting with Carol, why don't you worry about satisfying your partner?"  Brian pushed his body into Justin's back, letting him feel his morning hard on.  


Justin turned around and gave Brian a good morning kiss and then slid down under the blanket to take care of Brian's little problem.  After enjoying his morning protein, he slid up to kiss Brian, sharing a little of his cum with him.    


"Speaking of problems, I seem to have one as well.  Think you take care of it for me?"  Justin asked as he took one of Brian's hands and placed it on his cock.  


"I think that can be arranged.  I like to take care of your problems."  Brian proceeded to give a reciprocal blow job and quickly satisfied his partner. Neither commented on the obvious double meaning of Brian's words.  


They lay in bed for a few minutes and Brian pulled back the blanket.  


"What'd you do that for?"  Justin asked, trying to pull the blankets back over his body.  


"We came to New York to address some other problems you seem to be having. Can't exactly do that from the bed in our hotel room.  Time to shower and go see Carol.  She's expecting us and while she may be your agent and accepts artists eccentricities, I doubt she would want to be greeted by the smell of my cum on you."  Brian sniffed appreciatively as he gave Justin a last kiss, but smiled as he hit Justin's arm.  


Justin nodded and slowly got out of bed, sorry to see their short lived happiness come to a quick end.  


"You're walking like you're going to a firing squad.  Do I have to remind you again of our little discussion yesterday?"  Brian said as he watched Justin walk towards the bathroom where Brian was preparing the shower.  


"No," Justin said quietly and stepped into the shower.  


Turning around so Brian could wash his hair, he grabbed the shampoo bottle and handed it to him.   


"Talk to me, Justin. What is really going on in that blond head of yours?"  Brian popped the top of the shampoo and poured some into his hand.  


"I want you to be proud of me and I want to be your equal.  You've always been successful and ...." Justin couldn't bring himself to say the words.  Even speaking the words were too scary and he was afraid it would give Brian ideas.  


"I am proud of you."  Brian leaned down and kissed his neck.  "You were in a damn car accident less than three months ago and you didn't even know who I was and look at us now; you're living with me and we're partners."  


"But I decided to come back; didn't really give you a say in the decision."  


"How many times do we need to have this discussion?  I don't do anything that I don't want to do.  If I didn't want you living with me, you wouldn't be."  Brian turned Justin around and looked him in the eye.  "Drama Princess.  Why did I have to fall in love with the biggest Princess in Pittsburgh?"  


Justin looked at Brian and tried to process what he'd just heard.  Brian said he loved him. He opened his mouth to respond and then closed it.  He stood there for what seemed like 5 minutes but was probably only 20 seconds.   He knew he was treading on thin ground as it was, but he decided he had to know.  


"You love me?"  Justin's voice was soft, filled with awe.  


"Twat.  Of course, I love you.  I wouldn't be here if I didn't; I'd be in Pittsburgh running Kinnetik; you know the business that supports your lavish lifestyle."  


"You love me."  Justin repeated himself, allowing the words and feelings to sink in.  


Shaking his head and grabbing the loofah to wash Justin's skin, he smiled at his partner.  "Sometimes I wonder if you paid someone to take your SAT's because you seem to come to the most bizarre conclusions and you can't see the obvious even when it is right in front of you."   


"Thank you."  


"While I just love to have these little enlightening talks, we need to get out of here."  Brian handed Justin the loofah and turned off the water.  "Let's try something novel, shall we?"  


Justin waited for Brian's directions.  


"Listen to me and believe in yourself.  You're a talented and gifted man.  I wouldn't be here if I didn't think it was worth our time.  And yes, that is OUR time.  I know you are going places in this world and you just have to get over these unfounded fears."  Brian slapped Justin's ass.  "Now go get dressed and put on something besides your cargo pants.   I'm going to order breakfast and call Ted."  


Justin's fears weren't quite relieved, but hearing Brian's confidence and reassurance in him, them, their partnership and love certainly helped him feel better. He got dressed in pair of navy blue pants and a white shirt, conservative and boring but he really never did care what he looked like, clothes being Brian's forte, not his.  He could hear Brian talking on the phone, but did not try to hear the conversation; not only was it rude, but it was most likely Kinnetik business and something he did not need to know.   


The knock on the door reminded him that breakfast was coming and he opened it to let in the delivery person.  After tipping him he wheeled the cart into the main area of the sitting room of the suite and opened the containers to see what Brian had ordered them.  He quickly placed their dishes on the table in their room; the white egg omelet for Brian and the pancakes and scrambled eggs for himself.  He poured Brian some coffee, giving it time to cool off and poured himself some orange juice.  He waved at Brian to tell him the food was here and Brian waved back for him to start eating.  The smell of the food made Justin realize he hadn't eaten since the pizza the afternoon before and he was hungry.  Digging into the pancakes, he ate half of them before Brian joined him.  


Brian finished his omelet and toast and after pouring cream and two sugars into his coffee he drank it.  Brian watched Justin eat his pancakes and as usual marveled at his ability to consume so much food and rarely work out.  They finished and wheeled the cart out in the hall.  


"Let's go."  


"Can't we just hole up in here and have sex all day.  It would be more fun?"  Justin teased, although he was half serious.  


"Nope.  I promise to fuck you to the mattress when we're done with Carol."  Brian gave Justin a  chaste kiss, but pulled away before they could go farther.  


"Promise?"  Justin sighed as he realized that this time the promise of all day sex was not going to sway Brian.  
"If you behave, you will be rewarded," Brian said tongue in cheek. Brian watched Justin as he walked out of the hotel room and carefully closed the door behind them.   


Grabbing a cab to Carol's office, they were both silent and looked out at the passing New York views. They arrived at Carol's office and Justin had a hard time looking at Brian.  Brian took his chin in his hand and turned his head toward him.  


"You paint beautiful pictures and you are a gifted and talented man." Brian kissed him before they walked into the suite.  


Walking up to the assistant, Brian said, "Justin Taylor to see Ms. Clark."  


The assistant looked at her appointment log and saw the name penciled in. Picking up the phone, she rang Carol and announced Justin's arrival.   


Carol came out a few minutes later, walking to Justin and giving him a light kiss on his cheek.  "Justin, Brian.  Come in.  Come in."  She waved them toward her office where she sat at a small white table with several chairs around it.  Pouring a glass of water for herself, nodded toward the pitcher and both men poured a glass for themselves.  


After taking a sip of the water, she looked at Justin and said, "Good to see you, Justin.  I didn't expect you until next week.  Brian called and said it was important that we meet.  Is something wrong?"  


Justin looked at Brian, the glare in his eyes could have burned right through his partner if that were possible.  Looking at Carol, he found that he couldn't voice his concerns in front of her and instead picked up the glass and twirled it as he looked down at the table.     


"Justin?" Carol asked again, with a mix of curiosity and concern.  


Opening his mouth to speak, he closed it and just stared at the table.  


"Does this have anything to do with the accident?  I thought you assured me that you were fine?"  Carol looked at Brian as Justin didn't appear to me making any attempt at eye contact.  


"No.  Justin is fine."  Brian reached out his hand and stopped Justin from playing with the glass.  "Justin....  "  When Justin didn't look at Brian, he said, "If you're not going to tell her, then I will."  


Brian waited for Justin to acknowledge his statement, looked for a shrug or even a change in facial expression, but Justin continued to look at the table, transfixed by the glass.   


"Will someone please tell me what this is about?  Brian, you called and said it was important that we meet.  If this isn't about the accident, then tell me what is going on.  Are you backing out, Justin?  I hope not, you are one of the most promising artists I have seen in a very long time."  Her voice rose an octave as she felt a gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach.  She knew that new artists were often difficult and demanding, but she sensed this was something different.   


Brian and Carol waited for Justin to say something, but the continued quiet in the room was deafening.  


"Justin doesn't think he can paint."  Brian said the statement without any further explanation.  He hoped that Carol would immediately balk at the statement and he would not have to pull all the stops, but he knew Justin and had seen him in the last few days.  Unfortunately, the drama princess was quickly becoming a major drama queen, and would soon be having a major queen out if his faulty line of thinking was not nipped in the bud.  


"What?  That's the craziest thing I ever heard.  Of course, you can paint.  Why would you think that has changed?"  Carol let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.  While she thought she had seen it all, this was a first.  She'd never represented someone who questioned their talent.  It was usually the opposite; they felt they were a gift to the art world, going to turn it on its head.  When in reality few artists made lasting impressions, most having only moderate success.  She felt Justin's talent was different and was floored by Brian's statement.   


"I just... I can't," Justin whispered.  


"You can't what?"  Carol asked.  She was truly baffled by the conversation.  She'd known Justin was young and inexperienced but she had known talent when she first saw his work.   


"Paint."  


Carol looked at Brian for assistance.  The conversation was going nowhere and she realized that she needed to resolve this issue or she would have a major problem when the show came up next month.  She had been so pleased with the feedback from the three critics and was excited to bring Justin out to the art world.  


"The three critics that interviewed you and saw a preview of your work absolutely loved the few pieces I showed them.  When Brian called yesterday and set up the meeting, he asked that I call Tim Callen and set up an interview with him. He told me about your conversation and that Tim had asked to interview him.  Since he would be here, it seemed perfect.  I wasn't sure Tim could do this on short notice, but luckily he was available. In fact, I was just talking to him last week and he said he looked forward to meeting you, Brian, and discussing Justin's work.  I haven't seen him this excited about a new artist in a long time.  I really appreciate your willingness to further Justin's career by offering your time for an interview."  


Justin sat up and looked Carol in the eye, his glaze like a deer in the head lights of a car.  The look of horror in his eyes surprised Carol.  Many of her new artists didn't like critics and worried what they would say, but she had already told Justin that the critics loved him and that Tim wanted to interview his partner about his work.  This should have put Justin at ease, not make him want to flee the room, and she sensed his flight posture.  


"We have to go.  Now!!!  Brian, let's go."  Justin stood up from the table and walked quickly to the door, putting his hand on the handle.  


Brian walked to the door and removed Justin's hand.  Placing his hand on Justin's back, he firmly led Justin back to the table and gently pushed him to sit down in his chair.  


Carol watched the interaction between the two men and was even more confused.  There was obviously something going on and she had no idea what that something could be.  Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was about the time she told Tim Callen to arrive to interview Brian.  She only had a short time to figure out what the issue was.  


"I'll ask again.  Will someone please tell me what is going on?  If it is not the accident, then what is it?  You have 10 minutes to explain and then Tim Callen will be here for the interview.  I can have Lisa, my assistant, stall him for a few minutes, but he is a busy man and can't wait forever."  


Justin looked at Brian and nodded his head.  "Brian...."   


The unspoken words in that short communication really demonstrated how far they had come as a couple.  Brian understood that Justin needed Brian to do the talking in this situation and trusted Brian to watch him so he didn't fall too far.  


"It's complicated."  


"I already figured that much out."  


Brian poured some more water in his glass, postponing this little reveal a few more minutes.  


"Carol..."  


"I can't stay here.  I'm going to wait in the reception area."  Justin pushed his chair back and started to walk towards the door again.  


Again, Brian intercepted him.  "You need to stay.  Hear what Carol has to say.  You're never going to believe me if you don't hear it with your own two ears."  Brian reached out his hand toward Justin and Justin grabbed it, squeezing it.  Brian squeezed back and continued to hold on to Justin, grounding him and giving him his support as he began his explanation.  


"Justin really struggled with his painting when he came to New York.  He wanted to support himself but that meant he had little time to paint as he was frequently working.  When he did have time to paint, he was exhausted."  


Carol shook her head in understanding, having seen this happen with many young professionals, whether they were painters or involved in the theatrical arts.  She understood the necessity of supporting yourself while trying to get started in your career.  


"Justin's friend helped him solve his problem when he hooked him up with an exotic dance company. They performed for birthday parties, bachelorette and bachelor parties."  Brian squeezed Justin's hand telling him he was there and was okay.  He knew the next part would be tricky and had been rehearsing what he would say at this critical juncture.  


"It appears that Tim Callen was at one of these parties and approached Justin.  Justin politely declined his invitation for a drink but he remembered Tim.  When he showed up to interview Justin....."  


"Oh," Carol said as she made the connection and understood for the first time how difficult this whole situation must be for her young protégé.  "Were you worried that Tim would say something about your dancing?"  


Justin just nodded his head, but he continued to look at the table, unable to look at Carol and see the revulsion and rejection he knew would be in her eyes.  


"I can't tell you how many artists support themselves in just that way before they make it in their profession.  It's almost a given that they will either work in a club, be a dancer or sometimes as an escort.  All of those choices allow for the flexibility to hone their craft and pay their bills at the same time."  Carol explained as she smiled at Brian.  She started to put her hand out to touch Justin on the hand, give him a reassuring squeeze, but a quick look at Brian's slight shake of his head stopped her comforting gesture.  


Brian waited a minute to let Carol's words sink in, hoping that hearing her reassurance would be the catalyst for him to believe in himself again. He watched as Justin lifted the water glass and took a long drink from it.  Justin stopped playing with his water glass, but did not look up.  


"Justin.  See the world didn't end, twat."  Brian teased him.  "Carol is probably thankful that I called and stopped your Drama Princess act."  He wanted to lean in and give Justin a small kiss but decided he could do much better if he waited till they returned to the hotel later this morning.   


 "I'm not fired?  I thought for sure if you knew what I did then you wouldn't want me at Bretano's."  Justin finally looked up from his constant glare at the glass table.  


"No.  You're not fired.  But if you haven't been painting, I suggest you go home now and work very hard.  Your show is in a month and I expect that you will be busy prepping for the next show and maybe even painting a few commissions."  


"Thank you."  Justin smiled a tentative smile.  


Brian had enough drama for one morning and decided to change the subject. "Are you ready to go shopping?  Our apartment needs some new furnishings. And shopping here will eliminate the need to get it shipped."  


 "I guess we can go shopping since we're here."  Justin smiled a thin smile, recognizing Brian's tactics.  


Carol was relieved that the meeting appeared to go well and Justin would be returning to paint. She remembered Brian's other request. "Before you go shopping, Tim is waiting for a short interview with Brian. Do you think you could spare 15 minutes to talk to him?"  


"Sure.  I think that can be arranged."  Brian turned to Justin and said, "Why don't you stay here and talk to Carol about the show and I'll go make Mr. Callen happy?"  


Justin heard the mischief in Brian's voice and was slightly concerned, but he trusted Brian.  He really wasn't comfortable seeing the critic again; maybe after his show when he could see the reaction of the public, he might be willing to see him. But for now, he was happy to talk to Carol and let Brian handle him.  


"Sounds like a plan."   


Justin poured himself a little more water and drank half of it as he watched Brian leave the office.   


Brian walked out and saw a man sitting on the couch in the waiting room.   


"Mr. Callen.  I'm Brian Kinney and I understand we need to talk."   


 


	48. Chapter 48

   
Brian:  
   
Tim Callen stood up and walked toward Brian, reaching out his hand to shake Brian's.  Brian complied and the men stood eyeing each other for a few moments.  The assistant came around her desk and led them to the small conference room where Tim had interviewed Justin just a few weeks ago.   


"Tim, the room's yours for the next hour, but I'm afraid that's all I can give you." She unlocked the door and turned on the lights.   


"That's fine.  I promised Carol I wouldn't take much of Mr. Kinney's time."  He smiled at the assistant and motioned his hand towards the table for Brian to have a seat.  Brian seated himself at the table and waited for Tim Callen to sit down.  


Tim looked at Brian and noted the contrast between him and Justin.  Physically they were opposites in almost every way. Where Justin was short, Brian was tall and their coloring was the exact opposite as well.  He imagined they would make a stunning couple when they were out. The fact that he was here and had asked to talk with him said volumes as well.  He knew that Justin Taylor was a very talented young man and living in New York was a talent in and of itself. New York would eat you up and spit you on the sidewalk if you weren't careful.  The young artist he met a few weeks ago had a strong survival mindset.  He was anxious to interview his partner, hoping to get some additional insight into what made Justin Taylor's art so exquisite, especially for someone so young.   


Even though Brian had asked Carol to set up the interview, he doubted it was out of sheer niceness.  He needed to gain Mr. Kinney's trust and acceptance in a quick manner.  "Mr. Taylor is a very talented artist.  His use of color and texture is refreshing in today's art world.  So many new artists want to copy what others are doing.  Mr. Taylor seems to have managed to pursue his own calling."  Tim started out his interview with his praise of Justin, hoping this would encourage Brian to talk openly about Justin.   


"He is very talented.  I'm glad we agree in that area."  Brian liked what Mr. Callen had said, but was keeping his answers short and to the point.  He didn't want to give any opening for questions he didn't want to answer.  


"He told me you were his inspiration.  What do you think he means by that statement?"  


Brian thought about his answer for a few minutes.  He wanted to reach over and pull the man by his collar and tell him to leave Justin alone, never talk to him, never approach him, but he also realized that there would be consequences to those actions.  First being, Justin would kill him or at least withhold sex until after the show.  He was already so paranoid about his abilities and if he found that Brian threatened the critic, he would most likely come to the wrong conclusion, that he was only giving him praise for his work because he was afraid of Brian.  Brian could be threatening when he needed to be and he was going to make it very clear to Mr. Tim Callen that he was never to mention Justin's dancing or approach Justin in any capacity except as a critic. The second consequence would be that Justin's talent would be overlooked as a result of the attention placed on him.  He needed to gain Tim Callen's trust while at the same time making it crystal clear that Justin was off limits except for promotional purposes.  


"I think you have to ask him that question.  I'm not going to speculate on his thinking process."  


"Ah you are a wise man," Tim said as he smiled at Brian.  "Has he always painted?  Many artists choose one outlet over another.  I'm curious if he started out with another avenue."  


"He used to draw but paints mostly now."  Brian chose not to elaborate on this question. Justin hated people knowing about the bashing and even though it didn't appear to affect him, Brian knew better, as did Justin.  When Justin's hand got tired, he had to stop or pay the price for many hours.  This was an ongoing frustration for Justin as his muse didn't stop when his hand gave out.  Brian often saw the familiar rage of frustration when his hand did not keep up with his desire.  While it had definitely improved over the years, it still plagued him and he was certain that this would always be the case.   


Brian wondered why Tim Callen was asking him these questions as they appeared to be ones that he would have asked Justin, unless Justin freaked out so much at the initial interview and he didn't ask them.  Of course, there could be another explanation; one that he didn't want to think about.  He didn't really want to think that Justin had been harassed and hounded by this man to go out with him or perform other activities that the interview never occurred.  He dismissed that idea immediately.  While it took Justin a few days to tell him the truth, he wouldn't have kept that information from Brian.  


"I'm not the renowned critic that you are, but it seems to me these are questions you would have asked Justin.  Why are you asking me?"  


"Good point.  I've found that interviewing significant people in an artist's life often gives me insight into their work.  And today is no different.  You've provided me some wonderful information regarding your partner."  


Brian raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly.  "Do tell."  


"You and Mr. Taylor have been together for a while and while neither of you will state the obvious, his paintings reflect that partnership.  He stated you are his inspiration, leading me to believe that his return to Pittsburgh was fueled by his desire to be near you.  Carol's agreement to have him come in town a few days at a time and be seen and heard is a testament to her belief in his talent and willingness to work with this unconventional arrangement."  


"I see."  Brian's refusal in denying or admitting the correctness of the statement was just as powerful as if Brian said yes.  "Go on," Brian directed, starting to admire this man, despite his connection with Justin when he was dancing.  


"You obviously know his history as an artist and again your succinct statement regarding his past history with drawing makes me wonder why he changed.  You did not elaborate on the flow from one choice to the next which leads me to believe there are some pretty specific reasons for the change, but that you don't want to share those.  


"Mr. Taylor has an intense presence on canvas.  The viewer can almost sense the feelings that emanate from each piece.  He's telling a story through his art and I imagine if you know him well enough, those paintings don't hide much. He paints because that is what he must do, just as you and I breathe, he paints.  Asking an artist what he was thinking when he made this piece or another piece is like asking why someone breathes.  I very much look forward to seeing his work and can't wait to see the entire show."  


"Mr. Callen, let me make OUR position very clear.  Justin will respond to an interview with you, but there will never, and I mean never be anything beyond an interview.  Your presence in this room had him convinced that his career was over, ruined by his dancing.  Which by the way he did to support himself so he could have time to paint."  Brian made a steeple with his hands and placed his elbows on the table as he clearly and concisely laid out his thoughts.  


"Do I make myself clear?"  


Tim Callen smiled and nodded his head.  "I never meant to make him uncomfortable.  I would never reveal how I met him.  As far as the public is concerned, I know Mr. Taylor as a critic and that is all.  His talent is too valuable to waste."  


"Good.  I'm glad that we agree.  I think this interview is over."  


"Thank you for your time, Mr. Kinney."  


"Don't thank me.  My only purpose in talking to you is to assure your interactions with Justin are limited to your critique of his work.  I could give a rat's ass about anything else."  With that statement Brian pushed his seat away from the table and walked to the door.  


Tim Callen smiled as he had garnered so much from these short 15 minutes.  Justin had a partner that was fiercely protective of him and there was so much more to Justin Taylor than being a talented artist.  He wondered about the change in mediums, thought there was more to that story, but decided he wouldn't pursue it at this time.  Carol had made it very clear.  Justin Taylor was golden and she expected great things from him.  She was rarely wrong and the interview with his partner made Tim reaffirm that opinion.  Mr. Kinney was just as fierce and ruthless as Justin Taylor.  Justin Taylor would have to have a strong personality to partner with such a man.  His admiration of the young artist grew and he could not wait for the full show.  He had a feeling the write up from that show would be the talk of the town for many weeks after its premier.  


   
   
Justin:  


   


Carol watched Brian leave and studied Justin for a few moments.  He was a very talented young man but there was a vulnerability about him that made him a little different.  The first time she met him, she noticed it.  It wasn't the insecurity of an undiscovered artist, but rather a young man who believed in his art but had experienced setbacks.  Even that did not correctly portray this young man who sat at her table. She was an agent, and she knew that every artist experienced setbacks, disappointments and failures.  This was something different.  While Brian, his partner, was talking with Tim Callen, she thought she'd use the time to get to know her client a little more.  


"Brian is very protective of you.  I was surprised when he called.  Not many partners would have done that."  


Justin bristled at the statement and the unspoken message that he needed protection. "Yes, Brian is protective, but I can fend for myself."  Justin stated very firmly.  He sat up straight in his chair and said in a very strong voice, "I'm fully capable of handling things myself, but he's always been there for me and especially these last few months."  Justin looked directly at Carol, his eyes almost piercing right through her, willing her not to question his convictions. He didn't want her thinking that he couldn't stand up for himself.  He hoped his words set her straight.  


"I know you can stand up for yourself, Justin.  You would have never made it this far unless you were your own best advocate.  I'm just commenting how I'm beginning to understand why you wanted to return to Pittsburg.  The accident must have been very difficult for you and I'm sure Brian was a great source of comfort.  I can't imagine what you must have gone through.  Losing your memory and having to remember your life."  


He heard her concern and genuine distress at his situation. Justin relaxed a little in his chair, lessening the straight back and softening his shoulders.  Still he was on alert.  "It was.  I didn't even know I was an artist for a while and then I wanted Brian to show me where I painted.  I can't even imagine what it must have been like for him.  He'd seen me hurt before, but this time I didn't remember much about the last few years."  


"You were hurt before?"  Carol was surprised by this information.  She didn't always know a lot about her clients, especially early on in the relationship.  As she gained their trust, they often shared many pieces of their lives, both past and present.  Sometimes she felt that she should have a degree in Psychology in addition to her training in artistic management.  


Justin forgot that not everyone knew about the bashing.  While he wasn't trying to be evasive with Carol, he didn't really feel like explaining about that time in his life, but knew that since he made the comment he would have to say something.  


"When I was in high school, I was bashed.  I had to learn to use my hand all over again.  At first the doctors said I would never be able to use it, never be able to paint."  


Carol raised her hand to her mouth in horror. "How terrible!!  That explains a lot.  No wonder you didn't say anything about the accident.  It would have been like reliving your worst nightmare."  


"After the accident, I didn't remember much of the last few years, had to work on regaining my memories. When I finally remembered that I painted it seemed a little surreal."  


Carol thought about the implications of such a devastating accident.  How cruel it would have been for Justin to be at the start of his career and not remember his talent?  "I'm so glad that you did remember.  The world would have lost a great artist."  


"Thank you."  


"Don't thank me.  I'm not the talent here, you are.  It's rare to find someone so young and gifted like you, Justin. I'm sure your earlier adversity impacted your painting."  Carol said as she mulled over the information Justin had provided.  


Watching Justin share these few precious memories and discuss his struggles gave her insight into why they were here today.  Justin had obviously overcome two horrible accidents to get to this point in his career and when he thought his actions might have risked that success, it would have been devastating.  


"Most artists have other jobs to support themselves until they break into their field.  You're not unique in that area and it's an unspoken rule that agents don't ask and their clients don't tell."  


Justin looked at Carol as she spoke, trying to judge her sincerity.  "You're really okay with my history of dancing?"  


"I don't care what you did in the past.  I only care what you do now.  And I hope that means that you are going to go home and paint.  Your show is in a little more than a month and I know you will be the talk of the town."  


Brian chose that moment to come in, looking for Justin and very ready to move on to the more pleasurable parts of their day.  "Ready? We have some shopping to do." He didn't apologize for his interruption, feeling that Justin's needs to leave were his current priority, now that he'd taken care of the Tim Callen situation.  


 "Thank you."  Thankful for the interruption as he had revealed more than he expected; Justin nodded his head toward Carol.   Justin wanted to put a little more closure to his conversation with Carol, but he recognized Brian in take charge mode.  


 "Just remember, you need to go home and paint.  I can't have my star artist have nothing to display at his next show," she said, even though she knew Justin was aware of the situation.  She recognized both their needs to finish this meeting and stood up to shake both their hands.  


"I'll make sure he is painting."  After shaking her hand, Brian placed his hand on Justin's back and propelled him out the door.  


Neither man spoke until they were out of the building and Brian was hailing a cab.  They entered the back seat and Brian gave the cabbie the address of their hotel.  He leaned back his head against the seat and sighed in relief.  


"So I take it you are itching to return to Britin so you can paint again?"  


"Well I do want to return, but we are in the city and I promised you we could go shopping.  The apartment will be ready in a few weeks and it won't be acceptable for us to have nowhere to sleep," Justin said, tongue in cheek.  


"Twat."  


"But I'm your twat," Justin laughed.  


"Yes, you are.  How'd things go with Carol after I left?"  


"Good.  I told her about the bashing.  It seemed the right thing to do.  Maybe that will help her understand why I was so sure I couldn't paint."  


Justin leaned over and gave Brian a big kiss on the lips.  Brian seemed relaxed; therefore he figured that the meeting went well.  "How'd your meeting go?"  


"Excellent.  Did you have any doubts?"  


"No.  You're the great god, Brian Kinney."  Justin laughed again.  


"I just made sure he understood that you were unavailable for anything but interviews."  


"I hope you didn't threaten him," Justin asked nervously.  


"No, I was very professional.  I told him under no circumstances were you available to do anything but sit for an interview.  He got the message loud and clear."  


"Brian the cave man.  I kind of like that vision."  


"Well, just my luck, we have arrived at our hotel.  I'd put you over my shoulder and carry you to the room but I think we would get too many weird looks."  


Grinning, Justin nodded his head in agreement.  "I think you're right, but once we get to the room, you can put me over your shoulder in your best imitation."  


"I just might do that."  


They arrived at the hotel a few minutes later and walked as quickly to the elevator as possible.  After punching the button for their floor, the elevator thankfully closed with the two of them the only occupants.  Brian turned Justin toward him, pulled him in close and devoured his mouth.  As the elevator dinged, announcing their arrival, they pulled away from each other reluctantly and almost ran to their room.  


Justin used his key card to unlock the door and Brian picked him up and threw him over his shoulder.  Justin laughed hysterically at his antics.  


"Put me down.  I was only kidding when I told you that you were my caveman."  


"Mine," Brian grunted as he walked to the bed and threw Justin on top of the blankets.  "Housekeeping is very efficient and has already cleaned the room.  Maybe we should just go shopping," Brian said tongue in cheek.  


Justin recognized Brian's teasing and instead of responding he undid the button on his pants and quickly divested himself of the offending material.  Pulling his shirt off, he went straight to his chest and started circling the brown nipples. Looking at Brian, he saw his pants start to tent and watched with eager anticipation as he undressed quickly as well.  


Once Brian was naked, he pounced on the bed and quickly climbed on top of Justin, enveloping him in his embrace.  Inhaling his scent further aroused him and he could feel his cock push up against Justin's smooth skin. Normally he did not like hickeys and forbid Justin to mark him always saying that he was a professional business man and it would not do to have a hickey like some young kid. Today, he needed to claim his property; not that Justin was his property, but he needed to mark him, make him his, let the world know that Justin Taylor was his partner.  Placing his mouth on Justin's neck he gently sucked the succulent flesh and Justin tilted his neck to allow easy access.  Justin understood Brian's need, especially after talking to Tim Callen and it made him happy that Brian was who he was.  Sometimes it was nice to be fought over.  


Justin pushed his cock into Brian's abdomen, enjoying the friction between their bodies.  Wrapping his arms around Brian's back he pulled his body toward him, enjoying the feeling of being enveloped by Brian.   


"I want you inside me," Justin whispered as he felt his pulse quicken and heard the increase in his breathing.  Justin felt Brian pull away for a moment as he hunted for the condoms they always kept on a nightstand.  Safety was always paramount in their relationship even at the very beginning. Not only did Brian help him now, he'd always wanted him safe and did everything in his power from the beginning to ensure his safety.  


Brian tore open the condom and gave it to Justin to place on his cock; one of the many rituals that hadn't changed through the years.  It was an unspoken role, a way for Justin to know that Brian wouldn't put him in jeopardy by going bareback and a way for Brian to know that he was protecting Justin from all the other guys he tricked with.  He found the small tube of lube and prepared Justin as well.   


"Now," Justin demanded when he was about to explode from the stimulation of Brian's fingers in his ass.  


Brian removed his fingers and plunged in swiftly into the tight channel.  This was not lovemaking but territorial and both men recognized it.  Sometimes sex was about solidifying the bond between two people and sometimes it was solace for the soul. Today it was a statement that they belonged to each other and both understood the union.  It was fast, quick and satisfying for both of them and afterwards Brian reluctantly slid off Justin to remove the condom.  


Justin sighed unknowingly at the loss of his partner and lay quietly as his heart rate returned to normal.  Leaning on his side, he looked at Brian, slightly sweaty from their recent exertions, hair a mess and a large smile on his face. He didn't comment on the smile, he understood its origins and he felt the same way.  Instead he kissed Brian lightly on the lips and lay back on the pillow basking in post coital bliss.  


When Brian had recovered, he reached out his hand and swatted Justin on the hips and gently pushed him toward the edge of the bed.  


"Hey," Justin replied in mock indignation.  


"We have shopping to do.  Let's go shower.  We don't have all day," he teased, tongue in cheek.  Both men knew their return trip was two days away, but it served Brian's purpose to get his needs met as well as Justin's.  Justin nodded his head but didn't say anything and walked toward the bathroom where he was joined by Brian in the shower.  


As Brian and Justin washed each other in the reciprocal fashion of two people who have participated in this dance numerous times, Justin was relaxed enough to quiz Brian about his interview.  


"You said the interview went okay.  Did he get creepy?"  


"No. He was very professional.  Asked some questions about your work and your inspiration.  I was surprised that he asked me some of them.  Tell me, Justin, did he even interview that day?  I know you didn't say anything about it, but..."  


Brian was washing Justin's torso and felt him stiffen at the question.  His first impulse was to track Tim Callen down and kick him in the balls, especially after he denied being inappropriate, but he continued to wash Justin as he waited less than patiently for the answer.   


"No.  I was very curt and gave him a lot of one word answers.  I didn't want to leave any openings for him to delve deeper.  He didn't ask anything inappropriate."  


"Justin..."  


"No, Brian.  He didn't.  I just feel tense when I talk about him because he did approach me when I was dancing.  Even then, he didn't pressure me.  He was very nice and took my no for a no."  


"Okay.  I made it very clear that I expected no contact with you except in the context of his job as a critic.  He assured me that would be his only contact with you.  I did believe him, but if he ever says anything or does anything..."  Brian did not finish his statement; he knew Justin understood his meaning and he had faith that the next time Justin would tell him.  


Brian finished washing Justin's chest and bent down to give him little kisses on his neck where he had left the hickey.  Justin laughed as they tickled.  


"You didn't?"  Justin asked when he realized Brian was studying his neck and his handiwork.  He'd thought Brian spent a little more time than normal at his neck and he had raised his neck for access, but it'd been so long since Brian had marked him, he was a little surprised.  


Brian's sheepish smile was all the answer he needed.  


"You told Carol."  It was a statement more than a question but there was an unspoken question in there as well.  Brian hoped Justin would answer the call, but he was okay if he did not.  


"I hadn't planned on it, but well she asked about the accident and I mentioned that it wasn't the first time I had to fight to regain things.  I just told her the bare minimum about the bashing."  


Brian turned off the water and reached out to grab the warm towels on the warming rack.  Brian liked luxury and he paid for it even if he was only going to be in a place for a few days.  They dried themselves and rehung the towels on the rack since housekeeping had already been there that morning.  Walking to the main room, they both started dressing.  


"You okay?"  Brian asked, concern for his partner coming through even in the short casual question.  


"Yeah.  Now that I know that my past isn't going to get me kicked out before I even start, I'm okay.  Of course that means that I've really got to get cracking before the show.  I didn't tell her about the gimp hand, so all she knows is I was bashed.  I hope that I don't have to share that with her or anyone else.  I don't want the public thinking of me as the gimp artist.  The last thing I need is for them to come see the show as a result of curiosity for the poor wounded artist."  Justin put on his shirt and grabbed a pair of socks while waiting for Brian to don his new black shirt, that looked like every other black shirt in his closet, and announce that he was ready.  


"Mission accomplished. I take it that when I leave for work on Monday you will be eagerly painting in your studio and I will come home to find you immersed in your work and no dinner anywhere in sight."  


Justin smiled and walked to Brian wrapping his arms around his neck.  He nuzzled his neck and kissed it gently.  "I might stop to cook you dinner or I could be the dinner and desert.  You never know."  


Brian kissed him back and laughed.  "Twat. Let's go find some lunch and then we will do a little damage to my Gold Card.  I think we need to find a great sofa that I can fuck you on when I just can't wait to get to the bed."  


They walked out of the hotel room and stopped at the front desk to ask for refreshed sheets and towels.  They grabbed a cab and stopped at the realtors to get a key so they could take measurements.  


   
TBC  
 


	49. In New York We Go Shopping

Armed with the measurements from their new residence, they took a cab to Cliff Young Ltd.  Justin’s eyes popped at the collection of furniture.  Walking over to the first leather sofa of the group, he plopped down none too gently as he frequently sat down that way.  He sat in the middle and then on either end.  He pushed on the back and then laid his head back to see the height of the back.   He then kicked off his shoes and lay down lengthwise on the sofa and noticed that his feet touched the end.  Sitting up, he put on his shoes and moved to the next groupings of furniture.  Brian watched in amusement; leaving the initial comfort test to his partner.   


The salesman stood off to the side watching in a mix of abject horror and amusement but kept his face neutral as he recognized the look of two people ready to buy.  While this was a high end furniture store, he still saw a number of customers who only wanted the cheapest items and really didn’t want to pay the price for a quality piece.  He cringed when he remembered the couple and their 4 year old daughter who came in the week before and allowed their child to jump on the beds as if they were trampolines.  


Justin tried every couch in the living area and waved Brian over when he finished.  


“I think there are three that might work but we need to give them the fuck test,” he said with a teasing smile on his face.  


“And what pray tell is the fuck test?” Brian asked although he had an inkling of where this conversation was going.  


“A couch has to be convenient for fucking.”  


“Sofa” Brian interrupted.  


“It doesn’t matter Brian, now…”  


“Yes it does. A couch is something that *shudder* the munchers would have, these top of the line, expensive pieces of furniture are sofas. And since I have sit and fuck on these, too, we are looking at sofas.”  


Brian was laughing to himself at the helpless look on the salesman’s face. Justin just rolled his eyes and continued like he was conceding to some great sacrifice.  


“Fine, the sofa… can’t be too tall or too short.  Not only do we have to be able to lie down on it together, but we need to be able to fuck in the back.  I need you to stand behind me as I stand at the back so we can judge the height of the sofa.”   Justin smiled at Brian as if he just requested a glass of water.  


Brian had a history of exhibitionism and thought nothing of Justin’s request.  Once Justin had positioned himself in the back of the first couch, he rocked his body into the couch, testing it for correct height.  The first couch was too tall and Justin shook his head before Brian even came behind him.   


As Justin stood behind the second couch, the salesman looked his way as he pushed his groin into the back.  He thought he’d seen everything in his years of selling furniture, but he didn’t remember anyone ever try to get off in the show room.  When Brian went to stand behind Justin, and grabbed his hips, pushing the young man into the sofa, he realized they were testing the furniture for another purpose.  


“Gentleman, please refrain from that type of behavior here.  We have a reputation,” he said, choosing brevity rather than go into detail.  


“I guess that means we will take our money elsewhere,” Brian said as he turned Justin around and kissed him on the mouth.  


They exited the store and Brian hailed another cab.  


“It’s a shame.  I really think the third couch would have been the one.  It had the softest leather and I think it was the perfect height,” Justin said ignoring the fact they were just asked to leave. He also changed his next sentence a bit at the glare he got from Brian, such a label queen. “I know we will find the perfect sofa.  After all the day is young as you always say,” Justin smiled and laid his head on Brian’s shoulder.   


Brian gave the cabbie the address for Safavieh.  As they drove, he reached out for Justin’s hand and clasped it.  They reached their destination in twenty minutes and Brian paid the cabbie.  


“Ready to try on more furniture, Sunshine?” Brian teased only half heartedly.  He enjoyed seeing Justin so carefree, especially after the last few weeks where he appeared despondent all the time.  Knowing Justin, one little talk from Carol was not going to make the world right, but it definitely had taken the pallor of gloom   away from him.   


Justin pulled open the door to the showroom and walked amongst the preset rooms getting a feel for the store and its contents.  He felt even more at ease in this store than he had in Cliff Young.  This place looked like Brian’s loft, beautiful pieces but with some aesthetic to them.  He’d always appreciated Brian’s taste even if it was minimalistic.  Unfortunately none of the sofas met his expectations.  Shaking his head, he walked to Brian and they left the store.  


Catching a third cab, they rode to Roche-Bobois.  Justin smiled as he walked in as the groupings  agreed with his artistic sensibilities.  There were very traditional settings like his grandfather had in his home to very modern settings that looked as if they belonged in a movie set for some Science Fiction show.  He walked around the store twice before he walked to any specific sofa.  He repeated his actions of plopping down, pumping the backs and laying on the sofas.  He found several to his liking and motioned for Brian to join him.   


Brian sat down gently on the sofa as was his usual way and then they lay on the length of the sofa.  Justin lay next to him to gage the width of the sofa and then lay on top of him to allow Brian to test the support of the couch.  They kissed each other for a short moment and both nodded their agreement of its acceptance.  Next Justin walked to the back of the sofa and stood behind it, thrusting his body in mimic of being fucked.  Ignoring their earlier dismissal he couldn’t refrain from grabbing Justin’s hips and thrusting into them.  Of course the close proximity of each other had other effects and they quickly walked to the back of the store and located the bathroom.  


Walking into the stall, Justin pulled down his pants and held his hands up against the wall.  Brian unzipped his trousers and let them drop to his ankles but dug in his pocket for the ever present packet of lube before they dropped.  He tore it open squeezed it on his fingers and thrust two fingers into Justin.  While the intrusion was anticipated, Justin still gave a little grunt at the initial breach.  Brian worked his fingers quickly in and out of the tight channel; Justin thrust his body on the fingers signaling his eagerness and readiness for Brian to proceed.   


Brian handed Justin the condom packet which he quickly tore and placed the latex barrier on Brian.  Brian turned Justin around again and Justin braced the wall.  Brian thrust into Justin, relishing the tightness of Justin surrounding him, enjoying the squeeze that Justin used to add to his pleasure.  Quickly he felt the familiar tingling in his balls and the swell before his buttocks and increased his thrusts.  Justin pushed back hard and encouraged him.  


   


“Harder.  Yeah.  Oh Yeah.  Come for me, Brian.  Now.”  


Brian gave two deep thrusts and he felt himself fill the condom.  Grabbing Justin’s cock as he came he felt the familiar shot as Justin, too, came quickly.  Brian nuzzled his nose into Justin’s neck, breathing in the familiar and comforting scent of his partner.  As he felt himself losing his erection, he held the edge of the condom as he pulled out.  Justin sighed a familiar sound, a mix of disappointment and longing but grabbed some tissue to clean both of them up.  They put themselves back to presentable fashion and left the stall to wash their hands.  


“I’d say that sofa was a good fit.  What do you think?” Brian asked in a teasing fashion.  


“Oh, I’d say it wins first prize.  Let’s go buy it, unless you think you want to try some more sofas.  I think I could be up for a few more trials,” Justin said, the glint of mischief evident in the twinkle.  


Brian dried his hands and ran his fingers through his hair as he attempted to regain his look.  Justin shook his head as he again accepted what a beauty queen Brian was.  He thought Brian had more product and spent more time in the bathroom than Daphne or even his mother who obviously had more years to hide on her face.  


“As much as I’d be up for a few more trials, we do have some other things to accomplish while we’re here.  I promise I’ll make it up to you when we return to our hotel.  After all, when you return to Pittsburgh, you will not have the luxury of trying on furniture since you will be painting all the time.”  Brian’s remark reminded both of them the reason they were in New York in the middle of the week.  For the first time in a while, Justin smiled at the mention of his painting and Brian took that as a good sign.  


They looked at each other and agreed they were presentable, as presentable as two men who just fucked in the bathroom of an exclusive store in Manhattan.  Making their way to the sofa seating ensembles, they signaled the salesman who assisted them in their purchase.  After the sale was complete and logistics of delivery were agreed upon, they made their way outside again and caught a cab to Keetsa to buy a mattress.   


The mattress stores were used to people lying on their mattresses and they did not get as many stares or frowns in those stores, but Brian and Justin enjoyed “the show” they put on for the public as well as the salesman. After they left the store, they laughed hysterically when the salesman readily agreed to deliver the mattress in two weeks at no extra charge, sure that he did that to get them out of his showroom before all the buyers and the salespeople got more than an eyeful.  


They argued or rather loudly discussed the choice of dishes for the apartment; Justin wanted Fiesta ware as it was colorful and struck his artistic nature, while Brian wanted Jasper Conran Wedgewood.  They settled on the Fiesta ware since they wouldn’t be in the New York home very often or stay for long.  Brian doubted they would use the dishes very often and he would not have to look at the offensive dinnerware. It was almost 7 when they left Bloomingdales and Brian was very vocal about his dislike at buying anything in a department store.  Justin just tuned him out; after all it was a partnership and their dishes were mostly in his domain.  Brian rarely walked into the kitchen except for a glass of water and he would not be caught cooking.  This argument Justin had won, hands down.   


Brian disliked losing to Justin, even if he really didn’t care about the dishes and announced that all the remaining pictures and furniture were going to be ordered on line.  Justin was tired after the long day and he agreed.  He decided he would get Brian to go shopping in New York once they were settled.  For now, they had the important things; a couch to fuck on, a bed to fuck on and plates to eat off.  His cock and his stomach, the two most important body parts were appeased.  


The next day they got up late, ordered room service and had sex most of the morning.  When Justin refused to order room service for lunch, they showered and went to find a café for lunch. They placed their orders; Brian a salad and Justin a sandwich and waited for their food to arrive.  


“Thanks for arranging this trip,” Justin said as he watched a young couple with a little blond boy walk in the front door.  He watched as they grabbed a high chair and gave the child a piece of paper and some crayons to keep him occupied.  The child seemed very content.  


“It needed to be done,” Brian said, dismissing the thanks.  


“You know me so well.  How did you know it would work?  I mean I doubt I would have thought to call Carol and tell her what was going on,”  Justin looked at the young child coloring and wondered if that is what he looked like at that age; happily occupied with making a picture.  


Brian frowned and then smiled at Justin.  “A person gets to know someone pretty well after 7 years.  Besides, I knew if I didn’t fix this, I would have one angry therapist calling me day and night until I did.”  


Justin laughed so loud at Brian’s statement that several people in the restaurant stopped and looked his way, trying to decipher what was so funny.  When they could see no obvious physical reason for the loud laughter, they returned to their individual meals.  “You’re afraid of Daphne.  That is so funny.  Wait till I tell her that big bad Brian is afraid of a 5’ 2” woman.”  


“I’m not afraid of Ms. Chanders.  We have an understanding when it comes to the care and feeding of one Justin Taylor.  She would just have my hide had I not been able to get you to see reason,” Brian said in very matter of fact words devoid of emotion.  


Justin knew better than to egg Brian on, but he found it endearing that Brian would listen to Daphne when it came to helping him.  He admitted without saying the words that sometimes even Brian Kinney needed help.  


“We saw Carol, shopped for the apartment and we still have the rest of today. I was hoping you would let me go to MOMA.  There is a great exhibit there on Inventing Abstract that I would love to see.”  


Brian didn’t answer Justin right away.  Brian had been on more trips to art museums in the last 7 years then he had in his previous 29 years, but he never begrudged him those visits.  However, Justin tended to judge his art against other pieces in a museum, a risky endeavor at this point in time.  Justin was talented and usually he critiqued the art with a reasonable eye and recognized the differences between his art and the ones he saw in the galleries.  After what they had just gone through with Justin’s crisis of faith in his talent, he wasn’t sure this was a good idea.   


“Brian…”  


There was no response from Brian; he was still trying to figure out what he wanted to say.  


After a few moments of silence, Justin said, “Oh.” He understood Brian’s reluctance was a direct result of this visit.  He knew that he often compared his work to those of other modern artists.  “Carol says I’m good and Tim Callen says I have talent beyond my years.”  


Nodding his head, he was glad that he didn’t have to spell out his fears for Justin. “But what do you think?”  


Justin looked over to the little boy happily coloring and then watched as he picked up his masterpiece to show his parents.  They smiled and appeared to praise him but he was too far away to catch their words.  He smiled back and continued coloring.  He envied the little boy, the praise from his parents sufficient to give him the confidence to continue his piece.  He understood Brian’s reluctance given the reason for their trip and nodded slightly acquiescing to Brian’s hesitancy.   


“We’ll go after my show.  It’s here for another 3 months.”  


“You need new clothes for the opening.  Let’s go shopping for those.  I know I won’t get you away from your canvases for very long in the next month.  And it will be novel to shop with you when you don’t have bits of paint under your fingernails.”  Brian offered a substitute outing that he knew Justin would agree to, even though he would not enjoy it as much.  


“Sometimes I think you are a stunted designer, the way you love to dress me up,”  Justin teased, knowing that Brian was a huge fashion queen but that was more due to Brian wanting to be the best homosexual he could be and that included dressing to the nines.  


Brian smirked at Justin’s appraisal, half agreeing with the assessment.  


They decided on Odin to start their shopping.  Justin wanted something unique but that would show off his individualism.  Brian liked that it was a small shop with very individual service.  Even as a small shop, there were quite a few customers and no public bathroom so they followed rules of decorum and refrained from their performances the previous day.  With two casual but trendy coats and trousers and a handful of dress shirts, they entered the checkout.  Justin refused to get a tie and Brian acquiesced for the time being.  He was fairly certain, he could enlist Carol in the proper dressing of her newest Protégé.  They had the items delivered to West Virginia, not having room in their luggage for the purchases.  


It was the last night of their short trip and both men were pleased with the visit.  Brian felt it was cause for celebration and suggested a visit to Splash.  They needed to both let loose and this was the place.  Justin loved to dance and while Brian was not the best dancer in the world, together they made a stunning couple and always drew eyes.  This would be an advantage as well; another reason for Justin to be proud of himself.  Brian wanted Justin to have as many positive moments this trip as possible and there was no better ego booster than having numerous guys trying to pick you up.  He should know as this was his modus operandi for many years; until Justin came along and lost some of its appeal.   


They went to Splash, paid the cover and let loose.  Brian enjoyed his normal glass of Beam and Justin had a few drinks as well.  They danced, were propositioned, went to the back room a few times for a quick blow job and were immersed in the New York scene.  


“I think we should come back here again.  Tonight was awesome,”  Justin said as he kissed Brian deeply on the lips as they were sitting at the bar nursing a last drink.  


“Agreed.  But for now, it is time to leave.  We have a very early flight in the morning and we must return to reality.”  


Reluctantly, Justin agreed and they finished their drinks and walked outside to call a cab.  The cab took them to the hotel where they quickly showered and jerked each other off before falling into bed.  


“Thank you,”  Justin whispered as he was about to fall asleep.  


“Any time,” Brian said as he curled himself around Justin falling asleep in minutes.  


In the morning they caught their plane and landed in Pittsburgh an hour later.   


 


	50. Life Returns to Normal or Does It?

They returned by mid morning and by afternoon, both men were back at their respective jobs; Brian at Kinnetik and Justin in his studio.  Justin picked up his paintbrush and began painting a new piece.  By mid afternoon, his hand was cramping and he stopped to give it a rest.   


Walking into the kitchen, he grabbed an apple and ate it before calling Daphne.  


"Hey," she answered on the first ring, a little tentative in her response but hopeful as he was willingly calling her; surely a good sign that he wasn't mad at her intervention.  


"We're back from New York.  It was an amazing trip."  Justin smiled as he remembered the tryst in the bathroom at Savieh.  "Brian and I almost did it on the showroom of the furniture store," he replied smugly.  


"No.  Tell me you two are not reverting to juvenile antics."  


Justin giggled.  "We had to try on the sofas; couldn't buy one that didn't match our fucking height.  So..."  


"The two of you are incorrigible.  Remind me never to go shopping with both of you.  I think I would die of embarrassment."  Daphne quickly imagined the two of them "trying out a sofa" and felt sorry for the salesman and any customers that were around.  "What else did you do in New York?" she asked hoping that Brian had other ideas than to distract Justin with his favorite pass time, shopping, or second favorite, fucking.  Daphne wasn't too sure which one topped the list, but in Brian's mind they were definitely a close tie.  


"We saw Carol that first day and Brian talked to Tim Callen, you know the critic, ie stalker."  Justin looked in the freezer for something to defrost for dinner.  He felt like cooking and after the teasing Brian had provided in New York, he decided he should pretend to live up to the notion of cook.  


"Oh.  And..."  Daphne was refraining from asking questions.  She determined that if Justin was calling and offering information things went well, but she wanted Justin to fill her in on the situation.  


"Brian told her about the dancing and she said she didn't mind.  Then he had a private interview with Tim Callen.  He told me that he made it really clear that I was not on the invitation list."  


"Ok."  


"And I told Carol about the bashing," he added softly. He waited a few moments for her to comment, but when she said nothing he continued. "I wasn't planning on saying anything, but she already knew about the accident and she mentioned Brian's protectiveness, almost as if it were out of the ordinary- like he was some knight in shining armor and I was a damsel in distress.  I couldn't let her think of me as some softie, so I decided to tell her.  This way she understood why the accident was so disastrous."  


Daphne nodded her head in understanding.  Her friend was incredible; living through adversity twice and each time almost losing his art, his very being in the process.   


"What did she say when you told her?"  


"She said it was terrible and now she had a better understanding of the situation and why I wanted to move back.  She seemed to support my decisions.  She assured me that my talent was very real and that I needed to get back to painting. She's so sure that the show will be a success and I will be on target to have another one very soon."  


"Oh Justin, I'm so glad.  How do you feel?"  


"Good. I'm good.  I also wanted to tell you thank you.  I know you went to Brian and talked to him.  I appreciate your concern, even if it was underhanded.  I know I would never have told him.  Well, never is a long time; at least that is what my mom always said, but still it might have been too late if you'd waited."  Justin grabbed the chicken and placed it on a plate and then put the plate in the refrigerator to defrost.  "I guess my hand has rested enough.  Back to painting."  


"Let's do lunch later this week.  Maybe I'll come out to the house and see your new pieces."  


"I really need to work on Brian getting me a car. But if I met you in the city, you couldn't see the pieces.  So, it sounds good."  Justin smiled as he hung up the phone.  


Returning to the studio, he spent another few hours painting and when his hand started hurting again, he quit, cleaned up his brushes and cooked dinner.  When Brian came home to a fully cooked dinner, he raised his eyebrows in an unspoken question.  Justin grabbed his hand, leading him up to the studio and pointed to several new pieces in various stages of completion.  


Brian kissed him deeply on the mouth and took his hand in return, leading him to the bedroom where he proceeded to plunder Justin on their bed.  Justin's stomach growled and they both laughed at the precise timing.  


"I swear, there is a little green man in there who looks out your belly button and chooses to announce his presence in the most inopportune time," Brian teased.  


"I don't know that I would call it inopportune.  We both are lying here in post orgasm highs.  I'd say it was good timing.  Better wash up, the chicken is in the fridge but I don't want to leave it there all night."  


They sat at the table enjoying Justin's cooking and made small talk for the first part of the meal.  As Justin got up to clear the dishes, Brian admired his ass.  


"Well, I see my prediction was correct.  You painted and you cooked dinner.  Am I good or what?"  


"I also called Daphne.  She's glad to hear that the trip went well.  She was also appalled but not surprised by our little escapades in the furniture store. She said she wished she had been a patron so she could see the show."  


"I always knew she was a little voyeur.  Why else would she want to know about our sex life? It must be the therapist in her, having to look at all the angles."  


"Do you have work to do tonight?  I know our little trip to New York probably set you back."  


"No.  Theodore and Cynthia handled everything.  Your little crisis occurred at a good time, well it is never a good time to have a crisis, but rather a lull.  The ground work for the winter campaigns are almost complete and the fall campaigns are in full swing.  Leave it to you to have a crisis in a timely fashion,"  Brian said, tongue in cheek.  Although he hated leftovers himself, he knew that Justin often ate them for lunch when he was home.  He packed up the leftover chicken pieces and placed them in the fridge.  


"I was thinking we could go see Gus later this week.  It's been a while."  


"Why don't you give Linds a call now, set it up for tomorrow?  I miss the little guy."  


Brian called Linds and they were free the next night and agreed to have them over for dinner at 6:30.   


"Brian, if we're going to meet them at 6:30, I need a way to get there unless you plan on coming home at 5:00 to get me.  Can we talk about getting me a car?"  Justin found this was a great opening for the important conversation.  


"I see your point," he said, understanding the inconvenience of being out in West Virginia. In some ways being out here was good for them; fewer interruptions from family and a haven from their busy lives, but it was also a nuisance when they wanted to do something in town.  He could have suggested Justin go with him in the morning and meet him at the loft, but then he would have missed a day of painting. He relented his earlier conviction and said, "For now, why don't you use the service and after your show, we'll go car shopping."  


Justin hugged Brian fiercely and kissed him.   


"You're like a damn puppy.  Now stop.  Let's go watch a movie."  


They watched The _Dark Knight Rises_ and went to bed.  


The following night they arrived within minutes of each other at Linds and Mel's home.  They gave each other a welcome kiss but pulled apart when Gus came barreling into the foyer.  


"Daddy!!!  Justin!!!!.  Come see my new car.  Mama bought it for me.  It's almost like your car Daddy, but its silver instead of black."  


Gus showed them his new prized possession and both congratulated him on his newest acquisition.  Gus looked up at Justin and decided he looked all better even if his mom had warned him to not ask him a lot of questions.  


"Justin, when we going to paint again?  Mom says you are feeling better.  So, can we paint this weekend?  I don't have soccer practice and Jenny has some silly dance lesson.  Can you come pick me up Daddy, and take me to paint with Justin?"  


Justin bent down to be eye level with Brian's son and gave him a big hug.  "I think something can be arranged.  Maybe you could even spend the night with me and Daddy.  Would you like that?"  


Gus jumped up and down and high fived Justin.  Running toward the kitchen, he yelled, "Mom, Momma, Justin's going to paint with me and he said I could come to Daddy's house this weekend.  Isn't that great?"  


Turning toward Brian, Justin smiled and kissed him gently.  "I hope you don't mind.  I've really missed painting with him.  We used to do it all the time, but...."  Justin didn't finish the sentence as Brian understood his meaning.  "Let's go eat and spend some time with your son."  


Lindsay served the dinner and they all ate in silence for a little while.  


"I was looking at the calendar the other day and noticed that your show is in just a few weeks.  I hope you've been able to paint. It would be a shame for your talent to be wasted here in Pittsburgh."  


"I think Justin knows when his show is and as far as his talent is concerned, it's the same here as in Pittsburgh....fabulous."  Brian picked up a piece of chicken and ate a bite of it, putting down his fork as he suddenly lost his appetite.   


"Brian, I didn't mean..." Lindsay attempted to pack pedal her comment, but Brian wasn't taking the bait.  


"Justin is a talented artist and your attempts to undermine his choices are really not appreciated."  Turning to Gus, he directed his next comment to the little boy.  "Looks like you finished your dinner, why don't we go play with your new car for a bit before Daddy and Justin have to leave.  You can spend lots of time with us this weekend."  


"Momma, I'm finished."  He picked up his plate and brought it in to the kitchen and quickly joined his father.  


"Justin," Lindsay pleaded as she watched father and son ascend the stairs.  


"We'll pick up Gus after work on Friday.  He can spend the night and day with us.  Have a bag ready about 7:00."  Justin took his and Brian's plates to the sink and left them as he followed his partner and Gus.  


Lindsay sat with her mouth open, unsure what just happened.  "Mel, I just asked how the painting was progressing.  I only want the best for him," Lindsay tried to defend herself.  


Mel just nodded her head in agreement and put away the remainder of the food.  About half an hour later, she called upstairs announcing that desert was served.  


Gus, Brian and Justin all tromped down the stairs and sat at the table while Melanie served the pudding.   


"Yeah pudding, my favorite," Gus exclaimed as he picked up his spoon to delve into the creamy mixture.   


Brian waved his hand in front of him signaling his decline of the offered desert and Justin accepted his.  When desert was over, Brian urged Gus over to sit by him.  "So, I'll pick you up after work on Friday and then you can spend the night and the rest of the day with us.  You can paint with Justin and we can shoot the soccer ball.  I want to practice shooting goals with you.  You came really close to making a goal last game and I know you can do it."  


Gus wrapped his hands around Brian's neck and squeezed really hard and then proceeded to place numerous kisses on his face.   


"I love you Daddy."   


Brian smiled at the unconditional love of his son, finding it difficult to remember a time when he wasn't around.  


"Love you too, Justin.  I'm glad you are feeling better. It was sad when we didn't paint together."  He leaned over and kissed Justin too.  


"Me too, buddy."  


Brian stood up and motioned for Justin to walk with him.  


"Thanks for dinner.  Gus, we'll see you on Friday."  


Gus walked with the men to the door and watched as they got into Brian's car.  "I have the best Daddy in the whole world."  


"Go take your bath," Lindsay instructed.  "It's late and you have school tomorrow."  


Brian and Justin got into the Vette and drove toward Britin.   


"I can't believe Lindsay still questions my ability to paint in Pittsburgh.  She says she doesn't want me to fail but then she says stuff like I better watch out." Justin said as he was mulling over the conversation from dinner.  


"I think she lives vicariously through you.  She always wanted to make it big in the art world but never got far.  She feels your opportunity is a one in a lifetime one."  


"You know I remember telling her that my art was not a once in a lifetime opportunity, but that you were my once in a lifetime opportunity. The two go hand in hand.  Without you, my art would be nothing."  


Brian didn't answer right away, unsure how he wanted to respond, but decided he would go with his gut.  


"I used to think that was bullshit, that I was your opportunity, but now I'm not so sure.  I think you've shown me time and time again that your art reflects your life.  When you're happy your art shines, but when you aren't it sucks.  I want you to know that all I ever want is your happiness.  And since us being together makes you happy, I was thinking that you should marry me so we can always be together."  


 Justin smiled a large smile.  


TBC  
   
   
   
 


	51. Marry Me

 "I think you should marry me," Brian said.

Brian continued to drive, not really wondering what Justin would say.  He knew this was the right time and he hoped Justin's faith in himself and them would make him say, yes.

Brian had just asked him to marry him like he was asking if he wanted chicken for dinner. This didn't seem premeditated and Justin loved him for his spontaneity.

Justin thought back to the first time Brian said "I love you."  It had been the night of the bombing of Babylon.  Brian had raced back to the club, hunting for him in the rubble.  When he found him, he walked him out to safety and held him tight, and then whispered those long sought out words.  Justin wondered how much of that night was brought on by circumstances and how much was truth.

 The first time Brian asked him to marry him, Justin had turned him down, no thought involved.  He knew in his heart that Brian was reacting to the bombing and the harsh reality of his mortality.  They all had near brushes with death and when that happens, people tend to act irrationally.  Justin understood that somewhere inside Brian's twisted brain there was some desire for them to be together but he didn't think that was the time. Even though a few weeks later, Justin had agreed to marry Brian after Brian declared his desire to do anything for his Prince to show him how much he meant to him.  At the time, Justin knew Brian cared for him, even believed that Brian loved him, and he really wanted to believe that marriage was the right thing to do.  Then Brian started to change; he wanted to cuddle, didn't want to go out to Babylon, didn't want to trick, and while Justin did like all these things, he wasn't prepared for Brian to become a different man overnight. So while he had agreed, in the end, they called it off.

Justin looked over at his partner and thought about the last few months. Brian had been a pillar of strength and support for him every step of the way. He had never sensed any trepidation, no question of his commitment.  When he was happy, Brian was happy and when he was sad, he knew that Brian ached for him.  When he thought about those first few weeks after the accident when he didn't remember that Brian and he were partners, he was very touched at the way Brian still protected him.  Brian wanted to share himself with Justin but refrained as he didn't want to confuse him.  He waited patiently for Justin to remember his life and their relationship. He never pushed Justin to do things he wanted, like sleep with him or kiss him, but patiently waited until he was ready. 

In the last few months, Brian held him on so many occasions with no expectation that sex would follow.  In the beginning, Justin would not have offered sex as he wasn't really sure where there relationship lay, but even after he did know, Brian had respected Justin's distance on many occasions. Now their sex life was as active as ever, but there was a difference.  It was no longer a lust filled mating.  Yes, there was lust, but the joinings held something more esoteric, love.  Even as they had quick "monkey sex" as they called their 10 minute trysts, there was such an underlying love that came through.  Justin sometimes had a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that Brian Kinney made love to him on a regular basis and said "I love you" at least once a week.  Sex had evolved into a mutual sharing of their bodies, the ultimate joining of two people coming together as one.

Brian read his moods; the happy ones, the sad ones, the defiant ones and the "I'm not good for shit" ones as well.  He could read his body language in and out of bed.  Brian had become an expert in knowing what was happening and even now, before Daphne intervened, he knew Brian recognized that something was not right.  He just chose to allow Justin time to work through it and when he didn't, he pushed and intervened.  Then in clear Knight in Shining Armor mode, he took charge once again, set up a meeting with Carol, asked to talk to Tim Callen and helped Justin over his latest crisis.

And now, Brian asked him to marry him a third time.  This time the time was right.  It wasn't a result of a bombing or reaching out to stay connected because he was leaving to live in New York. It wasn't because Brian thought he might meet someone else.  It was for the only reason that really mattered.  Brian wanted him happy and he finally realized and accepted that being together with his partner was the thing that made them both the happiest. 

All these thoughts had taken only a moment to flash through Justin's mind before he gave his answer. "I like the way you think," he said and smiled one of the biggest smiles of his life time. 

Neither man said anything more about the proposal.  Both accepted that Brian's asking and Justin acceptance was just the next step in the evolution of their phenomenal relationship.  Brian wasn't sure where the question had come from, but it just felt right.  Justin didn't question Brian's motivation and accepted that this was the way it should be; the two of them together, making each other happy.

When they reached Britin, it was early, only 9:30 and without any discussion both men went upstairs to their bedroom and quickly took off their clothes and made their way to the bed. Justin lay on the bottom and Brian easily draped his body over him.  They kissed; first soft kisses, covering their eyelids and cheeks and then they opened their mouths, allowing their tongues to dance.  The licks and swipes were familiar but hot, the heat between the two lovers obvious.  Justin breathed into Brian's mouth, their breath intermingled; they were one person sharing two bodies.

"I love you," Brian said as he broke the kiss and inhaled Justin's neck. 

"I know," Justin said as he pushed his cock into Brian's abdomen.

Brian flipped them over, liking Justin on top of him where he can caress the soft alabaster skin and play with his butt.  Justin's butt had always been a huge turn on for him and he wondered for a brief second how it could still hold such appeal and draw even after seven years of enjoying its pleasures.  Brian doesn't think it has changed since that first night when he took Justin home to the loft. 

Justin moaned in appreciation and in turn kissed Brian's neck and chest as he enjoyed the massage that Brian gave his ass.  Brian parted his ass cheeks and slid his finger down the crack, teasing the sensitive area.  He envisioned the tight hole, puckered and pink waiting to be opened by him and stretched by his cock.  Removing his finger, he recognized the release of air from Justin's mouth as he sighed at the loss of stimulation.

"Shh. Just enjoy."

Brian returned to his gentle caress and massage of Justin's ass as Justin pushed up into Brian's hands, silently showing him he missed the intimate touch.  No words are needed, they have learned to read each other's bodies so well that the only sounds are those of pleasure. 

Justin wanted more so he rolled out from under Brian and positioned himself to his side, where he can engulf Brian's cock.  Brian's cock deserves the legend that it has created on Liberty Avenue, but Justin knows that he is the only one that knows all its secrets.  He knows that Brian loves to have his balls played with but that they are too sensitive right before he comes.  He imagines that is a result of his cancer, but he doesn't really need to talk about that with Brian; he just uses that knowledge to please him.  He knows that Brian loves a little pressure in his ass as you suck his cock, but would never ask for the addition.  As Brian's lover, he knows how to bring him to climax in 5 minutes as well as how to extend a blow job for an hour; long, exquisite torture.  He opened his mouth wide to take in the purple tinted head as he positions himself right at Brian's mouth opening.  His invitation to Brian loud and clear, again without a word being said. Swirling his tongue around the head, he tasted the familiar mix of saltiness and Brian's body wash, a spicy scent from Molton Brown Black Re-Charge Black Pepper.  Just going into their bathroom and smelling the body wash often got Justin half hard.  Brian's cock was fully erect; hard and long.  Licking the sides and sucking the head was one of Justin's favorite activities.  It was beauty personified and he worshipped at the altar.  He played with his balls and ran his finger down the sensitive perineum. With each stroke he could feel Brian's sack wrinkle with arousal. Brian ran his forefinger over the tip of Justin's cock head, stopping to put a little extra pressure over the slit.  He stroked the thick length, marveling at the size of Justin's cock.  He played with the balls and the perineum but had yet to taste him.

"Briannnnnnn," Justin urged when he could no longer stand the wait.

"Yes," Brian said, teasing him with his innocent reply.  "Is something wrong?"

"Brian," Justin said forcefully.

Brian answered him by flicking his tongue and tasting Justin, quickly engulfing him in one fell swoop.  Bobbing his head, he swirled his tongue on the turgid member, Justin responded by sucking harder on Brian's cock.  Brian would play with Justin's cock head and Justin would do the same to Brian.  They were mirror images of each other's actions.  

Brian pulled away for a moment and reached in the drawer for the ever present tube of lube and condom.  He flipped the top and squeezed out a dollop and opened Justin's cheeks, finding the eagerly waiting hole.  Running his finger over the sensitive area, he gently pushed into the hole with one finger.  Justin stopped his sucking for a moment.

"Ahhhh," he sighed at the welcome intrusion, understanding that Brian was close and wanted to move things along.  He waited for a moment until Brian moved his finger, gently preparing him for their joining and then returned to sucking Brian's cock.  His tongue licked and stroked the shaft as his finger stroked the perineum, quickly bringing Brian close to the edge.  Brian quickly finished preparing him and then handed him the condom.

Justin tore the wrapper with his teeth as he had done countless times.  There was a ritualistic part of this mating game and this was as key to the dance as the act itself.  Placing the condom on Brian, Justin turned to face his partner.  Brian mimed for Justin to lay on his back and Justin complied, raising his legs for Brian's easier access to his body.  Brian matched himself up to the opening and gently pushed past the first ring, waiting for Justin's signal to continue.

Justin raised up and pushed his body toward Brian, signaling his readiness. Brian pushed inward and pulled out slowly, enjoying the slow movement and the friction of the tight space.  Justin's ass was always a welcome home for him and today was no different.  His mind was lost in the moment, concentrating on hitting Justin's sweet spot with every thrust while getting the maximum amount of friction for himself.  Justin's grunts and sighs were clarification that he was on target.  It was important that Justin enjoy their joining as much as he did. 

Soon he felt the familiar tingling in his toes and lower back that signaled orgasm was close.  Attempting to slow down to stave off the inevitable, his efforts were thwarted by Justin as he pushed up into Brian and grabbed his hips to pull Brian into him.  Digging his heels in the back of Brian, he massaged Brian's prostate from the outside.  While it wasn't nearly as effective as direct stimulation, the effect was similar.  Both men were in the throes of sex, their mind's sole purpose, reaching the orgasmic finish line, sooner rather than later. The time for languorous movement was over and the frenzy had begun. 

Sweat dripped down Brian's forehead as he pistoned in and out of Justin.  Justin pulled Brian to his body; the resulting movements accented by the tight fit.  Justin's breathing was shallow, labored as his body raced to reach the greatest high imaginable.  Justin felt Brian shoot into the condom and the pulse of his cock as it emptied.  Justin pumped a few more times, trapping his cock in the space between them and then felt his orgasm as he shot between their bellies.  Brian lay on Justin, inhaling his scent and feeling his racing heart underneath his chest.

They lay together for half an hour and Brian rolled off Justin.

"I'm taking a shower.  Join me?"

"Sounds like another good idea," he said as he grinned and joined him in the shower.

They helped clean each other in the shower as was their routine.  Brian washed Justin and Justin washed Brian.  They played, splashed each other and even though they had just had phenomenal sex, they gave each other a hand job before they stepped out.

It had been a long week, starting out in New York and tonight's dinner with Mel and Linds had also added to the stress; therefore both men agreed to go to bed early.  In the morning Brian rose early and went to work and Justin returned to his studio.

On Friday, Brian picked up Gus from the munchers and brought him out to Britin.  Just as they promised, Justin painted with him and Brian kicked the soccer ball with him, practicing his shooting and blocking. Justin joined them playing soccer once to see if Gus was good at getting control of the ball from another player. It was obvious after the third time Justin fell and Gus had no trouble stealing the ball from Justin.  Brian's partner's talents were truly in art and not in sports. Gus was thrilled to spend time with them and pleaded to stay the whole weekend.  However, they told him they had plans but would come get him soon. They brought him back to Mel and Linds Saturday afternoon and thankfully Lindsay didn't say a word about Justin's painting.

Saturday night they were getting ready to go to Babylon, both men wanting to let loose after a busy week. Justin pulled out a thin blue shirt that left little to the imagination and a pair of nice jeans while Brian pulled out his proverbial black shirt.

Justin was watching Brian as he primped in the bathroom and inwardly laughed at his antics.  Brian already had the reputation as the stud of Liberty Avenue and he had just asked Justin to marry him, essentially announcing he was not interested any more.  Although they had not talked about monogamy, Justin knew they would do so when the time was right.  Not that Justin was worried, he just got a kick out of Brian taking longer in the bathroom than some women he knew, not that he would ever tell Brian that.

"Come in here," Brian said as he squeezed out a little product to put in his hair.

Justin walked into the bathroom where he sat on the toilet watching Brian get the "just right" look that would be wasted in 5 minutes when the steam from all the hot bodies hit him at Babylon.

"I think we should get married in New York.  Before your show.  We will have a double celebration."

Justin looked at Brian, amazed at how Brian had been silently thinking about the proposal but obviously not sharing his thoughts with his partner.  Justin wasn't upset by this; it just reinforced the rightness of the situation.

"I don't know.  What happens if the show..."

"It won't.  You're fabulous.  But, even if the critics don't give it the great reviews it deserves, we will be celebrating our future.  And that is a reason to celebrate."  Brian turns around and kissed Justin soundly on the lips. 

"Ok."  Justin grinned at Brian's enthusiasm.  "New York, it is." 

"Good.  That's settled.  We're getting married in two weeks.  We can talk about the specifics when we go up there next week to sign the papers for the apartment."

"The apartment?  The papers are ready?  I didn't know.  When did that happen?  I thought it was going to be a while."

"Good thing they moved fast.  We wouldn't want the furniture stores to have to hold our purchases for too long.  I got a call yesterday from the realtor.  So pack your bags, we leave on Wednesday and while we're there, we can find a place to get married."

Justin stood up and hugged Brian, kissing him all over his face and then soundly on his lips.

"You are the best partner!!! I love you."

"I know. We need to go.  The boyz are waiting.  They will think that they've been stood up again."   TBC.


	52. A Night At Babylon

Brian and Justin entered Babylon and located their friends by the bar.  Michael was nursing a beer and Ben was drinking one as well.  Ben had his hand on the lower part of Michael's back, the intimacy between them obvious.  Emmett was drinking something with a pink umbrella sticking out of it and was wearing an outrageous combination of orange pants with a mesh pink top.  The two colors complemented each other but it was not an outfit that surprised either Brian or Justin, but seemed to fit Emmett's flame as he was surely burning bright tonight as evidenced by his animation in sharing his latest tale with his small entourage. Ted nursed a club soda with a lime in it but he and Blake appeared to be listening intently to Emmett as he regaled them with his latest adventure. Blake smiled at Ted intermittently as he drank his soda and ran his hand down Ted's back. 

As frequently happened, the crowd seemed to part when the magnificent man and his partner entered.  It was almost like Brian was the King of this land and the bar crowd were his subjects, parting for him to walk amongst the public.  Neither Brian nor Justin seemed to notice the reverence and made their way to the boyz where they both ordered shots of Beam from the bar.

"And they have arrived.  Got out of bed long enough to join us. I was beginning to wonder if you two blew us off," Michael said, the comment made only in slight jest.  Ben gave him a slight frown at his comment, but did not say anything, understanding Michael's feelings toward Justin and Brian and their complicated relationship.

"I'll have you know I didn't blow Justin.  We were late because we spent the day with Gus and had to bring him back to the Munchers.  Although, now that you mention it, a blow job seems like a great way to start the evening."  Looking at Justin he gave him a lascivious grin and tilted his head back toward the back room. "I'm up for it," he said as he placed Justin's hand on the front of his pants, allowing him to feel the start of his erection.

"Brian!" Michael said, the whine so evident in his voice to almost be like a child's.

"Ewww," came the chorus from Ted and Emmett.

Justin squeezed Brian's hard-on quickly, but then let go before Brian dragged him away and gave him his patented smile and said, "Later." Turning back to the bar, he ordered a second shot for both of them and allowed himself to listen to the music instead of concentrating on the little conversation among the small group.

Brian raised his eyebrows for a second telling Justin in their silent conversation that it was worth a shot.  Finishing his second drink he placed his glass on the bar, looked at Justin and tilted his head toward the dance floor.  Justin put his glass on the bar and followed Brian out to the crowded floor where the sea of beautiful men parted to give them a small space to dance.

Emmett watched Justin and Brian dancing, oblivious to any of the looks they received from other men.  As they had eyes for only each other, he thought they looked different tonight, somehow more connected to each other.  Emmett understood more than Michael, Brian's self-proclaimed best friend, how difficult these last few months had been on Brian.  Emmett watched people, understood their body language and read between the lines.  It was important to have that skill in his business.  He had to please people and sometimes what people said was not what they wanted and sometimes, like in Brian's situation, what wasn't said was just as critical to success and happiness as what he did say. 

When Justin was in New York and Brian would talk about visiting him, his eyes would shine and a mischievous twinkle would fill his face.  But on the Monday after his return the light would be gone, filled with a hint of sadness.  Emmett never commented on his observations but gave Brian more slack on those days, ignoring his increased abrasiveness that frequently accompanied his return from seeing Justin. 

When Brian brought Justin back from New York after his accident, there was a distinct change in him.  The need to protect his partner accompanied by the hurt of Justin's ignorance of their partnership was difficult for Brian.  He favored Justin's needs to be eased back into his life over his own needs to acknowledge their on- going relationship.  Brian always wanted Justin to come first and this was so evident in everything he did after the accident.  But tonight, things were different. 

Emmett couldn't identify the change, but both men seemed to be having a private celebration, like a burden had been lifted and they were relishing their life and their partnership.  He hoped that his observations were correct and that they were moving forward in their lives.

"Should we tell them?" Justin spoke in Brian's ear as they danced close to each other. The noise from the music was so loud that Justin was almost shouting to be heard.

"Oh, I don't know.  I kind of like having a few secrets," Brian teased as he smiled devilishly at Justin.

"Everybody's planning on coming for the show.  It will be the perfect time.  I know you must have thought about this for a long time.  You are so good at keeping a secret."

"Who says I was thinking about it for a long time?   It just seemed like a good idea."

Justin smiled and slapped his hand on Brian's chest, dismissing his comment.  Looking at Brian, his black shirt fitting tightly around his chest and his jeans hugging his hips and ass, Justin licked his lips. "You know, I think you had the right idea earlier.  I think the back room is an excellent idea."

"You do?  Well I like the way you think too.  Lead on McDuff."  Brian said as he followed Justin to the back room. Michael had been watching the two men on the dance floor.  He too noticed the difference in them tonight.  Unlike Emmett, he attributed it to a dose of E or other drugs they probably took before they arrived at the club.  He was pleased that Justin seemed to be back to his old self, but was still surprised that he wasn't returning to New York.  He thought he might change his mind. 

Ted watched the dance floor as well.  He'd become very close to Brian, a friendship that surprised him to no end.  He'd always been the butt of Brian's deprecations and when he asked him to come work for him, it was the surprise of his life.  Now Brian trusted him with his business and his personal finances, probably the two most important things to him, after Justin and Gus.  He was privy to Brian's personal papers as well as his business ones and he knew Brian's relationship with Justin was more than most people understood.  Justin was co-owner of all of Brian's assets and executor of his will.  Financially they were tied together but also legally as Brian was Justin's medical proxy and Justin was his.  He knew it killed Brian a little every day when Justin did not remember events in their lives. 

He was glad that his friend had regained his partner; he deserved some happiness after the difficulties he sustained in life.  Watching them on the dance floor, he too saw a noticeable light heartedness between the two men.  Something was happening and he knew it was a good thing.  Happy, he smiled and ordered another club soda.

It would have surprised Brian that his friends were that intuitive. He'd known them for many years and while they were there for each other in times of crisis; Vic's death, Brian's cancer, the bombing, they didn't share each other's intimate thoughts and feelings.  Maybe it was because they were men, but he doubted that as he and Justin shared feelings.  It was because they were friends but ones that enjoyed the good times and liked to keep their friendship on the light side.  Still he was a little blindsided when they were greeted by their friends when they returned from the back room.

"You two seem very light hearted this evening.  Want to share some of those fabulous drugs?  I know they're safe if you're imbibing," Emmett said as he tipped his drink toward the couple.

"I was thinking the same thing.  I don't do drugs anymore, but I wondered if you two had taken some before you got here.  Gus, too much of a handful?  I know I'm tired when I have JR for the afternoon," Michael said, grinning as he thought of Brian and Justin chasing a 7 year old.

"And what about you Theodore?  Do you think we have been taking some good drugs before we arrived?"  Brian asked pointedly to his friend that he often thought knew him better than Michael but not as well as Justin. 

"Bri..." Ted played with the glass in his hand, twirling it around.  He didn't want to mention drugs.  He knew that Brian had cut back a lot on them, especially since Justin's return. But Brian was a private person and often didn't like to give up his persona, especially around his friends.  Ted was torn between sharing his true thoughts and agreeing with the crowd.

Brian laughed and pulled Justin to him, putting him in front of him as he draped his arms around his neck from behind.  Whispering into Justin's ear, he said, "I guess that answers your question.  Seems even the boyz can see our happiness.  You want to tell them or shall I?"  Brian continued to lean down toward Justin's face as he waited for an answer.

"You asked so you should tell," Justin suggested.

"Emmy Lou, Michael, Ted.... No, there was no E although tonight I don't think I could get any higher than I already am."

The boyz looked from one another and scrunched their eyes a little at Brian's statement, not understanding his meaning. Brian enjoyed their obvious confusion and let the moment linger.

"Justin and I are getting married.  Two weeks from tonight and you're all invited since you will be in New York for his show. We figured two celebrations would be better than one."  Brian let go of Justin and walked to the bar, ordering a water for him and Justin.  He was hot from their dancing and needed water.  Handing the water to Justin, both men drained their respective bottles in a few minutes.

"Married.  What do you mean you're getting married?  You're Brian Kinney, stud of Liberty Avenue. I just knew Justin's moving back was a bad idea," Michael said, his indignation evident in his words and tone.

"Oh honey.  I'm so happy for you," Emmett gushed as he reached for Justin and engulfed him in a hug which Brian promptly put an end to by removing Emmett's arms.  "Two weeks isn't very much time for me to plan your big day," he said as he placed his hands on either side of his mouth.  "Wait.  You did say New York!  Why that makes it so difficult.  I best be getting on the phone right away to plan your big day.  Promise you'll come over tomorrow so we can figure out the logistics."

"Congratulations, Bri.  I know you'll be very happy together," Ted said as he slapped Brian on the back.  "Let me know if you need anything.  Legally, there is nothing that needs to be done, but if you need anything else, don't hesitate.  I just knew that something was up; you seemed very happy tonight."

"Yes, Michael, married.  And for your information, I asked Justin, not the other way around. Not that it really matters.  Justin moving back is the best thing for both of us.  Now if you don't have anything positive to say, I suggest you do as Debbie taught me and not talk at all."  Brian turned away from Michael and addressed Emmett and Ted.

"Sorry, Em, but we are leaving tomorrow for New York and the plans will be made while we're there." 

"There is something you can do, Ted.  Justin wants to buy a car.  Can you investigate where I can free up some assets to do that within the next few weeks."

Justin turned toward Brian and gave him a huge hug while kissing him on the lips.  Breaking the kiss, he said, "thank you.  I can't believe you're buying me a car for a wedding present."

Brian smirked.  "No one said it was a wedding present, but that sounds like a good one.  Although, I will go with you to buy it.  I don't want some hideous truck in our garage."

Emmett wiped the tears from his eyes and hugged Justin again.  "I'm so happy for you."

"Enough for one night.  Let's go dance some more Sunshine."  Brian walked toward the dance floor, knowing that Justin would follow.

They danced and drank and visited with their friends for a few hours.  Hot, tired and sweaty, they left Babylon around 1:30.  As Brian drove them toward Britin, Justin looked out the window, watching the familiar scenery fly by.

"It's been almost six months since my accident."

"Five months, 15 days and 20 hours," Brian said.

Justin looked at him, awe in his face. "Brian?" He knew Brian would understand the unasked question. "We're almost home."

"Ok.  I'll wait."

Five minutes later Brian drove the car into the garage and after they entered the house, he turned on the security system. Grabbing two waters from the fridge, he motioned Justin toward the living room.  Brian sat on one end of the couch and Justin sat toward the middle facing him.  He understood Brian was going to share some important information and he wanted to be able to watch him as they talked.

"From the moment I saw you in that club in New York, my life changed.  My first reaction was anger.  I was furious with you for dancing, for not coming to me to ask for money, for letting me help you. My anger turned to pride as I understood that you wanted to be independent and succeed on your own."  Brian took a drink from his water bottle and he heard the noise from the air conditioner as it kicked on.

"I sat in my hotel room that night trying to figure out what I was going to tell you.  I went over many scenarios and conversations while I waited and you didn't show up.  I wondered if you changed your mind and decided to go home with one of the patrons at the party, but then dismissed that idea pretty quickly.  Even then, I knew I would come first."

Brian picked at the label on the water bottle and then finished the drink.  He got up and grabbed another one for himself and returned to the couch.  Justin watched him intently.  This talk had been long overdue and he was somewhat surprised that Brian had initiated it, considering they had never really talked about the bashing. 

"When I received that phone call from the hospital, I almost threw up.  I screamed and yelled and almost broke the table in the hotel room.  Life was not supposed to be like this.  You were not supposed to get hurt, seriously injured yet again, but I had no control over what happened."

Brian couldn't sit still any longer.  The feelings inside him were resulting in tumult in his stomach.  He felt the anxiety of sharing strum through his body, yet he did not stop.  A part of him knew this was the right time and he thanked Justin for recognizing this need and not interrupting him. He stood to slowly pace the room as he continued to talk.

"I was terrified that you wouldn't survive and if that happened, I didn't know if I wanted to either.  Surviving without you just wasn't an option in my book."

Justin swallowed hard at that statement.  He would hate to think that Brian would give up or do something drastic if something were to happen to him, but if he were honest, he really couldn't imagine his life without Brian in it either. He heard the hum of the refrigerator in the background and waited patiently for Brian to continue.

Brian walked in a large circle, touching the little trinkets and pictures around the room, the touches that Justin had added to make Britin a home rather than a house.  He picked up a picture of Gus and Justin that had been taken at the zoo a few months back.  It had been one of the first times that Justin had remembered his artistic beginnings and he'd insisted that Gus and he pose in front of the lions. Brian had laughed at their antics but did as he bid. Smiling as he remembered the day, he put the picture back in its place and eyed one of Justin's paintings on the wall.  He looked at it, admiring the brush strokes and the vivid colors as he continued his monologue.

"You survived but when you didn't remember our relationship and your memory took you back to shortly after your prom, I died a little more.  You were there, but you weren't.  Thankfully, this time like the last time, the doctors didn't really know anything and you regained your memories."

His eyes left the painting and looked at Justin who had been following his movements around the room.  Their eyes locked and Brian said, "Justin, I count every day and every hour that you are with me. I once said to you that our separation is "only time".  While I may have fought your return to Britin, but I know it is the right time."

Brian sighed a huge sigh and his chest heaved as his heart hammered inside.  He wasn't sure where all those thoughts came from and he hoped Justin wouldn't linger and analyze them, but he knew from experience that his thoughts were filled with false hopes as Justin always took his words and analyzed them, sometimes to death.

Justin waited a few minutes to ensure that Brian was finished with his talk. When he heard the clock chime 2:30, it had been a full ten minutes that they had been in the living room without a word being said.  Brian had returned to the couch and had closed his eyes, laying his head against the back of the couch.  Justin watched the man he loved as his heart swelled.

He scooted up to him and gently leaned over to place a soft kiss on his lips, making it just long enough for Brian to respond. Somehow that one sweet intimate kiss said more than any response Justin could think of, and certainly more than those three little words could say.

"Let's go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow."

Brian opened his eyes and smiled, thankful that Justin didn't respond to his speech, but understood what needed to be done.

They went upstairs, undressed, got ready for bed without a word.  Justin shut off the lights and climbed into bed where he held Brian as they fell asleep.   TBC


	53. Planning a Life In New York

Author's Chapter Notes:  
Dear Readers:= The story is almost complete.  I hope you have enoyed the tale. Thank you to everyone who has supported and commented on the story.  It has made writing fun.  
   
Justin lay holding Brian, his arm tightly wrapped around his waist as he reviewed the last few weeks in his mind.  Now that Justin had remembered his art, they had begun spending more time with Gus.  He loved the child as if he were his own and in a way he was.  He'd been around since the day he was born and he felt certain that Brian's relationship with Gus was enhanced by his encouragement of Brian's role as a father.  He'd never really thought about having children per se, it was always one of those thoughts in his mind, but one he was unable to fully form.  Now that he was back in Pittsburgh, things might change in that direction.

The stalker situation was addressed and thanks to Brian and Carol he'd regained his confidence in his painting and his art. Since returning from New York a few weeks ago, he'd produced 7 pieces and was actively working on several more.  Returning to Pittsburgh and being with Brian was definitely the right move.  He thought about the new apartment they had purchased in New York and his heart filled with delight.

He'd been with Brian off and on for most of the last decade, but for the first time in their relationship they were actively living together on a permanent basis. No longer were their conversations peppered with when is your flight coming in and how long are you staying. Instead they spoke about going to New York for a few days and dealing with necessities rather than coming to Pittsburgh to deal with necessities. Their trip tomorrow was to deal with their new home and to set up their wedding, something both of them were involved and committed to.  No longer would they have to hide the fact that Justin was in town from their friends and family so they could enjoy a few days of just each other's company.

His accident and the weeks following it were now just a distant memory of events that seemed so far removed from his current life that he sometimes even forgot about the accident.  Tonight Brian had even opened up about his feelings at the time of the accident.  His anger and fear was palpable when he talked about those weeks and Justin found Brian's conversation a good start to their new life.

And they were getting married.  Married.  Third time is the charm or so the saying goes and he felt that for them, it was so true.  Brian had asked him three times to marry him and the first two did not end in a ceremony.  Their commitment to each other hadn't changed but this time it seemed they were doing it at the right time and for the right reasons.  They were going to New York tomorrow and picking the place of the wedding and small reception as well as signing the paperwork for their new home.  It was all a little dreamlike for Justin and he couldn't always wrap his mind around the reality of his current situation.

Finally Justin willed his mind to stop flitting about and he drifted to sleep only to be woken by the sound of the annoying alarm.  Burying his head under his pillow, he reached out to push Brian to shut the offending noise off. Brian laughed at the familiar site, Justin, head buried under a pillow willing the offending alarm to go away, but today he didn't have time to coax his partner up; they had places to go and people to see.  He dove under the covers, kissing Justin's spine as his hands caressed the soft skin.  When he got the white globes of Justin's ass, he parted them, inhaled deeply and then stuck his tongue to taste.  Licking from the top of his crack down to the base of his balls, Brian enjoyed the familiar and intoxicating taste and smell that was his partner. Justin's moans of appreciation heightened his enjoyment and he pushed his tongue inside the deep hole. Justin was humping the mattress and Brian didn't want to wait.  He grabbed the lube, quickly preparing him, donned a condom and plunged into the sweet hole. Justin raised his body on all fours, allowing for deeper penetration and soon they were both cuming.

Brian grabbed the ends of the condom and rolled off Justin as Justin slumped back to the bed.  Tying the condom in a knot and then disposing of it in the trash, he slapped Justin's ass.  "I guess you're awake now."

"Mmmm." Justin replied as he enjoyed the post coital endorphins running through his body. 

Brian pulled off the blankets and pushed Justin to the end of the bed. Justin acquiesced and followed him to the bathroom where they got in the shower.

"What time is our flight?".

"11:00.  And the signing is at 4:00.  We have a few hours to take care of things. I thought we'd go see Carol today and give her an update on your paintings and then tomorrow we can plan the wedding."

"Ok.  We're really doing this?  Getting a place and getting married?"

"Unless you've changed your mind."  Brian said as he poured the shampoo into his hand. He reached up to Justin's head and began massaging in the shampoo.

"No.  I haven't changed my mind, just still getting used to the idea."

"What's to get used to? We always said it was only time and the time is now. End of discussion."  Brian turned Justin toward the water to rinse the shampoo and grabbed the loofah to soap his body.  Brian didn't question Justin's commitment, but sometimes he thought Justin over thought.

"A wedding is supposed to be...."

"Supposed to be what.  Huge? Fancy? Casual? Planned? Unplanned? Spontaneous?  In my mind, a wedding is a ceremony where two people pledge their allegiance to each other."

"So you don't want a wedding? You've already told me you love me.  If it's not that important....?"

Brian bent down and kissed Justin on the neck, a light kiss but filled with playfulness and caring. 

"Let's not analyze this.  It's a wedding. We're getting married and that is that."

Justin closed his mouth before he said anything more.  He understood Brian's Kinney speak for this is a conversation that doesn't need to be had.  They were getting married and he didn't really need to analyze the whys and wherefores of the situation.  He was supposed to accept it. 

"So have you thought about where this wedding should take place?" Justin asked, accepting of the end of that particular conversation but still needing information on other pertinent topics.

"Nope.  You choose.  Just not something that shrieks of Debbie or Emmett.  It must be tasteful and something that makes you happy."

"What about you? "

The water cascaded down their bodies and Brian admired Justin's body for the millionth time, trusting that he was truly the luckiest man alive.  He turned Justin toward him and kissed him on the lips this time.  A deep, passionate kiss that let him know he was loved and cherished.

"Justin.  I want to be married to you. You want to be married to me.  Some 10 minute ceremony and the dinner afterward isn't going to be the celebration.  The celebration is ours, it's our opportunity to live the lives we have together.  The wedding and the celebration afterward is really for our friends and family.  I have you in my life every day and that is the best way to celebrate."

Justin looked at Brian, water in his eyes and sluicing down his body.  He was beautiful and he was his.  He finally understood.  Brian didn't care about the wedding, but rather about the meaning behind it.  He'd seen Brian slowly change in the years before his accident and the months after, and he finally got it, he finally was seeing the Brian he always knew was there, and they were finally in a position to be able to have each other and be with each other, always.

Justin was quiet for a few moments contemplating his many choices. He'd lived in New York for several years but couldn't afford many nice places except when he was with Brian.  Brian insisted that they enjoy the fine food and amenities that New York had to offer and frequently treated Justin to lavish meals and treats when he came to visit. 

He thought of the beautiful spaces like the Angel Orensanz Center or the Price George Ballroom, but quickly dismissed them as too lavish.  The Public library was also a choice but he would never hear the end of that from Brian.  There were many beautiful hotels and halls they could rent.  In his time in New York he had seen many a wedding party in locations throughout the city.  Even though the wedding was not to be lavish, he wanted it to be memorable and it hit him.

"Central Park.  Very informal, maybe in front of the castle or by the pond; it's secluded. Dinner at Picholine's; we would want everyone to remember the day with a fantastic meal.  And then afterwards, to our apartment, our new home."

Brian smiled; he finally knew that Justin understood.  Turning off the water, he reached for the towels on the warmer and gave one to Justin.  They got dressed and made their way to the airport.

The arrived in New York at 11:00 Thursday morning and took a cab to the Royalton hotel.  While they were only going to be there for a few days, Brian still insisted on superior lodging. They were allowed to check in early and Brian led Justin to the bedroom and pushed him on the bed.  Justin sat on the bed, too excited about the day's events to relax.  While Brian never missed an opportunity to have sex with Justin, he knew their time was limited and they could enjoy each other later.  He leaned over and took Justin's face between his hands, bringing it to his face and kissing his lips softly. Justin returned the kiss, gentle and filled with love.  He was enjoying this lighter side of Brian, and he knew that this was just a facet of his partner that only he got to enjoy.

"We better get to Carol's.  The apartment's close to the bank but we want to do a walk through before we sign the papers."

"Walk through.  I thought we had all the measurements we needed.  Why do we need to do a walk through?"

"Ah yes.  Your mom may be a realtor, but you obviously have not paid attention to most things she has said about her work."  Brian took a heavy sigh and proceeded to explain as he unzipped his garment bag and hung up his suit and pants. "When someone buys property they want to take one last look at the place before they sign on the dotted line.  Sometimes things happen between initial look and the closure.  There could be whole in the walls that were blocked by a door or furniture or there could be damage to other areas that were not seen the first time.  Therefore a final look through is always done before you take on the loan." He finished unpacking his suitcase and stored it in the closet.  He hated living out of a suitcase even for a few days and always unpacked so he knew where his clothes and toiletries were.  This also allowed him time to send his clothing to the laundry in the hotel if he needed it pressed for a meeting or dinner with a client..

"Ok.  That makes sense.  So what time do we have to do this ‘walk through'?"

"3:00 should give us plenty of time to go the apartment and then be at the bank by 4:00."

"It will be almost noon when we get to Carol's.  I guess we better leave.  You owe me a blow job," Justin smiled and got off the bed.  He followed Brian out of the bedroom and watched as he pulled the door closed.

When they arrived at Carol's, they were ushered into her office after just a few minutes wait.

"Justin," she kissed his cheek in a friendly greeting.  "I wasn't expecting you until next week.  I hope you're here with good news."

They moved to the small glass table in her office and Justin took out the flash-drive in his pocket.  Brian frowned when he saw the flash drive's location, feeling it should have been in a more secure place, but didn't say anything.  This was Justin's work and he should allow him to perform it as he saw fit.

"Everything is fine.  We were in town to sign the paperwork for our new apartment and to scout a place for our wedding, so we thought we'd come here too."  He grinned at the casual tone he managed to pull off even though he was very proud to be saying those words to someone outside their little family.

"Congratulations.  I know you must be very excited.  When is the wedding? I can't imagine planning a wedding and finishing your work for the show at the same time.  Things have changed for the better in just the short time since I saw you last. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks.  We're getting married the same weekend as the show. All of our family will be at the show so we thought it would be a great time.  I brought some pictures of my current work."

Carol brought over her tablet to the table and Justin plugged in his flash-drive so she could view the slides. "These are wonderful.  I know this show will be a success.  I'm glad you were able to return to painting.  I expect you here a few days before the show, say Wednesday.  The show is on Friday evening and that should be sufficient time for interviews and any last minute details."

Justin felt a slight chill run through his body at the mention of interviews and Brian reached under the table and grabbed his hand, giving it a little squeeze of support.  Justin turned toward him and dipped his head and smiled a tentative smile.  He was so thankful that Brain intuitively read his unease and sought to provide the support he needed.  Brian was his soul mate and he was so thrilled that their time was now.

"I'll be there."  Justin looked at Brian and they shared a moment of triumph, overcoming many hurdles to get to this point and the look between them was priceless.  "We just stopped by for a moment.  We have to be going. I'll see you in a week or so."

Carol stood up and walked them to the door of her office.  She knew that Justin's show would be wonderful and the beginning of a great career.  In the short time she'd known the young man; she'd seen such potential and strength and was happy to be representing such a talented man.  He had a supportive partner who appeared to understand his needs and she doubted there would be issues with his soon to be fame.

They walked the few blocks to a corner deli and ordered sandwiches; corned beef for Justin and a turkey for Brian.  Finding a corner table near the back of the deli, they sat as they waited for their number to be called.  Justin watched the people in the deli, racing to order and find a seat while their sandwiches were being prepared. 

Everyone in New York always seemed to be in a hurry.  He was thankful he did not have to deal with that any more.  His mind returned to Carol's comment about interviews and he felt his heart race a little at that thought of having to talk to Tim Callen again.

"He won't bother you," Brian said as he watched Justin..

"Number 57," a man yelled from behind the counter.  Brian looked at his ticket and realized it was their order. "I'll get it. You stay here and keep the table."

Justin nodded his head in acknowledgement but only half heard Brian's command.

Brian handed Justin his sandwich and a cup of soda.  Justin unwrapped his sandwich and then opened the top piece of bread to look inside.  Placing the bread back on the sandwich he took a bite and smiled as the familiar flavors of corned beef and mustard hit his tongue.

"He won't bother you.  Trust me," Brian repeated his earlier statement.

"How can you be sure?  He has nothing to lose."

Brian bit into his sandwich, not really tasting it as he was more concerned with the conversation at hand.  "I know people.  It isn't in his best interest to remind you of your dancing.  He knows you in a professional capacity and that is where he needs to protect his reputation.  He's a well known art critic and his job is to interview up and coming artists as well as established ones.  It would be counterproductive to bring up your past.  No one cares about how you supported yourself before your big break."

Justin took another bite of his sandwich and swallowed.  He looked at the crowd and mulled over Brian's words.  "People will be interested in my paintings not how I used to make my money to pay the bills."

"Exactly.  I used to have a paper route when I was in college and I also worked in a Big Q on weekends.  Do you think any of my accounts would be interested in that information?"

"You worked at the Big Q?" Justin asked incredulously.  "Does Michael know?".

"I  needed money and it was easy.  I could work around my soccer schedule.  Michael just knows I had a stocking job."

"Wow.  So why do you give him such shit about the Big Q?"

"Because, I worked there in college to pay my bills.  He was working there in his late 20's as a potential career. There is a big difference. Now that he owns the comic book store, I don't give him as much grief."

"Sure you do.  You tell him all the time that running a comic book store is way easier than running Kinnetik."

"He knows I'm proud of him and Red Cape.  It's all in fun."

"Well, he's your friend." Justin wasn't going to argue the point.  He knew that Michael and Brian's friendship was an area that he would never truly understand and lately, he would rather not be a part of it, even as a third party as he thought Michael did not want the same things for Brian as he did.

"Has the beast been placated?  Can we go to the apartment and look around?  We only have a little time.  Our meeting with Carol ran longer than I thought it would."

Justin took the last bite of his sandwich and swallowed the last of his soda.  Gathering his trash, he took it to the trash can and nodded toward the door. Brian followed suit and they were soon in another cab on their way to the apartment.

They had called the super to let them in and he met them at the door. The walk through didn't take very long as everything was as it should be.  Justin closed his eyes as he envisioned their new purchases in the rooms.

"I think the couch should go here," he said as he pointed to an area in the living room.  "This time we don't have to mimic having sex over the back; we can actually do it," Justin smiled mischievously as he remembered their shopping trip.

"Oh, I don't know.  I was thinking it should go by the island.  That way we can keep the lube and condoms in the drawer."

"That's an idea, too. When will the stuff be delivered?  Do we need to be here?"

"We'll get the keys tonight after the closing.  We can have them deliver the furniture on Saturday.  That way it will be here when you have to come back for the show."

Justin pinched his arm and Brian frowned at him.

"Yes, it is real.  We are going to soon be the proud owners of New York real estate," Brian assured Justin.   Brian's phone beeped, notifying him of an upcoming appointment.  He looked at the phone and saw the reminder for the closing.  "Time to go, Sunshine."

They closed the door and rode the elevator down, catching another cab to the bank.  They reviewed the papers with the representative and signed 20 different forms and were given the keys to their new home.

"We own an apartment in New York," Justin said as they left the small room.

"We do.  I think it calls for a celebration.  Let's go back to the hotel and celebrate in style.  Tomorrow we'll take care of the wedding."

They returned to the hotel and spent the next several hours celebrating their triumphs and accomplishments.   TBC                        


	54. A Wedding and A Show

This ends the very long story of the The Stripper.  For those of you who have commented and encouraged me throughout the story, I thank you for your support.  For those readers who were waiting until the story was finished, you may now indulge yourself.  I've been told that my readers want this universe to continue, so I will think on that and see if I can figure out where they may go from here. 

They returned from New York on Sunday afternoon and decided to join the traditional family dinner at Debbie's.  Walking into the small wall-papered room, the family all stopped talking as they saw the two men enter.  


"Sunshine, Brian.  About time you joined us," Debbie said as she turned to Michael.  "Go grab two more chairs from the closet." Debbie walked over to Brian and gave him a big hug.  "Michael tells me you are getting married.  I'm so proud of you."  She gave Brian a big kiss on his cheek and then attempted to rub off the lipstick.  


"Ma...." Michael started to talk, but Debbie ignored him.  


"So tell me about the wedding.  It's going to be in New York.  At least you were man enough to have it the same time as Sunshine's show, that way we all can be there. I'd never forgiven you if you'd gotten married without me seeing it."   


"I know I'm going to cry my eyes out," Emmett said as he looked at the two men.  "You make such a beautiful couple, dark and light, tall and short,...."  


"Enough with the comparisons, Emmy Lou.  We are just two guys getting married.  Simple.  Justin's show is on Friday at 8:00. We'll attend the show and then get married the next day.  The wedding will be at 3:00 on Saturday and dinner will follow. Double celebration and it will be fabulous."  Brian looked toward the kitchen and saw Debbie bringing out the Puttenesca for dinner.  "Let's eat."  


After the little discussion there was no more talk about the wedding. Every time the topic came up either Brian or Justin changed the subject quickly.  It was an unspoken decision on both their parts to keep the topics on the back burner.  As Brian had told Justin while they were in New York, the wedding was really for their family as they had already decided to be together.  They didn't feel the need to discuss their decisions regarding the wedding.  


It had been a long four days and both men stated fatigue, excusing themselves from the family gathering.   


"Daddy, can I be in your wedding?" Gus asked as they were walking toward the door.  


Brian stopped cold at the question and turned around toward Gus.  "Do you want to be in our wedding?"  


"Of course.  Last time I was going to give you the rings.  Remember we practiced.  Can I do that again?  It would be fun to watch you get married.  I know all my friends would be jealous.  None of them have gotten to go to a wedding, or least their parent's wedding."  


"I think we can arrange for you to be a part of our wedding."  Turning toward Justin, he asked, "What do you think?  Think Gus can handle being the ring bearer for this shindig?"  


Justin squatted down in front of Gus.  "I would love for you to be the ring bearer.  I'll come over this week and we'll talk a little more.  The wedding is a surprise for everyone so I don't want to tell you more now.  Can you keep a secret?"  


Gus nodded his head vehemently, then turned and announced.  "Justin is going to come over this week and tell me about the wedding. It's a secret."  


The crowd smiled at the announcement and just returned to their previous conversations. Brian and Justin both hugged Gus goodbye with promises of seeing each other during the week. It still surprised Brian how much he enjoyed being Gus's father and it stunned him even more every time Gus hugged him and wanted to spend time with him.  


They got in Brian's car and drove to the Britin.   


"I think it's cool that Gus wants to be in the wedding," Justin said as he started to take off his clothes.  "I'm going to take a shower.  I feel all dirty from the plane flight.  Kennedy airport may be one of the busiest ones, but it's not necessarily the cleanest one."  


Brian didn't answer him verbally, he just took off his clothes as well as he joined Justin in the shower.   
"When are you going to meet with him?  You know he will expect it since you told him it was a secret.  Little boys love secrets," Brian said as he adjusted the water temperature.  


"I was a little boy once, even if I was a gay little boy. There are some things I did that were very boyish," Justin said a little indignantly.  


"Oh I wouldn't say you were little now," Brian said as he palmed Justin's quickly growing cock.  


"Nope, not little but you would never want a little cock up your ass."  


"And who said it was going anywhere near my ass?"  


"I thought it was a good idea.  And from the looks of your cock, he seems to think so too."  Justin said as he felt Brian's cock.  


"I like the way you think.  I think I will let you drive."  


They hurriedly finished their shower and went to the bedroom.  Justin didn't top very often, but tonight he felt the need to do so and evidently Brian didn't have any objections. Justin preferred to be the bottom, but occasionally he wanted to be the top and Brian liked giving Justin the control to do so.  It was just another part of their maturing partnership.  


Justin positioned Brian on his stomach and began kissing him on his neck.  Soft, light kisses, almost not there kisses, but as he traveled down Brian's spine the kisses were open mouthed, with a light lick and kiss as Justin's mouth followed the natural curve to Brian's ass.  Preparing Brian slowly with one finger and then two, he finally decided that he was ready and quickly sheathed himself with the condom lying on the bed beside him.  


Brian hissed slightly at the intrusion but then pushed back at every thrust of Justin's dick up his ass.  Soon he was saying, "Yes, harder, Oh," as Justin brought him ever closer to climax. His words brought more fervor to Justin and he plunged into Brian quickly bringing both of them to climax.   


"That was great!" Brian said as he felt the intense beating of his heart.  


"Aaamazing," Justin said and pulled out, tying the condom and disposing of it in the trash.  


They both looked at each other briefly before giggling, remembering a previous time saying that, but the roles were reversed. Brian rolled to his side and still grinning, he curled his arm around Justin as the two men fell asleep.  


Waking a few hours later as they were stuck together, Brian grunted.  


"Ugh.  We're stuck.  Guess we should go shower again," he suggested but didn't make a move to get out of the bed.  


"Nah.  Morning will be fine. I'm comfortable," said Justin and Brian rolled over again, resuming his earlier position and fell back asleep.  


The following week went by quickly.  Justin spent the majority of time in his studio or visiting his little family.  He met with Daphne at her office one afternoon for an impromptu visit where he shared bits and pieces of Brian's little speech.  


Sitting on the comfortable overstuffed leather chair in her office, he picked up a small stone coaster with a ship on it and played with it in his hand.  "Daph.  It was really touching.  He was angry with me but then he was so scared I wouldn't make it.  He was hurting and he was elated.  But the biggest change is that he shared them with me."  


"You're supposed to share feelings Justin.  It's what couples do." Daphne smiled inwardly at Justin's statements.  She was really pleased to hear that Brian had finally begun to share his feelings with Justin.  She'd known for a long time that the man had strong feelings for Justin as evidenced by his late night calls and visits after Justin's accident, but to hear that he finally was sharing them with his partner meant that he had finally listened to her or just learned to accept those feelings and share them with his partner. Either way, she was thrilled to hear about the exchange.  


"I know that and you know that, you're the therapist, but this is Brian Kinney- the man who couldn't say ‘I love you' if his life depended on it.  He's changed."  


"Change is good."  


"Yeah, but I never thought I'd want that. I mean change is good and the first time he asked me to marry him and then he offered to cuddle, I almost leapt out of bed as I thought an alien had taken him over.  He changed then too, but this is different.  This time the change doesn't seem so out of place.  It's like he's thought about it and its normal.  He doesn't seem to be forcing any of his thoughts or feelings.  He's finally allowing himself to feel."  


"Brian is admitting he has feelings, instead of dampening them down."  


"Yeah.  He told me that the ceremony is really for the family as he already has what he wants, me.  I think that may be the most romantic thing he's ever said to me."  


"It looks like you two finally got what you have always wanted, each other."  


"Not only that, but we now have an apartment in New York and I'm going to have my first solo show.  I'm the luckiest man alive."  


"I'm happy for you. I can't wait for the wedding and the show."  


Justin kissed his best friend and walked toward the door of her office.  "Thanks for working me in your busy schedule. I just had to talk to you."  


"Always, Justin.  I'm here for you and for Brian."  Daphne got out of her deep red chair and walked Justin to the door, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before he opened it.  "Say hi to Brian for me and tell him I can't wait for the wedding."  


"Will do."  


He'd gone to his mom's for dinner one night when Brian had to work late.  As she was cooking the vegetables, she pointed to the cabinets.  


"Set the table, sweetheart.  Molly has a meeting for seniors at school and Tucker agreed to take her.  It's just the two of us."  


Justin got out the plates and silverware and remembered a dinner not that long ago at his mom's where he had to ask where those items were located as he could not remember.  He brushed that memory quickly from his mind and focused on the present.  


"Just a few more days.  I still can't believe you and Brian are finally getting married.  I'm so happy for you."  


Justin sat at the kitchen table and played with the glass on the table. "There was a time when that statement would have never come out of your mouth, let alone be thought of. I'm glad you feel that way, mom."  


"Things change, Justin and while I was not always the biggest fan of Brian Kinney, in the last few years I've seen how much he cares for you.  There is a part of the traditional marriage ceremony that says you will be there for your partner in sickness and in health and while you guys weren't married, Brian was there for you every step of the way after your accident.  He shows you every day how much he cares."  Jennifer took out the roast from the oven and placed it on the stove to cool.  "I'm excited to be his mother in law."  


Justin stared at his mother, happy that they had come this far in their relationship.   


"Thank you.  He is a wonderful man."  


"He is," Jennifer said and got out the makings for a salad.  


"Tell me about your apartment.  Will I be able to see it when we come up next weekend?  I can't wait to see it."  


"The furniture was delivered while we were there last week, but let's hold off on your first visit until Brian and I have spent some time there.  We're going there after the wedding and we'd prefer to be alone."  Justin blushed slightly when he spoke and Jennifer caught the brief tingeing of his cheeks.  


Feeling a little embarrassed herself, she said, "Oh.  Well whenever you're ready, I'd love to see it.  When do you go back up to New York?"  


"Day after tomorrow. Brian has a last minute campaign he has to finish so he can't join me until Friday morning, but that's fine.  I'll be pretty busy with interviews and last minute details."  Justin felt his heart speed up a little at the mention of interviews but allowed himself to be calmed as he remembered Brian's words.  


"Ok.  Well dinner is ready, so let's eat."  


Justin and his mom had an enjoyable dinner.  Justin thought that everything seemed to be happier and more exciting these days.  He wondered if his impending marriage was the reason, but he didn't dwell on the idea too much.  He was just thrilled to be floating on a cloud of excitement and anticipation.  


Two days later he was up before dawn to catch the red eye to New York. Brian was still sleeping and he hated to disturb him but he wanted to tell him goodbye; therefore he leaned down and gave him a small kiss on his lips and stood to leave their bedroom.  


Brian was awake and opened his eyes.  "Call me when you get there. You'll be great. Remember, you are fabulous."  


Justin smiled and went to catch the taxi he'd called for earlier.  


He arrived in New York and went back to the Dream Hotel.  Brian and he had decided to wait to stay in their new apartment until after their wedding; a very romantic gesture on both their parts. He'd dropped his luggage at the hotel and took a cab to Carol's office where he was greeted by her secretary.  


"Carol said to make yourself comfortable.  She'll be out in a few minutes."  


Justin sat in the sleek white furniture and viewed the skyline of New York and he thought of the view that their new apartment had.  He loved that there was a balcony where they could stand and look out over all of New York and he bet the view was spectacular after dark.  


Carol came out of her office with Tim Callen following her.  "You remember Tim, don't you Justin."  


Justin stood up and felt the hammering of his heart could probably be heard throughout the office.  He stuck out his hand as he remembered his country club manners.  


"Mr. Callen," he said politely.  


"Justin, call me Tim."  


"Ok.  Tim."  


"Tim is going to go with you to the gallery.  I promised him an exclusive interview with him.  Tomorrow, there will be swarms of people ogling your work so I thought today would be the perfect opportunity for you two to talk." Carol smiled at the men and walked toward her office.  "Call my assistant if you need anything, Justin.  Otherwise I'll see you tomorrow before the show.  It will be fabulous."  


Justin took several deep breaths and walked toward the door of the office and Tim followed him. Justin was silent as he got into the elevator and continued his reticence as he hailed a cab.  


Tim did not try to start a conversation as he knew Justin was probably very uncomfortable with the situation.  While he was thrilled that his magazine had been chosen to receive the exclusive interview, he knew this interview would be more awkward than most.  It was common practice to give one magazine exclusive rights to the artist, but he'd never felt so torn about an assignment as he did now.  


They walked into the gallery where Justin's work was in the process of being hung.  Justin walked around the gallery for at least half an hour as he admired the work and the way it was being displayed.  Carol definitely had chosen well when she told him that the top hanger was displaying his show.  He would have never thought to put some of the pictures together. Tim admired Justin's work and was in awe of his talent.  He recognized that this young man's career was about to take off.  


After Justin finished touring the exhibit, he walked to the back of the gallery where the offices were located.  He gestured toward the back office and left the door open as he sat in one of two chairs.  He fidgeted with his phone, sent a text message to Daphne and placed it on the table.  


"Justin, I know this must be awkward, but I assure you this is strictly professional," Tim said in a way to assure Justin of his honorable intentions.  


"Ok," Justin said as he reminded himself of Brian's talk.  


"Your work is quiet forceful for someone so young.  I'm impressed."  


"Thank you."  


"I can see some of your pictures are very vivid and others are muted.  Can you tell me about the differences?"  


"They all share emotions, but sometimes the emotions are so strong that I have to mute them to get them on canvas, otherwise the canvas would explode and it would be difficult to view the piece."  


"And the vibrant ones?"  


"Those are filled with joy and the happiness leaps off the canvas."  


"So the muted ones are painted when you weren't happy?"  


"Not always.  The muted ones are painted when I have stronger emotions."  


"I see.  You must have had a lot happen to you in your life for there to be so many muted canvases."  


Justin found talking to Tim very easy, much easier than he anticipated and before he knew it several hours had passed.  Tim's phone beeped letting him know he had another appointment.  


"Thank you for sharing your art with me.  I can't wait to see the last picture that will be unveiled tomorrow.  Carol is smart not to have all of your work out at one time.  I know you will go far, but I must leave for another engagement."  Tim struck out his hand and Justin shook it.  


When he left, he immediately called Brian.  


"Hey," Brian said as he answered the phone.  He picked up the paperweight with a picture of Gus inside of it and looked at it as he spoke to Justin.  


"I just finished with my interview with Tim Callen."  


"Oh.  You sound good.  Everything ok?"  


"Yep.  You were right.  Consummate professional.  He really does know his art and if we had met in this capacity instead of the other, I think I could really like the man."  


"Give it time.  You may still find you like him and he may become an important ally in your climb to the top."  


"Ok.  Well. It's late and I'm headed back to the hotel. I'm going to order room service, take a bath and then we can have phone sex. Afterwards, I have to get my beauty sleep for the show tomorrow."  


"Don't forget that Saturday, you're getting married and you will need your beauty sleep for the honeymoon in order to keep up with your new husband."  


Justin laughed as his heart skipped a beat at that.  "See you in the morning."  


As promised they had phone sex and Justin yearned for Brian in his bed.  


Everyone came for the show.  They all flew in on the same flight and were booked in the same hotel. Brian thought it would be easier to coordinate the weekend with everyone in the same place at the same time.  


The hotel was only 4 blocks from the gallery but they all chose to take cabs to the event rather than walk the distance in their nice clothes.  The gallery was filled with patrons when they arrived and they separated to view the exhibit on their own.  


Brian went to find Justin.  When he saw Justin, he was talking to Carol and he didn't want to interrupt them, but then Justin glanced his way and excused himself to go to Brian.  


"Do you see how many people are here? The place is packed.  Carol says I've already sold half my pieces and the show has only been open for an hour."  


Brian kissed Justin on the cheek.  "I told you it would be fabulous and now Carol can rest assured that you can paint anywhere."  


Brian grabbed some champagne off a tray that a waiter was carrying and took a sip.  He made a slight frown. "I've had better, but it's not bad for an art opening. When is the unveiling of the big picture?"  


Justin looked at his watch and said, "10 minutes.  Find me before hand; I want you by my side."  Justin left Brian and returned to the group he'd been talking to earlier. A few minutes later, he made his way back to the back wall where the large canvas was under wraps.  Brian was by his side a few moments later.  


"Ladies and gentleman, thank you for coming. As you all can see, we have a very talented new artist with us tonight and we have a special surprise.  He has another canvas under wraps and no one has seen it, even me.  He insisted that it be unveiled tonight at the show."  She looked at Justin and waved him up towards the canvas.  "Ready?"  


Justin grabbed one side of the wrap and Carol grabbed the other and unveiled the piece.  There was applause from the audience as they looked at the stunning piece but the person who couldn't take his eyes away was Brian.   


The piece was a collage, but Brian saw all the things in the picture that Justin had only subdued to the unknowing eye. He recognized the garage from the prom as well as the front of the hotel where he last danced.  He saw the loft and Britin and there were even familiar pieces of Babylon in there. It was titled a new life and Brian understood that Justin had all his memories intact and was painting his old life with the hope of a new one to come.  Justin looked at him and smiled as Brian tipped his head in his direction and smiled a large smile.  Justin had come full circle and was ready to start a new life, a new life with him.  


The opening lasted a few hours more and the Pittsuburgh contingent left around 10:00 while Brian stayed with Justin till the last guest departed at 11:30.   


"Congratulations, Justin.  The show was a success," Carol said as she made her way to the couple.  "I've had several gallery owners approach me about your work tonight and I suspect you will be in demand for quite a while."  


"Thank you for believing in me, Carol," Justin said.  


"Let's go back to the hotel, Sunshine.  We have a big day tomorrow."  


The two men left the gallery and returned to the hotel.  After a nice long shower, they made love slowly and enjoyed each other's bodies.  They fell asleep almost immediately.  


In the morning, they slept in and then went to the hotel spa for a couples massage and to enjoy the steam room.  They dressed for their wedding and checked out of the hotel.  Brian had arranged for their bags to be delivered to their apartment and they took a cab to Central Park.  


The ceremony was only going to be about 10 minutes; therefore no chairs were set up for the attendees.  The judge that they had hired arrived about 10 minutes before the ceremony and he reviewed the ceremony with them.  


The wedding was to take place in front of a small pond. It was isolated, away from the traffic of the park and quite serene.  Jennifer smiled when she took in her surroundings.  It was gentle and beautiful and she could see where Justin would want to celebrate his union with Brian here.  Their lives were filled with constant motion and deadlines.  Here in this small tranquil piece of the busiest park in in one of the busiest cities in the world, was a slice of quiet where they could celebrate their love without the deadlines and stressors of their busy lives.   


Looking at the small close knit family that was there to witness this momentous event, she thought back to the first time she met Brian.  She remembered that he struck her as sincere and caring even then.  He was also quite a bit older than Justin and she feared for his safety, but she knew even then that Brian was a take charge person who had fierce loyalties as evidenced by his comments to her and Craig that night when he encouraged Justin to go with him rather than live a lie. Brian was always truthful and she admired him for that trait.  Her heart filled with love for the man who loved her son and accepted him with all his flaws.  


 Jennifer and Debbie were in the front of the small crowd and they both held handkerchiefs to pat their eyes dry with.  Jennifer wore a nice black pant suit and Debbie was wearing a similar outfit.  They'd gone shopping together when they heard the news.  Molly was there and she'd brought her best friend, Lucinda and they had on pink dresses.  Their friends, Michael, Ben, Ted, Emmett, Drew and Blake all wore nice trousers with dress shirts.  Cynthia had come to see the nuptials and she wore a summer blue sundress. Melanie and Lindsay had worn yellow sundresses and Gus had on a small Gucci pair of pants that looked similar to his father's.  


The only person from New York that came was Jake and he stood off to the side, watching Justin's Pittsburgh family celebrate this momentous event.  He wore a pair of khaki's and a blue button down shirt, and Brian commented later that it reminded him of a prep school student.   


Justin and Brian walked to the front of the small crowd as the family parted to let them pass.  As usual it was an unspoken rule that the king and his consort had arrived and the people should make way for them. Justin had consented to wear a pair of Hugo Boss pants in charcoal gray with a midnight blue shirt.  Brian had chosen a pair of black Gucci pants with a grey shirt. They made a stunning pair, as always.  


Holding hands they looked at each other, oblivious to the small crowd of friends that watched their momentous event.  


The judge looked at them and started.  


"Brian and Justin have asked me to legally sanction their union.  When they first approached me to perform this ceremony, I did what I always do and asked them a few questions about why they wanted to get married. I'll let them tell you in their own words.  Brian, why do you want to marry Justin?"  


"I want to marry Justin as I have finally found the one person in the world that I would do anything for and to make him happy would be my greatest accomplishment."   


"Justin, why do you want to marry Brian?"  


"Brian is the one man who is in my thoughts 24 hours a day and there is not a moment when I do not think of him as the person who completes me."  


"Those answers are the basis of a good marriage.  I understand this young man has some rings.  Will you come up and give them to Brian?" The judge motioned for Gus to come up to where the two men stood.  


"Here Daddy.  I kept really close watch on them like you told me to.  I didn't lose them, not even once."  


"Good job, Gus," Brian said as he ruffled his hair.  "Now go sit with your mommies. Thanks for keeping the rings safe."  


"Brian do you want to marry Justin?"  


"I do."  


"Will you support him through all of life's ups and downs?"  


"I will."  


"Please place the ring on his finger."  


"And Justin will you marry Brian and support him in all of life's triumphs and disappointments?"  


"I will."  


"You may place the ring on Brian's finger as well."  Justin placed the ring on Brian's finger and both men took a moment to look at them on their fingers and smiled at each other.  


"You are the embodiment of marriage.  Two people who feel the other completes them and will support them in life. I pronounce you married in the eyes of New York State. You may kiss your husband."  


Brian and Justin moved in close to kiss.  They opened their mouths and joined their souls with a celebratory kiss that lasted several minutes.   


Justin's stomach chose that moment to grumble loud enough for everyone to hear.  Justin pulled away from the kiss and sheepishly grinned.   


"I guess I've been too excited to eat."  


"Let's go celebrate."  Brian paid and thanked the judge and herded everyone toward the street where they hailed cabs to take them to Picholine's and the celebratory meal.   


Brian held Justin back as everyone walked to the street. He walked him over to where their short, but sweet ceremony had been and pointed to the camera and tripod that Justin hadn't even noticed earlier.  


"You didn't think I was going to let you out of having a few pictures taken, did you?"  


"I didn't even know you wanted pictures or I would have suggested a photographer. Although that seemed a bit too traditional for our ceremony."  


"I know exactly what I want in a picture, and I think given my background and experience I know how to take a picture... not to mention I know exactly what position I want you in."  


Justin laughed heartily at the innuendo that only Brian could make funny and sexy at the same time. Brian set the timer and then moved to stand next to Justin. They smiled for the camera, and then smiled at each other.  


As Brian packed up his camera and they made their way to the restaurant, he was definitely looking forward to developing the final picture taken, and surprising Justin with the pictures he'd already set it to take during the ceremony, including their kiss. He was positive that Justin's artistic and romantic side would be thrilled.  


The meal was noisy and boisterous, just like a typical Sunday dinner at Debbie's.  Everyone made a point of congratulating the couple.  


Michael stood up to make a toast, "To my best friend."  


Everyone clunked glasses and Brian and Justin looked at each other, each choosing not to bring up the obvious lack of Justin's presence in the toast.  They were too happy to deal with the situation now.  


When the meal was complete, Brian and Justin stood up and walked to the front of the small room.  


"Thank you for joining us, but I have a new husband to play with,"  Brian said, the mirth and playfulness evident in his voice.  


Justin blushed a little and grabbed Brian's hand.   


"See you all in a few days."  They left and grabbed a taxi to their new home.  They had not told anyone the address, fearful that the family would find a "reason" to come and see them.  They decided when the returned to Pittsburgh, it would be time enough.  


After the meal, Brian and Justin returned to their new apartment.  Brian picked up Justin and carried him over the threshold.  


Brian placed him on the bed and proceeded to undress his husband.  


Justin helped undress Brian as well and when they were naked, they stopped to look at each other.  


"We're married," Justin said.  "We did it."  


"Of course. When Brian Kinney decides to do something, it always gets done."  


"Well. Mr. Kinney-Taylor, I think your husband needs a blow job and then a good pinning to the mattress and I seem to recall you promised me those this morning before our massage."  


"I did at that and I always keep my word, Mr. Taylor-Kinney."  


Justin shivered at that name, loving the name, and more importantly the man in front of him more than anything.  


And they spent all the rest of the day showing each other exactly how much they loved each other.  


The end  


 


End file.
